I Know What ____ Is Made Out Of

This is Noel's favorite saying lately. Just about every time I give her food or drink she says, "Mommy, I know what (fill in the blank) is made out of." Sometimes she gets it right. Sometimes it is just so cute or funny that I have to laugh.

Here are some of the things she has said lately:

"Mommy, I know what milk is made out of. Cows"
"Mommy, I know what crackers are made out of. Crack." (My personal favorite.)
"Mommy, I know what corn dogs are made out of. Bread and hot dogs."

Messy Dog

I washed my dog yesterday. She was really dirty! I was so proud of myself for actually remembering to not only wash her, but brush her as well. She was so pretty.

Well, that was last night. This morning she came in from...well, you know...covered in MUD! I was so upset. It was way worse that what the kids would have done. It was almost the same feeling I get when I finally get "all" of the laundry done just to have a child pee in their pants as I fold the last towel. UGH! I would share picture of her, but I was so frustrated I didn't thing about it until after I sent her back out and went to take a shower.

Legos: The Best Invention Ever

I Got The Job!

After playing phone tag with the HR department at Dish Network, I finally talked to Brandy yesterday. I will start my training as a CSR2 (customer service representative, level 2) on Monday. I am so excited and nervous at the same time!

I get to start as a level 2 because I already had 2 years in a call center (it was over 8 years go, but it counts). All that I can tell that means is that I get paid more than the people who have no call center experience. That works for me.

My training sift is going to be 3:00pm to 11:30pm. That means that I can at very least drop my kids off at school, and I don't have to completely miss Sean's first day ever of school or Eric's first day of second grade. That makes me happy.

I am a bit nervous about the fact that while our relationship is so fragile, John and I will only see each other about 2 hours a day on the week days while I am training. It is only for 5 weeks, but it is going to be really hard.

As far as getting the children cared for, my wonderful sister-in-law,, Rachel, will be watching them for a few hours a day. There are still some things that have to be decided on when school starts, but I will have a few weeks to figure that out. I thought that the kids may not like having to go somewhere else to be watched so much, but they are really excited to be going to Aunt Rachel's on Monday.

When I am done with training I will be on graveyards for at least 8 weeks with Tuesday and Wednesday off. That will be hard as far as finding time to sleep, but I will get that figured out. I'm just happy that I will be still able to to be with my kids.

Week Two at Everest

The second week of school is over for me. I can tell that I am already leaning a lot.

The good news is that I still have A's in both classes. I have 100% in Strategies for Success and 98% in Medical Terminology. I took my first Medical Terminology quiz on Wednesday and got a 93%. I was excited! I could have had 100%, but there was one trick question, and I got it wrong. I am hoping to continue to get 100% on all of my other work so that the grade will get even better . (Does that make me a nerd? Oh, well. I'll take that as a compliment if it does.)

I made the mistake a few days ago of actually looking though the syllabuses to get an idea of what my assignments will be for the next few months. It overwhelmed me so much. I had to remind myself that I just need to take this one week or unit at at time. I may even go as far as saying one assignment at time.

The only thing that is really irritating me is the group work. I don't want to have to work as a group to complete any assignments. I guess I will just have to suck it up and do it for the next few months though. I am sure that I will have to do group work in other classes, too. Hopefully, I will be put into a better group though.

A Common Goal

Our marriage counselor suggested that John and I have a common goal to work on since we had been running almost separate lives for so long. It took us a while, but we finally have one. We have started working out together in the morning. For the last three days, we have been trying to get up at 6am and turning on an exercise video and exercising. OK. The videos that we have been doing have only been about 10 minute workouts, but we have got to start some where right?

Dear George

I thank you for buying the tile that I posted on craigslist. I thank you for not only paying my asking price, but doubling it. I am, however, irritated at the way this transaction has been conducted. On Saturday, you said that you would be sending me a check overnight. I expected the check to be in my hand Tuesday at the latest. When you sent me an email stating that your secretary had sent me the wrong check by mistake, and you would like for me to transfer the difference of the funds to your mover, I was understanding. I understand that you are nervous about sending me so much more money than we agreed, but you really need to stop sending me you emails with the subject in all caps. I don't like being yelled at in person or virtually. I have been conducting myself in a professional manner, and I expect the same out of you. I sent you an email stating that my bank would not give me the cash I needed to take to Walmart to do the Moneygram transfer until tomorrow to make sure that the check cleared. Why did you send me an email back telling me to send you the info from the Moneygram receipt today? That would take some kind of miracle. Really, Dude, calm down! I am not the one that made the mistake. maybe you should have a serious talk with the secretary that sent me the amount she was supposed to send the mover. I am an honest person (at least when it comes to stuff like this). I want to get rid of the tile as much as you want to get the tile (maybe even more so).

Thank you,
Rosa

***I feel so much better now!

Torn

I'm torn. I have pretty much been hired on a Dish Network. (I just have to pass the background check and drug screen.) I know I need to work. That part is obvious. The thing is, now that it is becoming more of a reality, I am freeking out.

I was told that I can't miss any days in the first 5 weeks. Sean's first day of school ever (we did preschool at home) will be within that time. John assured me that he can get the day off of work. I am greatful for that, but it is just not the same. I want to be there when he goes into the school for the first time, and I want to be there to pick him up and get his reaction first had as he comes out of school. I am his mommy. It is breaking my heart.

Noel came to me Monday talking about the boys not going to school yet. I told her that they would be in about a month. Her little face lit up, and she said, "Then it will be just me and you til Sean-Sean has a school trip. Then I can go to Melissa's house." That broke my heart too. I had to tell her that it probably wouldn't be that way. She was probably going to have to go to day care. He little face dropped. I told her that we would try to find one that was like going to school (a day care center). She seemed a bit happier, but not as happy as when she thought that her days would be filled with being alone with just Mommy. It broke my heart.

I love my kids. I would do anything for them. I need to get a job so that they can be provided for now and in the future. With the uncertainty in this world, we never know how stable any job is. I hope that in the future that my kids will understand that me getting a job now was for them. In the meantime, I hope the transition is smooth and doesn't upset them too much.

My First Week

My first week of school is done! I can't believe it. I love it so far. I feel like I am actually doing something useful for my family now. I know that in a few years I will be able to work in the medical billing and coding profession and really make a difference in the quality of life for me and my family. That gives me even more drive to do my work.

I am taking two classes this term, Medical Terminology and Strategies for Success. So far, Medical Terminology is a bit hard, but still fun. Strategies for Success seems to be about goal making and prioritizing. I admit that I do need to do this more in my life. At first, I thought this was a horrible class to require student to take, but now, after starting week two, I am thinking that it is great. If I don't get an A in this class, I will scream though.

I am happy to report that so far I have 100% in each class. That actually surprised me. One of my answers on a paper was seriously, "I can't find this anywhere." The teacher still gave me a 20/20 on that paper. I would have to think that either she hadn't posted the information that was needed for that question yet, or she was just being nice since it was the first assignment. Either way, I will be trying harder to make sure I have read everything available for my assignments from now on. I didn't like the worrying about the assignment from Monday (the day I turned the paper in) until Sunday (the day the grade was posted).

Warning! Vent Alert!

This week has been really stressful. I know some of the reason, but not all. I know that when I am looking forward to something it makes the days leading up to said event (in this case going out for my birthday this weekend) a lot harder to handle. I, also, know that when the kids are looking forward to something, it makes them ask when that event is going to happen (in this case spending the night at Uncle Asher's and Aunt Rachel's tonight). There are other more obvious reasons that, as promised before, I will not discuss on my blog.

Why am I writing about this? Well, I have noticed that it seems to be coming to a head this morning. John left for work early this morning. Not as early as he did with he last job, but early for us to be getting up lately. I couldn't bring myself to go back to sleep, so I got up, took a shower, and expected to have some quiet time all to myself for just a little while. I was wrong.

As I came out of my room this morning, Sean came out of his room too. Noel was soon to follow. They both wanted cuddle time. (The mark of the mornings first fit.) I started with Sean, and then cuddled Noel because we determined a while back that going in the order they got up was the most fair way. While cuddling Noel, Eric woke up and wanted breakfast and to be cuddled too (I hope he doesn't decide he is too big for that anytime soon). To get Noel off my lap I told her and Sean to go look in the dishwasher for a cup and a plate for breakfast. There was only one small plate in the dishwasher, and I don't like them climbing on the counters to get stuff out of the cupboards (welcome fight number one). I got up and got plates out for the two remaining children when I was done with cuddling Eric. Then, they were loud and obnoxious through out breakfast. Normally, I interact with them through breakfast, but I just didn't feel like it today because of my already sour mood. After breakfast, Noel got dressed right away (I probably wouldn't have chose that as an outfit, but she is happy, I won't fight her on it). It took Sean about an hour to get dressed, and Eric took about 2 hours to get dress. In the mean time, they continued to be loud. ARGH!

The highlight of my morning so far? John called me just to see how I was doing.

Pierced Ears

On July 3 we took Noel to the mall and got her ears pierced. She was so excited to be able to wear earrings like Mama and Brynna (a girl her age at church). She had decided before going that she was going to get pink earrings and was very excited that they had pink flower ones!

We're Working it Out

John and I have decided that we will be working out our problems and saving our relationship. We both know and understand that there is a long road ahead of us, but we are up to the challenge. What does this mean for me? It means that I don't have to be facing single motherhood. Yay! It means that I don't have to face living without him. Yay! It means that I am learning to be more assertive. It means that A LOT of my time and energy are being taken with these efforts. I can honestly say that I never saw myself in this situation, and I hope to never be again. I feel that this is the right decision for me and my family. The last month (about) has been a roller coaster to say the least. I don't see that going away anytime soon. Life is hard. It is a lot of work. My life has been filled with lots of ups and downs. I have a tendency to dwell on the downs. I seem to look at other peoples problems and wish that they were mine instead. Of course there are problems that other people have that I wouldn't imagine wanted, and I am glad for my trials when I hear about theirs. Then I go back to feeling sorry for myself. I know that only a few of you really know what has been going on, but I want it to stay that way. I don't think it would be good for anyone involved in the mess that has been going on for it to get out. I love my husband. That is what matters. He and I are going to be fine. We are going to get though this and be happier for it. I not only have to believe that, I do believe it.

I know this kind of jumps all over the place. I just felt that I needed to get it out. I needed to let everyone that I am doing fine. I know I have been keeping to myself a lot lately. Just give me some more time. I will back to being social again. I just can't say when right now.

I Changed My Mind

I have been changing my mind a lot lately. It drives me crazy sometimes, but I have learned to deal with it.

I was sure yesterday morning that I wanted to go to school online at National American University. Well, I will still be going to an online school, but I have decided to go to Everest University Online. Through Everest I can get an associates degree upon finishing the medical billing and coding program and then move onto a bachelors program if I so choose. With National American I would have received a certificate upon completion. I feel better about the idea of having a degree. I think it would get me farther. I could be wrong, but at least it is what feels right.