These Kids

 I level these kids more than anything. (Chad has always known this.) As they get older, they continue to amaze me with how much they love each other. There was a time I was worried they would always fight and end up hating each other. I guess that was just a phase. Do they still argue? Sean and Noel do, but it rarely ends with them both angry. They get over it fairly quickly. 

This morning, Eric picked up Sean and Noel for their yearly trip with their grandparents. As they left, I reminded him to drive carefully because they are the three most precious people to me. He just gave me a kind, sweet, uniquely Eric smile and told me he would. 

I already miss these crazy kids., but I hope they have fun and enjoy this time with family. 

Kids Leaving

Every year since the divorce, my kids have gone camping with their grandparents. The first year, I went for the first night and left them when I had to go back to work. Since then, I think their dad went one year, but they usually go without their parents. 

I love that they get to spend time with their dad’s family in this way. It is like a family reunion of sorts and has been their main vacation every year. They always come back with new stories, and they have seen places I hope to go some day. 

Tomorrow morning, Eric will be coming to pick up his brother and sister to embark on this year’s adventure. They aren’t going too far this year, but they will still be together. 

Hat #2

 

I have finished Sean’s hat. This one took longer because Sean has a bigger head than Noel. I think I made it a bit too long, but he seems to like it. I’m going to work on Eric’s next. I think I will make it about 5 to 10 centimeters shorter (the pattern designer is from South America), but his head is about the same size. I am at a point where these hats are a labor of love. 

One Done

 I have finished the first of 4 hats. I did Noel’s first because she needs it for a camping trip she is going on in June, and I wasn’t sure how long it would take. Now, I am working on Sean’s. I should have chosen to do Marleah’s since I will see her next weekend. Maybe I can finish Sean’s at at least start hers before I leave on Friday. 

Mother's Day

 

I have a love/hate relationship with Mother's Day. I have never experienced a Mother's Day as an adult with my mom. She died with I was barely 18. I am jealous of women who get to celebrate being a mom with their mom. It's not something I thought about prior to her death because the idea of me becoming a mom was sometime in the future. 

I spent many years celebrating with a mother-in-law. My first husband's mom (the better mother-in-law) was never offended by my foul mood on a day that reminded me my mom was gone. She was always very understanding. My current mother-in-law is not understanding of anything. My first Mother's Day with her she told me that I would eventually get over it and enjoy the day. (I hate when I am told to get over it.) I am glad I don't have to pretend to enjoy the day around her anymore now that she live in a different state. The thing is that even when I was with my first mother-in-law, the pain of the reminder of my loss made it difficult to enjoy the day.

Over the past few years, I have come to enjoy being celebrated by my husband and kids. Chad has bought me flowers almost every year since we were married. It is all I ever wanted as a gift. I am so thankful for a husband who listens. Since Eric moved out, he has made a point of coming over for dinner which is all I expect of  him. Seeing him an playing games with him is the greatest present he can give me. (I know he comes over at least once a month. Can't I consider it a gift each time?) This year Noel even bought me something with her own money. I know she doesn't have much, so that makes me feel incredibly special that she would spend some of what she has worked hard to earn on me. All of these things to not take away the sadness of what I don't have, but they have helped me finally learn to love this day. 

Some Things Never Change

 

When she was little, she loved playing in the dirt and would help me in the garden on a regular basis. Today, I told her I got the things we need to grow flowers, and she started playing in the dirt and planning what would be planted in the front of the house. The good news is that I may mot have to take care of the garden this year. I may not even have to plant it. 

My Girl

 I knew I would have an amazing daughter one day. She and I would have a better relationship than I had with my mom. She would be smart, beautiful, and funny. She would be loved more than I ever was or would be. 

Noel is everything I imagined and more. I am so blessed to have her. I hope she knows how much I love her.  I hope she knows I will always fight for her. How could I not? She is one of the most important people in my life and always will be. 

Harry Potter with Sean

At the beginning of the Mammoth Lacrosse season, Sean and I decided we would watch one Harry Potter movie each night Chad was gone with his brother. Sean read all of the books multiple times in elementary school, and I rad them before the movies came out for the most part. We have each seen the movies at least once, but I felt this would be something nice that the two of us could do together. There is only one game left, but there are three movies. We have decided that we will find time on Saturdays to finish the  last two movies together while Chad is at work and Noe is with her dad. 

I have been enjoying watching these movies with Sean. I forget how fun they were. I think I’m going to read the books again when I am done with the books I’m reading right now.