The Transformer

As I looked though Facebook this last few weeks, I saw many pictures of friends and family members making Halloween costumes for their kids. In the end, you could always tell what they had made (the nerve of these crafty women). I was SO jealous. I wanted to be the mom that desired to make my kids' Halloween costumes. In reality, I would rather buy my kids' costumes which is a good thing because I don't have the time or patience to make costumes.
I tried making a cardboard Transformer costume for my oldest that had working parts this year because that was what he had his little heart set on. We had about 2 weeks from the time he decided on this costume to Halloween. The frustration level as we got closer to Halloween was intense! We finished it the morning of Halloween after the bus has already left. He was happy with the result. (The cute kids in the costumes from Amazon. They were happy, too.)

I loaded him into the car, and took him to school where said costume disintegrated. I am not going through that again! It was not fun!

He went trick-or-treating in a ski mask, black pants, and a black shirt and called himself a bugler. He was happy with the result of both costumes. He impressed his friends at school and went trick-or-treating his last time in a more comfortable costume.
For the moms who enjoy this kind of thing, more power to you. Keep doing your thing. I will be buying my kids' costumes or crafting them out of clothes they can wear on a daily basis when we are done from this point on. I'm just THAT mom.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

About a year before my mom died, she excitedly told me that President Hinckley had read a proclamation in the Relief Society broadcast. She was so excited that this had been introduced to the women of the church first. Little did we know at that time how important it would be as the years went by. At the time of her death, it was still a new thing that was being read here and there if someone found a copy of it. 

In a short time, we were given pamphlets that had this important proclamation printed in it in our church meetings, members were buying nicer copies and framing and hanging them in there households, and parts of it were being quoted in talks about families and parental responsibilities. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (a.k.a. Mormons), this one page document became an integral part of our doctrine.
When my ex-husband decided to leave the Church, I started struggling with this simple doctrine. I felt like it was telling me there was little hope for me and my family. When the marriage was ended, it felt like I was doomed. Even after I married a wonderful man who could help me realize the true blessings of marriage, I still struggled with this simple document.
In August, during a Family Home Evening lesson taught by the missionaries, my eyes were open to the beauty of this proclamation. We read this in its entirety. I am not sure I had done that in the past(if I had it had been a part of a Sunday School or Relief Society lesson where there were many distractions).
As the missionaries, Chad, and I read paragraph by paragraph, I really paid attention. We got to the second to last paragraph:
    We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disinigration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
All of a sudden, I felt a release. I felt like this paragraph was telling me that the decision to file for divorce was the right decision for my family.
This simple small paragraph gave me permission to do as I knew in my heart I needed to do for my family without the permission of the kids' dad. I no longer had to feel guilty for bringing my wonderful husband into our family. He is the husband and father figure this family needs. He is the male role model my kids need. 

Associates Degree? Yes, please!

I finally got it! I finished classes in July, and a few days ago this was delivered by UPS:

I went trough a lot in the process of earning this degree. It took me 5 years to complete. In that 5 years I faced a lot of trials and triumphs. This degree is physical proof that I can overcome what is put before me. There are people who encouraged me and kept me going, of course. Without them, I would have given up. My sister was my cheerleader from the day I told her I signed up for classes and even gave me a place to study  on the lonely weekends after my divorce when I needed it. My friends, Melissa and Suzi, continually told me I was smart enough (the words I REALLY needed to hear prior to and during my divorce). My wonderful husband encouraged me and supported even before we started dating to continue working even though I didn't think I had it in me. He was there for me when I was kicked out due to my grades, and when I decided I would fight to get back in and finish. He was there for me when it was getting late on Saturday nights (the nights my assignments were due) to remind me that I was good enough and deserved to finish. Many times he told me that I was too good to give up. I frustrated him, he frustrated me, but he never let me quit. 

Birthday Week for My Boy

Chad will be working out of town for most of the week. This means he will be getting home late on Sean's birthday (Thursday). Since Chad was so excited to see Sean's face when he opened his presents, we let him open the gift we got him as well as the gifts Chad's parents and brother gave him today. Later this week, we will take him out for his birthday lunch/dinner and he gets to pick our family activity for the weekend. (We only get them one or two weekends out of the month, so we try to make them count.)

Always Changing

There have been a lot of changes in my family in the past few months. I started a new job, Sean attended he last year of Cub Scout Day Camp, and Chad was ordained an Elder in June. I turned 36 (yes, I am being honest about my age), Eric went to Boy Scout Camp for the first time, and we went on a family trip in July. The kids started their first day of 7th, 5th, and 3rd grade in August. As always, there will continue to be changes in this family we just don't always know what they will be.
The job change was a necessary thing. I was working at Convergys and becoming more miserable every day, and the kids were not doing behaving well being at home alone all day once summer began. After speaking to my manager about the signs that the site was going to be closing, I decided that I was being lead in a different direction. I applied at several positions, prayed to find the right job to fit our family's needs, and was hired within a week and a half of applying at Network Global Logistics as a dispatcher. I now work the graveyard shift so that I can be home for my kids, and I feel like my work is actually making a difference in people's lives.
Seeing my sweet boy attend his last year of day camp was bittersweet. He had a lot of fun, and I got to be a part of that for a day. However, this does mean that my sweet little boy is growing up WAY too fast.
When Chad and I were married two and a half years ago it was with the understanding that he was "never" going to be the priesthood holder that most Latter Day Saint women desire to marry. Because of my experiences with my ex-husband, I didn't want that either. Someone else had different plans for us. It is nice to have such a loving, caring man in my life who is teaching me by the example that he sets for the entire family.
Turning 36 was hard. It meant I had been here on Earth just as long without my mom and brother as I was with them. I got through it, though. My husband, kids, and friends are amazing! The gospel is amazing! I would have been miserable on my birthday if I didn't have so many blessings in my life.
Eric survived his first full week (Monday through Friday) without his family. When he returned home on Saturday, we held each other and cried tears of joy. (I imagine it will be this way when I am reunited with my mom and brother someday.) He had a lot of fun and learned may things. He has a great scout leader that helped him get through being homesick and a best friend that was by is side for most of the time they spent there.
We went camping and fishing for the weekend as a family at the end of July. We had so much fun that we plan to do it again at least once next year (hopefully without the heavy wind).
Back to School Night came with the reality that my baby is now going to the big kids' hall at school. Somehow it is easier to have the oldest in middle school and the middle one in his last year of elementary. As I walked with the littlest of my clan across the hall from the middle one, tears welled up in my eyes. How can she be big enough for this already?
I love my family. I am glad that we get to grow and change together. Some changes are planned. Some are not as planned. Planned or not planned, we have been blessed in many ways.

me had a hamster once.

This is my hamster, Lucy.(lu-SEE)She passed away today. And by the way, this is Sean. She was soft, fluffy, and so CUTE! She was the best of all three of my hamsters. I also found a couple weird al songs. here is our favorite.

FUNNY STUFF!

Half of My Life

I have come to the realization that this year, as I am getting ready to turn 36, I will have lived just as long on this earth without my mom and brother as I did with them. It hurts. It hurts physically. It hurts mentally. It hurts more than any other birthday since the car accident that took them from me.

An Answer to Prayer

Those that truly know me know that I have struggled with my testimony for about five or six years. What you may not know is that I have never completely stopped praying. I haven't made any real big decisions without praying about it first. That includes filing for divorce in 2011 and getting married in 2012.

For those who know my family, you know that I have problems with getting my oldest son to want to do well in school. (He is smart enough. He just doesn't want to put it on paper to prove it.)

Now to tie these things together...

At the end of March, I was at my whits end with my child. I was frustrated that he wasn't applying himself in school. I was frustrated that he never brought anything home. I was frustrated that I had to hear from a friend that my son and her son were not doing well at all in school instead of from the teachers. When my son told me that his class rotation had been changed so that he was no longer in classes with his best friend, my friend's son, it angered me that the change was made without me even knowing it was needed. I called the principal and a meeting was made with her and all of his core teachers.

I left two hours early to assure I would get to the school on time, giving me an hour to get there. Not only did I get there on time, I was half an hour early. Since the school is not near any business and I didn't want to be the creepy lady sitting in front of the middle school for a half hour before the bell rang, I took the drive down to the nearest truck stop to get gas and use the rest room.

On the way down, I turned off the radio, and  I started praying. I prayed harder than I ever have in my life. I poured  my heart out. I didn't have an agenda. I just needed help.

Even though I don't think I got the resolution I was looking for at the school, I did get an answer to my prayers. About a week later, the sister missionaries started teaching our family. As a family, we have done our best to meet their challenges. Through these challenges, we have grown closer as a family and closer to the gospel.

I know that prayers are answered. Through this experience, I also know that our Heavenly Father wants to help us. He is waiting for us to humble ourselves and ask.

Trying Something New

I have been battling my kids' sense of entitlement more and more as they get older. I know this is my fault. I have tried to give them what I can. I have used electronics as babysitters. I have let them get away with more than I am willing to admit. There are several reason (excuses) I have done this such as:

• I just wanted them to be happy.
• I didn't think the rules could be enforced until I got home from work.
• I didn't give them a smart phone, TV in their rooms, the most updated tablet, or (for the boys) even their own room like some of their friends (this one was just me justifying the decisions I have made).
• It was just plain easier to give in!

The result of me being too permissive has been for the most part not in my favor. I struggle to get the house clean and am embarrassed when people stop by unannounced. The kids were getting more and more disrespectful. The more time the kids spent with electronic entertainment, the more they begged to spend time with me or to play with their toys/friends. The electric bill was the highest I have ever seen it (including when the fans and swamp cooler were running in the summer). The oldest one's grade were in the toilet. NO ONE WAS TRULY HAPPY!

Since November we have been trying to come up with ideas to make the kids more account able and cut out what we call "flashy screen time" little by little while earning some of the things they take for granted (like computer time) and gets me more involved with them as well. 

The first thing that we did was create a reward system that would speak to my kids specifically. We had tried using jars in the past for rewards (you know fill the jar then you get something). It just took too long to fill the jar. While talking to my brother-in-law in Thanksgiving about the jars, he suggested some kind of way for the kids to earn smaller things as they go. I got a a tape measure and make eight equally spaced marks on the jars calling each one a level. Then, I sat down with the kids and they decided what the rewards would be for each "level." The ultimate goal was going to a movie. Next, I explained to them how they would earn these rewards: each time they did homework, a chore, were good during family prayer, stayed in their bed without playing/talking to their sibling, or were caught doing something good that they weren't asked to do, they would get a rock in the jar (small decorative fish rocks). By the end of February, they all earned a trip to a movie (we saw the Lego Movie). The kids decided they liked this reward system, so we dumped out the rocks and started over with new rewards that they got to chose. I would have to say, it has been working better than I thought it would. 

The next step came after catching my oldest walking out of a class at church playing on his tablet (which he has pointed out doesn't have a camera or microphone on it and is not as good as this friend's or that friend's tablet). He no longer gets to have the tablet in his possession after I pick him up from his weekend with his dad on Sunday mornings. There is also a no video game or You Tube rule on Sunday. (We tried no "flashy screen" rule on Sundays, but it just wasn't realistic at this time.)

To help my oldest with is his grade issues, I no longer let him bring his tablet or phone to school. I would like to say his grade are improving, but I don't think enough time has passed to tell (it has only been about three weeks).

Most recently, after seeing the damage to my desk, I completely took away computer privileges for a little while, and then put in place a way for them to earn computer time. They have the opportunity to to earn computer time through chores. One "big chore" (ex. cleaning the bath tub or doing a load of laundry) earns them an hour on the computer. During spring break, this worked great. It is a bit more difficult now that they only have about 2 hours after school before the flashy screens are turned off and there are three kids, but we are still working out the kinks.

I can feel this house becoming more of a home, and I am hoping that we keep making progress in our home.

Cheering for Our Team

We watch the Super Bowl last night. Our team was playing. We were ready for them to win. Well, we were a bit disappointed, but we were ready.

The kids even made a banner.

Hot Spot Fail

I failed at getting all of my hot spots clean this last week, so I have to do them this week. I can do it! Here are some pictures of what they look like right now:

See what I mean. MESSY!

Hot Spot Challenge Week Two - Done!

I am happy to say that I have successfully completed week two of the hot spot challenge. The only things left on my computer desk and kitchen island are the things that belong there. This was harder than last week of course, but I can say that my island was clean enough yesterday for my son to take a small hammer to each piece of cereal that he spilled yesterday morning. 

The embarrassing part of all of this is that I still have more hot spots in my house. Up next, my piano including the floor underneath it. (Is it just me or is this getting to be fun, Melissa?)

I'M AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM AWESOME! I can't see exactly why nobody likes me, (cause I'm awesome) but I'M AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JASPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By Sean

This is Jasper. I mean, a pic of Jasper.(AKA, Jaspie)           HE'S CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You just CAN'T tell me he isn't.

Pinewood Derby 2014

This is our last year of Pinewood Derby since my younger boy will be 11 this year. We had fun making a tank for his car this year, and he won most unique.

We all dressed in camouflage in support of this awesome camouflage tank.

As we left the house, Sean announced his goal was to win at least one race. After adding some weights donated by one of the dads, he  won two!

In the end, we had a lot of fun! I will miss Pinewood Derby next year (maybe).

Next Hot Spot Challenge

This week I will be cleaning up my desk and keeping the island clean. Are you ready for my desk before picture? I'm sure not, but here it is:

Lovely!

First Hot Spot Challenge Complete

Other than the things that are supposed to be on my island, it is completely clean. I don't even have a single crumb on it. It hasn't looked this nice since Thanksgiving! If I keep this up, I may have a clean house soon...

Hot Spot Challenge

My friend and I have a friendly challenge. We each have to clean one hot spot this week and keep it clean once it is clean. Here is the before picture of my kitchen island:

I will post my after picture next Sunday.

2013 In Review

Eric and Sean won first and second prize in the science fair at their school.

Eric participated in his last Pinewood Derby as a Cub Scout.

Sean had fun making participating in his second Pinewood Derby.

 

Eric earned his Arrow of Light and crossed over to Boy Scouts.

Carrie, Marleah, and I were finally together again.

Noel had her first trip to the ER.

Eric and Sean got glasses.

Eric went to Outdoor Ed for his 5th grade trip.

I finally got flowers for Mother's Day! (I love my husband!)

Sean was accepted into SAGE (the program for kids who are advanced in reading and math).

Chad and I finished our first 5K.

Eric started 6th grade in a new school (Weld Central Middle School).

Noel started 2nd grade, and Sean started 4th grade. (Sean wasn't as excited as the others.)

We visited the Lego exhibit at the Longmont Museum and Cultural Center.

My sweet grandmother, Ila Mitchell, passed away.

I went to Michigan for her funeral and to visit with the family.

Noel was baptized by her grandpa. 

(I did my first big sewing project since I made my wedding dress.)

The kids had a great Christmas!

WE HAD A GREAT YEAR!