Volunteering at the Race

I finally had my opportunity to volunteer at a race. I have never done this before, but I was glad I did it. There were many events going on, and I got to congratulate everyone as they came across the finish line. It was a blast, and I would recommend anyone do this that has any interest in the behind the scenes of these events.

The event we attended was the Last Call Triathlon.  There was a traditional sprint triathlon, a super sprint triathlon, one in which people were on paddle boards rather than swimming, aqua bike, and duathlon (I may be forgetting something). Chad participated in the duathlon and did great (in my opinion). I was first stationed with the duathlon participants to make sure they were had the proper markings on their arms and left leg. Then, I was near the transition area to try to keep the spectators off of the course and cheer on the people coming in from the beach to the bikes and direct the runners out of the bikes to the running course. Finally, I was sent to the finish line to collect the timing chips that were on the participants' ankles. It was gross because they were sweating but rewarding because I got to congratulate everyone as they stopped for me to get the bracelets. It was fast moving and made the time go by faster than I believe it would have if I had worked the aid station as I was originally assigned. It was fun to see all of the events as they took place. It was eye opening to see this small part of the innerworkings these events. I would totally recommend anyone interested in racing to do this when they can!

The Purpleness

I may have a bit of an obsession with purple. It snuck up on me. I didn’t used to like purple so much, but I am drawn to it now. It doesn’t even seem to matter what shade it is. 

When I was a kid, purple was the color I was given, and I hated it. My sister would get things in pink, and I was stuck with purple. I remember hating that my mom bought me a purple scripture case because I was stuck with it for the foreseeable future. I still have that scripture case with the stuff in it from my adolescence. It is a reminder of so many things including my mom. 

As I grew up, I tried to avoid the color for many years. I honestly don’t remember when I gave into accepting it. I remember that my favorite shirt my freshman year of high school was a royal purple, but I swore I didn’t like that color at the same time. I remember having a shirt I really liked when I was in my early 20s that was lavender, and there were a few here and there for a while. At that point, I knew it was one of my favorites. It was one of my wedding colors for my first wedding, after all. However, it wasn’t an obsession as far as I remember. 

By the time I married Chad, I knew I loved purple more than any other color even though it was not one of my wedding colors for the most important wedding of my life. Chad had always known of my affinity towards purple and even encouraged it. 

Now, I am sitting at my desk wearing a purple shirt and purple nail polish with a purple stone in my engagement/wedding ring while knitting a purple sweater as I live my purple life. 

So Tired

I have been so tired lately, and I don’t know why. I have been getting to sleep a bit earlier than usual the last few nights, and I still get my 20 minute nap during my lunch break. My schedule hasn’t changed that much other than adding school into the mix, but I do that all of the time without feeling like this. I should go to the doctor to see if my thyroid meds are off, but I hate bloodwork being done. Also, if the prescription is too low, I would have to start taking two pills a day and go back every 60 days until it is figured out. I know these aren’t great reason to not take care of myself. I really should get this figured out so I can feel normal again. 

Volunteer Experience Soon

A few months ago, I signed up to volunteer at a race Chad is doing. Today, I got the email with my assignment because the race is this Saturday. I will be manning the aid station for the run from 8:30 to 10:45. I’m getting so nervous. I know I can’t really mess it up, but I will be with people I don’t know, and I don’t do great in social situations. I’m getting a bit better, but it is still scary. I’m happy that I will be doing something that give me the chance to see him though even if it will be just for a little bit. Also, I should be done in time to cheer him on at the finish line. Hopefully, it will be a good experience. 

Sean is 20

 

Twenty years ago, my Sean was born. The was magic from day one. After a year and a half of getting up every two hours with Eric, I was granted a full night’s sleep the first night with Sean as we spent a night in the hospital alone together. He was my little snuggle boy until he was too big. Now, he is the one that comforts me when I’m sad, hugs me when he feels like it, laughs at my bits of dark humor, and helps fill my life with joy. I love this sweet boy! I couldn’t imagine ifs without him. 

My Sunflowers

 The first year in this house, I planted sunflowers in front of the bay window not knowing how big they would be because I had never done this. They were huge and took over that flower bed as they grew taller than the windows.  I loved them and hoped to be able to grow them again in the future. 

I have tried several times since to grow a beautiful sunflower garden, but I have failed over and over. There were times that they didn’t get enough water, and there were times the bunnies ate them before they could grow. It has been frustrating, but I longed for those beautiful flowers again. 

I tried again this year after getting some advice from a friend about other flowers. I figured I would alter that advice for these flowers, and I threw out everything I had tried in the past. My flower bed that had previously had a few shrubs that had since died was looking sad, so I decided this was the perfect place. I took my envelope of seeds and randomly spread them around. Then, I put a layer of top soil over them and watered them like crazy. (The fact that we had a wet summer for a while helped.) This last week I finally got to start enjoying the fruits of my labor as they started to bloom. (I had a bit of a late start, so I got a late result.) I have loved walking out my front door to more flowers blooming every day! 

Saturday, someone vandalized my flowers. I don’t know who or why. All I know is that the Ring shows my biggest, most beautiful sunflowers swaying in the breeze when Eric picked up Sean to go to a wedding, and they were cut down but the time I left to pick up dinner about 45 minutes later. I honestly would have thought it was the bunnies if one of them had not been cut off at the head and thrown in the middle of the front yard. 

After I got home, I decided to make the best of the situation. I went out and got the flowers to bring in, got out a vase, and cut the stems down to a size that would fit in the vase. Now, I get to enjoy them each time I walk into the dining room which is quite often since it is in the front of the house 

I don’t know why someone chose to hurt my flowers, but I choose to continue to enjoy them. 

The Week

This past week has been a bit hectic. I’m not sure I can pin down all of the reasons but I know some of it has been school related. I have three classes this semester. Two are intense. The other is a class I can din in one or two hours. Noel’s school stuff feels intense, too. Taking her to and from school takes a lot out of me. I need to get her and Sean another appointment for their driving tests. I really need them to be able to drive so I can stop being a taxi. I know that things will be difficult for the rest of the school year as she gets closer to completing high school and I get close to finishing my degree. I am starting to see a glimpse of the bigger picture. I am sure this will all be worth the struggles. 

The Call I Needed

Yesterday, I got to see my Eric. His phone had broken, and we needed to get him a new one. We ended up getting him one of the cheapest phones at the TMobile store because I still have 4 payments left on the one he had, and I still need to buy birthday presents for Sean. He was ok with it and fully understood the reasons. I love when he calls me or wants to see me. I don’t care what the reason is for this to happen. I also like knowing that he still needs me in some little way. (I know he is an adult, but I will always be his mom.) When we were done, I didn’t want to let him go. I knew I would miss him even though I will see him again on Monday. 

This morning I was missing everyone it seemed as I sat at home working with Chad at work at Noel at school. I miss Eric, my dad, my stepmom, and my sister (mostly my sister). Then, I remembered Marleah doesn’t leave for work until about 10am, so I called her. We talked for a little while, and it was wonderful! I needed to just sit and listen to her tell me about my niece and nephew for a while. I needed her to tell me how life in another state was going. I just needed to feel that connection with my sister. It’s hard for her to be so far away as our children are growing up. I never imagined her being gone so long. 

Broken Hook

 My crochet hook broke yesterday. The one I bought at Walmart when I bought the yarn and hooks for my sweater: the sweater I am excited about. I took this hook camping last week. I freaked out when I lost it more than one. Honestly, I love this sparkly, yellow hook. 

I was a bit sad when it broke, but I thought I could fix it somehow. I searched the house for tape, but it has all disappeared. I searched for a hook that I remembered having even though I don’t like it much, but it has disappeared, too. Then, I remembered I have bullet journal supplies. I taped it with washi tape. It wasn’t strong enough to keep using. Then, I remembered I had a hook the same size with the stuff I used to make animals (my “coworkers”) during the pandemic. Thankfully, it works wonderfully and my gauge hasn’t changed, and I can keep working on the (hopefully) perfect, purple sweater. 

The back should be done today, and I will be able to start one side of the front before I pick up Noel from school. 

Small Miracle

Sunday, I accidentally locked my keys in my car. I had them in my crochet bag (I knit or crochet to help me concentrate at church), but stuff fell out when I went back to the car for gum. Some how I missed them when I put stuff back in before I locked the door. 

We have roadside assistance with our insurance which has come in handy in the past, but I wanted to do my best to keep the Sabbath holy, so I asked someone at church that is known for being resourceful if they knew how to break into my car. It is a Kia. I figured it would be easy. Unfortunately, they were not able to despite their best efforts. Reluctantly, I used ordered a locksmith. That was when a small miracle happened. 

I told this man who was trying to help me that the last locksmith the insurance sent out made me uncomfortable, and Chad was busy inside and unable to stay with me. This man with whom we have struggled to get along for years, stayed with me as I waited along with his wife and sons. We talked and laughed and passed the time together. It turned out I had no reason to worry because this locksmith was not creepy and got the job done fast. I appreciated his willingness to help, though. It was the tender mercy I needed at the time. 

How Great Thou Art

The closing hymn in sacrament meeting this last Sunday was How Great Thou Art, a classic, well known Christian hymn. This brought back memories from my childhood. I remember an advertisement on TV selling Andy Griffith’s gospel album. My mom heard a clip of him singing How Great Thou Art and wanted this set of cassettes. She was struggling with the death of her own mother, and the combination of his voice and this hymn was a comfort to her. I don’t remember if she actually ordered the set, but I do remember her reaction when this commercial would come on. As I sang with the congregation, I felt comfort in this memory. I love these sweet memories of my mom experiencing the sweet, tender mercies of the Lord in her time of grief. 

Camping with Friends

 Thursday afternoon, I left with some friends to go camping at Dewey Lake I the Red Feather Lakes area. One friend had a camper that we brought up, and we had a plan to go paddle boarding that night and the next day. We planned this for several weeks. Unfortunately, the weather did not agree with our plans. 

As we drove up, the rainstorms came in. There was rain and snow and more. By the time we got up there, it was only 45 degrees. We were all wearing sandals and were cold by the time we were done setting everything up. The decision was made to turn on the heater in the camper and play games. 

I loved Thursday night. Sitting at the table that would later be my bed, eating good food that one of the ladies brought up and carefully prepared, playing board games, laughing, and talking was the highlight of me week. 

The following day, we got up and tried to make a plan for the day. A fire was built with wet wood and the help of a fire starter log from our neighbors. We had a delicious breakfast prepared by one of the other ladies and hot chocolate in cute mugs that I brought. At this point, the other three ladies decided to go paddle boarding. My board was accidentally left behind, and I was already very cold and struggling to get warm. I decided to sit in a camping chair and crochet near the shore. It was a bit lonely, but I felt like a made the right decision. I would have taken way too long to warm up after going into the water. Even though I know this, I am sad that I didn’t get on the water. 

After a delicious lunch, we drove around in the mountains for a few hours before we were on our way to dinner and home. I was dropped off around 8:30 or 9 last night. It was a long day. My daughter and husband called me as we drove home. My body was tired. My emotions got the best of me at one point. In the end, I was glad to have gone and glad to be home. 

Class Meeting

My new semester started this week. I am taking my last three classes before my internship. That means of course that I am going to have another difficult semester. I will be taking Abnormal Psychology, Teaching Family Life Ed, and a devotional class (a one credit class). 

Last night, I attended a Zoom meeting for the teaching class, and I am both intimidated and excited for this class. I learned about the huge project involved to complete the class and a bit about how it is broken up. I will need to either design a workshop and present it in my community alone or create online learning materials including video presentations with a partner. I am hoping I can find a partner because doing a workshop in front of people I don’t really know sounds like torture to me. I know either one will be a lot of work, and I think I am ready for that. I guess it is a good thing that I was released from my calling so I can concentrate on this better. 

Homecoming Night

Last night was Homecoming for Noel’s school. She went out with a group of friends. I took pictures of her in her dress before she was picked up. She was absolutely beautiful!

Funeral Update

I decided not to attend Matthew Gosset's funeral, but I did bring food for the luncheon for their close friends and family. I did this because I really struggle going to funerals. I know no one likes to go to them. They are not happy events. For me, funerals are reminders of the worst moments of my life. I know that makes me sound selfish, but I feel like I did still serve the family. I even still talked to Matt's dad because he was there when I dropped of the food. I talked to him about his son when my ex taught him. He told he about his death and sad, tragic life leading up to it. He told me about the ways in which he and his family had tried to help him. I made me feel so bad for this poor father and all the family had gone through. I could not imagine what I would have done if my kids were to go down that path. I could see the pain in his eyes as he talked to me. As I was leaving, some of the parents of kids who are now in their 30s from church started showing up and sharing memories of their kids growing up together. I hope these sweet parents felt the support they needed. 

Sweater Restart

I have been faithfully working in my purple sweater for about two and a half weeks. The back was getting huge, and I was using more yarn than I thought I would need. I even ordered more yarn just in case. 

Today, I held up the back panel to see he progress. It was huge! I held it over my back to see if it was my imagination, and it was bigger than I thought. It reached below my knees, and I still had 20 more rows to crochet. I read the instructions for the main stitch again, and realized that I was doing it wrong which made it much bigger. 

The only solution I had was to take it out and start over. That meant unraveling two and a half skeins of yarn. It was a sad process, but I know it would not have worked in any way to keep going. 

I have restarted it, and I am still excited about the sweater. I can’t wait to get it finished. I know it will take longer since I start classes next week, but it will be with it to have the final product. If I have too much yarn, I will make the matching bag. 

Bruno Major Concert

A while back, Noel bought tickets to last night’s Bruno Major concert with the hope that her friend would be able to go with her. She later found out that the friend couldn’t go because it was a school night, so she decided to take me. I have heard a bit of his music when Noel plays it in the car, but I wasn’t as familiar as I would have preferred. Thankfully, he put on a great show. He has a great voice, and I really like his style of music which I would describe as kind of a blues/pop style. That being said, my favorite part was Noel’s reaction to him coming on stage and each song that she got loved. 

The Tenderness

Today in Sacrament Meeting, on of the boys who was going to pass the sacrament got a bloody nose. He calmly walked up to a bishopric member and asked for tissues, and they gave him the box. A bit later, another bishopric member calmly walked down to his bench, a sat down next to him, told him to go to his mom, and asked his own son what he needed to do to take the boy’s place. It didn’t take long for all of the boys to start calmly explain ti him. Then, the older brother of the boy who walked away came to the front bench as he tied his tie and took the spot for his brother.  I sat a few benches away touched by the love, compassion, and tenderness shown by all involved. 

Not Sure How to Feel

I found out today that someone my ex taught in Sunday School many years ago was murdered in Denver this week. When I knew him, he was a troubled kid who had been thigh some horrible things. I worked with his mom at Dish Network for a bit and enjoyed talking to her when she was able to come to church. 

His parents moved out of state about a year ago, and I hadn’t heard from the since. Then, his dad posted something on the ward Facebook page that if anyone wanted funeral information to text him a few days ago. I didn’t even know this person had died. Today, the Elder’s Quorum president sent out an email with the funeral information, so Chad Googled Matthew Gossett to figure out if he knew him and found out what had happen. I told him that he wouldn’t have known him, but I remembered him. 

Now, I don’t know how I am supposed to feel. I didn’t know him that well to begin with, my ex did. I did get to know his mom for a bit, though. I think at this point I feel bad for the parents. I can’t imagine the pain they are feeling right now. They are nice people that have had some bad things happen to them; this would be worse than any problem I know of. I wish there was something I could do to show them my support.