2016 Bucket List

I'm thinking this year instead of making goals like "lose weight," I'm going to make more of a 2016 bucket list. The goals seem to fizzle out half way through the year. I am hoping that by having a bucket list, I will still be bettering myself, and I will have more fun doing it.

1. Hike a 14er (Chad and I plan to do this the weekend before my birthday)
2. Go to the temple (hopefully in the next few months)
3. Take the kids camping and fishing for a week 
4. Go to Utah to visit family 
5. Complete the Pathway program an continue on with BYU-I

Most of the items this list have specific dates attached. Chad and I have to sit down and make a plan for others. One I have to make the steps myself to accomplish.

2016 is going to be anther great year!

Christmas Memories

As I was growing up, my dad would play Chistmas music and sing (a bit out of tune) with it until January 1st. Blue Chistmas came on the radio on Sunday as I was driving to go pickup the kids from their dad. Tears came down my face as I heard my dad singing along in my head. I was tempted to call my Utah family and ask them to record him singing this and others and some how send them to me before Christmas. Last night at work, other Christmas songs came on the radio that reminded me of my dad playing his Readers Digest Christmas cassette tapes over and over while singing along. Isn't it amazing that a "tradition" that I thought was "SO annoying" as a teenager would be some of my fondest Christmas memories now?

Anthony Robert Mitchell

This guy would be 39 today! When we were kids the official Christmas celebrations in our home couldn't start until the day after his birthday. (He wanted to make sure the holidays were separated.) I will change my blog background in 10 minutes to honor that tradition. ;)

A Different Kind of Christmas Message

http://narcoleptica.deviantart.com/art/Christmas-star-24488816

Imagine having to have faith in a man that will come to the earth and will be born in a land your forefathers left due to wickedness. Imagine trying to live the gospel being told this this amazing person will exist and show the way for us to live, but until then we need to do it anyway because that is what the Lord has asked us to do. This would be hard for me, however this is what the people of the Book of Mormon did for many generations.
In my scripture study this week, Alma 7: 9-16 left a great impression on my heart. It filled me with true joy and a great respect for Alma and the people he was teaching.  Imagine my excitement as I looked in the Book of Mormon Student Study Guide on lds.org and these verses were one of the points highlighted in the lesson (it seems like this never happens)! I was even more exited as I watched the Mormon Message video that went with our lesson for class titled "Look to the Light." (Isn't technology great!)
This scripture passage starts off with Alma, the younger, teaching the people in the land called Gideon to repent. he says, "Repent ye, and prepare a way for the Lord, and walk in his paths, which are straight; for behold, the kingdom of heaven is at had, and the Son of God cometh upon the face of the earth." As I said before, we have to remember that Christ has not been born yet. They are still waiting on this. It won't happen for about another 83 years. It is their job to prepare for this wonderful event that will happen, and they have no idea when it will happen. (Just like we have no idea when He will come again.) Alma goes on to tell them of Christ's birth. He tells them that Mary will have this baby in Jerusalem (the place their forefathers left because of iniquity several generations before). He tells them that he will suffer afflictions and temptations in His life just like us including physical death. He does this so that he can know our struggles and temptations and be able to take on our sins as His own and deliver us from these sins. Verse 13 says:

• "Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according the to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me." 

This is the Atonement summarized into one verse. Christ came to the earth. He was perfect. He took upon him our sins so that we can live with Him and our Heavenly father again. Our job is to repent and come unto him. Verse 16 tells us of the promise we are given when we do this:

• "And whosoever doeth this, and keepeth the commandments of God from thenceforth, the same will remember that I say unto him, yea, he will remember that I have said unto him, he shall have eternal life, according to the testimony of the holy Spirit, which testifieth in me."

What a wonderful message at this time of the year where we are preparing to celebrate the birth and life of our Savior, Jesus Christ. He lives. He came to earth not only to teach the people in Jerusalem while he was here. He blessed the people of Nephi. He continues to bless us. He will come again. I hope to be worthy of His blessings when this happens.
I love that we have scripturse that testify of Christ and his mission. I love that we are told of the struggles before and after Christ came to the earth so that we can learn and grow. I love that we can read of the prophesy of Christ coming and see how it all was fulfilled. I love that the Book of Mormon testifies of people who left Jerusalem to come to the Americas and because of their faith, they were blessed with the gospel. These people had a great deal of faith.
I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to study the Book of Mormon. I have learned more form this wonder book of scripture over the last few months than I have learned from it in my life. I am excited to learn more in the coming months.

Can't Judge a Book by Its Length

The book of Enos in the Book of Mormon is a short book, but it contains some great stuff. I have to admit, in the past I would glace over this book reading it real quick because it was short and I didn't consider it important because of its length. The phase, "You can't judge a book by its cover," may not necessarily fit here, but modifying it a bit may: You can't judge a book by its length. Having said that, I am going to concentrate on the first four verses.

Enos starts out telling us that he father was a "just man" that taught him their language along with the nurture and admonition of the Lord. This tells me that he loved his father. He wanted EVERYONE to know that his father was a "just man" and why. This gives me something in common with Enos. I love my dad as well. He taught me the gospel and made sure that I got an education when I was a kid (teaching me his language).

Enos goes on to let us know that he struggled with sin and sought out to "(receive) a remission for (his) sins." (Enos 1:2) He did this while he was out hunting for food. Alone in the wilderness, he though of his father's teachings of the gospel. Verse 4 says: "And my soul hungered; and I knelt down before my maker, and cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens."

I like the use of the word "hungered" in this verse. I relates a physical feeling to a spiritual need. We all know what it is like to feel hungry physically. By eating, we fulfill a need. By praying to our Heavenly Father, Enos was fulfilling more than just the want to pray and wasn't doing so because he was told to pray. He was fulfilling a need to pray. He felt such a great need to pray that he prayed all day and all night. 

The result of this great faith was a great reward. Verse 5 says, "And there came a voice unto me saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt e blessed." He got to HEAR the Lord! How amazing is that?

If we have faith and pray with everything we have in us, we can receive a reward as well. The September 2006 Friend has an article titled "The Enos Experiment." This tells the story of a little girl who learned about Enos in primary. She went home with the desire to really pray to Heavenly father and tell Him all of her thoughts and feeling. That night she knelt down and prayed. She gave thanks, asked for forgiveness, and really talked to Heavenly Father about her feelings until she had "shared everything that was in (her) heart." When she was done she "felt a calm warmth fill (her) soul and knew Heavenly Father had listened."

I hope to have this kind of faith. I have learned that I need to make my prayers more sincere. I have a list of things that I feel I need to pray for and want to pray for, but these scriptures and this talk got me thinking about my own prayers. I do have faith in prayer. I have had a few times where I have reached out to Heavenly Father an poured out my heart. I hope to remember these experiences and pray with everything I have in me more often. I love this gospel. I love that we always have the opportunity to improve ourselves and grow closer to our Lord and Savior though honest and sincere prayer!

My Dad

My dad has always given a great example of work in my life. When I was a teenager, my dad was a single father. He was depressed a lot, but he didn't give up. He continued to do housework; laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. For leisure, he learned to cross stitch and made beautiful cross stitches of all of the temples he had been to at that time which made our home more beautiful. He went to work early in the morning so he could be home for us kids not long after we got home form school. He taught us that if we want something, we have to work for it. My brother, sister and I all had jobs at 16 and used the money for things that he didn't see as necessities. He loved us, and we knew that. As an adult, I went through some of the same struggles my dad did. I asked him what he did to stay positive. (I didn't see the depression.) He told me that he just kept busy taking care of us kids and the house. It has been and continues to be such a wonderful blessing to have him as my father!

My dad and Noel
September 2008

Love This Quote

If you are poor, work. … If you are happy, work. Idleness gives room for doubts and fears. If disappointments come, keep right on working. If sorrow overwhelms you, … work. … When faith falters and reason fails, just work. When dreams are shattered and hope seems dead, work. Work as if your life were in peril. It really is. No matter what ails you, work. Work faithfully. … Work is the greatest remedy available for both mental and physical afflictions. (The Forbes Scrapbook of Thoughts on the Business of Life, New York: Forbes Inc., 1968, p. 427.)

Mommy Win

Last week my boys had Court of Honor for Boy Scouts. As they were getting ready, Eric told Sean to tuck in his shirt. Sean didn't understand why and expressed his want to be comfortable. Eric in a bit of a disgusted tone said, "It's a sign of respect." I was so proud of my 13 year-old for teaching his brother this important lesson about respecting the Boy Scout uniform. 

I am happy to announce that my sweet Sean received his Tenderfoot rank! It was such a wonderful surprise!

Knocked My Socks Off

As I was doing my scripture study this week, I came across a verse that totally wowed me! I was so overcome by the power of this one verse I knew I needed to share it. I was going to go to the gathering for my class the next night, and I was hoping that I would get the chance to share it there, but my group was discussing a different chapter. That means that I get to write about it on my blog.
The verse that just blew my mind (picture the commercial where the tops of people's head blow and purple smoke poofs out) was 2 Nephi 31: 20. It reads, "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the father: Ye shall have eternal life." I found this verse so amazing that I highlighted it in pink and went back and outlined it in blue. (I'm not going to miss this one when I need it.) The next task was to break it down to discover why it was so amazing.
To start off I wanted to make sure I understood what "steadfastness" meant. Luckily, I didn't have to go far. In the footnotes, there are suggested words to look for in the topical guide: commitment, dedication, perseverance, steadfastness (of course), and walking with God. I had a better understand just from that list alone, but I wanted to get more information on walking with God. I did a search on lds.org rather than the topical guide so that I could access more than scripture. I could access conference talks. I found a talk by Aileen H. Clyde titled, "Confirmed in Faith." In this talk she speaks about our relationship with God. She talks about how Christ knew God and followed His commandments and was given strength as he did so. As we follow our Savior's example, we can walk with God as He did. John 15:10 says, "If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love..." Isn't this a great promise from our Heavenly Father? When we do our part of keeping the commandments, He will do his part by showering us with His love.
When I go to "perfect brightness of hope" I though of the second verse of "We Thank The, O God, For a Prophet." It says:

When dark clouds of trouble hang o'er us

And threaten our peace to destroy,

There is hope smiling brightly before us,

And we know that deliv'rance is nigh.

We doubt not the Lord nor his goodness.

We've proved him in days that are past.

The wicked who fight against Zion

Will surely be smitten at last.

I love the line, "There is HOPE shining BRIGHTLY before us." I understand that this brightness may be in the next life sometimes, but not always. For example, sometimes I struggle with the loss of my mom and brother even though it has been 19 years since they passed. I miss them. It is hard that I can't share my kids with them, but the hope that shines bright is that we are an eternal family thanks to the covenants my parents made in the temple. I will see them again. In this life however, I do have some amazing kids that have some of the traits they had. My daughter has my mom's spunk and spontaneity, my oldest son has her kindness and willingness to help, my middle kid has her sense of humor. I get to tell stories of how great they were in this life so that my kids and my husband can get to know them now and not have to wait to learn about them. I also get to pass down some of the traditions that my mom had with us.
Next, I felt I needed to explore, "endure to the end." Endure is such a daunting word. It sounds very difficult to me. Lucky for me, my instructor did a video about this, and I actually took notes. (I'm growing as a student...) He pointed out that this is not just doing. It requires action. One great way is to actually "feast on the words of Christ" as it says many times in the scriptures. He pointed out that this means to really delve into the scriptures as we study them. We should be marking them and thinking about what we are reading. This is some thing I haven't done much of in the past. I have my ex-husband's scriptures that I bought for him when we were first married. There were no markings in them when he decided to leave the Church and leave all of his church books behind when he moved out. I was trying to keep them nice, but when I started this class, I couldn't help myself. I found myself looking for colored pencil to highlight, write definitions of words I didn't understand in the margins, and write topics such as "missionary work" or "Atonement" in the margins as well. My instructor also pointed out 2 Nephi 32:8-9 where it talks about praying. In these verses we are instructed to pray always. We are told that if we feel we shouldn't pray that is the "evil spirit" telling us that it is not okay to pray. My instructor went on to give us a list moer that will help us to endure to the end: have faith in Jesus, serve God and others (I would say through others as well), choose the right, seek and find Christ, and let the Holy Ghost in.
The last phrase I wanted to explore was, "Ye shall have eternal life." That is a wonderful promise for us! I followed the footnote for eternal life. It lead me to the topical guide on a search for "objectives." I felt lead to Mosiah 4:27 which says, "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order: for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore all things much be done in order." Eternal life is our PRIZE for enduring the pains and woes in this life by staying close to our Lord by learning of Him, following the commandments as Christ did, and remembering to pray continually.
I love my Heavenly Father. I am so thankful for personal growth through inspiration and revelation. I am thankful for the Book of Mormon and the opportunity that I have to truly FEAST on the word or God at this time in my life. I pray that my kids and husband will see the changes that it is making in my life and want to follow my example. In the name of MY Lord and Savoir, Jesus Christ. Amen

Comparing Myself to Others

I find myself comparing what I believe are other people's strengths to my own weaknesses. For example, this week in the gathering for my classes were talking about a study skill for studying the scriptures that we learned last week and put into practice for this week as we studied the Book of Mormon. The terrifying skill was...lists. I have a hard time going through the scriptures and picking out the lists. To add to this daunting task, we were studying 2 Nephi 17 to 27 (mostly Isaiah chapters). My brain was hurting. I read chapter 18 twice and listened to it as I read it one more time. I still didn't fully grasp it, but knew I would have to move on for now to get through the rest of the reading assignment. As the class started, I expected to not be the only one who had this difficulty. Instead I found that I was in the minority. When the lead student (the class member leading the discussion) asked how it went for everyone, there were many comments on how it was so easy to find the lists that they found they were forgetting to think of the significance of the lists. I raised my had and gave my opinion that I thought this skill was the hardest one we have learned so far and that my brain hurt just from trying to understand what Isaiah and Nephi were trying to teach us. I got a few shocked looks. I felt really small. When I told my husband about this experience, he simply said that I was smart and I needed to stop comparing myself to others because it was bringing me down. He was not wrong. I do this a lot.
I am smart. I have A's in both of my classes this semester. I have an associates degree in business. I use words that I have to explain not only to my kids, but also to competent adults sometimes. (I blame my daddy for this one. he he) I am able to solve hard math problems most of the time. I know how to research things if I want or need to know more about a subject. I have several hymns and other songs memorized.
I don't know why I don't see myself as an intelligent person. I wish I could see myself the way Chad does. I guess I will just have to pray about it.

Halloween 2015

Ninja Unicorn

Prison Inmate

Badger

Bassek Starbuck (his own comic book character)

China Doll

Yes, I do realize it is not Halloween yet, but tonight was the party at church and we all dressed for the occasion.

2 Nephi 9

As those who read this blog know, I have been studying the Book of Mormon for a class I am taking this semester. Our reading assignment this week was 2 Nephi 9-16. Some of these chapters were difficult to understand because they were chapters from Isaiah. However, I really liked chapter 9 which explained the Atonement and what we need to do or not do if we want to be saved through this wonderful gift. It is a long chapter, so I'm not going to go trough the entire chapter, but I would like to go over some of the highlights.
Verses 5 and 6 explain  "...the great Creator that suffereth himself to become subject unto man in the flesh, and die for all men, that all men might become subject unto him. For as death passed upon all men, to fulfill the merciful plan of the great creator, there must needs be a power of resurrection.." This is interesting to me because it explains the purpose of Christ coming to earth and dying. We are told that he was subject to men and now we are subject to him. I didn't think of it this way before. I had not thought of Jesus be subject to the laws of man, but we know that he was because he was careful of how he worded things like when he was asked what the greatest commandment was he responded in Mark 12:30-31, "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. and the Second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is non other commandment greater than these." By doing this, he had broken no laws and satisfied the will of God, his father. He was also crucified because of the corrupt laws of man. Because of this great sacrifice, we are now asked to be subject to Christ. He paid for our sins and he wants us to come unto him.
Further in the chapter, we are advised of Spiritual death which is the complete separation, both physical and spiritual, from our Heavenly Father. We that if we make the wrong choices we will have "perfect knowledge of our guilt," but if we choose righteously we will "have a perfect knowledge of (our) enjoyment" in verse 14. I would rather remember the joys that I had through life rather than the things I would need to feel guilty about. I don't know about you, but I don't like that guilty feeling. This is because of the atonement as well.
I think the best part of this chapter is verse 18 where we are given our goal for this life, "But , behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed int he Holy one of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world,and despised the same of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be forever." This is a great goal for us with a promise from our loving God! We are old if we follow Christ as we endure the challenges of life, we will have eternal life with our Father in Heaven. Not only do they want us to have this gift, they have a place saved for us. That is even better than walking into a ward party and having a friend save seats for me and my family (which is a great feeling). They want us to succeed. They are waiting for us to come back. To put the icing on the cake, we will have eternal joy. What more could we ask for?
Christ came to this earth as a man. He suffered many things for us and was subject to all of the evils of the world. He knew joys and pain while he was here. He suffered and was crucified for us. All he is asking in return is that we follow His example. If we do so, he has a spot reserved for us where we will not feel pain and sorrow. He knew we wouldn't be perfect, but if we do our part by repenting and listening to and following  His counsel, he has already paid the price so that we can still claim that spot. Isn't that a wonderful promise?
Please, take the time to REALLY study 2 Nephi. It is an amazing chapter of scripture that spells out all we need to know about the Atonement.

Straiten Through Afflictions

I have been studying 1 Nephi 15 to 22 this week. I have learned some important lessons. The main one that I have learned is that we are given trials, struggles, and afflictions to make us stronger and to gain the blessings that the Lord has in store for us.
I started learning this lesson as I was reading chapter 17. In this chapter, Nephi is commanded to build a ship, and the Lord shows him how. His brothers mock him and call him a fool for thinking he can build a ship and cross the vast waters. They didn't believe that the Lord had commanded him to build a ship and was showing him how. He stood up to his brother and told them that if the Lord could bring the children of Isreal out of bondage, He can help him build a boat saying in verse 37  to 40, "And he raiseth up a righteous nation, and destroyeth the nations of the wicked. And he leadeth away the righteous into precious lands, and the wicked he destroyeth, and curseth the land unto them for their sakes. He ruleth high in the heavens...And he loveth those who will have him to be their God..." He continues on to say that the Lord "did straiten them in the wilderness...because of their iniquity" in verse 41. I looked up straiten because I wanted to see why they would use this spelling of the word. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary online, straiten means to make narrow. According to dictionary.com, it means" to put into or bring into difficulties or distress." To me this means, he is telling us that the Lord was giving them difficulties and narrowing their options because they are not following the commandments.
Now, I am going to skip to chapter 20. This chapter is like Isaiah chapter 48. I want to concentrate on just a few verses: 10, 18, and 22. "For behold, I have refined, thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction...O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments - then had peace been as a river, and they righteousness as the waves of the sea...there is no peace, saith the Lord, unto the wicked." We are being told that the Lord is refining us with afflictions and if we follow the commandments we will have peace and a greater influence on others. Also, if we don't listen to Him, we will not have those blessings. Afflictions are not fun. Dictionary.com defines affliction as, "a state of pain, distress, or grief." We are not given peace automatically. We have to go through the "pain, distress, and grief" while obeying the Lord and following his plan for us. As we do this, he will bless us with peace.
In the Hymn book for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are taught "Sweet is the peace the gospel brings to seeking minds and true," in Hymn 14. As I have been studying the scripture over the last few weeks, this hymn has brought more and more meaning into my life. It has calmed me when I am scared, it has helped me in my studies, and it has helped me be more patient with my family. I know that the Lord brings us to Him through our trials and obedience. I am so happy that I have the opportunity to truly study and learn from the Book of Mormon!

The Example of Nephi

This week in my religion class, I had the opportunity of studying 1 Nephi 1- 5 in the Book of Mormon.This is the first time in a long time that I have really studied the Book of Mormon. I learned lessons that I hadn't realized were in these chapters.
In these chapters Lehi prophesied that Jerusalem would be destroyed and takes his family to the wilderness as directed by the Lord. Then, he is given the commandment to send his sons back to Jerusalem to get the brass plates from Laban, the king. Laman and Lemuel murmur. Nephi tells his father that he will do it because it is a commandment of the Lord. After two failed attempts, they obtain the plates and a new traveling companion, Zoram, Laban's servant. Upon returning to their parents, they discover that Sariah, their mother had complained about her sons going back and had worried that they had been killed. Lehi calms her by telling her that he knew that he was asking a lot, but these were the Lords directions. When the brothers returned, their parents rejoiced and thanked the Lord. Then, they read from the plates of brass.
In the class we were provided with clips of General Conference talks that go along with these chapters that I have taken for granted because, as most Mormons, I have read them more than the majority of the book. There were two that talked about murmuring. These clips opened my eyes to the negativity that I have been spreading. Elder Neil A. Maxwell explained that murmuring is a half complaint and that we do this because we want the Lord to accept us on our own terms rather than His. Elder Jeffery R. Holland explained that when we murmur people don't like to be around people that negative. My favorite quote from his talk, "The Tongue of Angels," was, "No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse." He relates this to Laman and Lemuel in chapter 3 where they are striking Nephi and have him tied up. He says that Nephi may have been more accepted of the beatings because it meant they were not murmuring while hitting them. He then quotes Ephesians 4:29-33 which says, "Let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth...be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
From these scriptures and talks, I learned that I need to be more willing to follow God's plan for me with our complaining (murmuring). It, also, taught me that it is better to forgive others as Nephi did after the angel rebuked his brothers in chapter 3.

And Then There Was One

The kids started school August 12. They are now in 8th, 6th, and 4th grades. This means I have only one left in elementary school. It seems like just yesterday Eric started kindergarten, and I was walking him to school with Noel in a stroller and Sean slowly wondering behind.

Going Back to School

schoolclipart.biz

I remember saying I wanted to go to BYU in middle school. Now is my chance! I have enrolled in the Pathway program where I can go to school online along with having a group to meet with once a week. This is a less expensive way to earn my bachelors degree with support from reputable university. I get to start in September. I can't wait!

Freedom or Cost of Being Annoymous

clashdaily.com

A few weeks ago, I noticed that I was becoming more and more negative. I was able to trace this bad feelings to my experiences on Facebook. Having a variety of people on the friends list, I was bombarded with ugliness towards people who have differing opinions. I didn't like how I was feeling, and I needed to find a way to feel better.

The last Sunday in June, I went to church feeling so negative, I didn't know how I was going to make it through three hours with a lot of people. My Heavenly Father knew I needed help. The opening song was "The Star Spangled Banner." As we stood up and sang, tears ran down my eyes. I was reminded of my rich family heritage and the freedoms we truly enjoy. I felt peace as my eyes were opened to the changes I needed to make.

I made the decision to take some much needed time away from Facebook and spend more time researching my family history. I have found the record of an ancestor in the Revolutionary War. This was an exciting find that I don't think I would have found if I had continued spending my time reading the debates on Facebook. 

We live in a great country where we can voice our opinion on decisions made by government officials without fear of being prosecuted. To go along with that freedom, we have online forums where we have a way to express our feelings and have that opinion "heard" by more people while remaining semi-annoymous. With this wonderful freedom comes responsibility. We have to think about how other people feel about the things we are saying. I am all for standing up for your beliefs, but why do we have to do that by belittling others?

Many Helpers

http://gregburdine.com/

I am so thankful for the many people who helped me when I was in the hospital and a little bit after I was released.
As soon as I found out that I was going to be admitted to the hospital, all I could think of was making sure the kids were taken care of. One of the first calls I made was to my kids' dad. He agreed to to pick up the kids from school, take Sean and Noel to their concert and record it, and take the kids home with him for the night (I called them in to school to dismiss them for a family emergency the next day). The following day, he printed up the papers need to sign the boys up for scout camp and to them to their scheduled appointments. The best part was he brought the kids to see me when he stopped by to get their insurance cards. He kept them one more night and dropped Eric off at a friend's birthday party and dropped of the other kids at home. He didn't have to agree to do any of this. He wasn't even going to have them this weekend, but he did it any way.
Another person I called right after being told I was not going home right away was my mother-in-law. I was pretty sure that Chad would not have been able to leave work to be with me since he had only been working at that job for about a week and a half. My mother-in-law is a nurse, and I felt like she would bee able to be my advocate if need be. She and my father-in-law came down as quick as they could. They also came down the following day and were there for me when I was taken to surgery and when I was brought back from recovery. I was nice that I didn't have to be alone.
After my husbands parents came to the hospital, I asked my father-in-law for a blessing. He agreed and asked me to find a second person for the blessing. I called the Tandbergs. Not only did he agree to assist with a blessing, she agree to sit with my primary class on Sunday. They were at the hospital quickly, and the blessing was giving right before the MRI that I had to determine if there was a blockage in my liver as well that would need to be cleared up prior to the gallbladder being removed.
After my in-laws left, the hospital chaplin stopped by and said a prayed for me that helped ease my nerves. He, also, stopped in real quick to make sure I was ok as I was getting ready to go to surgery.
My husband has been amazing since the text I sent him (before calling anyone else). He called as soon as he could. He tried to figure out if he could leave work to be with me. When he got off work, he took his work truck home, grabbed his car, and came to be with me as quickly as he could. Even though the fact that I had very little sleep and was made even more tired from the pain meds made me sleep on and off most of the time he was there. The day of the surgery, he came to get me as soon as possible as well. He got my meds from the pharmacy, went grocery shopping, and sacrificed sleep to take care of me.
After leaving the hospital, I have had ladies from church call or send facebook messages to check on me, meals were brought for three nights, and someone from church came by the house to pick up the papers to make sure the boys are all signed up for camp.
It is easy to sit and feel sorry for myself because my mom can't come to help me, but Heavenly Father has blessed me with many people in my life.

Bad Timing

I couldn't have chosen a worse week to get sick. My kids have a lot going on that I have to miss. Thursday night, instead of going to Sean's band and Noel's choir concert, I was lying in a hospital wondering if I was having surgery in the morning or having a blockage cleared to have surgery the day after. This morning, instead of going to see my daughter's cheer competition, I will likely be sitting at home in pain knitting and watching tv. I also had planned to help with Sean's 5th grade continuation bbq in a few days. I have a feeling I won't be able to do much there either since I have a 5 pound weight limit for the first few weeks.
I hate this. I love watching my kids perform their musical talents. I have put a lot of time and money into cheerleading. I missed Sean's first day of school because I had to work. I don't want to miss this too. I just want to be there to celebrate my kids' accomplishments.

After Surgery

Here I am lying in a Lazy Boy chair sore with an upset stomach. My gallbladder was removed at about 11am yesterday. I was able to go home last night. I just took my Vicodin to help with the pain and I took it with food, but I still feel ill. I don't want to wake my husband because I know he didn't sleep well last nigh because he was so concerned, and he had to work yesterday sine he is in only his second week of training (his parents stayed with me at the hospital). I know he would be willing to help, but I don't know what I need.

Waiting

Yesterday morning, I went to the emergency room in a lot of pain. I was told that my gallbladder needed to come out that afternoon. I was admitted quickly and didn't hear much for hours. Finally, the doctor came in to let me now what was going on. I had to get more testing done to find out if there is a blockage that needed to be cleared prior to surgery. The testing was done about 3:15 pm. I still don't know if I'm having surgery today or if I have a blockage to be cleared today and surgery tomorrow. The longer I have to wait, the scarier this gets.

Shocked (Not in a Good Way)

On our way to the Mammoth (lacrosse) game on Saturday, I decided that since we were going to be very early, I needed to us the restroom, and I have been dealing with kidney pain for some time, I would turn right on the Spear Boulevard exit instead of left to search out a bathroom (there are shops and restaurants that direction). I got out in the rain at Subway to discover that I had to be a paying customer and ask for a key to use the bathroom. I drove a bit further down the street to Walgreens and once again braved the rain to be told that since the pharmacy was closed so were the public restrooms. I decided to wait until we met up with Chad's brother at the Pepsi Center and hope we could get in quickly (not only did I have to pee, it was raining very hard). On our way to the Pepsi Center, I saw something while sitting at the stoplight I hadn't seen since September 1996 at the corner of Federal and 29th (apparently when turning right off the highway, you are on 29th). I saw the funeral home that my mom and bother were taken care of after their death. I honestly had forgotten where it was and had no need to be there since the viewing. This shocked me. My heart sank. On the eve of Mother's Day I was reminded of the loss of my mom. I sure do miss her!

Knitting

knitgrrl

I have been knitting off and on since I was 11 and my mom asked her friend to teach me. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I made most of the baby shower gifts I gave and some wedding presents. I, also, made all the dish cloths in my home. When I went back to work, my knitting slowed down a lot. About a year and a half ago, my husband sat down with me when I was stressed out and needing to find an outlet and helped me to think of hobbies other than watching movies or TV. I mentioned that I really enjoyed knitting and would like to really start doing it again. He has been so supportive in me pursuing this passion.
A little over a year ago, I lady I worked with was making a wedding shawl. It was beautiful. I thought I could never make something like that. I didn't think my knitting skills were good enough. When I found out that she had only been knitting for about a year. This got me working more on expanding my knitting skills. I have yet to make a big beautiful shawl, but I have made two nice shawls, scarfs, hats, and started on a blanket and a pair of socks.
The more I knit, the more I love it!

My Family Tree

I have a new addiction, ancestery.com. We were introduced to it by the missionaries to this wonderful tool a few months ago, but I didn't really get started until last Friday (April 24). Once I started, I was hooked. I have spent most of my free time researching and learning about my ancestors and their families. I even downloaded the app on my phone so I can work on it during the down time at work. 

I just figured all of the research had been done and there was nothing left for me to do. When I was little, my dad and grandma put together a Book of Remembrance full of pedigree charts for both sides of my family. When I was a teenager, my dad would spend his Tuesday nights in the Family History library at church while my sister and I were at our youth activities researching and getting names ready to do temple work. After my mom passed away, I found out that my aunts and uncles were doing a lot of the work as well. 

With so much already done, I didn't know where to start. By linking my familysearch.com profile to ancestery.com, I was able to get a good start. 

The best part about it is that these people are becoming real! I am able to find draft cards, enlistment records, census record, pictures, and more. These people are more than just names and dates on paper to me now. They are PEOPLE. 

My Friend

I have a wonderful friend who has seen me through many of my struggles as an adult. She is the greatest example of service of anyone I know. When I was lonely, she somehow just knew to call or stop by. When I had my first baby, she took me to the store and helped me know what I would personally need for after the baby was born (hygiene products). When I was struggling to feed my kids and considering potty training my oldest, she showed up with food from her food storage and stuff for potty training. When my last marriage was falling apart she was there for me (when I let her be).  There are so many things she has done, I can list them all.
I wish I had as much to give her as she has given me. I can only hope to be the great example of service and sacrifice as she has been to me. She has now moved to another state, but I will always cherish our friendship.

My Sweet Kids

When I got home from work yesterday morning, I was in pain. Not a good kind of pain either. My stomach hurt so bad that I was considering going to the ER to see what was wrong with me. My poor kids had to hear me crying in pain until they went to school. This concerned Sean and Noel. They each made me a "Get Well Soon" card. Sean even had his entire class at school sign it. I am so lucky to have such caring kids!

Be The Change

I have decided that I need to stop expecting people to change around me to make me happy. It isn't that I am completely unhappy. I love my husband and kids. The problem has been I have issues with being depressed. I have decided to be the change I need in my life. 

I know that it is a bit late to make resolutions, but I have decided that this year is going to be about me making the changes in  my life that I need. I am going to get back to the temple this year. I am going to read my scriptures and write in my journal at least 3 times a week. I am going to keep track of what I eat and eat healthier (my first goal is to increase my water intake). I am going to increase my physical activity. 

This is my year of change. I have the family I want. I need to be the wife and mother I want to be.