Thinking About Her

A few days ago, I was out with some friends when one mentioned that she would be 65 later this year. That got me thinking. My mom's birthday is Monday. She would be turning 60 this year. I wonder what she would she would be like had she lived this long. Would she be close enough to have sleep overs with my kids? Would she and I have a close relationship? Would she have given me the emotional support I needed during my divorce? Would she have been there for me when I had my kids? What kind of grandma would she be?

Sean's Resolutions

Phone Call From My Kids

                                    
My kids go to their dad's the first 3 weekends of the month. They often complain that they didn't really do anything on Saturday and were bored. Since my oldest has a cell phone, I remind them that it is perfectly ok to call me since I rarely work on Saturdays anymore.
Yesterday, the oldest child decided to do just that. I had a great conversation with him about the books that he likes to read and the dinner that they had with their dad the night before. (Did you know Macaroni Grill has pepperoni bigger pepperoni on their pizza than Subway has on their sandwiches?) After about 30 minutes of talking to my oldest child, the other kids realized who he was talking to and wanted to talk, too. I, then, was able to talk to them for a while about what they had been doing that morning and the books they enjoyed reading and other things that they wanted to talk about.
By the time I got off the phone, I had been on the phone for about 45 minutes, but it didn't feel like more than 5 or 10 minutes. I am so glad that my oldest decided to call me and the others wanted to talk to me as well. It is amazing how those sweet children can brighten a day where I was sucked in by current events. I am truly blessed to be their mom.

Christmas Books

To bring the spirit of Christmas into my home this year, I am using my story time with the kids to read Christmas stories. So far I have read one chapter book (a chapter per night) and two other stories. The chapter book we read was AWESOME! The final chapter had me teary eyed and brought a beautiful spirit into the home. This book was The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. We got it as a family gift years ago, but I had never read it completely. I saw the movie years ago, but didn't really remember it other than the goofy stuff in it. I am so glad that I found it while cleaning and decided to share it with my kids. I hope to be able to find more books that can bring the same spirit through out the month.

An Early Christmas

I have to share my kids. It is not the best or most fun way to live, but it is the reality of no longer being married to my kids' father. This year is his turn to have the kids on Christmas. A reality that...well...sucks. I told the kids that they were getting to spend Thanksgiving at home this year because they were going to be with Daddy for Christmas quite a while ago.
Last weekend the reality of them not being here on Christmas day hit me and made me start thinking of ways to still make the season special as well as trying to figure out when we were going to be able to celebrate Christmas (working in the service industry means that I have to work Christmas Eve). After talking it over with my husband, we agreed that December 23rd would work best. It is a Sunday meaning neither of us has to work, and we will be going to church and being filled with Christmas messages (a great way to remind the kids what Christmas is really about).
I explained this to the kids a few nights ago and suggested that Eric write a letter to Santa to request that he make one exception this year and stop by 2 nights early. My poor sweet Eric had tear welling up in his eyes. He was fine with writing the letter and even left room for his brother and sister to sign. As I looked it over and told him what a great job he did, he started crying. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that he didn't want to go anywhere for Christmas. He just wanted to be home. This melted my heart. I looked into my sweet 10-year-old's face and told him that could understand that, but his daddy loves him too and it is his turn. I don't know if it really made him feel any better. It is moments like that thought that I just want to say, "Then you can stay home if that is what you want." I can't. I have to share. Being a grown-up is hard sometimes.

Proud Mama Moments

This was in Sean's Friday Folder this last week. He did a great job!

Noel excitedly shared this with me today. Now I have proof that she knows how to read (she tries to convince me otherwise).

Eric brought these home in his Friday Folder.

Martin's Cove Trip

For Labor Day, we decided to take a day trip up to Martin's Cove. (FYI it is not really "day trip" distance. I would suggest planning to spend at least one night up there to get anything out of it.) We also decided to stop at a couple other little historical stops on the way. We all had a lot of fun!

Our first stop was the Lincoln Highway Monument. It was at the Welcome Center as we were driving into Wyoming. Eric read all of the signs (of course). He even read the displays in the Welcome Center. It was a nice little stop (and it had some of the cleanest bathrooms for the whole trip). It was definitely a good place to get out and stretch. 

If you look really close, the kids are in this picture.

We traveled for a ways longer and longer and...well...we took an unintentional 2 hour detour. (Did you know there is more than one HWY 287 in Wyoming?) We did get back on track and stopped at our next stop, Fort Steele. It is just a little place just off of the highway and almost in ruins. The kids liked it, and there were signs that pointed to where things used to be and were the stuff that were still standing were. Again, Eric read every sign and really took in the information.

Then we went on to Martin's Cove. It was great! We pulled and rode in hand carts. Then we went through the visitors center and learned about pioneer life, followed by going through the museum buildings to learn more about the Mormon pioneers as well as the Sun family that owned the ranch the museum was now at. 

The last historical stop was at Fort Casper. We got there 20 minutes after it closed so we couldn't go into the museum, but we did get some pictures from the parking lot and played on the playground before our journey home. 

Does anyone know what this is? We didn't, but Sean took a lot of pictures of it.

We all had a great time. The kids are already talking about what they want to do when we go next year!

The Secret's Out

I am going to preface this by saying: if you want to comment, I don't want advise on how to solve the problem. I am just frustrated.

I potty trained all of my kids when they were about 2 and a half. That means that for the oldest it has been about 8 years, the middle about six, and the youngest about 4. One would think that by now they would all be over having "accidents." That one would be thinking wrong. I have only one child that seems to have mastered the concept of using the toilet every time they need to go. That would be my middle child. The one that most people think would act out the most to get attention. (He does have his moments, but not in this area thank goodness.)
My oldest is in 5th grade. He doesn't have any mental disorders. He is extremely smart. He had an "accident" so bad at school today that they had to not only give him pants to wear, but a shirt as well. Somehow it doesn't bother him or embarrass him to pee in his pants at school. In fact, school is the only place that he does this. I make him do a load of laundry each time. That doesn't seem to help (the darn kid likes doing laundry). Today is the beginning of the second week of school, and it is the second day my kid has needed a change of clothes. Last week they called me and asked me to bring him clothes. I got irritated and once again (like I have been doing the last few years when the same person has called me to bring him clothes) told the them that I have to be at work. I can't just drop everything to bring this child who more than knows better a change of clothes. I offered to send clothes for him to drop off at the nurses office like they suggested in years past. This time they didn't think it was a good idea. My next step is to do what this child thinks is incredibly embarrassing and send him to school every day with a plastic bag of clothes to change into "just in case" for him to carry in his backpack every day for a month. If he has to use them the month starts all over. I am at my whits end with this. He doesn't have this problem at home. The school always suggests I get him tested for bladder problems. I really don't think that is it. If that was it wouldn't he have the problem over the summer. He didn't have one single "accident" all summer that I know of. Not when he was with me or the babysitter anyway.
 My youngest child lately thinks that not only is it ok to "just go a little" in her pants, she doesn't seem to understand that by continuing to wear the pants, she can get infections. I wish that was the worst of it. Last week, while in the shower, she went number two, left the shower on, and when I went in to ready the shower for her brother, she said it was the dog. Strange how it wasn't there when she got it, the door was closed while she was in and as soon as she got out, and there was a stinky pile of yuck that definitely didn't smell like the dogs' messes in there the next time I opened the door. I had to turn off the shower, quickly clean it, and try to think of some kind of discipline for something I never thought a child would do. She did a load of laundry (I was too taken back to think of anything else).
Tonight, when my oldest went to brush his teeth, my oldest found a human surprise on the bathroom floor. REALLY? How can someone get that close and just go on the floor instead of the potty. I tried to get the culprit to clean it up, but she wouldn't admit to it. (Apparently, she not only has a bathroom problem, she has a truth telling problem.) Since it was a bit past bed time, I just cleaned it up myself this time. UGH!
My solution for now it to have the two that don't know how to use the bathroom do yet one more load of laundry each tomorrow and assist each other in cleaning this room that one doesn't seem to know how to find and the other doesn't seem to know where to go in it.
I keep trying to remind myself that they are just children and it is my job to teach them how to be successful. I can say I am doing a good job in most areas. I just need to get this thing nipped in the bud before go insane!

Things I Never Thought I Would Say

"Yes, Eric, you can make your bed instead of playing if you want."

"Have fun organizing your dresser, Princess."

I think aliens have taken the place of two of my children...

Tomatoes

We have a tomato plant in the front yard that is getting quite big. It has yet to produce any tomatoes, but there are a lot of flowers on it. Yesterday, when getting out of the car, Noel says, "Hey, Mom! Look! We have LOTS of tomatoes on this plant!" I asked her where because I wasn't seeing what she was seeing. She points to a group of flowers and says, "Right there. At least they will be..."

Moving Things Around

I have decided to move things around a bit. I realized that my blog that started off to be about my family life was getting to be more and more about my struggle with goals (mostly weight loss). I have decided to split it up a bit. I will now have a blog for my family journal and one for my personal goals. I am really hoping that this will help motivate me to achieve my goals. Come see Druciana's YoYo when you get the chance!

Olympics With the Kids

I am so happy that I can watch the Olympics with the kids this summer. The boys love the swimming. Noel loves gymnastics. I like both (works well for me). I swell with pride as I hear my children chant, "USA, USA, USA, USA," as I am making dinner in the next room. I find it fun that my daughter doesn't really care what team "the girl with the eyeshadow" is on, she just cares that she is wearing make up. I like being able to talk to Eric about his memories of watching 4 years ago. It is fun to remember my brother, sister, and I watching as kids and trying to reenact what we were watching all over the family room. Heck. I just love the Olympics!

Being Myself

I admire people who are completely comfortable being themselves no matter what. I am good with being myself at home. My husband is my best friend. He knows more of my secrets than anyone. I can be myself with my sister and my really close friends. However, it has gotten to a point on facebook that I am not sure I can be myself. I have about 200 "friends" on facebook. I enjoy keeping my contacts with people from the past. I am glad I have a way to keep in touch with people I have worked with recently (for the most part). I am so worried about offending people that I barely know that I don't think I can voice my opinion on there. So here we go. If you decide that my views are offensive. If you take me off of your friends list on facebook. So be it. I need a place to be me. I have already removed some, and depending on who you are may not even notice if you get rid of me.
Here gos nothing:
I am a Mormon. I believe in the teachings that I have been taught though out my life. I take my kids to church every Sunday.I believe that by taking my children to church and teaching them about God and Jesus Christ. I get offended when people speak ill of my religion. If I didn't believe in the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I would not still be going.
I don't believe in gay marriage. I am not completely anti-homosexual, I just believe that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. I don't believe in ostracizing anyone who feels differently than I. Everyone is meant to be happy and is entitled to their own opinions. I have personal reasons my vies that I will not share in a public venue.
I am completely monogamous. I have know the pain of being cheated on. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy. When I hear people that are in committed relationship talk about the people they have on the side and how they are hiding it from the person they supposedly love, it sickens me. If it would just kill you for them to leave, do betray them in the worst way possible.
My kids are my world. I would do anything for them. I do have to work to try to support them. That does not mean that I don't love my kids. If I had the option, I would stay home with them. I just don't have that option right now.
As someone who has lived as a single parent for a little while, I respect people who have to raise their children alone. Luckily, I still had my kids' dad in their lives. I also had a great support system (I have the best sister and friends a girl could ask for). I couldn't imagine doing it completely by myself.
I have been divorced. Sometimes it is the right decision. I didn't marry my first husband to get divorced. I didn't just give up when it got a bit tough. It was not the easy way out by any means. It was a decision that affected many people. The purpose of the divorce was not to harm others, it was to try to stop a bad situation from becoming worse.
I am not against guns. I really don't think about them much. You won't catch me protesting either way.
I know bad things happen. I believe that the world is a scarier place than it was when I was a kids. I try to protect my kids as much as possible.However,  I don't want to live my life in fear. I live in a small, safe town. I want my kids to feel safe. I will let them play outside without telling them a bunch of scary stories about kids that have been kidnapped or killed.
I am a hard worker. I am finally being recognized for my efforts at my job. I will not apologize for being picked to do a project based on my skills and stats. I will not apologize for taking vacation time that I have earned. I will continue to work hard. I would like to be able to socialize at work, but if people are going to hate me and not talk to me because I have earned a few (very few) privileges, they can go ahead and do so.
I am lucky to be married to a man who truly loves me and my children. He listens to my craziness. He lets me cry when I am overwhelmed with life. He values my opinion. I used to wish to have the kind of marriage that my friends had where I would feel valued as a person. I finally have that. I really do love that man!

Tuesday

Imagine this...You are running a little late for work. The kids are now, finally, loaded in the car. You are still telling them not to touch each other  or speak to each other if they can't be nice. You put the car into reverse to get out of the driveway. You need to stop the car to put it into drive and it doesn't stop. You think, "I know the breaks have been a bit soft lately, but this is crazy. Maybe since I am wearing heals, I am just not pushing the break right." You go on to the first stop sign and realize it is not your heals, you are not stopping here either.

This is exactly what happened to me two days ago. Luckily I live in a small town and no one is taking there kids to school to make the street busy. I was able to safely go around the block, get back home, and put the car into park to stop the car on the driveway (yes, I know this is bad for the transmission, but I had 3 kids in the car and needed to stop it). I made the the kids get into my husband's car and asked him to take the kids to the sitter so that I could get the car figured out. I made some calls, moved around as much money as I could, and arranged for a tow truck to pick me up (I figured that I shouldn't drive until I could safely stop). Then, I decided that since I mooched off of so many people while I was single, I would just walk home. Besides, it was only about a 10 minute drive. It couldn't be that bad of a walk, right? Wrong. I learned that a 4 mile drive may only be 10 minutes, but a 4 mile walk takes me about 2 hours. To make matters worse, I live in a very small town. Most of my walk was on a road that has practically nothing on it. The only business between home and the shop we took the car is Family Dollar. On a day that topped out at 97, that is not great. I was so thirsty. I stopped at Family Dollar to just get a drink. I ended up getting some jelly beans as well. As I crossed a small bridge where there was no where else to walk other than in the road, I walked as far over as I could . A little old lady driving an SUV called me an idiot as she passed by. I can just about guarantee that if I just randomly decided to go for a candy/soda run, I would have gone to the Shell station where I could walk on sidewalks. 

This is how I ended my vacation from work. I of course had to call in since I live in the boondocks, there is no mass transit.

We Thought It Was Funny

Chad and I went on our honeymoon this weekend thanks to his parents who gave us a night in Estes Park. We had a blast! One thing that we do quite often is joke around and make fun of each other. Since I have been married before and no matter where we go, people seem to like to point it out, and of all nights to choose to try to start a fight my ex chose that night, our jokes this weekend kind of had a "my next spouse" theme. He would say, "My next wife will be nice to me." I would say, "My fifth husband (yes that is 3 more in the future) will be what I am really looking for." It would soften the mood when we got lost looking for specific places like...how to get out of the parking lot at the Stanley Hotel or the restaurant back in the mountains further than we thought it was. On our way home, we stopped by Chad's parent's house to thank them for the enjoyable and beautiful trip. He tells them about his "my next wife" joke. They thought it was funny. After all, as they pointed out, it took him 38 years to get married the first time. We then, laughingly, told them about my "fifth husband" joke. Chad and I laughed and pointed out that since I was able to find my second husband less than a year after my divorce, it was possible. They looked at me like I was an alien. It was like they were thinking that it really wasn't a funny joke coming from me. Trust me, it is a hilarious joke! On the way home, I laughed about their reaction, and he didn't seem to get why I was laughing. This morning, Chad was laughing about it (I don't think that he realized their reaction until he had gotten some sleep). I love my husband!

I Need to Figure This Out

I hate how hard weight loss is. I hate how much time it takes to log what I eat. I hate that I need to exercise to not gain any weight. I am just so frustrated! I am scared to weigh myself because I know by how round my face is getting and how horribly clothes are fitting. I popped a button off of some pants this morning that fit well enough a month ago. Two days ago I was picking up some of the stuff the puppy chewed and left on the floor, I realized how hard it was for me to bend down and pick things up. I haven't had those kind of problems since I was pregnant. I'm not pregnant this time. There is only one conclusion I can draw. I am just getting fatter and fatter. I need to get this figured out.

Eric and Sean Go Fishing

My sister and brother-in-law took my boys camping and fishing this last week. During this camping trip, they taught them how to fish. Their first fishing trip was a success. Sean caught 5 fish, and Eric caught 3. (I think I have only caught 1 fish in my whole life.) Since my sister is so awesome,  she took pictures and shared them with me.

Aren't they just the cutest little fishermen ever?

New Honor

A new escalations team was started at my job this week. The people picked for this team are  said to be the best of the project in the center. Most agents were chosen by their supervisors in some way. I was picked not only by my supervisor, I was picked by the person heading up the team as well. On top of the honor of being the only person so for that was hand picked the way that I was, there were only three people that were chosen to do administration work (a.k.a. I get to be off the phone most of the time). There are definitely downsides to being on this team, but as someone who would rather move up in the company that I work for than look for a new job, it is a step in the right direction. I'm not saying that I will always be working at the same place (I would love to get out of the call center realm eventually), but I would like the experience of working higher up in the company. In fact, if they treat me right, I would like to stay with the same company at least until I complete my associates degree.

Random Thoughts About My Kids

My kids are wonderful. They are the most loving people that I know. Sometimes I just look at them in awe of the fact that I am blessed with being their mother. They are growing up so fast that it scares me.

My oldest is 10 and a half. I have a hard time letting him grow up sometimes. I wants him to feel comfortable asking me or talking to me about anything. The questions and comments he comes up with lately are more and more grown up. The thought that it may be time to start talking to him about subjects that I have been shying away from has been coming into my head more and more lately. I want to keep him innocent as long as possible, but I know it is not always possible. He is growing and maturing in front of my eyes. At what age should I talk to him about things like sex and drugs? Even though I know these things aren't a part of his life yet, is it too late for these kind of talks or is he still too young and innocent to worry about it?
My middle child is going to be 9 in a few months (where does the time go). He is so much like me it is scary. He is a people pleaser.  Even though he says he doesn't like school, I know that he likes all of the praise and attention he gets. He can still be difficult if there is something that he wants though (he isn't a robot after all). He loves video games. By this, I mean that when he doesn't get to play video games, he acts like he days was ruined. I have been trying to keep him away from video games as much as possible for this reason. In fact, he hasn't played video games in quite a while. The thing is that even though he doesn't get to play on a regular basis, when he does get to play, he acts like he is entitled to play them every day and pouts when we tell him no. I hope that by me telling him no, that he is learning more things that are fun do. I know he is liking riding his bike and building with Legos more lately. I just need to get a new inner tube for his bike again. Maybe that will help.

My baby is 6 and a half. I just can't believe she is that big already. Sometimes I wonder who said she was allowed to grow up. When I ask her, she says, "Heavenly Father." Who could argue with that? She is so girly it is fun. At the same time, she is my most rough and tumble kid. She is the most likely of the three to be walking around with scrapes and bruises from playing outside. Half the time, she doesn't even tell me when she gets hurt anymore, and if I ask her where the bruise/scrape came from she doesn't even know (her brothers bring attention to every paper cut they get). She loves Fancy Nancy, pink, and wearing dresses. She is picky about what she wears. Her drawers can be over flowing with clean clothes, but she will be upset that she has nothing "pretty" to wear. I'm sure it will get worse as she gets older, and I don't think there is a way around it.

I wouldn't trade my kids for the world. All I ever wanted to be was a mommy, and thanks to these precious babies, I get to live that dream. I am so glad that I was blessed with being their mom. I feel guilty for not being able to give them everything, but I know that I give them the best I have. I still get up with them when they have bad dreams. I cook dinner for them most nights. I make breakfast for them every morning (even if it is just pouring them cereal most of the time). I do my best to find good babysitters that treat them like the special people that they are. I worry about them growing up to be responsible, respectable, caring adults. I take my job as a mom VERY seriously!

Procrastination at Its Best...or Maybe Worst

It is week 12 of my term. The last week. This is both good and bad. Good because I will get a week or two before the next term starts. Bad because I have procrastinated way too much this terms. My environmental science teacher said at the beginning of the term that all class discussions needed to be completed on time (by midnight Saturday each week) all other work can be turned in at any time for full credit. I should not have read this message. I took this as I can just wait until the end to complete anything I was to tired to get done on Saturday (if it is due on Saturday, I do it on Saturday). I got 2 assignments in today since I am home alone and off work. I still have 3 more assignments to do plus the quiz and class discussion for this week. Ugh! It's a good thing that my business communications teacher wasn't as lenient.