Making Up for the Missing Parent

Once again, I found myself trying to comfort my daughter because her dad isn't doing what she expected. This seems to be the theme with my kids this year. Even though my husband and I do everything we can to make birthdays special, plan fun things for the weekends we have them, and fill in when their dad isn't there for them, it doesn't change the fact that the kids are disappointed when their dad doesn't deliver what they expect.
Last year, he was rude and obnoxious about wanting Noel for half of her birthday even though it was on Thanksgiving and it was my turn to have the kids for Thanksgiving. I eventually gave in and let him take her out for breakfast or lunch (I don't remember which). Yesterday, my sweet girl came to me in tears after school and told me that she wasn't going to be able to see her dad on her birthday. I hadn't even thought about it. I figured he would maybe want to do something the next day at least since he has been so partial to her since we split. I called him to get the whole story. He said that he would maybe call her that day. I ended up putting Noel on the phone because I am tired of giving them his bad news/making up for his decisions this year. She cried as she talked to him, but basically go the same answer she had received Tuesday. I once again had to comfort by child because of his selfishness.
Now, I feel compelled to make tomorrow everything she has dreamed it would be. I need to make cookies for her to bring to her class, finish her baptism dress, make sure we have all the fixings for the dinner she wants me to make,go to her class party, and make her favorite cake (I think she may be the only one that REALLY likes it). On top of that, I have to make sure I do everything within the restricted budget that we have been living on since her dad stopped paying child support. (I don't mean that as we are poor. We just have a smaller budget than I would like.) It's a good thing that she understands that the two parents that she lives with will do what they can to make her day special.