Miracle Morning Update

I have been doing the Miracle Morning for about 3 months now, and I can feel the difference in my day-to-day life. I have become more active, calm, and organized. I feel like since I am accomplishing 6 goals first thing in the morning, I am motivated to do more with my day. 

In my day planner (I still use an old school paper planner), I have many daily goals outside of my Miracle Morning routine. I have a cleaning goal (dishes plus one other task), an exercise goal (for now it is a walking challenge I'm doing with my sister), a goal to get rid of at least one thing, and anything else that needs to be done that day. I get the sense of accomplishment that I have been missing for about four and a half months, and I love it. I feel like nothing can stop me from becoming the person I need to become. It is amazing how small tasks can lead to bigger things. 

Why I Don't Post as Much

I have obviously stopped posting as much on this blog. It hasn't been a conscious decision for the most part. A big part of it has been because I have been journaling daily as part of my Miracle Morning. Also, I was struggling with knowing what to post and what not to post and had stepped back a bit while trying to make those decisions. 

A paper journal has many advantages. I love sitting down and writing. There is just something cathartic about it that I can't fully explain. I can spill my guts out without judgement or backlash and just sit in the moment. Also, if some server crashes, the journal is still preserved. Having lost my mom at a young age, I see the value in having these records of my innermost thoughts, too. I have no idea if they will have any kind of sentimental value to anyone other than me, but they will be in existence if someone wants to learn about the real me. 

A few years ago, it had become obvious that a few people I didn't really want to know certain things were reading my blog. When I vented about this, the backlash directed at one of the children was horrible. Since then, I have been trying to make sure not to post things that could have those results. It's exhausting and a reminder of the controlling crap I endured in a past relationship. A bout 4 or 5 months ago, a comment left on here made it obvious that at least one of these people are still reading what I post. (Hi!) I went into a spiral of fear and depression that I didn't know how to get out of myself. This sent me into a deeper dive of self-help books than I have ever gotten into, and it is helping. It has also lead me to journaling on paper again. I guess you can say that those who have been doing what they can to cyber stalk me have helped me find the parts of me I didn't even know were missing. Thank you, I guess.

Am I going to continue posting? Yes. I just won't be doing so on a consistent basis. I will still post about books I love, my testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel when I feel inspired to to so, major life events, my knitting or crocheting, and any other time I feel the need to do so. I just won't be posting nearly every day like I had been for a while. My sanity is more important than the $0.03 I earn off of this per month. 

It Made Me Think

A few days ago, my daughter said something as I drove her home from school that has made me think ever since. She has such an amazing mind and throws comments out into the world not realizing how profound they are. I am often at awe over how her mind works. 

What comment did my sweet 18 year old make? As she was talking about trying to get a job, she said, “I am just trying to get my life together.” I know. It doesn’t sound as profound as one may expect, but that one sentence has been playing over in my mind ever since. 

I have been trying to put my life together for as long as I can remember. I have been working harder at it for the past 15 years than I would ever have thought necessary, and I still haven’t gotten it figured out. I am still living in the same house feeling like I am barely surviving. I have a job that I like, but it doesn’t fulfill me or pay what I feel I’m worth. I have an associate degree in business and almost a bachelor’s degree in marriage and family studies. Hopefully, I can make both degrees work together in some way. At times I think that I have wasted too much time and am too old to be still figuring things out. I hope I’m wrong.