Scared

http://www.fearfuladventurer.com/archives/6873

My new assignment for my English class is to write a personal narrative essay. We are supposed to answer the following questions:

• Why is this important to me?
• Why do I still remember this?
• How did this change me?
• So what? What might others take from this experience?

The topics I thought of are: my divorce (I am getting sick of talking about this), the car accident that took my mom and brother from this life, or my mom's many trips to the hospital for depression. I am leaning towards the car accident. Just thinking about talking about it THIS in depth scares me. I think I am mostly scared of bearing this part of my soul to class members. What if I show how weak my testimony is? What if people think I am some kind of wierdo because I this is still so painful after 20 years? At the same time, what if writing this essay heals my heart a bit more? What if this is what I need to do to continue to move on?

Quality Time

To My Chad

I am thankful that I am blessed with three wonderful children. I am blessed to be sharing them with the best example I could ask for. He may not be their father by blood, but he is the one who puts Noel to bed at night, helps lead our house, encourages them in everything they do to the best of his ability, and shows them how to work hard for what they want. 

My Divine Roll

about a month before Noel was born

When I was growing up, the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up was a mommy. I got my wish January 10, 2002; September 25, 2003; and November 22, 2005. Eric, Sean, and Noel are my greatest blessings and my biggest responsibilities. Heavenly Father has entrusted them into my care. As a mother, I am to nurture, love, respect, and teach them. 

If I don't do my part to teach them how to live the gospel, I will be held responsible. That is overwhelming at times. When they were little, they loved to share their testimonies, go to church activities, and say prayers. Since their dad put aside his beliefs, it has been a struggle. I am not going to stop trying though.

Mosiah 4:14-15 "And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil...But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another."

Eternal Marriage

I too this from my friend's Facebook page.

You Are Not Alone

This reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Michael McClean.

Your not alone
Even tho' right now you're on your own.
You are loved in ways that can't be shown;
You're needs are know;
You're not alone.
And when you cry
You're just letting go a heartache deep inside.
So tomorrow there'll be sunshine in the sky-
And love close by:
Your're not alone. 

This artist and this song have helped me through many trials including the tragic death of my mom and brother when I was 18. He does an amazing job of writing songs that speak to my heart.

"We Believe As We...Make and Keep Sacred Covenants"

When I was a 12 to 18 years old, I was in a wonderful organization called Young Women. In my early 20's, I had the privilege to serve in the presidency with the best girls ever. Every Sunday for the years I was either a girl participating or a leader assisting, we recited the theme of the Young Women. It has changed slightly since then, but the lessons I learned from it remain the same.

http://robbygurlscreations.blogspot.com/2011/03/young-women-manual-2-lesson-41-optimism.html

Making and keeping sacred covenants is near the end, but that doesn't mean it is not important. A covenant made with God is sacred. It is a two way promise; we promise to follow His teachings; He promises to give us blessings. The wonderful part of these covenants is that He doesn't break his part of the promise. In Doctrine and Covenants 82:10, the Lord promises, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

When we perform ordinances in the temple, we make covenants with the Lord. In The Power of  Covenants, Eler D. Todd Christofferson says, "If we are faithful to the covenants make there, we become inheritors not only of the celestial kingdom but of exaltation, the highest glory within the heavenly kingdom, and we obtain all the divine possibilities God can give." Isn't this amazing! By making and keeping sacred covenants, we can receive the ultimate eternal rewards. Can we really ask for more? 

Yes, Eric Clapton. I Will Still Be The Same If You Saw Me In Heaven

http://thelivingtruthfellowship.org/jtltf/bible-teachings/articles-by-topc/life-and-death/121-will-christians-really-live-in-heaven-forever

When I was much younger, Eric Clapton's song, Tears In Heaven, asked though provoking questions.

Would you know my name
If I way you in heaven?
Would you be the same
If I say you in heaven?

This song was written shortly after his son had passed away in a tragic accident. He missed his son dearly.
As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints, we have answers. In Finding Happiness, a talk given by Elder Richard G. Scott, we learn, "...we willnever lose our identity or memory of cherished relationships..." As someone who has lost loved ones, this is a comfort.
If we live righteously and make and keep sacred covenants, we will be with our families in the eternities, and we will know each other because we will still be the same.