Sunday, November 1, 2015

Comparing Myself to Others

I find myself comparing what I believe are other people's strengths to my own weaknesses. For example, this week in the gathering for my classes were talking about a study skill for studying the scriptures that we learned last week and put into practice for this week as we studied the Book of Mormon. The terrifying skill was...lists. I have a hard time going through the scriptures and picking out the lists. To add to this daunting task, we were studying 2 Nephi 17 to 27 (mostly Isaiah chapters). My brain was hurting. I read chapter 18 twice and listened to it as I read it one more time. I still didn't fully grasp it, but knew I would have to move on for now to get through the rest of the reading assignment. As the class started, I expected to not be the only one who had this difficulty. Instead I found that I was in the minority. When the lead student (the class member leading the discussion) asked how it went for everyone, there were many comments on how it was so easy to find the lists that they found they were forgetting to think of the significance of the lists. I raised my had and gave my opinion that I thought this skill was the hardest one we have learned so far and that my brain hurt just from trying to understand what Isaiah and Nephi were trying to teach us. I got a few shocked looks. I felt really small. When I told my husband about this experience, he simply said that I was smart and I needed to stop comparing myself to others because it was bringing me down. He was not wrong. I do this a lot.
I am smart. I have A's in both of my classes this semester. I have an associates degree in business. I use words that I have to explain not only to my kids, but also to competent adults sometimes. (I blame my daddy for this one. he he) I am able to solve hard math problems most of the time. I know how to research things if I want or need to know more about a subject. I have several hymns and other songs memorized.
I don't know why I don't see myself as an intelligent person. I wish I could see myself the way Chad does. I guess I will just have to pray about it.

1 comment:

Mistaken said...

You ARE very smart!! Smarter than me! hehe. I'm so happy you started with Pathway. I love you