Thursday, July 25, 2024

Feeling Melancholy

I have been overcome with melancholy for the last few days. Mortality is kicking me in the face. Having a sweet person from my past pass away plus finding out my cousin needs a heart transplant within a few days sucks. I'm trying to let myself feel and pull myself out of it at the same time. 

If I let myself feel too much, I will go into a spiral that is hard to pull out of. I will think of all of the ways I have failed at life. I will think of friends and family members who have passed away. I will think of the ways my life has been hard. I can't let myself veer too far into this. 

To try to pull out of it, I have pulled a few things out of my arsenal. I am reading books that give me hope. I have watched sitcoms. I took a walk. I make sure I'm taking my supplements. I'm sure there is more I can do. I just need to figure it out. 

I only have 4 days until I leave on vacation. I need to feel better by then. 

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