Feeling Special

 

I often feel like the awkward invisible person off to the side. I have felt this way most of my life. At church, I wonder if anything I do gets noticed. I am in a ward with a lot of young families. I don't fit that demographic. My children are way past the potty-training, preschool going, going to the park stage. Also, I am not a stay-at-home mom who is available to meet during the day on a whim. I am just me. The mother to two grown children and one in high school. A full-time, work-from-home mom who goes to school part-time online. I don't have the time to socialize as much as I would like because of my commitments and obligations, and when I do have the time, I often forget or back out because of anxiety. 

In the last few days, ladies from church have made me feel special. Sunday, we had Stake Conference, and I went alone. I sat in the chairs set up in the gym almost back to the stage thinking as long as I was out of everyone's way, I was fine. After a few minutes, the Brother and Sister Lewis showed up and sat behind me and talked to me for a bit. Then, Amber Ogden and her daughter, Zoey, sat in front of me and chit-chatted for a bit. That was followed by Kim Shafer sliding in next to me just as things were getting started. I sat there during conference knitting and feeling the love of these ward members who could have sat anywhere in that gym but chose to sit by me. 

Yesterday was the Relief Society activity for the month. They were putting baskets together for ladies in the ward they felt needed a bit of a pick-me-up. I thought about going but had too much homework including a paper due that night. As I sat doing homework with the TV on (it is how I spend time with Chad when I am bogged down with work), there was a knock at the door. Four ladies from the ward who I love talking to when I get the chance were standing there with one of these baskets. It made me feel so special. Of all of the women in the ward, they chose to come visit me and give me a basket of self-care items. 

I have been praying daily for my children. I rarely pray for myself. My Heavenly Father knows me enough to know that I still need to be supported even if I don't ask for it. He sent me that support when I really needed it. He showed me the love that I needed when I didn't even know that was what I needed. I am so thankful for the love and support I have been shown over the last few days.