Birthday Week for My Boy

Chad will be working out of town for most of the week. This means he will be getting home late on Sean's birthday (Thursday). Since Chad was so excited to see Sean's face when he opened his presents, we let him open the gift we got him as well as the gifts Chad's parents and brother gave him today. Later this week, we will take him out for his birthday lunch/dinner and he gets to pick our family activity for the weekend. (We only get them one or two weekends out of the month, so we try to make them count.)

Always Changing

There have been a lot of changes in my family in the past few months. I started a new job, Sean attended he last year of Cub Scout Day Camp, and Chad was ordained an Elder in June. I turned 36 (yes, I am being honest about my age), Eric went to Boy Scout Camp for the first time, and we went on a family trip in July. The kids started their first day of 7th, 5th, and 3rd grade in August. As always, there will continue to be changes in this family we just don't always know what they will be.
The job change was a necessary thing. I was working at Convergys and becoming more miserable every day, and the kids were not doing behaving well being at home alone all day once summer began. After speaking to my manager about the signs that the site was going to be closing, I decided that I was being lead in a different direction. I applied at several positions, prayed to find the right job to fit our family's needs, and was hired within a week and a half of applying at Network Global Logistics as a dispatcher. I now work the graveyard shift so that I can be home for my kids, and I feel like my work is actually making a difference in people's lives.
Seeing my sweet boy attend his last year of day camp was bittersweet. He had a lot of fun, and I got to be a part of that for a day. However, this does mean that my sweet little boy is growing up WAY too fast.
When Chad and I were married two and a half years ago it was with the understanding that he was "never" going to be the priesthood holder that most Latter Day Saint women desire to marry. Because of my experiences with my ex-husband, I didn't want that either. Someone else had different plans for us. It is nice to have such a loving, caring man in my life who is teaching me by the example that he sets for the entire family.
Turning 36 was hard. It meant I had been here on Earth just as long without my mom and brother as I was with them. I got through it, though. My husband, kids, and friends are amazing! The gospel is amazing! I would have been miserable on my birthday if I didn't have so many blessings in my life.
Eric survived his first full week (Monday through Friday) without his family. When he returned home on Saturday, we held each other and cried tears of joy. (I imagine it will be this way when I am reunited with my mom and brother someday.) He had a lot of fun and learned may things. He has a great scout leader that helped him get through being homesick and a best friend that was by is side for most of the time they spent there.
We went camping and fishing for the weekend as a family at the end of July. We had so much fun that we plan to do it again at least once next year (hopefully without the heavy wind).
Back to School Night came with the reality that my baby is now going to the big kids' hall at school. Somehow it is easier to have the oldest in middle school and the middle one in his last year of elementary. As I walked with the littlest of my clan across the hall from the middle one, tears welled up in my eyes. How can she be big enough for this already?
I love my family. I am glad that we get to grow and change together. Some changes are planned. Some are not as planned. Planned or not planned, we have been blessed in many ways.

me had a hamster once.

This is my hamster, Lucy.(lu-SEE)She passed away today. And by the way, this is Sean. She was soft, fluffy, and so CUTE! She was the best of all three of my hamsters. I also found a couple weird al songs. here is our favorite.

FUNNY STUFF!

Half of My Life

I have come to the realization that this year, as I am getting ready to turn 36, I will have lived just as long on this earth without my mom and brother as I did with them. It hurts. It hurts physically. It hurts mentally. It hurts more than any other birthday since the car accident that took them from me.

An Answer to Prayer

Those that truly know me know that I have struggled with my testimony for about five or six years. What you may not know is that I have never completely stopped praying. I haven't made any real big decisions without praying about it first. That includes filing for divorce in 2011 and getting married in 2012.

For those who know my family, you know that I have problems with getting my oldest son to want to do well in school. (He is smart enough. He just doesn't want to put it on paper to prove it.)

Now to tie these things together...

At the end of March, I was at my whits end with my child. I was frustrated that he wasn't applying himself in school. I was frustrated that he never brought anything home. I was frustrated that I had to hear from a friend that my son and her son were not doing well at all in school instead of from the teachers. When my son told me that his class rotation had been changed so that he was no longer in classes with his best friend, my friend's son, it angered me that the change was made without me even knowing it was needed. I called the principal and a meeting was made with her and all of his core teachers.

I left two hours early to assure I would get to the school on time, giving me an hour to get there. Not only did I get there on time, I was half an hour early. Since the school is not near any business and I didn't want to be the creepy lady sitting in front of the middle school for a half hour before the bell rang, I took the drive down to the nearest truck stop to get gas and use the rest room.

On the way down, I turned off the radio, and  I started praying. I prayed harder than I ever have in my life. I poured  my heart out. I didn't have an agenda. I just needed help.

Even though I don't think I got the resolution I was looking for at the school, I did get an answer to my prayers. About a week later, the sister missionaries started teaching our family. As a family, we have done our best to meet their challenges. Through these challenges, we have grown closer as a family and closer to the gospel.

I know that prayers are answered. Through this experience, I also know that our Heavenly Father wants to help us. He is waiting for us to humble ourselves and ask.

Trying Something New

I have been battling my kids' sense of entitlement more and more as they get older. I know this is my fault. I have tried to give them what I can. I have used electronics as babysitters. I have let them get away with more than I am willing to admit. There are several reason (excuses) I have done this such as:

• I just wanted them to be happy.
• I didn't think the rules could be enforced until I got home from work.
• I didn't give them a smart phone, TV in their rooms, the most updated tablet, or (for the boys) even their own room like some of their friends (this one was just me justifying the decisions I have made).
• It was just plain easier to give in!

The result of me being too permissive has been for the most part not in my favor. I struggle to get the house clean and am embarrassed when people stop by unannounced. The kids were getting more and more disrespectful. The more time the kids spent with electronic entertainment, the more they begged to spend time with me or to play with their toys/friends. The electric bill was the highest I have ever seen it (including when the fans and swamp cooler were running in the summer). The oldest one's grade were in the toilet. NO ONE WAS TRULY HAPPY!

Since November we have been trying to come up with ideas to make the kids more account able and cut out what we call "flashy screen time" little by little while earning some of the things they take for granted (like computer time) and gets me more involved with them as well. 

The first thing that we did was create a reward system that would speak to my kids specifically. We had tried using jars in the past for rewards (you know fill the jar then you get something). It just took too long to fill the jar. While talking to my brother-in-law in Thanksgiving about the jars, he suggested some kind of way for the kids to earn smaller things as they go. I got a a tape measure and make eight equally spaced marks on the jars calling each one a level. Then, I sat down with the kids and they decided what the rewards would be for each "level." The ultimate goal was going to a movie. Next, I explained to them how they would earn these rewards: each time they did homework, a chore, were good during family prayer, stayed in their bed without playing/talking to their sibling, or were caught doing something good that they weren't asked to do, they would get a rock in the jar (small decorative fish rocks). By the end of February, they all earned a trip to a movie (we saw the Lego Movie). The kids decided they liked this reward system, so we dumped out the rocks and started over with new rewards that they got to chose. I would have to say, it has been working better than I thought it would. 

The next step came after catching my oldest walking out of a class at church playing on his tablet (which he has pointed out doesn't have a camera or microphone on it and is not as good as this friend's or that friend's tablet). He no longer gets to have the tablet in his possession after I pick him up from his weekend with his dad on Sunday mornings. There is also a no video game or You Tube rule on Sunday. (We tried no "flashy screen" rule on Sundays, but it just wasn't realistic at this time.)

To help my oldest with is his grade issues, I no longer let him bring his tablet or phone to school. I would like to say his grade are improving, but I don't think enough time has passed to tell (it has only been about three weeks).

Most recently, after seeing the damage to my desk, I completely took away computer privileges for a little while, and then put in place a way for them to earn computer time. They have the opportunity to to earn computer time through chores. One "big chore" (ex. cleaning the bath tub or doing a load of laundry) earns them an hour on the computer. During spring break, this worked great. It is a bit more difficult now that they only have about 2 hours after school before the flashy screens are turned off and there are three kids, but we are still working out the kinks.

I can feel this house becoming more of a home, and I am hoping that we keep making progress in our home.

Cheering for Our Team

We watch the Super Bowl last night. Our team was playing. We were ready for them to win. Well, we were a bit disappointed, but we were ready.

The kids even made a banner.

Hot Spot Fail

I failed at getting all of my hot spots clean this last week, so I have to do them this week. I can do it! Here are some pictures of what they look like right now:

See what I mean. MESSY!

Hot Spot Challenge Week Two - Done!

I am happy to say that I have successfully completed week two of the hot spot challenge. The only things left on my computer desk and kitchen island are the things that belong there. This was harder than last week of course, but I can say that my island was clean enough yesterday for my son to take a small hammer to each piece of cereal that he spilled yesterday morning. 

The embarrassing part of all of this is that I still have more hot spots in my house. Up next, my piano including the floor underneath it. (Is it just me or is this getting to be fun, Melissa?)

I'M AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM AWESOME! I can't see exactly why nobody likes me, (cause I'm awesome) but I'M AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JASPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By Sean

This is Jasper. I mean, a pic of Jasper.(AKA, Jaspie)           HE'S CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You just CAN'T tell me he isn't.

Pinewood Derby 2014

This is our last year of Pinewood Derby since my younger boy will be 11 this year. We had fun making a tank for his car this year, and he won most unique.

We all dressed in camouflage in support of this awesome camouflage tank.

As we left the house, Sean announced his goal was to win at least one race. After adding some weights donated by one of the dads, he  won two!

In the end, we had a lot of fun! I will miss Pinewood Derby next year (maybe).

Next Hot Spot Challenge

This week I will be cleaning up my desk and keeping the island clean. Are you ready for my desk before picture? I'm sure not, but here it is:

Lovely!

First Hot Spot Challenge Complete

Other than the things that are supposed to be on my island, it is completely clean. I don't even have a single crumb on it. It hasn't looked this nice since Thanksgiving! If I keep this up, I may have a clean house soon...

Hot Spot Challenge

My friend and I have a friendly challenge. We each have to clean one hot spot this week and keep it clean once it is clean. Here is the before picture of my kitchen island:

I will post my after picture next Sunday.

2013 In Review

Eric and Sean won first and second prize in the science fair at their school.

Eric participated in his last Pinewood Derby as a Cub Scout.

Sean had fun making participating in his second Pinewood Derby.

 

Eric earned his Arrow of Light and crossed over to Boy Scouts.

Carrie, Marleah, and I were finally together again.

Noel had her first trip to the ER.

Eric and Sean got glasses.

Eric went to Outdoor Ed for his 5th grade trip.

I finally got flowers for Mother's Day! (I love my husband!)

Sean was accepted into SAGE (the program for kids who are advanced in reading and math).

Chad and I finished our first 5K.

Eric started 6th grade in a new school (Weld Central Middle School).

Noel started 2nd grade, and Sean started 4th grade. (Sean wasn't as excited as the others.)

We visited the Lego exhibit at the Longmont Museum and Cultural Center.

My sweet grandmother, Ila Mitchell, passed away.

I went to Michigan for her funeral and to visit with the family.

Noel was baptized by her grandpa. 

(I did my first big sewing project since I made my wedding dress.)

The kids had a great Christmas!

WE HAD A GREAT YEAR! 

Lunch Date

 

I took 3 personal days off work this week. (I also have use it or lose it PTO that has to be used by the end of the year.) My boys each had performances this week that I wanted to make sure I didn't miss. Wednesday, I went with the family Eric's performance. Thursday, we saw Sean's performance. Today, I was hoping to relax and do homework most of the day.
My daughter decided that today was the day I should have lunch with her. I eat lunch with my kids at least once a month (when I have a day off in the middle of the week and work Saturdays), and I have been doing this since I have been working day shifts. I had lunch with the 2 younger kids last week since I had Wednesday off and worked Saturday (the big kid goes to middle school which is quite a bit further away and has lunch at the same time as his sister). I like doing this because I don't feel like I see my kids as much as they deserve.
I feel like I eat lunch with my kids more than most moms. The older the kids are, the less I see moms at lunch. In fact, I don't think I have seen a mom this school year yet. I love my children. However, when she decides that I have to have lunch with her, I feel less excited to do so. (We all know that I am on my way out the door to eat with Noel and Sean right now.)

So Professional

Noel and Tommy 2011

Noel and her cousin will forever have a special bond. Tommy was born on Noel's second birthday. She doesn't remember ever having a birthday that she didn't share. He has always shared a birthday. 

This morning, while getting ready for school, the phone rang. I heard a cute little voice on the other line. The conversation with this adorable boys went something like this:

Tommy: Um...Noel...this is Thomas.

Me: Did you want to talk to Noel?

Tommy: Yes. This is Thomas.

Me: Happy birthday!

Tommy: Thank you. 

Gotta love a kid that uses the name that is only said when he is in trouble on the phone.

Making Up for the Missing Parent

Once again, I found myself trying to comfort my daughter because her dad isn't doing what she expected. This seems to be the theme with my kids this year. Even though my husband and I do everything we can to make birthdays special, plan fun things for the weekends we have them, and fill in when their dad isn't there for them, it doesn't change the fact that the kids are disappointed when their dad doesn't deliver what they expect.
Last year, he was rude and obnoxious about wanting Noel for half of her birthday even though it was on Thanksgiving and it was my turn to have the kids for Thanksgiving. I eventually gave in and let him take her out for breakfast or lunch (I don't remember which). Yesterday, my sweet girl came to me in tears after school and told me that she wasn't going to be able to see her dad on her birthday. I hadn't even thought about it. I figured he would maybe want to do something the next day at least since he has been so partial to her since we split. I called him to get the whole story. He said that he would maybe call her that day. I ended up putting Noel on the phone because I am tired of giving them his bad news/making up for his decisions this year. She cried as she talked to him, but basically go the same answer she had received Tuesday. I once again had to comfort by child because of his selfishness.
Now, I feel compelled to make tomorrow everything she has dreamed it would be. I need to make cookies for her to bring to her class, finish her baptism dress, make sure we have all the fixings for the dinner she wants me to make,go to her class party, and make her favorite cake (I think she may be the only one that REALLY likes it). On top of that, I have to make sure I do everything within the restricted budget that we have been living on since her dad stopped paying child support. (I don't mean that as we are poor. We just have a smaller budget than I would like.) It's a good thing that she understands that the two parents that she lives with will do what they can to make her day special.

I Will Catch Up

My plan today is to catch up on my posts. I have the next few days off of work. I am working on making a dress for Noel for her baptism, so I won't have a lot of time. I will definitely post information about her baptism and pictures of her pretty dress.

Parent/Teacher Conference

I started this post a little over a month ago:

This week I went to parent/teacher conferences for two kids before school. (The other kid told me that his school was having conferences the morning of and I work nights, so I couldn't arrange to go.) The first one was on Tuesday with my daughter's teacher. She is in second grade.  I got mixed reviews from her teacher. It seems she is doing great in math. She was able to answer some questions on the assessment that she "wasn't supposed to know yet." That was quite exciting to hear! Then came the rough to hear news. She is behind in reading. She is testing a grade level behind. I had to ask questions about how to help her. My boys have always been so advanced in reading that the teachers were in awe. Reading just came natural to them. I asked her teacher what I could do. She gave me some suggestions. As far as what they are doing at school to help her...she will be starting a new program next week that will last 10 weeks and has been known to help, and she has been working with a teacher that helps kids who are behind in reading for a few weeks. She, then, told me her other concern. Noel is a bit too social in class. She talks to and plays with her friends when she should be learning. We explained to my sweet little girl that if she would pay attention more in class, it may help. She paid extra attention in class for the rest of the week. When I called the kids' dad to let him know what the teacher said, he said he will talk to his mom and get some suggestions. For now, I am going to set aside time for reading with just her in the morning (I found out when she is reading by herself at night she is just looking at the pictures.)
The next day, I had conference with Sean's teacher. It was quite a different experience. He reads at a very advanced reading level (she didn't tell me the grade level), and is in an advanced math program. She, for some reason, wasn't as positive as I would have though. She pointed out that he tested as "advanced" on his math and reading TCAP tests. Then, she stressed that he tested as, "only proficient (at grade level)" in writing. (I though that was pretty dang good considering she had said that as a school they were a bit behind in writing.) Her main concern was the same I have heard since Sean was in kindergarten, he isn't very social and will not work in a group unless he is forced to. I, again, called the kids' dad to let him know what the teacher had said. He was pleased and not surprised at what she had said about his personality or test scores pointing out that Sean's aversion to working with a group is a lot like mine (social situations are hard sometimes).

UPDATE: Noel is now checking out grade level books at school, and reading them out loud very well. The changes that were made at home and at school have helped her a lot. I can't believe how quickly she is improving!

I Will Miss You

My grandparents at my sister's wedding

A wonderful lady passed away today. My sweet grandma. I don't know what to say about her right now. I think I am just too numb. She turned 86 two days ago. Right now the main thing that I can think of is that I forgot to call her on her birthday. I really wish I had talked to her even if it would have been for just a few minutes.
She battled cancer for many years. I can't even remember how many times were were told that she only had about a year left. I can tell you that the last time I remember hearing that was during my divorce over 2 years ago. She put up a good fight!
Sean came to me after he went to bed and simply said, "Cancer sucks. I have now had two people in my life die because of it." We don't know if that was what took her at this point, but to a kid who has never known her to not have cancer that has already lost a cousin to the horrible disease, that is how he sees it. All I could do was give him a hug and tell him that I know she loved him even if she didn't get to see him much. I also told him that he gets his love for reading from her. I told him about how when he was a baby and we went out to Michigan to see my grandparents how happy she was that he sat on her lap and listened to her read to him. He gave me a little sad smile and hugged me again and went to bed.