A Bit Odd

 I have always been a bit odd. I don't fit into a lot of boxes. In elementary school, I was the quiet kid that was older and bigger than most of the other kids. As I teenager, I was one of the few people I knew with divorced parents, and I was definitely the only person who had a mother in a relationship with a woman. (It was the 90s. The world was different.) As an adult, I have always been socially awkward and constantly wondering if someone was being nice to me because they actually cared of if they were just being fake. (I have been around so many fake people that I have gotten better at figuring this out quicker.) This made social situations hard for most of my life, but I am caring less and less over the past 5 or 6 years. 

I sit at home working Monday through Friday with little interaction with the outside world during working hours. This has caused me to feel like I'm going crazy more than once. I am constantly on the lookout for things that may indicate I'm mentally ill like my mother. So far, I have only been diagnosed with situational depression. After a while of my husband doing his best to get me out of the house, I started finding my own ways to interact with other people, and I was determined to not change for anyone. 

I joined a virtual book club a few years ago that fizzled out before we finished discussing the first book. (We were reading one chapter a week and discussing it.) The book chosen made me think about myself and my habits differently and helped me embrace the things that made me different. I started knitting and crocheting in church that summer. You know what happened? People started asking me what I was making and complimenting me on my work. There have since been other people, adults and children, knitting and crocheting at church. I wasn't as weird as I thought with this desire. 

About a year later, I started working in the temple. I was worried that I would struggle to learn the things I needed to learn. I was worried that being a divorced and remarried person would make me stand out. I was worried that I would struggle with social situations. None of this was a problem. I learned at the same pace as the other ladies who started around the same time. There are other women who have been divorced and remarried. No one cares that I say odd stuff and talk about death more than the average person. I am accepted and have made friends. 

Doing magic with children has really taken me out of my comfort zone, but kids don't care. They just want to learn magic and play. I have said it many times and feel it even more now that my kids are all grown up: little kids are amazing! I love how even the smallest things are exciting and new to them. Best of all, they just see me as an old lady teaching them magic and have no other judgements of me. 

I have also joined a book club at my local library. When I did this, I worried that the books I like would be too odd for them. It's not. Not everyone likes the same genres, and no one seems to judge others for their likes and dislikes. We are all reading the same book at the same time and expanding our likes and dislikes together. It doesn't matter that I don't know as many literary terms. I just don't talk when they talk about those parts of the books. I will probably understand and be able to talk that way after a few months. For now, I am just another person in the group that has read the book and has opinions.

I know that I make choices that are odd sometimes, and I will continue to do so. The thing is, I don't care anymore. If you don't like my garden in my front yard, don't look at it. If you don't like that I read non-Fiction every morning, that's ok because you aren't the one reading it. If the fact that I have a Barbie display in my bedroom puts you off in some way, who cares? It makes me happy. If you don't like that I'm religious, it doesn't bother me. I will respect your beliefs as long as you respect mine. You don't like that I am politically more in the middle and won't choose who or what I vote for without research? Oh, well. I am don't changing who I am to appease other people. I am different, but everyone should be different. We weren't made to be the exact some. That would make for a very boring existance. 

Magic Money

I have accrued more debt than I want to admit since the pandemic. It's not as much as some people have confessed to, but it is more than I am comfortable having. This debt doesn't count the car or house. It also doesn't include Chad's student loans. (Chad and I have been paying car payments and his student loans through an account that only pulls money from his paychecks for most of our marriage, and that will continue for the foreseeable future.) I am talking about credit cards in only my name. Cards that have been used to pay for trips, clothing, Noel's dental work, and who knows what else. At the beginning of the year, I finally opened my eyes to what I had been doing and calculated how much I owed and how much I paid in just minimum payments. I was shocked! I knew that we would be doing better financially if I hadn't done this, so I prayed for a way to attack this debt. 

During one of my shifts at the temple last month, I took advantage of the quiet moments to pray for guidance. The thought that I had broken something with this debt was dominating my thoughts. As I sat in relative silence, the thought that I should work for my bishop came to my mind. I knew he had started a business teaching kids magic after school and during the summer, but I didn't think he would hire someone for this. I thought that I was crazy for even considering this. I told myself that maybe I should work for his sister who owns a pickleball facility, but I didn't really want to have to drive that far to just make a bit of money to pay off debt. I tried to put it out of my mind and think of other part-time jobs that I could work around my full-time job and the work I do in the temple. (I don't get paid to work in the temple.) A week after I felt prompted to ask the bishop for a job, he and his wife both posted that he was hiring for after school clubs. I knew this was a sign that I needed to do this. I applied right away and was hired the next day. 

Now, I get to learn and teach magic to elementary school kids. It is so much fun! It doesn't even feel like a job! I couldn't have asked for a better way to pay off bills and work in the public. I can't believe I am so lucky to have this job!

Anniversary Florida Trip

This year for our anniversary, Chad and I went to visit friends that moved to Florida a little over a year ago. We were hoping that we would be escaping the cold when we booked the flights about 6 months ago, but that was not the case. In Colorado, we have had a fairly warm winter with a few exceptions. We left nearly 60-degree weather to go to temperatures in the 40s and 50s. When factoring in the humidity and the breeze, it felt cooler than that, and we were not prepared. The good news is that there are fun things to do even in cooler weather. 

On Sunday after church, we went to Blue Springs state park to see the manatee. They congregate around the springs which are consistently 72-degrees because they can't be in water less than 68 or they will die. With Sunday being in the 40s, there were over 800 manatees in and near the spring. This made for great viewing! It was fun to watch them swim around and see the groups of moms and babies. 

Monday, we went to Sea World and Disney Springs. We had a lot of fun at Sea World. We went to all of the shows, viewed the aquariums and habitats, and rode the few rides they had going. (It was too cold for most of the roller coasters.) This was my first time going to anything like this. I haven't even been to the Denver Aquarium. The shows were amazing! I clapped and squealed in excitement multiple times. Going to Sea World was not on our original list of things to do. I'm glad the weather didn't cooperate to do the other things because I loved seeing everything there. 

Disney Springs wasn't that big of a deal to me. This part of Disney has no entry fee. It is kind of like an outdoor mall area with shops and restaurants lining the "streets." We went to a cookie shop, hat shop, the Star Wars shop, Marvel shop, and a chocolate shop along with the restaurant we ate at. The restaurant was way overpriced for what we got. I had a club sandwich with fries and a Cherry Coke. Chad had a grilled grouper sandwich with fries and a coke. It was good, but not something particularly memorable. Of course, we may just have a problem with fancy food. Who knows? The cookies were ok. Again, they were a bit overpriced for something that wasn't particularly memorable. At the chocolate place, we got a big s'more to share. That was fairly good. It was definitely fresh and had a hint of cinnamon. This was the only Disney type thing we really saw, too. I would say, I'm glad I went to know what it was, but it's not something I would really seek out now that I know what it really is. 

Tuesday morning, we went to a French bakery, bought a variety of pastries, and brought it back to the house where we all shared them. They were so good! It was a wonderful breakfast!

Then, we ended our trip with a boat tour of De Leon Springs where we learned about a lot of different birds. We say how the trees adapt after storms and how interconnected the water systems are. I wouldn't say it was the highlight of the trip, but it was fun to learn about the vegetation and wildlife in Florida. It was a good, calm way to end our trip before heading to the airport for the long trip home. 

Next Steps

Chad and I have written our mission statement as a couple. We are going to be working towards being prepared. I know it is a scouting thing, but it fits in with our goals as a couple and helps calm our fears. We are going to go back to our homesteading goals we started work on 2 years ago. We know that our yard is not big enough to do it all, but it is big enough to get a good start as we pay off our debt and work towards getter jobs or the possibility of owning our own business. 

After watching several YouTube videos, we made a garden plan and bought some seed for a few items that we learned needed to be planted in January inside because they have a longer germination time. We will also be clearing out some of our backyard for raised garden beds over the next few months and deciding what we will be starting as seed and what we will buy as starters. All I know is that I do not see a time of me ever trying to plant tomatoes from seeds again. I was really successful with the starter I got last year and am hoping to duplicate that result this year. As we wait for our garden, we will be buying extra canned fruit and vegetables to build up our storage. 

I am also going to finish some of the unpaper towels that I started a few years ago. I like the group that I made 2 years ago, and I don't know why I stopped midway in the batch I was making that had a towel on one side and fleece on the other side. They will be completed soon. To go with that, I am also working on making some hot pads to replace my old, ratty sets and an apron to match. When I finish all of that, we will see if I still feel like sewing. Unlike my daughter, I don't always love sewing. 

Of course, bread making will always be a summer hobby for both Chad and me. We are currently working on baking twice what we need for the week so we can freeze some to have in the summer when it is too hot to bake. 

Lastly, we were given a 10-gallon water drum a few years ago when a friend of ours was moving. We will be filling that when the temperatures get warm enough that we feel comfortable hooking the hose up to the house. Then, we will look into other options for water storage. 

Things are getting scarier and more uncertain. Every day the news is filled with horrifying images and stories. The only way to combat the fear is to prepare for the worst. This is our start of that preparation. 

Trying to Write Mission Statements

Chad and I have been reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People together. He has it on his Kindle, and I bought a 30th Anniversary Edition on Ebay a few months ago. Since we were each in the middle of other books, we agreed to wait until January 1 to start. Since then, we have been reading about 10 pages a day. At times, I have to read more because the anniversary edition has some bonus material at the end of each chapter, but I don't mind because it gives more clarity to the concepts.

Earlier this week, we read about mission statements when reading about the second habit, begin with the end in mind. The point of a mission statement to give you, your family, or an organization direction. It helps set priorities that will guide you. We both read this concept and just kept reading on thinking we could get to this step later. As we moved on to reading about the next habit, put first things first, and it became obvious that we needed to work on our personal mission statements. I finished mine but was not completely happy with it. Chad didn't finish his because he got overwhelmed and didn't know what direction he wanted to go with it. As we talked about our issues with trying to wright our personal mission statements, we realized that we have similar values and goals (no wonder we are so good together). We have decided that tonight or tomorrow after church, we will sit down and decided a couple's mission statement. The hope is that aby working on a mission statement as a couple, we can make personal mission statements that we are happy with for a while. 

I'm not sure if we are doing this properly. All I know is that we need to have focus as we continue on our journey self-improvement. We let so many things go in the wrong direction over the years (finances, cleanliness of the house, our weight). It is time to get things cleaned up our lives and environment. 

French and Ukelele Learning Update

Learning French again is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I am working in a workbook I bought from Amazon after Christmas. It is set up to help people learn in 30 days, but I have to do it a bit differently because of my schedule. I am working on French 2 days a week for now. Once I get into the swing of things with one of my commitments, I will hopefully be able to work on it at least 3 days a week. Right now, it is kicking my butt, though. It's a bit discouraging to know that I used to know this stuff and not be able to access that information in my brain any longer. I know that the lessons I am doing were spanned over about a week when I was in school, and now I am trying to cram it into one evening. I'm doing it, but I have to go back sometimes because I know I didn't learn everything I needed to the first time. Thankfully, I unlocked some bonus materials by finishing the first chapter and will be able to practice with some recordings and flash cards. I think this workbook is going to take me at least the first quarter of the year to get through. Then, I will decide where to go from there. My plan is to get to the point where I can read the Book of Mormon in French. 

I knew learning the Ukelele would be hard. I have learned a few songs a while back when I got my ukelele (when Sean was still in school), but that has been too long. I am starting all over on this subject, too. Chad gave me a book for Christmas to help with this goal. Most of it has been how to pick one out and how to tune it. I read it, but I already have one and have the app to help me tune it. I have also been reading a book about the history of the ukelele from the library that I have to finish this weekend so I can return it. I am working on this two nights a week as well and may need to add another day, too. A few nights ago, I finally got to the chapter about chords and learned the first one. Today, I veered off my plan a bit and found the YouTube videos I was learning from back in 2021 or 2022 and spent about an hour learning "You are My Sunshine" and "Riptide." I still need to get better at my strumming and the G cord to move on to the next lesson, but I know I can do this. My goal is to have at least 6 songs that I can play well and have memorized. 

January 2026 Bullet Journal and Planner

 

I had way too much fun making my bullet journal spreads for January, but I had fun making them. I basically spent New Year's Eve on them. For the most part, I decided to go with a general winter theme. I have one page that is still winter themed but doesn't use the same materials. I love the way it turned out, but I wish it matched the others a bit better. I have been tracking with them since the first. I've already missed some tasks, but I never said I was perfect. I am better at working towards my goals when I do this in combination with my day planner, though. 

I used my day planner as a to do list of sorts. I have found that using a standard day planner to write down my daily tasks helps me to keep track of what I have and haven't done as well as motivates me to do it. Now that we aren't watching as much TV, I am finding more and more time to get things done and feel like I have really accomplished something with my days. I'm not going to copy my planner pages into this blog each week. It will basically look the same each week up to our trip at the month.