The Example of Nephi

This week in my religion class, I had the opportunity of studying 1 Nephi 1- 5 in the Book of Mormon.This is the first time in a long time that I have really studied the Book of Mormon. I learned lessons that I hadn't realized were in these chapters.
In these chapters Lehi prophesied that Jerusalem would be destroyed and takes his family to the wilderness as directed by the Lord. Then, he is given the commandment to send his sons back to Jerusalem to get the brass plates from Laban, the king. Laman and Lemuel murmur. Nephi tells his father that he will do it because it is a commandment of the Lord. After two failed attempts, they obtain the plates and a new traveling companion, Zoram, Laban's servant. Upon returning to their parents, they discover that Sariah, their mother had complained about her sons going back and had worried that they had been killed. Lehi calms her by telling her that he knew that he was asking a lot, but these were the Lords directions. When the brothers returned, their parents rejoiced and thanked the Lord. Then, they read from the plates of brass.
In the class we were provided with clips of General Conference talks that go along with these chapters that I have taken for granted because, as most Mormons, I have read them more than the majority of the book. There were two that talked about murmuring. These clips opened my eyes to the negativity that I have been spreading. Elder Neil A. Maxwell explained that murmuring is a half complaint and that we do this because we want the Lord to accept us on our own terms rather than His. Elder Jeffery R. Holland explained that when we murmur people don't like to be around people that negative. My favorite quote from his talk, "The Tongue of Angels," was, "No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse." He relates this to Laman and Lemuel in chapter 3 where they are striking Nephi and have him tied up. He says that Nephi may have been more accepted of the beatings because it meant they were not murmuring while hitting them. He then quotes Ephesians 4:29-33 which says, "Let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth...be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
From these scriptures and talks, I learned that I need to be more willing to follow God's plan for me with our complaining (murmuring). It, also, taught me that it is better to forgive others as Nephi did after the angel rebuked his brothers in chapter 3.

And Then There Was One

The kids started school August 12. They are now in 8th, 6th, and 4th grades. This means I have only one left in elementary school. It seems like just yesterday Eric started kindergarten, and I was walking him to school with Noel in a stroller and Sean slowly wondering behind.

Going Back to School

schoolclipart.biz

I remember saying I wanted to go to BYU in middle school. Now is my chance! I have enrolled in the Pathway program where I can go to school online along with having a group to meet with once a week. This is a less expensive way to earn my bachelors degree with support from reputable university. I get to start in September. I can't wait!

Freedom or Cost of Being Annoymous

clashdaily.com

A few weeks ago, I noticed that I was becoming more and more negative. I was able to trace this bad feelings to my experiences on Facebook. Having a variety of people on the friends list, I was bombarded with ugliness towards people who have differing opinions. I didn't like how I was feeling, and I needed to find a way to feel better.

The last Sunday in June, I went to church feeling so negative, I didn't know how I was going to make it through three hours with a lot of people. My Heavenly Father knew I needed help. The opening song was "The Star Spangled Banner." As we stood up and sang, tears ran down my eyes. I was reminded of my rich family heritage and the freedoms we truly enjoy. I felt peace as my eyes were opened to the changes I needed to make.

I made the decision to take some much needed time away from Facebook and spend more time researching my family history. I have found the record of an ancestor in the Revolutionary War. This was an exciting find that I don't think I would have found if I had continued spending my time reading the debates on Facebook. 

We live in a great country where we can voice our opinion on decisions made by government officials without fear of being prosecuted. To go along with that freedom, we have online forums where we have a way to express our feelings and have that opinion "heard" by more people while remaining semi-annoymous. With this wonderful freedom comes responsibility. We have to think about how other people feel about the things we are saying. I am all for standing up for your beliefs, but why do we have to do that by belittling others?

Many Helpers

http://gregburdine.com/

I am so thankful for the many people who helped me when I was in the hospital and a little bit after I was released.
As soon as I found out that I was going to be admitted to the hospital, all I could think of was making sure the kids were taken care of. One of the first calls I made was to my kids' dad. He agreed to to pick up the kids from school, take Sean and Noel to their concert and record it, and take the kids home with him for the night (I called them in to school to dismiss them for a family emergency the next day). The following day, he printed up the papers need to sign the boys up for scout camp and to them to their scheduled appointments. The best part was he brought the kids to see me when he stopped by to get their insurance cards. He kept them one more night and dropped Eric off at a friend's birthday party and dropped of the other kids at home. He didn't have to agree to do any of this. He wasn't even going to have them this weekend, but he did it any way.
Another person I called right after being told I was not going home right away was my mother-in-law. I was pretty sure that Chad would not have been able to leave work to be with me since he had only been working at that job for about a week and a half. My mother-in-law is a nurse, and I felt like she would bee able to be my advocate if need be. She and my father-in-law came down as quick as they could. They also came down the following day and were there for me when I was taken to surgery and when I was brought back from recovery. I was nice that I didn't have to be alone.
After my husbands parents came to the hospital, I asked my father-in-law for a blessing. He agreed and asked me to find a second person for the blessing. I called the Tandbergs. Not only did he agree to assist with a blessing, she agree to sit with my primary class on Sunday. They were at the hospital quickly, and the blessing was giving right before the MRI that I had to determine if there was a blockage in my liver as well that would need to be cleared up prior to the gallbladder being removed.
After my in-laws left, the hospital chaplin stopped by and said a prayed for me that helped ease my nerves. He, also, stopped in real quick to make sure I was ok as I was getting ready to go to surgery.
My husband has been amazing since the text I sent him (before calling anyone else). He called as soon as he could. He tried to figure out if he could leave work to be with me. When he got off work, he took his work truck home, grabbed his car, and came to be with me as quickly as he could. Even though the fact that I had very little sleep and was made even more tired from the pain meds made me sleep on and off most of the time he was there. The day of the surgery, he came to get me as soon as possible as well. He got my meds from the pharmacy, went grocery shopping, and sacrificed sleep to take care of me.
After leaving the hospital, I have had ladies from church call or send facebook messages to check on me, meals were brought for three nights, and someone from church came by the house to pick up the papers to make sure the boys are all signed up for camp.
It is easy to sit and feel sorry for myself because my mom can't come to help me, but Heavenly Father has blessed me with many people in my life.

Bad Timing

I couldn't have chosen a worse week to get sick. My kids have a lot going on that I have to miss. Thursday night, instead of going to Sean's band and Noel's choir concert, I was lying in a hospital wondering if I was having surgery in the morning or having a blockage cleared to have surgery the day after. This morning, instead of going to see my daughter's cheer competition, I will likely be sitting at home in pain knitting and watching tv. I also had planned to help with Sean's 5th grade continuation bbq in a few days. I have a feeling I won't be able to do much there either since I have a 5 pound weight limit for the first few weeks.
I hate this. I love watching my kids perform their musical talents. I have put a lot of time and money into cheerleading. I missed Sean's first day of school because I had to work. I don't want to miss this too. I just want to be there to celebrate my kids' accomplishments.

After Surgery

Here I am lying in a Lazy Boy chair sore with an upset stomach. My gallbladder was removed at about 11am yesterday. I was able to go home last night. I just took my Vicodin to help with the pain and I took it with food, but I still feel ill. I don't want to wake my husband because I know he didn't sleep well last nigh because he was so concerned, and he had to work yesterday sine he is in only his second week of training (his parents stayed with me at the hospital). I know he would be willing to help, but I don't know what I need.

Waiting

Yesterday morning, I went to the emergency room in a lot of pain. I was told that my gallbladder needed to come out that afternoon. I was admitted quickly and didn't hear much for hours. Finally, the doctor came in to let me now what was going on. I had to get more testing done to find out if there is a blockage that needed to be cleared prior to surgery. The testing was done about 3:15 pm. I still don't know if I'm having surgery today or if I have a blockage to be cleared today and surgery tomorrow. The longer I have to wait, the scarier this gets.

Shocked (Not in a Good Way)

On our way to the Mammoth (lacrosse) game on Saturday, I decided that since we were going to be very early, I needed to us the restroom, and I have been dealing with kidney pain for some time, I would turn right on the Spear Boulevard exit instead of left to search out a bathroom (there are shops and restaurants that direction). I got out in the rain at Subway to discover that I had to be a paying customer and ask for a key to use the bathroom. I drove a bit further down the street to Walgreens and once again braved the rain to be told that since the pharmacy was closed so were the public restrooms. I decided to wait until we met up with Chad's brother at the Pepsi Center and hope we could get in quickly (not only did I have to pee, it was raining very hard). On our way to the Pepsi Center, I saw something while sitting at the stoplight I hadn't seen since September 1996 at the corner of Federal and 29th (apparently when turning right off the highway, you are on 29th). I saw the funeral home that my mom and bother were taken care of after their death. I honestly had forgotten where it was and had no need to be there since the viewing. This shocked me. My heart sank. On the eve of Mother's Day I was reminded of the loss of my mom. I sure do miss her!

Knitting

knitgrrl

I have been knitting off and on since I was 11 and my mom asked her friend to teach me. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I made most of the baby shower gifts I gave and some wedding presents. I, also, made all the dish cloths in my home. When I went back to work, my knitting slowed down a lot. About a year and a half ago, my husband sat down with me when I was stressed out and needing to find an outlet and helped me to think of hobbies other than watching movies or TV. I mentioned that I really enjoyed knitting and would like to really start doing it again. He has been so supportive in me pursuing this passion.
A little over a year ago, I lady I worked with was making a wedding shawl. It was beautiful. I thought I could never make something like that. I didn't think my knitting skills were good enough. When I found out that she had only been knitting for about a year. This got me working more on expanding my knitting skills. I have yet to make a big beautiful shawl, but I have made two nice shawls, scarfs, hats, and started on a blanket and a pair of socks.
The more I knit, the more I love it!

My Family Tree

I have a new addiction, ancestery.com. We were introduced to it by the missionaries to this wonderful tool a few months ago, but I didn't really get started until last Friday (April 24). Once I started, I was hooked. I have spent most of my free time researching and learning about my ancestors and their families. I even downloaded the app on my phone so I can work on it during the down time at work. 

I just figured all of the research had been done and there was nothing left for me to do. When I was little, my dad and grandma put together a Book of Remembrance full of pedigree charts for both sides of my family. When I was a teenager, my dad would spend his Tuesday nights in the Family History library at church while my sister and I were at our youth activities researching and getting names ready to do temple work. After my mom passed away, I found out that my aunts and uncles were doing a lot of the work as well. 

With so much already done, I didn't know where to start. By linking my familysearch.com profile to ancestery.com, I was able to get a good start. 

The best part about it is that these people are becoming real! I am able to find draft cards, enlistment records, census record, pictures, and more. These people are more than just names and dates on paper to me now. They are PEOPLE. 

My Friend

I have a wonderful friend who has seen me through many of my struggles as an adult. She is the greatest example of service of anyone I know. When I was lonely, she somehow just knew to call or stop by. When I had my first baby, she took me to the store and helped me know what I would personally need for after the baby was born (hygiene products). When I was struggling to feed my kids and considering potty training my oldest, she showed up with food from her food storage and stuff for potty training. When my last marriage was falling apart she was there for me (when I let her be).  There are so many things she has done, I can list them all.
I wish I had as much to give her as she has given me. I can only hope to be the great example of service and sacrifice as she has been to me. She has now moved to another state, but I will always cherish our friendship.

My Sweet Kids

When I got home from work yesterday morning, I was in pain. Not a good kind of pain either. My stomach hurt so bad that I was considering going to the ER to see what was wrong with me. My poor kids had to hear me crying in pain until they went to school. This concerned Sean and Noel. They each made me a "Get Well Soon" card. Sean even had his entire class at school sign it. I am so lucky to have such caring kids!

Be The Change

I have decided that I need to stop expecting people to change around me to make me happy. It isn't that I am completely unhappy. I love my husband and kids. The problem has been I have issues with being depressed. I have decided to be the change I need in my life. 

I know that it is a bit late to make resolutions, but I have decided that this year is going to be about me making the changes in  my life that I need. I am going to get back to the temple this year. I am going to read my scriptures and write in my journal at least 3 times a week. I am going to keep track of what I eat and eat healthier (my first goal is to increase my water intake). I am going to increase my physical activity. 

This is my year of change. I have the family I want. I need to be the wife and mother I want to be.

The Transformer

As I looked though Facebook this last few weeks, I saw many pictures of friends and family members making Halloween costumes for their kids. In the end, you could always tell what they had made (the nerve of these crafty women). I was SO jealous. I wanted to be the mom that desired to make my kids' Halloween costumes. In reality, I would rather buy my kids' costumes which is a good thing because I don't have the time or patience to make costumes.
I tried making a cardboard Transformer costume for my oldest that had working parts this year because that was what he had his little heart set on. We had about 2 weeks from the time he decided on this costume to Halloween. The frustration level as we got closer to Halloween was intense! We finished it the morning of Halloween after the bus has already left. He was happy with the result. (The cute kids in the costumes from Amazon. They were happy, too.)

I loaded him into the car, and took him to school where said costume disintegrated. I am not going through that again! It was not fun!

He went trick-or-treating in a ski mask, black pants, and a black shirt and called himself a bugler. He was happy with the result of both costumes. He impressed his friends at school and went trick-or-treating his last time in a more comfortable costume.
For the moms who enjoy this kind of thing, more power to you. Keep doing your thing. I will be buying my kids' costumes or crafting them out of clothes they can wear on a daily basis when we are done from this point on. I'm just THAT mom.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

About a year before my mom died, she excitedly told me that President Hinckley had read a proclamation in the Relief Society broadcast. She was so excited that this had been introduced to the women of the church first. Little did we know at that time how important it would be as the years went by. At the time of her death, it was still a new thing that was being read here and there if someone found a copy of it. 

In a short time, we were given pamphlets that had this important proclamation printed in it in our church meetings, members were buying nicer copies and framing and hanging them in there households, and parts of it were being quoted in talks about families and parental responsibilities. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (a.k.a. Mormons), this one page document became an integral part of our doctrine.
When my ex-husband decided to leave the Church, I started struggling with this simple doctrine. I felt like it was telling me there was little hope for me and my family. When the marriage was ended, it felt like I was doomed. Even after I married a wonderful man who could help me realize the true blessings of marriage, I still struggled with this simple document.
In August, during a Family Home Evening lesson taught by the missionaries, my eyes were open to the beauty of this proclamation. We read this in its entirety. I am not sure I had done that in the past(if I had it had been a part of a Sunday School or Relief Society lesson where there were many distractions).
As the missionaries, Chad, and I read paragraph by paragraph, I really paid attention. We got to the second to last paragraph:
    We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disinigration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
All of a sudden, I felt a release. I felt like this paragraph was telling me that the decision to file for divorce was the right decision for my family.
This simple small paragraph gave me permission to do as I knew in my heart I needed to do for my family without the permission of the kids' dad. I no longer had to feel guilty for bringing my wonderful husband into our family. He is the husband and father figure this family needs. He is the male role model my kids need. 

Associates Degree? Yes, please!

I finally got it! I finished classes in July, and a few days ago this was delivered by UPS:

I went trough a lot in the process of earning this degree. It took me 5 years to complete. In that 5 years I faced a lot of trials and triumphs. This degree is physical proof that I can overcome what is put before me. There are people who encouraged me and kept me going, of course. Without them, I would have given up. My sister was my cheerleader from the day I told her I signed up for classes and even gave me a place to study  on the lonely weekends after my divorce when I needed it. My friends, Melissa and Suzi, continually told me I was smart enough (the words I REALLY needed to hear prior to and during my divorce). My wonderful husband encouraged me and supported even before we started dating to continue working even though I didn't think I had it in me. He was there for me when I was kicked out due to my grades, and when I decided I would fight to get back in and finish. He was there for me when it was getting late on Saturday nights (the nights my assignments were due) to remind me that I was good enough and deserved to finish. Many times he told me that I was too good to give up. I frustrated him, he frustrated me, but he never let me quit. 

Birthday Week for My Boy

Chad will be working out of town for most of the week. This means he will be getting home late on Sean's birthday (Thursday). Since Chad was so excited to see Sean's face when he opened his presents, we let him open the gift we got him as well as the gifts Chad's parents and brother gave him today. Later this week, we will take him out for his birthday lunch/dinner and he gets to pick our family activity for the weekend. (We only get them one or two weekends out of the month, so we try to make them count.)

Always Changing

There have been a lot of changes in my family in the past few months. I started a new job, Sean attended he last year of Cub Scout Day Camp, and Chad was ordained an Elder in June. I turned 36 (yes, I am being honest about my age), Eric went to Boy Scout Camp for the first time, and we went on a family trip in July. The kids started their first day of 7th, 5th, and 3rd grade in August. As always, there will continue to be changes in this family we just don't always know what they will be.
The job change was a necessary thing. I was working at Convergys and becoming more miserable every day, and the kids were not doing behaving well being at home alone all day once summer began. After speaking to my manager about the signs that the site was going to be closing, I decided that I was being lead in a different direction. I applied at several positions, prayed to find the right job to fit our family's needs, and was hired within a week and a half of applying at Network Global Logistics as a dispatcher. I now work the graveyard shift so that I can be home for my kids, and I feel like my work is actually making a difference in people's lives.
Seeing my sweet boy attend his last year of day camp was bittersweet. He had a lot of fun, and I got to be a part of that for a day. However, this does mean that my sweet little boy is growing up WAY too fast.
When Chad and I were married two and a half years ago it was with the understanding that he was "never" going to be the priesthood holder that most Latter Day Saint women desire to marry. Because of my experiences with my ex-husband, I didn't want that either. Someone else had different plans for us. It is nice to have such a loving, caring man in my life who is teaching me by the example that he sets for the entire family.
Turning 36 was hard. It meant I had been here on Earth just as long without my mom and brother as I was with them. I got through it, though. My husband, kids, and friends are amazing! The gospel is amazing! I would have been miserable on my birthday if I didn't have so many blessings in my life.
Eric survived his first full week (Monday through Friday) without his family. When he returned home on Saturday, we held each other and cried tears of joy. (I imagine it will be this way when I am reunited with my mom and brother someday.) He had a lot of fun and learned may things. He has a great scout leader that helped him get through being homesick and a best friend that was by is side for most of the time they spent there.
We went camping and fishing for the weekend as a family at the end of July. We had so much fun that we plan to do it again at least once next year (hopefully without the heavy wind).
Back to School Night came with the reality that my baby is now going to the big kids' hall at school. Somehow it is easier to have the oldest in middle school and the middle one in his last year of elementary. As I walked with the littlest of my clan across the hall from the middle one, tears welled up in my eyes. How can she be big enough for this already?
I love my family. I am glad that we get to grow and change together. Some changes are planned. Some are not as planned. Planned or not planned, we have been blessed in many ways.

me had a hamster once.

This is my hamster, Lucy.(lu-SEE)She passed away today. And by the way, this is Sean. She was soft, fluffy, and so CUTE! She was the best of all three of my hamsters. I also found a couple weird al songs. here is our favorite.

FUNNY STUFF!