My Brother and My Son

Yep, they're related!

Our Summer of Fun

This summer, my family and I made plans to have a lot of fun. My scheduled had changed from working overnights to working early in the morning and getting home around 2pm. We made a list of things we wanted to do: hiking, fishing, camping, going to a water park, swimming at the rec center, roller skating, and going to see a movie. We actually accomplished most of the items on our list and added a few more. I think Eric actually accomplished doing everything.

At the beginning of June, Eric went on a 50 mile hike/camping trip with the scouts. He was very excited and had attended most of the preparatory hikes they planned. He had a lot of fun and came back with some beautiful pictures on his phone.

While he was gone, we had a hail storm that tried to kill my rose bush. Some of the buds survived, and the bush is actually looking better now than it has for a long time. It was a blessing in disguise.

Then, we finished making our first garden box. Very few plants have survived my brown thumb, but I have hopes to get enough pickles off the the ones that are thriving somehow to make my grandmas pickles. Next year, I will plant earlier.

Sean went to Camp Chris Dobbins for the first time with his scout troop. He loved it. He got to ride horses, shoot a gun, and work of game design. 

The first week in August, we went camping as a family with my sister's family. We went to Lake Jackson. It was beautiful. The lake was perfect for swimming. My brother-in-law caught a fish. The dogs loved being outdoors. The first night and following day were wonderful! Then it rained and hailed. After sticking it out for a few hours we decided it was best to just go home. It took two trips to get everything and everyone there. Somehow, we go everything back in one, extremely uncomfortable, ride home. 

That Friday, before the kids woke up, Chad and I went to a small fishing pond in Hudson and caught our first fish since we started fishing together two years ago.

That Saturday, Chad's brother took us and the kids to the Wierd Al concert. It was a blast and the perfect way to end the week.

Now, the kids are back in school. Hopefully, we can continue to make good memories.

A Great Treasure

In my earliest memories, there were six members living in my family: Mom; Dad;, Anthony, my older brother; Marleah, my younger sister; Grandma; and me. I have few memories before the age of ten when there weren’t six of us sitting at the dinner table, going on vacation, or going to church. We loved each other, and I could not imagine my life any different.  

When I was ten, my grandma went to visit my aunt for my cousin’s missionary farewell. Instead of coming home later that week as planned, she went into the hospital because her skin and eyes were mysteriously yellow. A few days later, my brother, sister, and I lined up on the couch as my mom delivered the tragic news, “Grandma is very sick. We don’t know when or if she will be able to come home. She has cancer.” I wanted her to come home and keep taking care of us. I prayed every night pleading for her to get better. Two months later she came home, and I thought everything would be back to normal. I was wrong. My mom flew with my grandma back to Arizona to see the doctors who had originally diagnosed her cancer a few months later. Three weeks after that, May 29, 1989, my dad received a phone call from my mom informing him that my grandma had passed away. After he told us, I didn’t want to eat. I just wanted to go back to bed.  I didn’t understand how we could live without her.

Later that year, mom my struggled with depression and mental illness triggered by the loss of her mother. By the end of the year, she was admitted to a mental hospital. The following years were difficult. My mom was in and out of the hospital due to suicidal thoughts. Then, she left home without telling anyone where she was going. Two months later she was found back in the hospital. We had been abandoned; we only found out where she was because the health insurance was though my dad.

The next few years brought more challenges to my relationship with my mom. When I was sixteen, my parents were divorced, and my mom moved about 20 miles away. I did not understand why my mom left or why she did not want to live with my brother, sister, and me. Finally, when I was seventeen, I realized the problem was not me or her, it was her mental illness. I forgave her and our relationship grew stronger as I visited her whenever my schedule allowed.

The summer of my eighteenth birthday, I felt life could not be better. I had the relationship I had always wanted with my mom, my brother had just moved into his first apartment, and my sister and I were starting our junior and senior years of high school. As my mom worked on her relationship with her children, she came to the conclusion that the best way to feel closer to her mother would be to do temple work for her parents. After a few weeks of talking to her sisters and making plans, she decided to visit her sister in Arizona to do the work and be sealed to them. One night my mom stopped by my job to let my sister and I know she would be leaving early in the morning as planned. She gave us each a hug and said, “Goodbye, I will see you when I get back.” We did not know that would be our last hug. When my sister and I got home from work, we saw our brother’s dog locked up in the kitchen as our exhausted dad explained Anthony had decided to visit our aunt in Arizona with our mom and her roommate, and they had left around midnight instead of early morning because my mom’s roommate believed they were being stalked by her ex-husband. Then, we went to bed not knowing how much our lives would change the next day.

The following morning, Friday, August 30, 1996, is a morning I will never forget. My sister and I woke up and went to seminary and school as usual. While I was in the second class of the day, a note from the front office was brought to me telling me my dad was waiting for me. I walked into the office and saw my dad standing there looking sick and expressionless. When my sister arrived, we were taken into an empty room. “Mom and Anthony were in an accident this morning,” he managed to choke out. When we asked how badly they were hurt, he explained the circumstances of the accident: since they didn’t sleep before leaving Denver, Mom and Anthony, were sleeping in the car when my mom’s roommate feel asleep at the wheel and crashed into the guard rail. My mom was wearing her seat belt, but was crushed by the guard rail. Anthony was not wearing a seat belt and was thrown out the back window with such a force that he didn’t survive the impact. My whole world had changed in that instant. How could life go on without Mom and Anthony? My head was spinning. I had no idea how I was supposed to feel. As we stood questioning why, we were taken into the counseling office to wait for our bishop to arrive and help us go safely home.

The next task was to plan a double funeral. By Sunday, we had most of the plans in place. As we walked into church, it felt different than the previous weeks. It was announced Mom and Anthony passed away followed by the opening hymn, “Families Can Be Together Forever.” I sat expressionless for the rest of the meeting as people bore testimonies of the sealing ordinance and talked about memories of my mom and brother.

Through tragedy and grief, I learned the greatest treasure we have on earth is our family. There are many things people take for granted when their loved ones are still on earth: talking to family members on the phone, wishing them a happy Mother’s or Father’s day, celebrating birthdays, telling them happy news such has marriages and pregnancies, having a mother help with the new babies, getting advice, hearing them laugh, and seeing them smile. Embrace these moments. You never know when they will be gone; leaving you mourning the experiences you are not able to share with them.

Defenders of the Family

https://pondsguidetopersonalprogress.wordpress.com/tag/bonnie-l-oscarson/

As the world defines family with less and less standards, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are to defend the sanctity of marriage in a loving and caring way. By doing this, we share the greatest blessings possible to a family (being sealed for eternity). Even if we are not formally called to serve a mission, we can still share the gospel by teaching those around and being good examples. As the hymn says, we should "all press on in the work of the Lord."

Heavenly Father's Plan

https://blogs.bencrowder.net/mormon/2006/plan-of-salvation/

"Gender is an Essential Characteristic"

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/317574211200664155/

We are not born either male or female by accident. We have always been male or female. We were made that way to complement each other in marriage. In his talk "Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan," Elder David A. Bednar said, "For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinctive, and complementary...By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fullness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other."
I am glad to know that I didn't just happen to be born a girl for no reason. I am very happy to know that I was not meant to do everything on my own. God put me on this earth as a woman with characteristics specific to women. My husband has characteristics unique to men. Together, we can do anything! There is no need and no way for me to compete with him.

Scared

http://www.fearfuladventurer.com/archives/6873

My new assignment for my English class is to write a personal narrative essay. We are supposed to answer the following questions:

• Why is this important to me?
• Why do I still remember this?
• How did this change me?
• So what? What might others take from this experience?

The topics I thought of are: my divorce (I am getting sick of talking about this), the car accident that took my mom and brother from this life, or my mom's many trips to the hospital for depression. I am leaning towards the car accident. Just thinking about talking about it THIS in depth scares me. I think I am mostly scared of bearing this part of my soul to class members. What if I show how weak my testimony is? What if people think I am some kind of wierdo because I this is still so painful after 20 years? At the same time, what if writing this essay heals my heart a bit more? What if this is what I need to do to continue to move on?

Quality Time

To My Chad

I am thankful that I am blessed with three wonderful children. I am blessed to be sharing them with the best example I could ask for. He may not be their father by blood, but he is the one who puts Noel to bed at night, helps lead our house, encourages them in everything they do to the best of his ability, and shows them how to work hard for what they want. 

My Divine Roll

about a month before Noel was born

When I was growing up, the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up was a mommy. I got my wish January 10, 2002; September 25, 2003; and November 22, 2005. Eric, Sean, and Noel are my greatest blessings and my biggest responsibilities. Heavenly Father has entrusted them into my care. As a mother, I am to nurture, love, respect, and teach them. 

If I don't do my part to teach them how to live the gospel, I will be held responsible. That is overwhelming at times. When they were little, they loved to share their testimonies, go to church activities, and say prayers. Since their dad put aside his beliefs, it has been a struggle. I am not going to stop trying though.

Mosiah 4:14-15 "And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil...But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another."

Eternal Marriage

I too this from my friend's Facebook page.

You Are Not Alone

This reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Michael McClean.

Your not alone
Even tho' right now you're on your own.
You are loved in ways that can't be shown;
You're needs are know;
You're not alone.
And when you cry
You're just letting go a heartache deep inside.
So tomorrow there'll be sunshine in the sky-
And love close by:
Your're not alone. 

This artist and this song have helped me through many trials including the tragic death of my mom and brother when I was 18. He does an amazing job of writing songs that speak to my heart.

"We Believe As We...Make and Keep Sacred Covenants"

When I was a 12 to 18 years old, I was in a wonderful organization called Young Women. In my early 20's, I had the privilege to serve in the presidency with the best girls ever. Every Sunday for the years I was either a girl participating or a leader assisting, we recited the theme of the Young Women. It has changed slightly since then, but the lessons I learned from it remain the same.

http://robbygurlscreations.blogspot.com/2011/03/young-women-manual-2-lesson-41-optimism.html

Making and keeping sacred covenants is near the end, but that doesn't mean it is not important. A covenant made with God is sacred. It is a two way promise; we promise to follow His teachings; He promises to give us blessings. The wonderful part of these covenants is that He doesn't break his part of the promise. In Doctrine and Covenants 82:10, the Lord promises, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

When we perform ordinances in the temple, we make covenants with the Lord. In The Power of  Covenants, Eler D. Todd Christofferson says, "If we are faithful to the covenants make there, we become inheritors not only of the celestial kingdom but of exaltation, the highest glory within the heavenly kingdom, and we obtain all the divine possibilities God can give." Isn't this amazing! By making and keeping sacred covenants, we can receive the ultimate eternal rewards. Can we really ask for more? 

Yes, Eric Clapton. I Will Still Be The Same If You Saw Me In Heaven

http://thelivingtruthfellowship.org/jtltf/bible-teachings/articles-by-topc/life-and-death/121-will-christians-really-live-in-heaven-forever

When I was much younger, Eric Clapton's song, Tears In Heaven, asked though provoking questions.

Would you know my name
If I way you in heaven?
Would you be the same
If I say you in heaven?

This song was written shortly after his son had passed away in a tragic accident. He missed his son dearly.
As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints, we have answers. In Finding Happiness, a talk given by Elder Richard G. Scott, we learn, "...we willnever lose our identity or memory of cherished relationships..." As someone who has lost loved ones, this is a comfort.
If we live righteously and make and keep sacred covenants, we will be with our families in the eternities, and we will know each other because we will still be the same.

Gospel Truth

http://whymormonism.org/3066/truly-liberated-mormon-wife/pinocchio-truth-free-jm

"The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth.
  Light and truth forsake that evil one." Doctrine and Covenants 93:36-37

My favorite parable to illustrate truth was told by President Uchtorf in a C.E.S. devotional titled "What is Truth." In this, he talks about a poem in which six blind men are lead to an elephant (something they have no previous knowledge of). They each feel a different part of the elephant. One feels the leg and describes it to be like the trunk of a tree. The next one describes the tusk to be spear-like. Then, one man describes the tail to be like a rope. A fourth man says that the trunk is like a large snake. Then, they fight about the truth. As you and I know, they are all right in a way. Since there is not a way for them to know what the entire animal looks like, their truth is based on their individual knowledge (the part of the elephant they can feel).

How can we know the REAL truth if it is that subjective?

We can listen to our church leaders. We have general conferences twice a year. The talks given in those conferences are published for us to read over and over again if we feel the need. (My favorite is "Three Goals to Guide You" by President Thomas S. Monson.) The Lord told us:

"What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself...whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it it is the same." Doctrine and Covenants 1:38

The best part about our search for the truth is not only do we have modern prophets to guide us, we are encouraged to search for the truth. In the 2010 Friend, we are taught,"We receive a marvelous gift when we are baptized adn confirmed. this is the gift of the Holy Ghost...If we follow His proptings, we can return to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ again." ("The Holy Ghost Testifies of the Truth of All Things" by Sandra Tanner and Cristina Franko) We are also challenged in the scriptures to ask for confirmation of the truth.

"Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them...and ponder in your hearts.
And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ,he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." Moroni 10:3-5

I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am glad that the Lord knows me and teaches me more truths when I am ready to learn them.

A Mother's Love

http://aaliyahem.blogspot.com/2014/10/a-mothers-love.html

I believe that a mother’s love never dies. It continues on even after she is gone from this earth through her children, friends, sisters, brothers, and other loved ones.

            A mother has the ability to love her children no matter what they have done. I remember one night when my mom snuck into my room and climbed into my bed crying because of the choices my brother was making. She never once said that she did not love him because of these choices; her reaction was quite the opposite. She was crying because she loved him so much and wanted to help him make better decisions in his life. I knew at this point that I wanted to love my children as much as my mom loved my brother.

            A mother takes the time to show her children that they are loved, not just tell them. I have a special way of showing my son, Sean, that he is loved. Whenever we get a moment to have a long hug, I sing to him. It is not just any song. It is our song, “You Are My Sean-Sean” (an adapted version of “You Are My Sunshin

e). It is one quick song sang to a sad boy, who struggles with depression, but it means the world to my precious boy, and he knows he is loved.

            A mother is selfless. She would give up her last bite of food to make sure the needs of her children are met first. She would make sure her children have adequate clothing while wearing clothing that she has been wearing for more years than the kids have been alive. She will sacrifice sleep to help a child who has a homework assignment due the next day.

            My mom passed away almost twenty years ago, but her influence is still felt. My sister and I take care of each other when help is neeed. During the heartache of learning my first husband no longer wanted to be married, my sister was always willing to help me whether I needed a phone call, help with my kids, or even home repairs. She did exactly as our mother taught us to do; she did more than just tell me she loved me, she showed me. I could feel my mom was near us and happy my sister was helping me.

            Another way that my mom’s love is still spread is how my sister and I have adopted some of my mom’s traditions of love with our kids. For many years, my kids enjoyed “cuddle time” just like we did as kids before getting ready for school. They would each get about five minutes to cuddle with me in the living room chair with no other distractions. My sister and I, also, read with our kids and play with our kids just like our mom did with us. By doing this, my kids are enjoying the legacy of love that my mom left when she died.

            More than just saying she loves her children, a mother shows them she loves them. She cries for them, sings to them, sacrifices for them, and teaches them to love others. By teaching her children how to love, this love can be felt long after she is gone.

*An essay written for English class.

Family Structure

http://www.debate.org/opinions/should-marriage-be-constitutionally-defined-as-between-one-man-and-one-woman

May 4

This semester, I am taking a class called “Eternal Family.” In this class I am learning about the divine institution: the family. This week I read a case study about two college roommates. One taught a lesson in Relief Society about family relationships. Afterwards, the other roommate sent a text saying that The Family: A Proclamation to the World was not doctrine, but rather a feel good story. As it turns out the girl who sent the text was raised by a single father due to her mother’s death when she was young. This girls family situation made her feel like she was inadequate when the first girl said that a family was to comprise of a mother, father, and children.

We know that in the world today our beliefs are different from those around us. It is important that we are sensitive to people who live in differences in circumstances, but not excuse ourselves when speaking of the gospel. We are to “anchor ourselves to the word of God, contained in the scriptures and teachings of modern prophets…we must anticipate that our conclusions will differ from persons who do not think in that way. But we are firm in this because we know that this puts us on safe ground eternally…our explanation of why we think in this way will give others a better understanding of our position.” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, As He Thinketh in his Heart)

With that being said; The Family: A Proclamation to the World proclaims, “…marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God…family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” In his talk No other Gods, Elder Dallin H. Oaks explained, “marriage of a man and woman is necessary forth accomplishment of God’s plan. Only this marriage will provide the approved setting for mortal birth and prepare family members for eternal life.” This is how God intended for us to live, married as husband and wife. The family created by this man and woman, is the center of God’s plan of happiness. Elder D. Todd Christofferson said in his April 2015 talk, Why Marriage, Why Family, “A family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplied the best setting for God’s plan to thrive…families built on such marriages is vital for societies to survive and flourish.” However, the proclamation does also say, “Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.” This is not ideal, but the Lord understands that even when a family starts the way He intended, situations such as the death of a family member may change this dynamic.  I would have let the girl who sent the text message know that Heavenly Father knows of her family difficulties. Her family is still ordained by God and follows his plan. The death of her mother does not exempt her and her family to the blessings that the Lord has waiting for them.

This proclamation is not just a suggestion. It is the word of God. In Doctrine and Covenants 1:38 we are told, “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.” This means since The Family: A Proclamation to the World was given to us by servants of the Lord, the first presidency and council of the twelve apostles, it is doctrine, it will always remain the same. There is no expiration date. We need to follow it to the best of our ability.

My kids have to live in less than ideal circumstances. Their father left the church and then us. His decisions have caused many difficulties in our family, but we are going to make it. With Chad now supporting and loving the kids and me, we can have the family the Lord wants us to again. 

What Is Marriage?

From 1886

I found this gem on Facebook today:

https://www.facebook.com/GottmanInstitute/photos/a.469547105864.241581.149200885864/10153929482935865/?type=3&theater

Mom's Day

Mother's Day is a bittersweet day for me. I love my kids, and I love being reminded that I am a mom. It is also a harsh reminder that my mom is no longer with us. As I get older, it gets a bit easier, but it is still one of my most dreaded days of the year. Today I was holding my emotions together quite well until the closing song in Sacrament Meeting, Love At Home. The memories of my mom flooded my head. Most Sundays these are welcome, comforting memories. However this Sunday, Mother's Day, it reminded me of how much I miss my mom. I know I will be with her again, but today it hurts that she isn't here with me laughing, crying, joking, and loving. I love my mom. I was blessed with the best mom in all of the eternities.

http://www.kalynskitchen.com/2012/05/mothers-day-2012-and-missing-my-mom.html

End of School

It is that time of year again, the end of the school year. This means that my next two weeks will be busier than usual. This week the boys have their only band concert of the year (the winter concert was canceled due to snow) and Noel has her band and choir concert on the same night. This means that Chad and I will have to split up and record each group. Next week, Eric has a choir concert on Tuesday and 8th grade continuation on Thursday. (I will have to miss my classes this week and next to accommodate this schedule.) I also have Girl Scouts still on  Tuesday night and home work to get done. The weekend after school lets out Noel has her cheer competition and parent demo night. I am sure there is more going on that we don't know about. The kids love to tell us about things last minute.

Classes

I am so excited about the classes I am taking this semester! I am taking a basic writing class and Eternal Family.
I am a bit excited about the writing class because I am liking writing more and more. I really want to make sure that my blog is enjoyable to me and others that may read it.
I am even more excited about Eternal Family. This class is based of The Family: A Proclamation to the World.  My friend took this class not that long ago, and talking to her about it makes me even more excited about this class. I just started last week, but I already like that the text is scriptures and church talks/devotionals. I am happy that I will be learning how to help my family get stronger and closer.
This is going to be a good semester. I can feel it!

New Car

We have been hoping that our cars would last for a few more years. We were wrong. I stopped driving my PT Cruiser last summer because the check engine light was on, and they won't test the emissions with the light on. A few months later, the battery wouldn't keep a charge. We still have the hope that we can get this car running well enough to get me to and from work. Earlier this week, Chad's Subaru died. We made the attempt to get it running, but have no hopes of it ever working again. 

With care full consideration, the decision was made that Chad would look for a second job, and we got a new, more reliable car. Chad's brother took us to Drive Time this morning. We left with a Kia Sol. All we need now is some hamster costumes.

Feeling Loved

http://www.geckoandfly.com/

I have been blessed this week with the love of friends and family. Our only running car broke down on my way home from work Tuesday morning. With Chad not in a position to help, I called my sister at 5:30 in the morning to rescue me. Luckily, she was willing and able to do so. Once I secured a tow truck I was able to get a ride back to the car from my friend, Dawn, who had other plans, but still took the time to sit with me on the side of the highway until the tow truck arrived. Then, my friend, Suzi, brought me from the mechanic shop home offering me a car to help me get to work if needed later in the week. That night, my ex-husband gave me a ride to work and a ride home the next morning. The next day, he got off work early to help my husband tow the car back to the house once it was determined the car could not be fixed. Wednesday and Thursday night, Suzi let me use her car to go to and from work and offered to let me us it next week if necessary since we work opposite schedules. (Hopefully, it won't come to that.) Chad's brother took the time to take me to a job interview yesterday. (We live a good distance from him and the interview.)

I just can't believe how many people helped me in this time of need. I feel loved. I feel blessed. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of support I have received. 

Faith

This week, I have been studying Ether in The Book of Mormon. This is one of my favorite books in The Book of Mormon because I like the simpleness of the way the Lord helps and speaks to the bother of Jared when they are building the barges to cross the seas to the promised land. This time as I was reading and studying this book, I realized that the theme of the book of Ether is faith (or at least it seemed that way to me).
In chapter 1, Jared and his brother are in the midst of wickedness and the Lord is confounding the language of the people due to this wickedness. Jared goes to his brother and says, "Cry unto the Lord that he will not confound us..." (verse 34). When this is granted, Jared says, "Cry unto the Lord and it may be that he will turn away his anger from them who are our friends, that he confound not there language." (verse 36) Once again the Lord helped them. Then in verse 38 it says, "And  it came to pass that Jared spake again unto his brother saying: Go and inquire of the Lord whether he will drive us out of the land, and if he will drive us out of the land, cry unto him whither we shall go. And who knoweth but the Lord will carry us forth into the land which is choice above all the earth: And if it so be, let us be faithful unto the Lord, that we may receive it for our inheritance." At this point they were directed to gather everything and go down to the valley.
Now, I want to skip to chapter 3. At this point, barges have been built to help the people cross the seas. The brother of Jared is looking for a way to light the barges. They can't use windows,and the barges have to be kept tight to keep the water our. Under the direction of the Lord they have done what I picture in my head as some kind of cork system on the top and bottom to allow air in as needed. The brother of Jared has been directed to come up with a solution to light the boats. He goes up the mountain and makes some clear stones. He then goes to the Lord and says, "...O lord, look upon me in pity, an turn away thine anger from this they people, and suffer not that they shall go forth across this raging deep in darkness; but behold these things with I have molten out of the rock. And I know, O lord, that thou hast all power, and can do whatsoever thou wilt for the benefit of man; therefore touch these stones, O Lord, with thy finger, and prepare them that they may shine forth in the darkness; and they shall shine forth unto us int he vessels which we have prepared, that we may have light while we shall cross the sea." (verses 3-4) Because of his faith, he received a miracle in verse 6. "And it came to pass that when the brother of Jared had said these words, behold, the Lord stretched forth his hand and touched the stones one by one with his finger. And the veil was taken from off the eyes of the brother of Jared, and he say the finger of the Lord; and it was the finger of a man, like unto flesh and blood; and the brother of Jared fell down before the Lord, for he was struck with fear."
Let's skip to chapter 12. There have been wars and many secret combinations and great destruction. The prophet Ether is preaching to the people. "For he did cry from the morning, even until the going down of the sund, exhorting the people to believe in God unto repentance lest they should be destroyed, saying unto them that by faith all things are fulfilled-Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope fro a better world, yea even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God." (verses 3-4) Later he testifies in verse 12, "For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them..."
In "Mountains to Climb-Gaining Power to Overcome Challenges of Life," we are told that a particle of faith is precious and should be protected. If the foundation of faith is not in our hearts, our faith will crumble. We are promised that with faith, the hardest and easiest of times can be a blessing, and we can feel the love of God.
The Mormon Message titled "Testimony of The Book of Mormon." In this video, Jeffrey R. Holland testifies of the truthfulness of The Book of Mormon. He points out that his this was a made up church and book, they would not have died testifying of its divinity. He points out that we should treasure up the word of the Lord. By doing this our heart and faith will not fail us.
I have learned a lot about faith this week. If we pray for help, the Lord will bless us. If we hold our faith close and make it our foundation, we will not fail.

Tithing

https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/mormonad-fair-share-1118242?lang=eng

This week I learned a lot about the law of tithing. In the past I have not been very good at paying tithing. It is still a struggle for me, especially when the budget is tight. Last week, we got a paycheck that was smaller than expected. We were also unwise and spent foolishly before even checking how much this paycheck had been. This caused a trial of faith. I was scared to pay tithing. Of course the Lord knew of my struggle and there was already a plan in place to help me make the right decision. Part of my study in my Book of Mormon class was about tithing. 

When I sat down to read my scripture Monday, I was being helped with this struggle. 3 Nephi 24: 10-12 says:

"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in my house; and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
"And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the fields, saith the Lord of hosts.
"And all nations shall call you blessed, for ye shall be a delightsome land , saith the Lord of Hosts."

We are promised in by the Savior in these verses that if we pay our tithing we will have many blessings including protection from the "devourer." If we look at the footnote to get a better understanding of this promise, it takes us to Docterine and Covenants 85:3 which says:
"...he may tithe his people, to prepare them against the day of vengeance and burning..."

We are being promised that we will be saved by the Lord if we follow this commandment.  In these verses.
In his talk "The law of Tithing," Elder Daniel L. Johnson said that tithing is the key to the blessings of God. He advised us to pay our tithing first (before paying any other financial obligations) and put our trust in the Lord. By doing this, he promised that the Lord will pour out blessings and that we will draw closer to him.
I am one who gets caught up in thinking sometimes that we can't afford to pay tithing. We have three children to take care of and bills to pay. To this Elder Dallin H. Oaks said in his talk "Tithing," that those who have faith in the law of tithing say, "I can't afford not to pay tithing." This is because we are promised blessings when we follow this commandments, and if we don't follow this law the Lord will withhold physical and spiritual blessings. I don't know about you, but I need all the blessings I can get.
Over the past year, I have been doing my best at paying tithing on our income. I have received blessings from doing this and trials when I forgot or got scared. Last spring, as we paid tithing and my daughter was growing so fast we were struggling to clothe her, the bishop's wife gave us clothes her daughter had just grown out of. It was more than enough clothes for my daughter and she was very excited to have been given such nice clothes. In contrast, in the fall as I was transitioning from paying tithing with a check to paying online, I forgot to pay for a few weeks. At this point, our bank account went negative and our water heater busted. We had to rely on some kind family members to get a new water heater installed and learned we needed to be more disciplined with our spending.
I am glad that I had the opportunity to learn more about tithing in a week where I struggled with paying it. I am glad that I was able to not only learn form the scriptures and the servants of the Lord, I have been able to reflect on my own experiences to learn as well. I am thankful that my loving Heavenly Father provided a way to strengthen me in my weakness.

Daddy / Daughter Dance

This beautiful girl didn't want to choose between her favorite guys for the dance, so...

she is going with Big Guy...

and Daddy.

She loves them both, and is excited to be going to the Daddy/Daughter dance!

Girl Scouts

I have recently become the co-leader of a new Girl Scout troop (the things I do for my daughter). We started just in time for cookie season. I would have to say that these girls are doing great considering only three are selling. Thankfully, we are almost done with cookies and can move on to more fun and exciting things. I would have to say, the more I get involved with these cuties, the more I am liking it.  I wasn't aloud to be in Girl Scouts when I was a kid. Now is my chace!

Be a Light

https://www.lds.org

I have been studying about Jesus teaching the Nephites this week in 3 Nephi, and I have learned a lot!

The main thing that I found throughout the chapters that I read (3 Nephi 12 to 17) was that we do our part to gain faith and help others in the process. 

First, we have to know what we believe in. Elder Robert D. Hales give a good formula for gaining faith in his talk, "Finding Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ." He tells us that first we must hear the spoken and written word of God. Then, we need to let it sink into our hearts. Next, we need to "hunger in (our) soul for righteousness." Forth, we need to "obediently follow gospel laws, ordinances, and covenants." Finally, we are to "raise (our) voice in mighty prayer, asking in faith to know that Jesus Christ is our Savior." He then gives us the promise that if we find faith in Jesus, Heavenly father will strengthen this faith. 

It is important to understand, however, that faith is just the beginning. We need to take action. 3 Nephi 15:1 says, "...whoso remembereth these saying of mine and doeth them, him will I raise up at the last day." There are many things that the Savior asked us to do in these chapters. In chapter 12 He asks us to repent and come unto Him and keep His commandments. Chapter 13 tells us to give donations to the poor in secret, not expecting a reward, pray, forgive, and "lay up for yourselves treasures of heaven" (3 Nephi 13:20). In chapter 14 he says not to judge, pray for answers, and beware of false prophets. Chapter 15 tells us to do missionary work. These are all important steps to being more like and true disciples of Christ.

As we work towards discipleship, we will stick out for the world to see us. This is what the Lord wants. He says in 3 Nephi 12:14 to 16:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, i give unto you to be the light of this people. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.
"Behold, do men light a candle and put it under a bushel? Nay, but a candlestick, and it giveth light to all that are in the house;
"Therefore let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

These verses were talked about in my class a few days ago. More specifically, the words "let your light so shine" were talked about. A group talked about how they pictured a lighthouse shining as a beacon. As they talked about this a visioned a lighthouse in the dark, stormy night shining to anyone who may be looking for that light to bring them to safety.

http://www.singingwiththespirit.com

When I went back to read it again, I pictured more of a the light of a candle or lantern lighting up a dark room. In my head it is a calmer light showing the way.

https://www.colourbox.com

No matter if we are the bright beacon helping someone through the storms of their lives or the soft candle showing the way in a dark room, by following Christ, we can help others find faith in Christ as well as ourselves. 

I hope that as I continue to grow faith in Christ that I can be a light in someone's light. 

Pride Cycle

"And thus we can behold how false, and also the unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men; yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and prosper those who put their trust in him.
"Yea, and we may see at the very time when he doth prosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their hears, and in gold, and in silver, and in all the manner of precious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time of his people; yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord their god, and do trample under their feet the Holy One-yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity.
"And thus we see that except the Lord doth chasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with death and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not remember him." (Helaman 12: 1-3)
The pride cycle is a bit interesting and definatley and a bit scary. I would have to admit that I fall into this trap. This is what it looks like:

In the Book of Mormon the pride took over the people  of Helamam quickly. Not only did it take of the people, but it took of them quickly. For example, Helaman 11:17 and 18 tell us that the people had been humbled and the Lord was now blessing them with rain so that they could finally grow. This was in the 76th year of the rein of the judges. As we continue to verse 36 in the same chapter, we see that by the 85th year of the reign of the judges the people "did wax stronger and stronger in in their pride, and their wickedness." This shows us that they had prosperity and here listing to the counsel of God, however in the 85th year of the reign of  judges, they were "ripening...for destruction." That is only about 9 years difference. This shows us how quickly Satan can come into our hears and minds and tamper with our relationship with our Heavenly Father. 

This cycle applies to us today as well. The countries with greater prosperity are the ones with greater evil and destruction. In his talk "The Lord Will Prosper the Righteous" in the October 1992 conference, Elder Dean L. Larsen told us "When the lives of the people are in harmony with the Lord's will, all of the essential factors that produce the blessings God designs to give to his children come into line...We have the Lord's assurance that he will bless and prosper his people if they will keep his commandments and remember to look to him as the source of their blessings." Elder Larsen continues on to tell us,"As the world continues to ripen in iniquity, our lives of necessity must become increasingly different from the world and its standard...As we succeed, we have the sure promise of the Lord that he will prosper us in every way necessary for our well-being...But this is a conditional promise."  

I love this gospel. I love that we can read scriptures written before Christ was even born and read conference talks that were given more than 20 years ago and look at today's world and see the similarities. I love that we can learn from the past and apply it to our present. The Lord knows us. The scriptures are for our time. The messages given at conference are to help us now and in the future!

Amalickah

For my Book of Mormon class this week, I realized how much can happen in one year. The 19th year of the reign of judges spans from chapter 45 through chapter 49. If you think about it, earlier in the Book of Mormon, one chapter was comprised of several years. For example, 1 Nephi chapter 4 spans about 8 years. The fact the the 19th year of the reign of judges spans about 5 chapters. This tells me that the things that were happening are very important. These chapters are action packed. There are wars, surrendering, an attempted coups, a king killed, and more. I am going to mostly concentrate of the happenings between Caption Moroni and Amalickah.
Amalickah was bad news. He was a very charismatic guy who wanted control over the government. He did gain some followers (back then this meant that some of the people literally followed him around to hear what they have to say). Alma 46: 7-8 says, "And there were many in the church who believed in the flattering works of Amalickah...Thus we see how quick the children of men do forget th Lord their God, yea, how quick to do iniquity,and to be led away by the even one."
Captain Moroni was not fooled and wanted to make sure people remembered what they had fraught for. He tore off his clothes, wrote on them, "In memory of our God, our religion, our freedom. and our peace, our wives, and our children", and posted them on a pole with his helmet the top of the poll. He called this the Title of Liberty. I pictured this being similar to the picture of a soldier's rifle with the helmet on it.
As the chapters go though, Amalickah manages to win over a lot of people, but they get kicked out. He become the king over the Lamanites by using subtle deceptions to trick king Lehonti down from the mount and killed him. Then, the deceptions continued. Alma 47:30 says, "Amalickiah, by his fraud, gained the hearts of the people." Next, he had to win over the heart of the queen, which he does.
At this point, he is still not happy and wants more power, so he stirs things up between the Lamanites and the Nephites and sends his people out to war against the Nephites. The Nephites are prepared for such battles, however. Their cities are fortified so well that the Lamanites are unable to throw stones or shoot arrows. The Nephites "were prepared for them, in a manner which had never been known...to battle after the manner of instructions of Moroni." (Alma 49:8)
Hopefully, we can be as Captian Moroni who was "a strong and mighty man...of perfect understanding; yea, a man who did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in liberty and the freedom of his country...whose heart did swell with thanksgiving to his God;...a man who did labor exceedingly for the welfare and safety of his people. Yea, he was a man firm in the faith of Christ." (Alma 48:11-13) As the hymn says, we should "dare to do right, dare to be true." (Children's Song Book of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, number 158)