I have chosen a major because I feel like it is what I am supposed to study. When I tell people what I am studying, I usually get the a response similar to, "What are you going to do with that?" Well, I am am going to help women get out of marriages like my first one or worse. I am going to help empower the those who feel like they don't have a voice. I am going to help them learn that they are loved for who they are no matter what.
This semester, I am taking Intro to Social Work. I am learning a lot about other cultures and how social work was developed. I am also experiencing some triggers. Learning about how people are treated because of things they cannot control is really hard. I could not control a lot about who I was when I married my first husband. I was never good enough. At one time, I was not enough like his mom. Then, I was too much like his mom. I was told I was stupid, not a good mom, a glorified babysitter, and the list goes on. I had truly felt like I had forgiven him, but it is not that easy. I have to keep working on it as he continues to cut me down, and I learn about more injustices in the world.
I know I have a better life than a lot of people, but that does not take away the fact that I am a survivor of emotional, mental, financial, and spiritual abuse. I hope that some day I can work past this and not have triggers in classes or the real world that bring me into a spiral of depression.
