Things Change

People have been reading my old blog entries for a while. When I see what is being read, I get curious and read some of them as well. Sometimes, they make me cringe. Sometimes, I want to tell my younger self that it gets better. Someone, I just want to shake her and tell her to wake up. There are also times when I am so happy that I recorded the cute things my kids were doing. 

Today, I read the blog entry that brought Chad and I together. It is full of worrying about being good enough. It has a paragraph that clearly describes the gaslighting I endured in my first marriage where I seemed to be more worried about him cheating. (Why would I want to shake my former self again?) I was also worried about my kids and how they were reacting the changes we were going through. 

Another thing that stood out to me was that I didn’t really know who I was as a person. (Could that be because of what I had been put through in the previous 10ish years?) I am happy to say that I now know who I am. I am a daughter of God! I no longer act one way at church, one way at home, and another with my friends. There is not a single person I spend time with that doesn’t know of my love and devotion to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. It is amazing how being married to a man that encourages me to be myself can be. I love him for all that he is. 

Do I still struggle in life sometimes? Absolutely! The difference is that I have Chad and I have my faith and I know who I am. I can’t wait to find out what more I can do with this wonderful life!