UGH! This Teacher!

There has been something about Eric's teacher that has bothered me for quite some time. The problem is she doesn't seem to know how to tell the truth, and she is really good at cutting me down and making me feel like I don't do enough for my child. (Didn't I get divorced from someone who treated me that way?)
At parent/teacher conferences she acts like there are no problems at all, and then a few weeks later asks to meet with me to discuss the fact that Eric has many missing assignments that were supposed to be done in class. I have had a few before or after school meetings with her (mostly after school because she flags me down as I am picking up my kids on my days off). The solution has always been that I need to bring him in early (which is hard to do because that means getting all of my kids ready a half hour early) or for him to stay late (which she has actually only done once or twice).
Last October, he was sent home with a stack of papers so large that needed to be finished that I could see how he may be overwhelmed. Heck, I was more than overwhelmed just looking at it and trying to figure out how I was going to get him through all of it. I did his homework packet with him and a few more worksheets each night.
Back in November she had the nerve to tell me that she understood I was going to school for myself but I needed to think of my kids right now. At the time, I was in training and having to work a very late shift for that training class, depend on my ex-husband and boyfriend (now my husband) and a few wonderful friends for childcare, live on very little sleep to make sure that my kids still got to school on time everyday, and try to fit in time to do school work (I got F's in both classes that term). Eric has rarely had problems getting his actual home work done, but his classwork has been a different story.  When his dad started helping with nighttime childcare, I made sure that Eric had what I felt to be a reasonable amount of worksheets to do in his backpack everyday.
At the end of the first semester, Eric made the honor roll. Instead of praising him for the effort he did put in, his teacher pulled him aside and told him that if he had actually tried, he would have made the Superintendent's list (that in and of itself caused problems this semester). By this time, I was working my regular shift. (I don't like the shift because it is a closing shift, but that is not the point to this rant.) I now had a bit more time with my kids. I get up with them in the morning, get them ready, and take them to school. I get home at about 8:30 which gives me about a half hour to do homework with them, get them ready for bed, and read to them before they go to sleep (see why I don't like the shift). I have about an hour and a half to two hours with my kids most days (it kills my heart, and hopefully will change soon).
The teacher started sending home five to ten pages of worksheets on top of the two that have to be done for homework each night. My babysitter won't do homework with the kids. My husband does his best. That really leaves me to get all of that done with him and make sure the before school or bed routines are done and make sure the other kids don't feel neglected in the process. Eric is a smart kid. When he knows his stuff and feels motivated, he can get it done quickly, but not that quickly. If the motivation isn't there, forget about getting anything done.
About two weeks ago, Eric's teacher flagged me down after school, like she has done several times before. She said that Eric has not been turning in anything that she has been sending home. I explained that we have been getting an additional two or three papers done each night to go with his homework pack. She pointed out that he had one past due homework pack (it had one or two pages not completed and it was already determined that he was behind on it because I was told that he didn't have one for a few weeks which was not really true). Then she jumped all over me about the one that was due that Friday (it was a Tuesday and he had the Monday night work done already) saying that not enough had been done in it yet. She pulled two papers out of his backpack that had not been completed that day in class and said something to the effect of me not making sure it would be done for another month (yes, I said IN CLASS). I looked and her and said that I was confused as to how she expected me to get him to do the work in my two hours a day I had with him if she, a professional, couldn't get him to do it in the seven hours she had him. She then turned the to a place that it should have not gone. She asked me if I would consider retention. I immediately told her know. He is too smart, doesn't need it, and would be bored out of his mind if he had to stay in the forth grade. She said that she didn't feel that he was mature enough to continue on and that he would struggle even more next year with getting his assignments turned in on time. I completely agree that he is a bit immature for his age, but I don't think at this stage in the game it is a reason to retain my child. She also said he just wasn't organized enough an asked is there were problems at home. Well, of course there are some problems at home for him. He is a ten year old little boy whose parents were divorced last year, and this year his mom got married to someone else. It is difficult for any kid. Heck, it was hard for me and I was older than he is. She suggested maybe he needed to be medicated. Um...NO! She told me that two or three worksheets per night were not enough and that she was going to send home at least seven per night that she expected to be done the next day and asked if it was ok for Eric to stay after school on Mondays for about a half hour. The babysitter said that she didn't mind so I said that was fine.
About a week later a friend was watching the kids for me and her son helped Eric complete about TEN pages of homework which was only half of it. That was the day that Eric's dad started his concern about Eric getting his work done. I talked to him an told him what was going on. We agreed that I would call and make an appointment with the principal. My next week day off was today, so we scheduled it for this morning at 9:35.
The meeting was mostly about how to get Eric to show that he knows his stuff without making him do all of the worksheets since his test scores are showing that he knows what he is doing. The thing is that we are so close to the end of the school year that there are only a few days even left of classwork before the grades get turned in. The teacher kind of agreed to back off on the worksheets. The principal and I also decided that we will have a meeting a the beginning of next school year with whatever teach he has to make sure she understands that Eric needs other ways to show he knows what he is doing without all of the busy work that he refuses to do anyway. When the principal asked if I felt that my concerns were address I explained that I didn't feel the threats of retention were addressed. He explained that if retention was a consideration, we would have started talking about it in December, not now. I explained how she had talked to me. She denied it. She said that she was sorry if that was the impression that I or Eric got from recent conversations. I again went over the basics of the conversation, and said that I am concerned if she is talking to me that way how is she talking to my kid. I don't want him in forth grade to think that he is a failure and not accomplishing anything. I don't feel that is the a good foundation for the future. I want him to be more successful in life than I have been. I don't want him to drop out of school or wait until his is in his 30's to go to college. I have tried very hard to make sure that he knows he is extremely smart for his age for as long as I can remember. All she could do was say she was sorry about the impression that she gave me and lie about the rest. Over all I think I got somewhere with the principal but no where with the lying teacher.
 I will continue doing what I am doing as a mom. I do my best. I work so they can have food and clothes and be able to go to the doctor when they are sick. I read a chapter of a book to them every night that I have them. I snuggle them when they are feeling lonely or sad. I wash their scraps and give them ice for their bumps. I make their lunches almost every morning. I put together a dinner for my husband to make them when I can. I am a mom. I live for my kids, and refuse to let ANYONE make me feel otherwise!