Love My Space Heater

Because of my health issues, I get cold very easy, and it hard for me to warm up once I am cold. I have been told by my family that I make the house too hot. This was not an issue last year because I was the only one home most days. This year has been different. The kids are always home, and Noel's room is the first to warm up meaning it is often too warm in there before the rest of the house has the chance to catch up. Also, my room and bathroom are the last rooms to heat up, and the wall that my desk is on seems to be even worse. That all means that I have my space heater going in the morning while I wait for it to warm up outside. I will probably run even longer as it gets colder. 

Inflation is not a new concept

"This present era seems very similar in many ways to those turbulent war years. Today we face many perplexing issues. In addition to significant international political problems, we are experiencing one of the most difficult economic periods we have faced in many decades—the problem of inflation and personal financial management." 

I love reading older talks that are still applicable today. This talk was from 1979. I was a year old, so I don't particularly remember the economic and political temperature of the day. If it was anything like today, I could imagine that the inflation rate and looming recession were not fun at all. This talk gives guideline that, if followed consistently, could help people reach their economic goals. Some of these ideas, such as being more diciplined with our spending, are lessons that I have learned the hard way during my twenties and thirties. I am still working to dig myself out of a few holes because of out of control spending on my part as well as others. 

Jack-o-Lantern

 

Noel designed a jack-o-lantern, and someone else carved it last night. I think it is cute. Of course, all she seems to see are the teeth the fell off. I wish she could see what I see. 

I am Malala: Young Readers Edition

A little over a week ago, I finished I am Malala: Young Readers Edition. I started this book 3 or 4 years ago when I was taking a class about Pakistan. I didn’t finish it because I realized I did not have the right edition. I was supposed to have the regular version. I ended up borrowing the audiobook on the Libby app to make it through the class work, and I am glad I did. The book I read is good, but it does not have the details the original book has. The good thing about both books is that it inspires people to stand up for what the believe in and shows how many freedoms we take advantage of in this country. 

Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone trying to teach middle school students about differences in cultures, the affects of oppression, and resilience. Malala did amazing things at such a young age! 

I Voted Today

 

I have not voted at a polling place since moving here, and I am not ashamed of that. When I moved here, it was considered a rural area. (With all of the growth over the past few years, I am not totally sure that is still true.) When I registered at this address, I was asked if I wanted to vote by mail, and I checked that box because I really didn’t know where I would vote otherwise. 

I can’t say I have voted every year. There were times I missed the deadline because I am a procrastinator. However, I can say I have voted in most elections that I have felt passionate about including in 2020 and this one.

For the most part, I will not tell people who or what I voted for because I don’t feel it is any of their business, and I have received hate from people on both side when I have let it slip. I vote according to my convictions. I study candidates and issues and decide what I feel is best. I refuse to vote party lines because I believe one of the big problems with this country is the predominantly two party system. 

It is important to vote. It is important to follow your heart when doing so. The elections are becoming more and more important. We can’t leave it up to just a few people to determine our fate. 

October Dinners

 Have you ever looked at your dinner menu and thought, “It looks like a bunch of little kids planned most of our dinners!” The youngest person in our house will be 17 next month. 

Running Injury

 

Today took an odd turn when this guy called me needing me to pick him up. I was working, and he was out for a run when I got the call. I answered thinking he had seen something he just HAD to tell me about. (That has never happened, but it could. Right? Maybe?) Instead, my out-of-breath husband told me he had tripped and was bleeding a lot. I had him send me his location and hurried out to the car. 

When I found him, he was covered in blood and in pain and explained that he had tripped on the uneven sidewalk as he ran and injured his nose. I had no way of knowing if it was broken, but it looked like he at least needed stitches. I told him he needed to go to the ER or Urgent Care. It didn’t take long to convince him to let me take him, so I called my boss and drove to Urgent Care per his request. 

When we arrived, Chad was assessed for a concussion, broken nose, and the need for stitches. Thankfully, all he needed was a bit of derma bond for the lacerations, and we were told what to look for in case it is broken. 

Now, he gets to take ibuprofen every four hours as the bruising gets darker as we wait to find out if he is going to look like a raccoon. I have assured him there are better ways to get my attention. 

Nonfiction Reading

A little over a week ago I made a list of all of the books I had around the house that I either wanted to finish or wanted to read entirely. Then, my best friend recommended another book that I KNEW I had to read. My plan was to wait until I got paid on Friday to get it, but there was a sale, so Chad and I each got a copy and started reading right away. (She got me a copy as well which I gave to another good friend.) 

Chad and I are each reading this book at our own pace and really liking it. As I read I am underlining parts that stick out to me and glad that I have my own copy to mark up as I feel necessary. I kind of wish I was reading at the same pace as Chad, but we have different reading goals. I’m ok with that. 

My plan is to start writing reviews as I finish my books, so expect a review on this book in a week or two. I will name the book at that time. I realize I need to write about the book I finished last week. I will get that done in the next few days. I know I am a slow reader, so book reviews won’t be as often as they would be for other people. I’m ok with that. I’m 

Not My Imagination

This is why I do not really feel the raises I got over the past year. I am not one of those people who will publicly scream about inflation, but I am one of these people who feel this strain. I hate spending $300 per week for groceries. 

We have financial goals that we are struggling to meet and thought there would be some relief when I got a raise in December and again a few months ago. We are able to work on some but not how we planned. For now, I will have to be happy that we are able to do that. There was a time we were not able to do that. 

Why am I Tired?

 

I have been wondering why I am so tired lately. I struggle while working and thought it was the job. I struggle while reading and figured it was just the book. My brain gets fuzzy at times and figured it was just my thyroid. I knew I was getting to sleep late at night and having to get up early, but I had not thought this was the reason. Tonight, I got a notification that my sleep trend had changed. What did I see? I am not even averaging 5.5 hours of sleep per night. I have got to figure out how to get my body to sleep at night. I skipped my nap today. I hope that helps. 

Too Busy

In 2020, we all got to experience life with less of just about everything. All of a sudden, we had no where to go, and it felt good to have less obligations. Everyone said they would never go back to the way it was. We were looking for our “new normal.” 

As the virus that plagued the world slowly became less prominent through vaccines and such, the idea of not being so busy became a fleeting idea. It now feels like I am almost as busy as I was before the world shut down. For some reason, I thought that with less kids in school and no work commute, I would not have more time to get things done. This is not so.

 I have been getting overwhelmed lately with everything that needs to be done, and there isn’t anything that I want to give up. I just wish other people would understand that I have other obligations. I am not just a youth leader or student or employee. I am all of these things plus mom and wife. 

I know I need to have better time management. I’m working on this. There will be a day when I am not so overwhelmed. I’m not sure when that will be. For now, I will do my best to concentrate on the things I love about my life. 

Denied Again

 

Today was the second time I have been denied the honor of donating blood. Chad and I often sign up for the blood drive at church. In July, I was feeling a bit off but didn’t think it would cause any issues with blood donation. I was wrong. My iron level was very low. I started taking supplements the next day and made an appointment with the doctor where I was told there were no problems with my blood levels. Now, here I am trying to donate blood again. The time not really feeling much different than normal. However, once again my iron is too low to donate. This time not by much. It is so frustrating! I need to make an appointment for a blood draw for my thyroid soon, so I guess I will ask them to check my iron level again. 

Groceries of the Week

This week, we spent a bit less on groceries, but not enough less. I really miss when we could get groceries for around $200. I know the prices won’t actually go back down. Im not that naïve. I just miss it. It was nice for it to ring up under $300 this week. They even all fit in the trunk! Hopefully, we can keep out grocery bill Uber $300 again next week. 

All the Books

Reading has never been my favorite past time. When the kids were little, I read some Nicholas Sparks and a few other books. Since I've been in school, finding the time to read for pleasure has been harder to do. For a while, I would read on my breaks at work, but that is not as easy while working from home. 

The 75 hard challenge has shown me that I can fit a bit of reading time into my day, and I have a lot of books that I have either started and need to finish or haven't even started. Some are books that I had to buy for school and either didn't really need or only needed to read a few chapters. Some are running books. Some are books that I am just interested in. One is a Nicholas Sparks book (he is still my favorite author). I walked around to the various book shelves and found as many as I could and listed them in my bullet journal. I am excited to read them and will probably add a few from my Kindle as I go. 

Do They Know?

Sometimes I wonder, "Do my kids know how much I pray for them?" Being a mom is the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. I want my children to succeed in life, but I don't know how to help them do that. I'm not sure I know how to be successful. How do I teach them how to follow their dreams when I didn't even know what my dreams were until I was in my late 30s?

All I can do is pray to be the mom they need. I ask for direction on just about everything. It often helps. Not all of the answers are easy. I don't like being the mean mom even when I know what I am telling them to do is good for them. Also, it is scary for me to call schools and doctors at times for some reason. Getting out of my comfort zone is hard, but that is what it takes to be a mom. 

Groceries

Groceries have gotten so expensive! I hate when they talk about inflation in the news, but it is hard to ignore the fact that we are spending $50 to $100 more per week than we did this time last year. Our goal used to be to try to stay around or under (off possible) $200. That is not even possible anymore. 

I remember a time when I had to figure out how to buy groceries (including diapers) with maybe $60 for the week. I remember the ever shrinking budget as more vehicles were purchased. I remember going through the humiliation of using WIC checks as people complained about how long it took. I am very thankful to not be in that position again. 

As the prices continue to rise drastically, I am thankful that Chad and I both have jobs that allow us to purchase the food we need and want. I am thankful for the time when I was on an insanely strict budget and learned how to find a deal. I may every once in a while still hear, “There is nothing to eat!” from a teenager, but I am glad that is no longer true. I can now show them the options we have even if they don’t agree with those options. 

What does $300 of weekly groceries look like for our family?

Of course that includes any food we already had before shopping and doesn’t include the freezer. By next Monday, most of it will be gone, and we will start over again. 

Do I starve my children? No. Do they sometimes act like I do? Yes. That’s the joy of motherhood. Right?

Next Step

Without going into details, I can say that Noel has been on a health journey. Today, we visited a geneticist to rule out the scariest possibility. She was referred in March, and it took many phone calls over a few weeks for them to fit her in about six months later. (I kind of think they finally fit her in because they were tired of my daily calls.) We spent those six months thinking that every symptom was caused by this possible disorder. 

Today, she was finally seen. We were both nervous. We talked to the genetic counselor and the doctor. We gave a more extensive personal and family medical history than I have ever given at any time. Then, after the physical exam, we were told by the doctor who specifically sees patients with the disorder we needed ruled out, we were told that there were so many indicators that were not met that she could say with a certainty she did not have this particular issue. Now, we need to get a referral to another specialist. 

Hopefully, one day we will have some answers. I don't know how many more visits we will have with doctors and other providers, but I am willing to do whatever it takes. 

Mom Goals

My kids mean everything to me. (I think most moms feel the same way.) When I was growing up, all I wanted to be was a mom. I am so lucky to be able to be Mom to some amazing kids!

Like most moms, I have heard a lot of criticism about my parenting. That’s ok. Those people don’t understand the relationship I have with these wonderful people. They don’t understand how we have lived and what we have overcome together. 

I have a few goals as a mom. First, I want them to be good people. I feel that so far I am doing well in this department. I want them all to have at least a high school education with hopes that they would want to continue further. So far, two have graduated high school but have not chosen to pursue further education. I’m ok with that. It’s not for everyone. My biggest goal as a mom is make sure they know they are loved and will always have a soft place to land no matter what. I grew up with conditional love and don’t want my kids to feel that from me. I want them to know they can talk to me and lean on me. I am not sure I am doing my best at this, but I hope I am getting better. 

Being a mom is the hardest and most rewarding job I have ever had. I dream of having a close relationship with my kids for the rest of my life. As someone who has lost a parent, I dream of having the relationship with my kids I imagine I could have had with my own mom. 

My Next Challenge

 I continually try to find ways to improve myself which seems to often mean finding the next challenge for me. In July, I learned about the 75 hard challenge. Chad did some research and did a modification of it until our trip to South Dakota. Then, he stopped until last this last week. 

For the past week, I have seen my husband work hard to do every part of this challenge. His hard work and dedication are inspiring. It makes me want to do it myself, and that means I will be doing it. 

This is not an easy challenge and does not just work on physical health. I challenges people both physically and mentally. It includes no alcohol (not hard for people who don't drink), two 45 minute workouts (one outside), follow a diet plan (exactly), read at least 10 pages of nonfiction, drink one gallon of water, and take a progress picture daily. I expect the two daily workouts being the toughest especially the outside workout as it colder (I don't do well in cold). The reading should not be hard with all that I read for school, but I will probably have to fill in with other books here and there since the readings I do for school have deadlines. As far as diet goes, I will be working on a 14/10 intermitted fasting schedule that will probably at times have a bit longer of fasting times. Drinking a gallon of water will be easy. It is more than I usually drink, but if I cut out some of the soda I have been drinking, it should make it a bit easier. The picture will only be hard because I am not sure I want to see evidence of how much I have let myself go in the past few years, but it will be nice to see the changes as I go. 

The website says to start without delay, but I need to wait until tomorrow. I had to take the time to research diets and decide on what I thought would work best for me. I considered South Beach again, but I remembered how I felt trying to follow it exactly and how it made my body feel. I considered Keto, but I have heard that it is not good for people who have had their gall bladder removed. My next step was intermitted fasting. I have done it in the past and only stopped doing it because I couldn't afford the app I was using to track it. I will be tracking this in my bullet journal. I have also created a tracker the all of the habits. 

Glow Up Week One Complete

 I have officially completed the first week of the Glow Up challenge. There were days that felt easy, and there were days that were hard. Monday was the hardest. I haven't done many lunges or squats since quitting karate. My knees reminded me why I hated doing them back then, but I pushed through. By Wednesday, it was starting to feel good. However, today was hard again. The 55 second plank was the hardest. My arms are hurting, and I didn't take off my socks which made me continually me slip. I'm sure it will get easier as I go. As for now, I have two days to rest my sore muscles a bit. 

Weight Struggles

 As I have said many times, I struggle with my weight. There are several reasons for this. First of all, I have two medical conditions that make it hard to lose weight and easier to gain. Second, I have bad eating habits. I love junk food and struggle with eating healthier foods, and I eat when I'm bored. Also, I have a fairy sedentary job and have a hard time convincing myself to get up and move when I'm off work quite often. This does not mean I have to give up and just let myself gain more and more. 

I have a goal weight in mind. I have had this weight in my mind for many years. I know what I need to do to get there, but it is not easy. Chad tells me I need to make the sacrifices necessary. That's very true. I will do so little by little. 

Getting to a heathy weight has been a goal of mine for a long time. I have had set backs, but I am not going to let them break me. I will make this happen. 

This Dog

The dogs in this house continually get more spoiled by the day. Since I started working from home, they basically have the run of the house during the day rather than being kenneled as they were when I was at the office. This sweet dog is proof of that. 

Today, she hopped up on the bed (which is next to my desk) and tossed around the blankets and pillows. I looked at her and told her to stop, and she did until I left the room. When I came back, she was laying like this with no cares. Then, she stayed that way until I left to pickup Noel from work. She is a sweetheart and very stubborn. If she wants to do it and nothing is physically stopping her, she will probably do it. 

Algebra II Woes

My daughter has been struggling with her Algebra II class. Since she is taking online school, she is not in the classroom with her teacher as problems arise. Because of this, she has fallen a bit behind. I have offered her help several times, but she wanted to figure it out on her own. Today, she finally let me help her. It was not easy. 

I had to Google a few terms that I haven't seen in many years. I have completed college level math classes, but I could not figure out some of the things she needed to know. Thankfully, with the help of some good math site found from our search and the magic of her understanding better as I struggled to help, she was able to figure it out in the end and even got a good score on her quiz. 

I will always be willing to do my best to help her whenever she asks for it. Hopefully, next time it will be something I am more familiar with. Of course, I may just offer to find her a tutor instead. 

I Believe

For as long as I can remember I have had religion in my life. There are times where I have a stronger conviction than others, but I have never completely lost my desire to believe in a God who loves me. I have been asked many times in my life why I believe this, and I did not always have a good answer. However, as I continue to grow to be the person I know I can be, I am coming to a better understanding as to why I would choose to believe something that is becoming less popular, has cause me heart ache, and has been continually ridiculed. The answer is simple. It is true. 

I know that there is a living God who is the father of my spirit. I know that Jesus Christ came to earth to serve as an example, teach, and ultimately suffer and die for us so we can be forgiven. As I continue to study the scriptures and conference talks, I come closer to knowing and loving my Savior. I truly believe that through the covenants I have made, I will see my mom and brother again. I long to be with them. 

I hope to be known as a person who exemplifies the teachings of Christ. I hope that through me people can feel His love. As I grow as a person, I hope to make my Heavenly Father proud to call me His daughter. 

I am a believer i
n my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. 

General Conference Impressions

General Conference this weekend was wonderful! I think I got more out of it than ever before because I have spent time to prepare. I have heard many times that we need to prepare ourselves for conference, but I don't think I understood what that meant in the past. A few years ago, I listened to all of the Standard Works between the October conference and the April Conference. It was a bit of a preparation, but this time it felt different. 

I have spent about the last couple of months listening to many conference talks, praying, and listening to and reading The Book of Mormon. Also, for the past week I have spent my time creating a conference journal. I don't think any of this specifically prepared me. I think it was the combination of all of it. The conference talks, praying, and The Book of Mormon prepared me spiritually. Preparing the journal gave me something to keep my attention on what was being said. 

I enjoyed the inspirational messages shared for the past two days. I heard messages on ministering as Christ would, growing my testimony, sharing the gospel, how to stay close to and trust in Christ, how to treat others and help them feel they belong with us, and more. 

There were two talks that struck a special spot for me. First, President Nelson spoke out against abuse especially when it came to women and children. As he spoke poignantly against it, tears came to my eyes. Then, Elder Ulisses Soares spoke about equality in marriage. He said that neither the role of provider or nurturer is above the other, and the roles should overlap. He said that husband and wife should walk together with respect, gratitude, and love.  Talks like these speak to my heart and help me with my resolve to help other women know they do not have to accept being treated like I thought I had to for many years. We deserve to be respected and loved and treated as equals. It is not just the world's way, it is the Lord's way. 

Running is Not Easy

 

Sometimes running sucks. This morning was one of those times. It was my first time running five minute intervals during this training cycle. I was hard. I glanced at my phone several times to check the time left on the timer. My legs were hurting, I was out of breath, and I was getting light headed near the end. Worst of all, my brain kept reminding me that I was able to run for at least 20 minutes nonstop less than six months ago. (I'll get back to that soon enough.)

Why was it so much harder today than two days ago? There are a lot of things that may have been the cause. First of all, even though it was only one extra minute, I was running longer. Second, I ran at different time of day. I know a lot of people that hate running at night. I have actually grown to like running as the day closes. Also, I didn't eat or drink much before I went out. I only had a bit of water and a yogurt. That may have been one of the biggest issues. All I can do at this point is remember the things I can change and change them. 

Thankfully, the app that I use for my training asks at the end of each run if it was hard, easy, or just right (basically). I told it that the run was hard, so it adjusted the plan by adding another run that mirrors the one I did this morning. It will bump the plan out by one run, but I would rather that happen than keep struggling. Hopefully, it will help me be prepared for the rest of the plan.