Lunch Date

 

I took 3 personal days off work this week. (I also have use it or lose it PTO that has to be used by the end of the year.) My boys each had performances this week that I wanted to make sure I didn't miss. Wednesday, I went with the family Eric's performance. Thursday, we saw Sean's performance. Today, I was hoping to relax and do homework most of the day.
My daughter decided that today was the day I should have lunch with her. I eat lunch with my kids at least once a month (when I have a day off in the middle of the week and work Saturdays), and I have been doing this since I have been working day shifts. I had lunch with the 2 younger kids last week since I had Wednesday off and worked Saturday (the big kid goes to middle school which is quite a bit further away and has lunch at the same time as his sister). I like doing this because I don't feel like I see my kids as much as they deserve.
I feel like I eat lunch with my kids more than most moms. The older the kids are, the less I see moms at lunch. In fact, I don't think I have seen a mom this school year yet. I love my children. However, when she decides that I have to have lunch with her, I feel less excited to do so. (We all know that I am on my way out the door to eat with Noel and Sean right now.)

So Professional

Noel and Tommy 2011

Noel and her cousin will forever have a special bond. Tommy was born on Noel's second birthday. She doesn't remember ever having a birthday that she didn't share. He has always shared a birthday. 

This morning, while getting ready for school, the phone rang. I heard a cute little voice on the other line. The conversation with this adorable boys went something like this:

Tommy: Um...Noel...this is Thomas.

Me: Did you want to talk to Noel?

Tommy: Yes. This is Thomas.

Me: Happy birthday!

Tommy: Thank you. 

Gotta love a kid that uses the name that is only said when he is in trouble on the phone.

Making Up for the Missing Parent

Once again, I found myself trying to comfort my daughter because her dad isn't doing what she expected. This seems to be the theme with my kids this year. Even though my husband and I do everything we can to make birthdays special, plan fun things for the weekends we have them, and fill in when their dad isn't there for them, it doesn't change the fact that the kids are disappointed when their dad doesn't deliver what they expect.
Last year, he was rude and obnoxious about wanting Noel for half of her birthday even though it was on Thanksgiving and it was my turn to have the kids for Thanksgiving. I eventually gave in and let him take her out for breakfast or lunch (I don't remember which). Yesterday, my sweet girl came to me in tears after school and told me that she wasn't going to be able to see her dad on her birthday. I hadn't even thought about it. I figured he would maybe want to do something the next day at least since he has been so partial to her since we split. I called him to get the whole story. He said that he would maybe call her that day. I ended up putting Noel on the phone because I am tired of giving them his bad news/making up for his decisions this year. She cried as she talked to him, but basically go the same answer she had received Tuesday. I once again had to comfort by child because of his selfishness.
Now, I feel compelled to make tomorrow everything she has dreamed it would be. I need to make cookies for her to bring to her class, finish her baptism dress, make sure we have all the fixings for the dinner she wants me to make,go to her class party, and make her favorite cake (I think she may be the only one that REALLY likes it). On top of that, I have to make sure I do everything within the restricted budget that we have been living on since her dad stopped paying child support. (I don't mean that as we are poor. We just have a smaller budget than I would like.) It's a good thing that she understands that the two parents that she lives with will do what they can to make her day special.

I Will Catch Up

My plan today is to catch up on my posts. I have the next few days off of work. I am working on making a dress for Noel for her baptism, so I won't have a lot of time. I will definitely post information about her baptism and pictures of her pretty dress.

Parent/Teacher Conference

I started this post a little over a month ago:

This week I went to parent/teacher conferences for two kids before school. (The other kid told me that his school was having conferences the morning of and I work nights, so I couldn't arrange to go.) The first one was on Tuesday with my daughter's teacher. She is in second grade.  I got mixed reviews from her teacher. It seems she is doing great in math. She was able to answer some questions on the assessment that she "wasn't supposed to know yet." That was quite exciting to hear! Then came the rough to hear news. She is behind in reading. She is testing a grade level behind. I had to ask questions about how to help her. My boys have always been so advanced in reading that the teachers were in awe. Reading just came natural to them. I asked her teacher what I could do. She gave me some suggestions. As far as what they are doing at school to help her...she will be starting a new program next week that will last 10 weeks and has been known to help, and she has been working with a teacher that helps kids who are behind in reading for a few weeks. She, then, told me her other concern. Noel is a bit too social in class. She talks to and plays with her friends when she should be learning. We explained to my sweet little girl that if she would pay attention more in class, it may help. She paid extra attention in class for the rest of the week. When I called the kids' dad to let him know what the teacher said, he said he will talk to his mom and get some suggestions. For now, I am going to set aside time for reading with just her in the morning (I found out when she is reading by herself at night she is just looking at the pictures.)
The next day, I had conference with Sean's teacher. It was quite a different experience. He reads at a very advanced reading level (she didn't tell me the grade level), and is in an advanced math program. She, for some reason, wasn't as positive as I would have though. She pointed out that he tested as "advanced" on his math and reading TCAP tests. Then, she stressed that he tested as, "only proficient (at grade level)" in writing. (I though that was pretty dang good considering she had said that as a school they were a bit behind in writing.) Her main concern was the same I have heard since Sean was in kindergarten, he isn't very social and will not work in a group unless he is forced to. I, again, called the kids' dad to let him know what the teacher had said. He was pleased and not surprised at what she had said about his personality or test scores pointing out that Sean's aversion to working with a group is a lot like mine (social situations are hard sometimes).

UPDATE: Noel is now checking out grade level books at school, and reading them out loud very well. The changes that were made at home and at school have helped her a lot. I can't believe how quickly she is improving!

I Will Miss You

My grandparents at my sister's wedding

A wonderful lady passed away today. My sweet grandma. I don't know what to say about her right now. I think I am just too numb. She turned 86 two days ago. Right now the main thing that I can think of is that I forgot to call her on her birthday. I really wish I had talked to her even if it would have been for just a few minutes.
She battled cancer for many years. I can't even remember how many times were were told that she only had about a year left. I can tell you that the last time I remember hearing that was during my divorce over 2 years ago. She put up a good fight!
Sean came to me after he went to bed and simply said, "Cancer sucks. I have now had two people in my life die because of it." We don't know if that was what took her at this point, but to a kid who has never known her to not have cancer that has already lost a cousin to the horrible disease, that is how he sees it. All I could do was give him a hug and tell him that I know she loved him even if she didn't get to see him much. I also told him that he gets his love for reading from her. I told him about how when he was a baby and we went out to Michigan to see my grandparents how happy she was that he sat on her lap and listened to her read to him. He gave me a little sad smile and hugged me again and went to bed.

Dungeon Hunter 4

HEY!!!! It's Eric here and I just want to talk about my favorite game, Dungeon Hunter 4 for mobile devices. I, so far, have deleted a level 13 Battleworn to make a new character. Sean has a level 8 Sentinel and I only have two character slots, if you're wondering why. I'm definitely going to make another Battleworn as my new character. Here's a picture of a Battleworn for ya.

Friday, August 30, 1996

This day forever changed my life. It was the day two of my favorite people passed away in a car accident that could have been prevented.
This is not going to be an "I'm sad. My life sucks." post. I am sad sometimes. That will never go away. My life doesn't suck, though. I have a husband and three beautiful kids that love me and I love them, and I just got promoted at my job.

This is just a warning post.

Seventeen years ago today, my mom, her friend, and my brother decided that they would drive through the night to go to visit my aunt rather than their original plan to leave the next morning after they got some sleep. My mom and brother died because the driver of the car (who lived) fell asleep at the wheel and ALMOST got the car back on the highway when she realized what had happened. She hit a guardrail. My brother, who was asleep in the backseat without a seat belt on, was thrown out the back window. My mom, who was asleep in the front passenger seat with a seat belt on, was crushed. They both died instantly. 
So may people leave late at night or in the extremely early hours of the morning to go on trips, especially people with kids who want them to sleep through the long car ride because "it is so much easier and quieter that way." I am a parent and understand how this would sound better, but it is not. How would these people feel if they fell asleep at the wheel and it cause harm to one of those precious creatures that would need to be entertained if they would have just waited until morning to leave.
I have heard people laugh and joke about the times they have started to fall asleep at the wheel. It is not funny. It is not a joke. Real people have been hurt in accidents caused by people either falling asleep at the wheel or almost falling asleep at the wheel.
PLEASE, sleep before you drive!

I Love This Guy

 

My husband is a loving and caring man. He works overtime to help me support three beautiful, fast growing, always hungry kids. He listens to me complain and vent, no matter how big or small. He encourages Sean in his new-found interest in sports. He encourages the kids and me when it comes to school and other positive goals we have in life. Really, he does so much for this family, I can't even name it all. He asks for so little in return. How could I not love someone who selflessly and unconditionally loves all of us?

TOBUCUS IS AWESOME!!!!!!

Hello once again everyone who reads this blog. It`s Sean again. And I just watched a lot of Tobuscus videos. Here is a picture of him. He does amazing you tube videos.

I Just Want to Go Back

When I started the re-entry process with Everest University Online, I was told I would be starting classes on Monday. It turns out that I still had a long process to go through once my appeal was accepted before I could start classes. My appeal was accepted last week. This week I had to go through the application process and work with financial aid. When I spoke to an adviser on Monday, he said that it would be an easy process and since I was unable to complete it while on the phone, he would send me step by step instructions to complete when I got home after work. Then, he would send my info to financial aid so that I would be able to have that completed the next day. I told him that I didn't like that classes had already started and didn't want to start too far behind. He said that I should be ready in two or three days. I was fine with that because I was taking two days off plus the weekend for my birthday and could devote more time to homework without worrying about the end of the week crunch that I was trying to stay away from. I, also, didn't want to have to start a week late into the term. I have done that before and it wasn't a good start for the term. I know and understand that I am the one who had bad grades causing me to be dropped form the program and have to go through this process, but I would think that since I did make an agreement to improve, and finish the program, they would at least make it easier to get back in. It seams like every time I ask if I can be registered and get started, there is some other form for me to e-sign or re-do. It is now Friday. Assignments are due Saturday night. I can't make up class discussions. The last term that I was in I was enrolled late due to some computer glitch that affected many students, and the teachers wouldn't give extentions. What if that happens again? Since I am on academic probation, I have to get ALL assignments turned in this terms to continue. At this rate, I will not be able to complete the first week. When I am finished with this program, and/or have raised my GPA enough to transfer to another school, I will NEVER attend this school again. I am also warning anyone who reads this DO NOT attend Everest University Online! They set you up for failure!

Guess Who?

Getting Too Big

My oldest has been sleeping on the couch this summer because it is too hot on the top bunk (we have no air conditioning). He is an amazing sleeper. He sleeps through the hubby getting ready for work, me leaving on my runs and coming back, his brother and sister waking up and eating breakfast, and the dogs barking most of the time. This is the same kid that woke up every two hours at night until he was two or three and didn't really sleep through the night until he was five. The same kid that, as a baby, was really hard to get to sleep in the first past and way too easy to wake up, too.
The other day I went out to the living room and watched my big 11 year old sleeping, and I realized he is getting really big. Yes, he is still a bit small for his age, but compared to a year ago, he is big. What happened to my kid that grew slowly? Am I really ready for this?

School Decisions

I have been trying to make the decision on what school I will be attending. I know that I need to finish a degree program. There are just a few questions that need to be answered: What program do I need to complete? Where should I go?

To really start this story properly, I would have to go back to September of 2007. I was at Women's Conference and President Thomas S. Monson (at the time he was the First Counselor in the General Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints) gave a talk that spoke to me more than any other conference talk has spoken to be in my life. More specifically two paragraphs spoke to me loud and clear. He said, "Beyond our study of spiritual matters, secular learning is also essential. Often the future is unknown; therefore, it behooves us to prepare for uncertainties. Statistics reveal that at some time, because of the illness or death of a husband or because of economic necessity, you may find yourself in the role of financial provider. Some of you already occupy that role. I urge you to pursue your education—if you are not already doing so or have not done so—that you might be prepared to provide if circumstances necessitate such.

"Your talents will expand as you study and learn. You will be able to better assist your families in their learning, and you will have peace of mind in knowing that you have prepared yourself for the eventualities that you may encounter in life." 

At the time, I didn't feel like I had a reason to question the relationship I was in. It wasn't great, but I didn't get married to get divorced. The person I was married to at that time had a full time job that was providing for us, and he was going to school. We were temple recommend holders, and lived the lifestyle that went along with that (at least that was what I thought). When I told him about this talk and how it really made me feel like I needed to go to school and get an education, he told me that I couldn't go because I wouldn't be able to handle the temptation and might cheat on him. (For those of you who know the story of my divorce, this is quite an interesting response.) I still couldn't shake this nagging feeling that I needed to go to school.

Skip ahead almost two years. The ex revealed some devastating news, and we separated for the first time. I could make decisions for myself. I started looking into schools and decided that online school would be best because I would have to go to work and leave my kids for the first time and didn't want to leave them for school as well. I decided to attend Everest Online University online and started less than a month later. I love it back then. I felt like I was finally accomplishing this goal that felt like a dream for what seemed like forever.
Now here I am, married to my best friend, someone who respects me, pushed me to reach my true potential, tries to help my reach my goals, and love me with all my quirks. I have been kicked out of school now twice. The first time during my divorce for not attending classes, and the second time for my GPA. I am being recruited back to Everest Online University, but I am trying to decide if it is really the right fit considering it has been four years since I started and I have yet to finish my two year degree. I have looked into other schools, and really like the idea of going to BYU-Idaho's online program. The only problem I have with that is as a transfer student they want me to have a GPA of 2.5 or greater. Mine was far lower than that. I looked into CSU Global Campus, but it just doesn't feel right for some reason.
 I am putting more research and thought it school than I have in the past. I have prayed about it a few times. For now, I feel like I should go back to Everest for at least a little while and raise my GPA so that I can open up more options. I don't think that I will finish my degree at this school because they make it really difficult to stay motivated by making me jump through hoops just to get signed up for classes each term. I know that I need to finish a degree program, I need to set an example for my kids, I need to have more opportunities for greater income and better jobs, and most of all, I need to show myself that I can accomplish a long term goal that I have set for myself.

Dates With Mom

At the beginning of the week, with with advise of both my ex and current husbands (who knew they would agree on anything), I started a reward system where the kids could earn a date night me. I got out an empty jar for each of them to decorate and told them when the jars were full, I would take them out for some one on one time. I made pom poms at the end of the day. The more good choices they made, the bigger the pom pom. I was a good idea, but I may have made those a bit big. All three kids earned a date with mom already. I took Sean out last night, and will be taking Eric this afternoon followed by Noel tonight. They all chose to go to Dairy Queen. This could be pricy. I am going to have to find something smaller to fill these jars. The idea was supposed to be me taking them out about once a month. At least it was a good kick off to the reward system though.

This is Sean and I am new to blogging. So for starters, yes I am allowed to do this so, I'll just show a pic. All I said was " I'll just show a pic." I never said WHAT pic. I'm done cause my OLDER brother and my YOUNGER sister are annoying me. So I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Becoming Active

 My husband and I have been doing things to be more active. We have been riding bikes and training to run a few 5Ks at the end of the summer.  I have been doing some Zumba and Yoga DVDs as well. We are doing this to improve our health mostly.
This healthier lifestyle appears to be rubbing off on the kids. Last summer, they didn't want to do anything but sit and watch TV or play video games. They would complain if I even suggested that they do anything outside. This summer they complain more when we tell them it is time to come in. They do still complain at times that they are bored, but mostly when the neighbor kids aren't home to play with. They have in the last week randomly gone out to ride their bikes with  no prompting.

Circus Train

 

On my way home from work today, I had to stop and wait for for a train. I first, I was really frustrated because I got there just in time to see the crossing gates go down right in front of me. I was ready for the regular boring freight train to go past. Much to my excitement it was a circus train. Not just any circus train, THE circus train! I saw elephants through the windows. People waived to me as they passed by. You would have thought that I was a kid with how excited I was. I came home and told my family about it. I was expecting ooh's and ah's and questions about what I saw or didn't see through the windows. They amused me. I'll give them that. I will just hold on to my memory and excitement. It was awesome!

She Really Got Attention!

The Diva

The Diva's Hand

Yesterday, was the last day of Spring Break (since it was Friday, and the kids will be with their dad until Sunday). To end the week, I decided to bring the kids in to get their eyes checked. Eric had his eyes checked about 4 years ago, and the other 2 have never been to the eye doctor. The kids were nervous and excited. Noel VERY much wanted to get glasses. The boys didn't really, but they knew what I knew, it was most likely time.
We went to Target for their appointments (it is the closest place on my vision insurance). I filled out the paper work as the kids look through the frames to see if there was anything they would like. The boys were indifferent. Noel was in love! Then came the appointments.
Noel was first. She really tried to have problems seeing. When the doctor told her to guess, she always guessed correctly. When he made it a game, she would giggle and be right on the nose each time! No glasses for her, but she is being sent to a specialist for some pressure build up in her eyes. She was devastated!
Next up was Sean. He read the letters down the chart as instructed until her could no longer make out the letters. When the doctor asked him if he could guess, Sean just matter-of-factly told him, "No. I don't know what it is." I could tell this frustrated the poor doctor, but he just kept going. Sean was in that seat the longest of any of my kids. Apparently, he needs glasses for distance, but needs to take them off to read. I never heard of that, but ok.
Last up was Eric. I knew before taking him in that he would need glasses. He has been reading with the book or paper closer to his face and getting closer and closer to the computer screen. He was the main reason I was taking them. Despite his efforts to see, he needs glasses for everything. (Poor kid. It just isn't as exciting at 11 as it would have been at 7.)
We, then, started the task of picking out frames for the boys. They picked out what they liked as my sweet girl begged to get some too. I promised her we would get her some sunglasses as we picked up a few other things we needed at the store. When we were done there came the fun part.
I called their dad to let him know the results of their eye appointments, and he let me know he was on his was to get them for the weekend. Not having their clothes packed yet, I got them each an outfit for them to wear home on Sunday so that we wouldn't have to go back home. I got Noel the most adorable sunglasses ever to make up for her not getting the glasses she was dying for and a few other things I needed to get for the house. Then, I started trying to kill time by looking at the cost of things Eric will need for Outdoor Ed next month. As I was looking at water bottles, it happened. The kids started to play with the weights. Noel picked up a 2 lb. weight and laughed at how light it was. As she was putting it back Eric went to pick up another one and it slipped from his hand. I started to tease him about not being as strong as his little sister when his little sister started crying. She held up her hand. Her finger was already bruising and swelling up. I thought it may be broken and told her we may have to go to the ER. She was scared, so we paid for out things and went home to get ice (I totally forgot their dad was on his way at this point). When we got home, I got a baggie and put ice on her poor finger that by this time was twice as round as normal and put the kids clothes in a bag for them to take for the weekend. Their dad texted me to find out where we were, and I let him know we went home to get ice. He came to get the kids and looked at her finger. He thought the same as I did, and we decided she needed to have it looked at.
She walked into the ER with those adorable sunglasses on to hide her tears, and was treated like the princess that I always tell her she is. When she said the room was cold, they not only gave her a blanket, they wrapped it around her. Several nurses came down to see this cute girl dressed in pink with her "movie star glasses" and asked her what was wrong. Her response was always, "My brother dropped a 2 lb. weight on me finger. He didn't mean to. It was an accident. He just isn't as strong as me." An hour into her first ER visit, they decided to go ahead and x-ray her hand even though by this point they were pretty sure she just had a bruise. About an hour later, the conclusion was just that. It is bruised pretty badly.
That was one long, expensive afternoon!