Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts

Friday, May 9, 2025

Getting Closer

I finally started my internship this week, and I love it! I have wanted to be part of the solution for so long. With this position, I can finally do just that. 


I am working 16 hours a week with Catholic Charities helping people who need it. I have only done 2 shifts so far, but I have already learned a lot about helping those in shelters. I have mostly observed at this point, but I can't wait until I am trained enough to have a more active role. 

When I was getting divorced, it was known that my job sucked and I wanted a different one. When asked what I wanted to do, I would just say, "I want to make a REAL difference." The problem was I didn't know what I wanted to do or how to do it. All I knew was working in a call center was not going to get me there. 

About 4 years later, after earning an associates degree in business, I decided to go back to school. This time I started with the Pathways program and transitioned into online classes through BYU Idaho. This time I prayed about the program in which I would be enrolled and what career I would be working towards. I had the distinct impression that I should work an a degree in marriage and family studies with the goal of working in a shelter. I have worked hard on this goal while working a full time job in the shipping industry, raising 3 kids, working to have a healthy relationship with my husband, and growing my faith in my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. 

This internship is the last step to achieving the goal of getting my bachelor's degree and a big step towards what will hopefully be a fulfilling career helping people who need it rather than helping line the pockets of corporate executives. Leaning what little I have at this point, makes me want to learn more and strengthens my resolve to do what I can to make this world a better place for those who need it the most. I can't wait to see what the future brings!

Thursday, March 21, 2024

Probably Need Help

My mind has been doing fun things lately. I am scared of way too many things. I don’t know when or how this happened. I understand being afraid of car accidents or being worried about the death of a loved one, but I don’t understand why I am so scared of the future right now. It seems like the closer I get to graduation, the more I am shutting down. I am excited to be done with school. I’m excited for my daughter to be done with school.

 I just don’t know what the future holds for any of us right now. Could this be because I have been fighting for everything for so long that I can’t just let it go. Maybe this change to a more traditional lifestyle will be the cure for what ails me. I just hope it isn’t the cause. I’m not great with big change, and I am plunging into it head first while being forced into one of the biggest transitions of my life. 

I know I should probably get therapy, but that is not in the cards for me right now. I am already spending more on therapy and doctor bills per month for my kid than I am saving in my HSA account. I just need the world to stop turning for a little bit so I can get my bearings.