Education Journey

I’m a senior in college. That is a sentence I would not have even imagined I would have said 15 to 20 years ago. I wanted to go back to school so badly. I had only planned to take a year or two off when I decided not to go right after high school, but life and circumstances changed. Before I knew it, I was married with three kids, and that husband was completely against me furthering my education. The thing is, the desire to grow as a person did not go away.

After each child was born, I felt a greater desire to be better in so many ways. By the time my third baby was five months old, I was starting to wonder where the girl who loved to learn went. I loved my children (and still do). I wanted them to have a better life than we were providing them, and I was starting to realize that would not happen at the rate we were going. He was working a job that we were barely scraping by on, and I was a stay-at-home mom who wasn’t even allowed to work.

One night, after going to bed, I gave him an ultimatum; either he needed to go to school or I would. I honestly thought he would let me go because he hated school and hadn’t even finished high school. That was not how it happened. He ended up going to community college. It was not what I expected, but I cheered him on as he embarked on the journey with the expectation that he would at minimum have an associate degree in the end. The goal was to better the family, right? 

About a year and a half later, I sat in a woman’s conference a had a strong feeling that I needed to go back to school while listening to President Monson speak. (I think this will always be my favorite talk because it is my inspiration to further my education.) That night, I went home and prayed about it. I even thought I knew what program would work best with the responsibilities I had at home. Then, I approached the husband with my plan. I was told I couldn’t do it. After all, who would take care of the kids while I was in school? Plus, I would obviously cheat on him if I did. (Maybe, a bit of a confession on his part…)

A few years later, I found myself needing to get a job to help support my family, and a year and a half after that, I was a single mother just trying to survive. At this point, I was enrolled in online classes, but I resented the man who told me I couldn’t go previously and had made it difficult once I did so anyway. I felt as though if he had allowed it instead of him going or even once I started begging in 2007, I would have been in a better position to fulfill the financial obligations of being the sole provider for my children.

Fast forward a few more years. I am now married to an amazing man who wants me to fulfill my dreams. I finished the degree I was working on during my divorce and thought I would try to find a way to use it. I mean, it was a degree in business management, a quite versatile degree. The government blocked that plan when many for profit schools were closed down without notice and our transcripts were destroyed leaving us in debt with a piece of paper no longer worth the thousands of dollars we still have to pay in the form of student loans. This was frustrating and left me feeling defeated once again, but once again I dusted myself off and rose to the challenge. After having the accreditation stripped from the school I received my associates degree from, my husband and I both had the strong impression that I should attend the Pathways program through BYU-I and pursue a bachelors degree. Which brings me to where I am today. 

Here I am. A senior in college. It has taken many years to get here, and I still have almost two years to go as a part-time student, but I am doing it. I am accomplishing my dream! I will be able to say I finished!