Sunday, June 30, 2013

School Decisions

I have been trying to make the decision on what school I will be attending. I know that I need to finish a degree program. There are just a few questions that need to be answered: What program do I need to complete? Where should I go?
To really start this story properly, I would have to go back to September of 2007. I was at Women's Conference and President Thomas S. Monson (at the time he was the First Counselor in the General Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints) gave a talk that spoke to me more than any other conference talk has spoken to be in my life. More specifically two paragraphs spoke to me loud and clear. He said, "Beyond our study of spiritual matters, secular learning is also essential. Often the future is unknown; therefore, it behooves us to prepare for uncertainties. Statistics reveal that at some time, because of the illness or death of a husband or because of economic necessity, you may find yourself in the role of financial provider. Some of you already occupy that role. I urge you to pursue your education—if you are not already doing so or have not done so—that you might be prepared to provide if circumstances necessitate such.
"Your talents will expand as you study and learn. You will be able to better assist your families in their learning, and you will have peace of mind in knowing that you have prepared yourself for the eventualities that you may encounter in life." 
At the time, I didn't feel like I had a reason to question the relationship I was in. It wasn't great, but I didn't get married to get divorced. The person I was married to at that time had a full time job that was providing for us, and he was going to school. We were temple recommend holders, and lived the lifestyle that went along with that (at least that was what I thought). When I told him about this talk and how it really made me feel like I needed to go to school and get an education, he told me that I couldn't go because I wouldn't be able to handle the temptation and might cheat on him. (For those of you who know the story of my divorce, this is quite an interesting response.) I still couldn't shake this nagging feeling that I needed to go to school.

Skip ahead almost two years. The ex revealed some devastating news, and we separated for the first time. I could make decisions for myself. I started looking into schools and decided that online school would be best because I would have to go to work and leave my kids for the first time and didn't want to leave them for school as well. I decided to attend Everest Online University online and started less than a month later. I love it back then. I felt like I was finally accomplishing this goal that felt like a dream for what seemed like forever.
Now here I am, married to my best friend, someone who respects me, pushed me to reach my true potential, tries to help my reach my goals, and love me with all my quirks. I have been kicked out of school now twice. The first time during my divorce for not attending classes, and the second time for my GPA. I am being recruited back to Everest Online University, but I am trying to decide if it is really the right fit considering it has been four years since I started and I have yet to finish my two year degree. I have looked into other schools, and really like the idea of going to BYU-Idaho's online program. The only problem I have with that is as a transfer student they want me to have a GPA of 2.5 or greater. Mine was far lower than that. I looked into CSU Global Campus, but it just doesn't feel right for some reason.
 I am putting more research and thought it school than I have in the past. I have prayed about it a few times. For now, I feel like I should go back to Everest for at least a little while and raise my GPA so that I can open up more options. I don't think that I will finish my degree at this school because they make it really difficult to stay motivated by making me jump through hoops just to get signed up for classes each term. I know that I need to finish a degree program, I need to set an example for my kids, I need to have more opportunities for greater income and better jobs, and most of all, I need to show myself that I can accomplish a long term goal that I have set for myself.

1 comment:

taradon said...

Keep going and you can do it! And you really will set an example for your kids about the value of education. My mom started working on her college degree when I was in 6th grade. It took a long time, but she finally finished her degree and graduated the same day I graduated with my Master's degree. It was really special to see her finally meet her goal (and she eventualy went on and got her Master's degree too) and it REALLY showed me as I was growing up how important it was that I finish my education. You can do it!!