Cheesecake Brownies

Chad likes to bake, but with the hot weather and lack of AC, he has not baked much in the past few months. A few days ago, Noel said that she wanted some kind of dessert, so Chad went into action trying to narrow down the perfect one for her. He narrowed it down to two: slutty brownies and cheesecake brownies. Since we had just bought some Oreo based cookies at Crumbl, she chose cheesecake brownies. We bought the ingredients Monday during our regular grocery trip; he baked the yesterday morning before the house got too hot; and we ate them with dinner last night. I love when Noel gets an idea and he bakes it! I can't wait to find out what's next!

26 Years

It has been 26 years since I heard the worst news of my life; my mom and brother had died in a car accident. This one moment has affected my entire adult life. I graduated high school, got married (twice), and had three babies since they left. I would give almost anything to have them back. 

This Man

 

vacation photo

Who knew when I got divorced that I would end up in a relationship in which I would be treated the way I had always dreamed of having. I am a people watcher and a dreamer. As I lived through a marriage in which I was treated as less than the person I was married to, I could see how my friends were treated by their husbands and wished I would be treated that way as well. We had some good times. I tell my kids about the good things he did because no kid needs to hear that a parent they love was not that great of a person. Honestly, I didn't realize how bad the relationship was until after Noel was born as I struggled with a bit of depression (that is a story for another time). In reality, I didn't trust him for most of the marriage (for good reason). To say I was miserable for the last few years of that marriage is an understatement. The thing is that I didn't want to get divorced because I didn't want that for my kids, and I just wanted to be married. 

Around the time I filed for divorce, I met Chad at work. We quickly became friends. While I dated another man over the summer, Chad was the person I confided in more than anyone else. A few months after that man and I broke up, Chad and I started dating. A month later, we started talking about getting married. A few months later, we were married. In hindsight, I can see how the timeline was a bit fast, but it just felt natural. We were meant to be together. Do we fight? Yes. I dare you to find a couple that doesn't. (I know there are some that say they don't, but I don't believe them.) Do we drive each other crazy? Of course! I work from home and he has three days off a week. That means we have too much time together sometimes. However, we love each other. We respect each other. We have the give and take I was missing in the last marriage. We both work. We both clean. This is what I wanted in a marriage! 

How are the goals?

Things went horribly for my goals last week. Having two days off of work threw things out of whack to begin with. Then, one person in the household had a change in schedule which made them too tired to do things they were previously doing (being vague on purpose). Also, we had a lot of junk food left over from our trip, and I seem to think that the best way to get rid of it is to eat it. I know, that is not the best of plans. So...I ended the week with the house messier and my gut larger than it was at the beginning of the week. Seriously, Chand and I even fell behind on laundry (Sean and Noel do their own). 

Good news is that I am ready to get back on track. I am starting to track my food. I cleaned when I got up to get me on the right track right away. In fact, I completed four of my main goals in the first few hours of my day. The part that makes me happiest: I am back on a running plan. By the end of November, I will be able to run a 10K again. I am currently looking for a virtual 10K that I can do around Thanksgiving. That way I can do it on the treadmill at the gym if needed. 

I will keep this blog updated on my running progress. I am really excited to jump back in after not really doing it for so long. 

Mount Rushmore

The final stop on our trip was Mount Rushmore. This was the main reason for us going to South Dakota. I have been wanting to see it for a very long time. I had always thought it was just too far away, but after a few families from church went last year, I discovered it was only five or six hours away. This made the trip more realistic for us. As we planned for this trip, the excitement built up, and I started to worry that I would be disappointed once we got there. I was not. It was even more amazing than I had imagined. Thankfully, it was suggested that we take the Presidential Trail. This gave us even better views of this amazing landmark. There really isn't much more to say about it, so I am just going to post more pictures. 

I was Chosen

I got a call from HR today to let me know my transfer was being put through along with a bit of a raise. I knew about the transfer. It has been about a month in the making. I will officially go back to the billing department without having to go back on the phones. 

Last winter, it was discovered that I was looking for a new job. To keep me with the company, I was offered a position in dispatch with a former boss at the wage I felt I needed to better care for my family. In December, I transitioned over to do the financial work needed to prepare orders to be processed by the billing department which was really just the one guy who had transitioned from another billing department, my boss before I moved over to dispatch. I spent a little over six months doing this until a reorganization of our little part of the company happened which dumped dispatch into the call center meaning I would eventually be expected to dispatch and work customer service on the phones. (I do not want to ever work a call center job again.) At this point, I was told a position would be opening under my previous boss. I called him and requested to be taken back explaining the reasons I had left and my desire for the future. For the first time in the six years I have known him, I heard excitement in his voice. Since that day, he has worked hard sending emails and making calls trying to get my transfer put through without having to deal with the application and interviewing process. Anytime he had updates, he would let me know. 

Today, I finally got the call we have both been waiting for. My transfer is going through along with a raise per the request of my boss. I was so excited! I was chosen for this position because of my work ethic and knowledge. After working to other side and gaining more knowledge, I have increased my value to the company. It feels so good to be making these strides professionally on my own merits and to be specifically chosen. And to top it all off, I get to be married to someone who is proud of my accomplishments! 

Crazy Horse Memorial

After making a few stops for items we needed (mostly water) and some ice cream (check out The Purple Pie Place in Custer if you ever find yourself out there), we made our way to the Crazy Horse Memorial. This was the one part of our trip that I had  no preconceived notions about because it is not talked about as much, but I was ready to experience it. Of course, it was easy to find by following the signs and seeing the big rock with a face carved into it. By the time we got there, I was exhausted.( I had a hard time sleeping the night before and had gotten up early. Also, we had just done an hour and a half cave tour up and down stairs.) After paying to get in, we parked the car and headed into the museum. There were so many artifacts as well as modern art of the Native American people from all over. I was in awe at the intricacies displayed for the public. As we walked through, we could see clothing, dolls, pictures, and more including a copy of the letter written by Chief Henry Standing Bear requesting this memorial be made to celebrate his heritage and that of his people. In it he said, "My fellow chiefs would like the white man to know the red man has great heroes too." 

As we looked out the windows and stood on the deck, we could see the massive undertaking happening across the way. In the large mountain, a face has been carved and more is being carved. This has been worked on for many years and is still far away from being finished. I am sure it will not be completed in my lifetime. However, it will be even more stunning when it is. 

Over all, this was a good experience, but it was a bit overpriced. I understand what the ticket price goes to, and I will not say that it is not a good cause. It is a great opportunity to learn about this part of the heritage of this country. I really wish it was more reasonably priced through especially considering there is a restaurant, gift shop, and snack bar to supplement the ticket sales. 

Jewel Cave Tour

On the second day of our trip, we have three stops. The first of which was a cave tour. After having a relaxing morning at the cabin, we cleaned up, locked up, and headed out for the cave tour we had booked in advance. When we mapped it from home, it was about 45 minutes from the cabin to Wind Cave National Park, so we left about an hour before the scheduled tour. We entered our destination into the GPS and were on our way just to discover that we actually had an hour and a half drive ahead of us. As I sped down dirt mountain road at speedy 30 miles per hour, we had to resign to the fact that we were going to miss the tour. Disappointed, we decided to just keep driving to see what else we could do. Then, we saw signs directing us to Jewel Cave National Monument. Luckily, we were able to book a lantern tour about an hour later.

The tour we ended up going on because of a miscalculation in time ended up being amazing. We met at the historical cabin that had originally been used as quarters for the forest service member giving tours as well as the visitor's center. Then, we hiked a bit to the other side of the mountain and into the cave. We walked as a group from "room" to "room" with a guide who told us the history and geology of the cave while half of the people in the group held LED light lanterns. The stairs were steep and narrow. Some of the areas required us to duck. It was a bit chilly. Those things were all not important. It was an awesome cave and the guide was engaging. I would highly recommend this tour to anyone. 

The Cabin

Upon receiving a quarterly bonus in the spring, Chad did a Google search for cabins near Mt. Rushmore knowing that I have wanted to go there most of my life and have felt an even greater desire to go over the last few years as other people we know have gone. That afternoon he tells me he has found a cabin to rent that is only $35 per night. The only catch is that we have to bring our own mattresses and it does not have a shower and the toilet is in an outhouse. I was so excited that he was planning a trip to Mt. Rushmore that I of course told him to go ahead and book it not really knowing anything else about the cabin. 

Through the months, I was given more details about the cabin. Each detail I was given made the it sound less ideal. A few weeks before we were to leave, Chad shows me pictures and all that registers in my brain is that there are bunkbeds. At this point, I'm starting to wonder why we would be camping in a cabin where it seemed we wouldn't even be able to sleep in the same bed. I still really wanted to go to Mt. Rushmore and the cave tour that we had planned and didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I didn't say anything about my hesitance to stay in a cabin with no electricity, no shower, and an outhouse. I thought that we would basically be camping in a wood tent with bunkbeds. 

The night before leaving, we went online and mapped out our route to the Summit Ridge Lookout Cabin. We discover it is closer to the Wyoming/South Dakota border than we had thought. In fact, it was about an hour and a half from our main destination, Mt. Rushmore. This was one more strike for the cabin I did not the most interesting details about. 

As the morning of our departure arrives, Chad loads up the car with our camping gear minus the tent and prints off the directions in case we lose GPS signal or our phones overheat in our non-airconditioned  as we drive. Then, we make the 6ish hour drive to our home for the weekend.

As we drive up to this lone cabin in the woods, I find out the most interesting detail about this cabin which makes all of the inconveniences completely worth it. This cabin was the quarters of the people who served as fire lookouts for the tower across the way. The cabin was built by the Civilian Conservation Corps in 1942 and housed lookout until 1972. 

As we entered the cabin, I grew to love it even more! I couldn't believe how lucky we were to be able to stay in a piece of history. After getting settled in, we decided to hike on a nearby trail. About a quarter of a mile into our hike, we crossed the border from South Dakota back into Wyoming. I don't know many people who have been able to say they hiked in two states in one day. (Yes. I know people do it. I just don't know them.) After our hike, we played card games in the little kitchen until it was time to make our campfire and cook dinner. Later that night, we sat around the fire enjoying the still of the night. As the day turned to night, we could see stars popping out in a beautiful way. Eventually, it was completely dark and the fire was out. We looked up and saw the most glorious vision I have seen in a long time. I am not sure I have been that far away from all lights ever. There were more stars than I knew was possible to see with the naked eye. Once I again, I was reminded how lucky we were to have booked this cabin. Words cannot express how much I loved the time we were able to spend in this cabin. I hope to be able to take the kids up there at some point so they can take in how amazing it is. 

We Went on a Trip

This last weekend, Chad and I went to South Dakota. Up to this point I was the only one in my household that had not seen Mount Rushmore, and I really wanted to. The kids went several years ago with their grandparents, and Chad went as a teenager. They all talked about it like it wasn’t really that impressive, but I didn’t care. I still wanted to go. Now, I can finally say I have gone, and I loved it. They were all wrong. I was impressed! 

This week, my blog entries will be centered on this trip. I loved everything about it, and I want to make sure to write all about it while I still remember with pictures included. I can’t wait to relive these experiences day by day!

Rise (movie review)

The movie Rise brought tears to my eyes. (I watched it on Hulu, but it is also on Disney+.) This is a movie about a family that wants more than anything to find a way to live legally in a country where they can feel safe and have greater opportunities. They worry about being deported and are always on the lookout for police. While living in their chosen county, four children are born. These children are considered citizens by birth but are not given all of the rights of citizens because of the questionable status of their parents. 

As the older two boys become teenagers, they learn about basketball and decide to join an after school program. They have a natural ability and have recruiters watching them. When the oldest is recruited to a team in which he could be paid, the offer is rescinded when the family's past is discovered. Then, the second son has an agent interested in him. This son makes it clear that he will go nowhere unless his family can go with him in good standing. The solution the sports agent came up with was to have him sign with Spain in order to be eligible for the NBA draft. 

This family had been living in Greece where they had better life than they had in Nigeria. They worked hard to make ends meet and tried to get legal status in Greece but were unable to do so. They were only able to have the life they dreamed of having when one was drafted by the NBA allowing him eventually reunite his family in the United States.

This movie is based on the true story of the Antetokounmpo family who worked hard for what they were given. I strongly encourage anyone to watch this movie. It is inspiring and eye opening. Of course, I cried at the end. (I do that for a lot of movies.)

I learned a lot from this movie about how good we have it being legal citizens in the country we love. We do not have to live in constant fear of being taken away from our family. We are able to have gainful employment that allows us to pay our bills. We do not have to rely on our children to help create income. I am so happy that I have been blessed in this way. 

Ancestry Fun

I have been considering asking my cousins on my dad’s side if they would like to do a reunion of sorts in the next few years. If they are interested, I would want to get an Air B&B in South Haven around my grandparents anniversary. While thinking about that this morning, I opened my Ancestry app to figure out if a big one would be any time soon. As it turns out, their 75th anniversary would be next year. I’m not sure I could get something like that put together that soon. We’ll see…

As I was on the app, it showed me a collage of pictures put together of some of my ancestors and me. This one is my 2nd great grandmother, my great grandmother, my mom, and me.

With so little connection to my mom’s side, I love seeing that I have a place there. I really love seeing this picture of me next to my mom. I miss her so much. I can’t wait until I can be with her again in the next life. 

Goal Reset

I have been so far off on my goals for the year that it has been frustrating. I was at my highest weight about a month ago and have been trying to figure out how to get back on track. After learning of a friend's bullet journal and seeing some examples, I decided that I wanted to try it in a way with what I have around the house. I started with my planner that I used while I was still in school and broke down daily tasks. 

After that, I looked on Pinterest for ideas of things I could put on my wall around my desk to remind me and help me track my more long term goals. For example, I made a goal to complete 2022 miles this year through daily activities as well as exercise. I'm not doing well at that goal, and I think it is because I am tracking it on an app that I don't open very often. By having this on my wall I can see how much closer I get daily (I have a feeling that I will be spending a lot of time on the bike at the gym as we get closer to the end of the year). 

This is what I came up with to help me through the rest of this month: 

I, also, made a chart to track my weight loss (I'm not ready to make this one public), servings of fruit, and daily steps. I don't know where this will take me, but I am willing to find out with high hopes of getting closer to my goals. 

Chad's Cooking

Chad is definitely his father's son. He's a sucker for a good recipe, and we get to eat what he cooks Sundays and Mondays. Most of the time, it is really good. 

Other than eating, what part to I play in this? I try to find him cookbooks that aren't the average Betty Crocker books. So far this year, I found a Disneyland cookbook and a Shaq cookbook. He doesn't bake or cook from the Disneyland book right now because it has been so hot, but he has been trying to make at least one recipe from Shaq's cookbook a week when we can find all of the ingredients (cube steaks have been surprisingly hard to find). 

What kind of recipes does Shaq include in this book? High fat, heavy, large meals. When I say "meals," I mean MEALS! Last night, we had chicken fried steak (made with hamburgers since we could not find cube steak) and mashed potatoes. After all four of us had eaten, there was still several "fried steaks" along with most of the gravy and mashed potatoes remaining. I was really good, and I am hoping it is tasty today as well. However, I am thinking we may need to start inviting people over for Sunday dinners if he keeps making these recipes.  

Haircut

A few days ago, Noel asked if she could try cutting her own hair. This is not something foreign to her. She has been making attempts at this dice she was 4. Of course, it did not go well when she was little. Back then, she would get in trouble when she would do it. When she asked this time, I was reluctant but figured it wouldn’t really hurt anything if she tried. We had the money to take her to Supercuts if it didn’t work out. Plus, she has been doing the shaping pieces around her face for years (she thinks I don’t know this). After being given the green light, she went to work. When she came out of her room, we were pleasantly surprised. She had done a better job than a few “professionals” that has done it in the past. After taking a few pictures, I offered to clean up the few stragglers that weren’t that noticeable but would have bothered her. I was shocked when she brought me her scissors: school scissors from elementary school. I was and am still very impressed what she was able to do to her own hair with children’s scissors!

Need to Act

 “I have looked upon thee and thy works. I have heard thy prayers, and prepared thee for a greater work.” - Docterine and Covenants 35:3

This morning, I listened to Elder Ciro Schmeil's talk, Faith to Act and Become, as I started my day. I liked it so much that I listened to it twice. I felt he was talking to me when he was talking to me in the "Talk to Become" section. He talks about Nephi and his brothers getting the brass plates. They were instructed by the Lord to go to Laban for the plate. Nephi said he would do so because the Lord had instructed him to do so. When his brothers questioned the wisdom in doing this because it was a difficult task, Nephi said that he would do as the Lord instructed him knowing he would have divine help. They were met with a lot of opposition, but Nephi did not give up. In the end, he was shown the way to complete his task and did so without the help of his brothers. 

Growing up, this story was always relayed to show the faith Nephi had. Elder Schmiel relayed it as a story to illustrate how the Lord will help us as we earnestly seek for answers. He points out that we are not given an easy life with all of the answers just because we believe. We have to find our own answers as we learn from the struggles we face. (Sound similar to what I was writing about earlier this week?)

As he continued speaking, Elder Schmiel, talked about not comparing our life's journey with others around us. This is where it really felt like he was talking to me. I often compare myself to others who appear to be or I am told are better than me. I need to remember that my life has been different from theirs. No one has been through the exact same journey. About this he said, "We must keep in mind that this is not a competition, and we are here to love and help each other." 

When we act in faith to be like our Savior, we can lose ourselves in His work. We are not going to be given an easy life, but He did not have an easy life either. We will be given help to overcome our obstacles as we search for answers and work to help ourselves and others. This may look different from those around us, but that is ok. That does not diminish our worth or their. It just means we are different people which is good. 

Mitten Progress for Today

Near the end of last week I knitted up to the thumb hole of my mitten and was stalled until I took the time to watch the next video. Today, I sat down to watch the video on how to ready the thumb hole. I felt a bit silly for procrastinating when I realized it was only about 2 minutes long. Once I learned how to do that part, I got into the groove for about an hour and a half. I am now almost half done with the first mitten. I am happy with how it is turning out. 

I Love It

 Eric moved our a little over a year ago, and I don't get to see or talk to him as much as I would like anymore. Yesterday, I realized it had been about three weeks since I had seen him and was about to text or call him when he called. I was so excited and answered right away. I am usually the one that has to call him, so I was a little worried about him. He actually had just called to ask if he could come over for dinner tonight. After assuring me that everything was fine, we set up a time for him to come over and hung up.

Tonight, he and his girlfriend came over for dinner. First, he wanted to show me the car he got, a 1989 Honda Civic. He was so excited to show it off! After dinner, they stayed for a fun conversation and played a game before heading out.

I love that my boy still wants to hang out with his mom. I love my kids so much and hope they all call just to have dinner and play a game through the years. I could not imagine my life without these wonderful humans!

"We Have NO Food in the House!"

My daughter is always telling me there is no food in the house. That seems odd to me since we buy groceries every Monday and always ask her what she wants or needs from the store as we make the list. It is true that we have less food in the house by Sunday night than I would like, but we have lived on far less. For example, when she was a toddler, there was a time that we basically lived off of the corn flakes we got from the food bank for a few weeks because the rest of the food they gave us was not really edible and the only person who had a paying job in the house did not make enough for us to really get by. Another example would be when we would go "shopping at Grandma's" after my divorce every time she babysat because I did not have enough of even the staples in the house and my hours kept getting cut at work. She doesn't remember these times, though. Thank goodness! We always have food in the house. (One of the bright spots in my life at the time.) Sometimes the food is more plentiful than others for various reasons. I remember the days when the only grocery budget I had was the money I got from babysitting a few days a week because the money that had been used for groceries was eaten up by a motorcycle payment. Thank goodness those days are long gone!

I thought it would be interesting to take a picture of my cupboards and fridge the day after going grocery shopping last week and again today before we went to the store. I did forget to take pictures of the freezers, but I think this give a good representation of the food supply we keep in our home.

The fridge last week:

The fridge today:

The top two shelves of the panty (the other shelves have other kitchen items on them) last week:

The pantry today:

The cupboard last week:

The cupboard today:

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

This week, we have been learning about Job for our scripture study. The main question that has been asked is, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" This is a question asked by everyone. It has been used to try to pull people away from their religious beliefs. I think it will always be asked and used in this way. The truth is, we do not always know why we have to go through though things. All we can do is trust that we will get through it better than we were. 

There was a time when I sat in my bishop's office and asked why I had to go through so many hard things in my life. He had no answers for me. It is just a part of life. We knew when we fought to come to Earth and follow Christ's plan that we would be tried. This was not the answer I was looking for because I really wanted a "real reason" for why I had to go through one more thing that I was not sure I could handle. It wasn't until a few years later that I started to find answers. Now they seem to be everywhere. 

In Sunday School today, we got deeper into this conversation. There was one quote that hit me from Spencer W. Kimball that really hit me. In 1972 he said:

"If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, if all the righteous were protected and wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the gospel, free agency, would be ended. No man would have to live by faith.

"If joy and peace and rewards were instantaneously given to the doer of good, there could be no evil - al would do good but not because of the rightness of doing good. There would be no test of strength, no development of character, no growth of powers, no free agency, only satanic controls."

Reprieve From the Heat

There was a time when I would say I would love to live in Arizona because I could handle heat better then the cold because the coldest days cause me physical pain if I go outside in it. Those days are gone. This year, we have had a vey hot summer with more than 40 days over 90 including a handful of days over 100. It has really taken a toll on my body. 

We don’t have central air in our home. Instead we have 3 window AC units and some fans that have been struggling to keep the house cool enough to be comfortable. I have been trying everything I can remember from growing up without AC at all, but the house has continued to be a bit hot for my taste. We really have just needed a day of rain to cool us off. 

Over the past week, there were several days with at least a 10% chance of rain. I hoped each time that this would be the day we got a bit of a reprieve. It finally came yesterday. We had a very warm day where I was in my car with a broken air conditioner fat more than I would have liked. When I was done with the necessary running around, I went to bed for a nap with fans directed at me. By the time I woke up, Brighton had a storm coming in cooling us off considerably. It felt so good! 

Today, we have another chance of rain and are expected to have a high below 90. It doesn’t look like it will last long, but I am so happy for the reprieve!

Memes

I have been collecting these, and I don’t really know what to do with them. Some of them have real meaning. Some of them are just plain funny. 

As They Sleep

As I sit here working in an quiet house with my son and daughter sleeping away the day, my brain has been spiraling out of control. Memories of the past have come flooding back, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Maybe if I were to sleep better this wouldn’t happen. 

I have experienced trauma in my life. I try to tell myself that since I haven’t been through as much as other people, it isn’t that bad. The reality is that this trauma has shaped who I am as a wife, mother, student, employee, and woman in the world. There are people who claim that I caused them the hardship instead of the other way around. There are people who claim nothing ever happened. There are those whom I haven’t seen or talked to in many years and don’t even know if they are still living. No matter what the circumstances are currently, many events that unfolded in my past still affect me no matter how much I try to push them aside. 

I wish I could be one of those people who could move past these things. I wish I were as strong as I pretend to be. Maybe some day. For today, I will sit in my quiet house as my children sleep, trying to get my work done while on the verge of tears praying for this burden to once again be lifted from me. 

Creamed Eggs

The left overs I happily ate for lunch.

When I was married to my first husband, I got some recipes from his mother that are very good. Some of them have become Thanksgiving traditions such as Cheesy Broccoli. Some of them have not been made much because I have children who are very picky eaters. Once of these recipes is Creamed Eggs. 

I have a recipe card with the recipe for Creamed Eggs written on it just like I do for the recipes that get used the most as well as any recipes I was given by other people. Most of these cards sit in a box that my mom used to use for addresses, phone numbers, and birthday. This recipe sat in a beer stein I got for my high school graduation that I use for pens and markers. Last week, when looking for something for Noel to write with, she asked me what was on the card. I showed it to her, and she said it sounded good, so I agreed to make it on one of my nights to cook. Last night was that night. 

As we sat down at the table with this mixture of mostly eggs and cheese with a can of olives mixed in, I was given mixed reviews. Sean ate only toast. (He knows not to say something looks gross and to just eat something on the table.) Noel happily grabbed a piece of toast and put the egg mixture over the top of it like gravy and ate it saying how good it was and how she wished we would have had it before (really she just doesn't remember having it when she was little). Chad kind of snubbed his nose at it but still took two pieces of toast and ate it. In the end, he said that he liked it as well. 

I'm glad Noel found this recipe. It was well received and very easy to make. It will for sure make its way into our rotation!

More Mitten Progress

 

I worked up more of the first mitten today. After about an hour, I completed 7 more rows. Knitting with two hands is not easy. I have dropped stitches a few times, lost count more than once, and had to tink back three times. Even with these problems, I am still loving the process. If I had been told 10 years ago that I would be learning colorwork, I would have laughed at them. Look at me now. I'm doing it! 

Decision Made (For Now)

I have decided I am not going to open my blog up all of the way. I'm also not going to make it completely private. What does this mean for me? Not much. I will keep posting as I see fit. I just won't post about specific people on here.

This blog will continue to not be searchable. It can and will be only found by those who have been given the link or found it on social media accounts. (That means people can’t accidentally stumble across it.) It's how it has been since about 2008 or 2009, and it has worked for me so far. I am not interested in becoming internet famous. If that were my intent, I would not be using a format that most people don't even bother with anymore. I am interesting in airing out my opinions and telling my story. 

There may be a day when my kids will wonder as I have who their mother was and what she thought about as I have many times. I don't want my kids to have to wonder this. I don't have journals or recording of any kind from my mom. I can't even get her family members to tell me memories of her. When I die (hopefully many, many years from now), I hope my kids are given my blog, journals, pictures, etc.