Feeling a Certain Way

I have this Facebook friend who continually brings up the death of anyone he has ever been friends with. I often find this insincere and a bit creepy. Most recently, it was a coworker that he continually said something about it being weird he was not going to get a call or text from anymore. About a week later, he said something about a falling out they had a while back. To me, it made all of his previous posts about this person seem ingenuine. I am hoping this post doesn't feel that way.

This week, the husband of a former friend announced that his wife, who had been battling cancer for a little over a year was entering into hospice. This made me sad. I know she is a good person with a good heart. I don't know if I am sad that she specifically is dying or if I am sad that a good person is only a year younger than me is dying of cancer, leaving her husband and kids behind. All I know is that I am sad, and I find myself wanting to do something for her sister that lived in my town. 

Honestly, I haven't seen this couple since at least 2009. It wasn't that we had a falling out. We each moved, and the mutual friend that we hung out with moved to a different state. I am sad that her loved ones have to face a future without her knowing that there was little chance that the person who taught me to crochet would have been in my life again either way. I hope that doesn't make me a hypocrite.

Being Useful

Lately, I have been reading You Learn by Living by Eleanor Roosevelt. I've learned a lot! I love this book. For people who question how much you could learn from a book like this that was published in 1960, I challenge you to read it and find for yourself how much it is still relevant today. 

Yesterday, I read a chapter about being useful. In this chapter, she points out that we cannot have true happiness by sitting around waiting for other people to do everything for us. When we get out into the community and do things for other people, it can bring us happiness. This chapter starts with her saying, "Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product. Paradoxically, the one sure way to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively. After a short time, a very short time, there would be little that one really enjoyed. For what keeps our interest in life and makes us look forward to tomorrow is giving pleasure to other people...Usefulness, whatever form it may take, is the price we should pay for the air we breathe and the food we eat at the privilege of being alive. And it is its own reward, as well, for itis the beginning of happiness, just as self-pity and withdrawal from the battle are the beginning of misery." She gives examples over being useful (giving service) throughout this chapter. She speaks of helping less privileged boys who needed someone to love and believe in them. She also talks about teaching our children to participate in family responsibilities and in the community. This coincides with the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in which we are taught to serve our neighbor. 

In Mosiah chapter 2 in the Book of Mormon, King Benjamin teaches the Nephites the importance of service. He explains to them that not only is he asking them to serve each other, he does it himself. In verse 12, he says, "I say unto you that as I have suffered to spend my days in your service, even up to this time, and have not sought gold nor silver nor any manner of riches of you." Then, he goes on in verses 16 and 17 to say, "Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God. And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." He is teaching us that no one is above serving; not even the king. This a commandment of the Lord; not a commandment of men. 

I love learning from people who have really lived life. Eleanor Roosevelt was a wise woman who we can still learn from if we take the time to do so. The Book of Mormon, as well as other books of scripture, are filled with examples of people we can look up to and follow their examples. The more I read good book filled with wisdom, the better person I want to be. For now, I am going to look for ways to be useful by serving those around me. 

Mom and Sean Day 2025

 I made a tradition of having a day with just the birthday kid around the time I married Chad because I knew that at least one of them was having a hard time with all of the changes over the previous year. it actually started with me taking Eric with me to court for an expired license plate ticket. I called him out of school and told him he could spend the day with me. It was a simple thing that meant a lot to him. When Sean's birthday came around 8 months later, he wanted a day with me, too. I have made a point to spend a time with them for their birthdays ever since. Now, we get to do something more, and they each get to pick what we do. I am glad that they still enjoy this. 

This year, I was unable to talk off work for Sean's birthday because work was crazy in September, so we made the plan to do something the first weekend I was free. I told him to choose what we would do, as usual. At first, he said he would look to see what movies were showing. There was nothing (not too surprising). Then, he came to me asking if we could go to the escape room nearby. I booked us an appointment for this past Saturday for the room with a dragon theme. 

We had so much fun! Some of the puzzles were harder than others, but we worked together as a team and finished with 9 seconds remaining. 

Then, we went to McDonalds, as we always do for our day together. Overall, it was an enjoyable morning/afternoon. I hope he knows how much he is loved. 

Sean's Birthday

 

Sean is officially 22! We celebrated on his birthday by going to Village Inn just as we have done every year since he turned 9. He used to get funny face pancakes. Now, he gets a chocolate pancake breakfast (a bigger version of the same thing, basically). Then, we went back to the house for chocolate cake, a game of UNO, and have him open presents. I hope he had a good birthday. I'm just going to try to come to terms with the fact that he is already 22. 

Grand Junction Weekend

On September 20, Chad and I took a trip to Grand Junction for the weekend with the plan to do two main things: go to the temple open house and see some waterfalls. 

On the way up, we stopped at Rifle Falls and hiked around to see the water falls and caves. It was beautiful! We loved it so much that we decided we will go camping up there next year. 

Next, we headed to the Grand Junction Temple open house. This temple did not disappoint. It was filled with decor based on a desert flower known in that area (I don't know what it was called). It was slightly bigger than the Fort Collins temple (our home temple) but smaller than the Denver Temple (the temple we grew up going to). Going to this open house made the trip completely worth the drive across the state!

Then, we went to our Air B&B, walked around the area to take in the scenery and get food. The following morning, we went to church before heading home. The ward we attended was small but had the nicest people I have met in a long time. We waited until about 5 minutes before sacrament meeting started and sat in the back hoping that we didn't draw attention to ourselves. At least 10 people walked up to us and introduced themselves and welcomed us. I have never had this experience, but it was nice. I hope that more people have this kind of experience when they attend any church. 

Searching for Peace

There is no way to ignore what is going on in this country.  People are hurting and angry and want someone to blame. In doing so, they blame people who are non the opposite end of the political spectrum. They do this with so much hate that they don't seem to care who they trample in their path to prove their point. In reality, all this does is create more anger and more hate on both sides. Sometimes, I wish they would sit down together and actually listen without cameras or the goal of proving their own point. I think they would see what the rest of us see if they did this. They are two sides of the same coin. 

This morning I woke up and opened Facebook before starting my day. (This always seems to cause more harm than good.) The first thing I see is someone's "fill Facebook with..." post which of course spewed hate in one direction. As I scrolled down, I see something just as bad spewed in the opposite direction. Both memes hurt my heart. I know there is nothing I could do or say they would change their minds. 

Then, I went to do my Miracle Morning as I should have done before opening anything on my phone. For the meditation part of it I prayed as I always do. This time I prayed for the comfort I needed from the hurt I have been feeling that has been growing over the past however many months or years. Then, I sat I silence and opened my scriptures to 2 Nephi 32. This short chapter gave me direction starting in verse 3. "...feast upon the words of Christ; behold the words of Christ will tell you all things what you should do." This tells me I need to change my focus away from the world and towards Jesus Christ, my rock and redeemer. Then in verse 9, we are told, "But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint..." This tells me that I need to pray more often. I am so thankful that this chapter happened to be the next chapter I was going to read!

As I took my short, morning walk, I thought about this chapter and considered what I need to change to draw closer to the Lord so I can feel His peace. I will be off of Facebook for at least a week, maybe longer. I will not be on TikTok longer than needed to continue my streak with my daughter. (I know it is silly to make that streak important, but it's just something to share with her.) I will watch conference talks in the morning. When Chad get home from work tonight, I will ask for a blessing to calm my mind. I hope that by doing these things, I will be able to heal my mind, body, and spirit. It at least won't make it worse. 

Deep(ish) Thoughts

Last Friday, Noel and I went to see Hamilton in the theater. We both loved it, but it made me think. Do I stand up for my beliefs or do I stay quiet while grinning and bearing the world around me? I was worried about this for a few days and eventually asked my husband if I was the kind of person who didn't stand for anything. He said that I stand for things when they matter to me. 

I have strong opinions about things. Most of the time I don't share them online because when I did in the past, the comments from both sides towards me were brutal. I share some religious quotes here and there, but mostly I just share pictures of my family and other things I do to keep the memories. Do the religious quotes count as standing for something? I believe it does. 

I believe that love is the answer to many of the problems in the world. I don't like the political world in this country because it is filled with hate. One side hates the other because they think and believe differently. Then one of the leaders from the opposite party is killed. (At least that is what this year has been like so far.) I have been saying that the two-party system is corrupt for many years. I even voted for a third-party choice that I hoped could at least rock the boat in 2016. I believe that if the higher-ups in each party were to show a little kindness and love towards people with different beliefs and strongholds, there could be less blood and carnage in the world. 

Melissa Hortman was a democratic leader in Minnesota and killed for that reason. I don't know much about her politics. I only know what party she belonged to. From my understanding that was the only reason she was killed in her home. I also know that she was a mother. When someone decided to execute her, they took a mother and father (her husband was also killed), they took parents from these children. I don't know how old they were, but it doesn't matter. There was not a good reason for this. 

Charlie Kirk was a conservative activist that was shot this week because someone hated what he stood for. I only know a little of his public opinion and don't necessarily agree with everything I have heard. However, he was also a parent. Unlike Melissa Hortman, he was not hunted down in his home. He was shot at a public event on a college campus by someone who was too much of a coward to even look him in the eye. Just like Melissa Hortman, Charlie Kirk leaves behind children who now have to live without a parent. 

There have also been school shootings. A few weeks ago, children were killed while at a church service in their Catholic school. Some were killed. Many were injured. Why? Hate. The same day Charlie Kirk was killed, there was a shooting at a school. This one was in my home state, Colorado. Two kids other than the shooter was injured, and the shooter killed himself. What was his reason? Hate. 

We have a president that promised revenge against those who voted against him, and he is doing it. He holds federal funds, fires federal employees, sends the National Guard into cities, and often bashes the opposing party when speaking about anything. He seethes hate almost every time he speaks or posts online. 

Recently, a governor from the other party has taken to acting like the president with the cheers of his party as he does so. This is not the answer. Weren't we all raised being told, "Two wrongs don't make a right?" If he had a different message, I may lean more towards this party. Instead, it just proved my theory that these parties are two sides of the same coin. 

In contrast to the hate being spewed all around us, President Nelson had an op-ed published in Time magazine ahead of his 101st birthday calling for peace and dignity to be offered to everyone. In it he said, "Love your neighbor and treat them with compassion and respect...anger never persuades, hostility never heals, and contention never leads to lasting solutions...Imagine how different our world could be if more of us were peacemakers - building bridges of understanding rather than walls of prejudice - especially with those who may see the world differently than we do...There is power in affording others the human dignity that all of God's children deserve."

Last winter, I read a book by Steve Young called The Law of Love. This book made me feel more than any other book I have read. It made me look at people differently in a good way. I can feel the difference in how I view other people's actions. I have also noticed that I feel more deeply about how other people treat each other and want to find a way to spread love and joy even more than I did in the past. I honestly think that if more people were to read this book filled with quotes and examples of love and take the lessons to heart, the world would be a better place. 

I believe that everyone has some good in them even if I disagree with their public persona. I may not always be able to see it, but it is there somewhere. When we try to get along with them and show them love, we are often shown that softer side. I do have my boundaries and will not allow certain people in my life for the most part, but I am open to that changing if their behavior towards me/my family changes. (I have learned I need to protect my peace, too.)

I don't share these opinions very often out of fear, but I think it is time to do so. I am afraid of backlash, but I don't even know who will read this. I am not going to share it on social media because I know that I will make people I care about mad and will receive backlash. If someone cares enough to ask my opinion, I will share it. Thankfully, those who have actually taken the time to get to know me know this is who I am. I believe in love and acceptance no matter what you believe, who you love, your race, or anything else that makes you who you are.

September 2025 Bullet Journal

I am going to try to do a monthly bullet journal spread. A lot of people who do bullet journals do this, but I haven't tried it yet. I think it could be fun to have a theme for the month and just keep that theme going if I decide to add to it. For now, I have my main September page that I modified from an idea I found on Pinterest. I had fun making a fall theme because I am excited to be going to see the fall colors later this month. I took a picture of the main page before I filled in the boxes because I don't want to broadcast my weight or family birthdays. 

I really want to get back into doing regular exercise. For the last few weeks, I had a goal of 30 or 45 minutes a day, but I wasn't keeping up with it very well. I am hoping having a dedicated tracker will help keep me focused.

With the goal of reading 15 books this year and still needing to finish 6 books to make this happen, I made a page to track the book I just started. I am quite proud of how this one turned out. I didn't copy it from any specific idea that I had seen online, but I may have seen something like it in the past. Either way, I like how it turned out.

The last one I did was inspired by the potty-training charts I used to make for the boys many years ago. I just labeled the page and will put stickers on it anytime I eat a fruit or vegetable. 

I will likely add to this as the month goes on depending on my goals. I'm sure there will be at least one more book to track before the month is over. There could also be one to track my progress in finding a job that I can do with my degree because I don't know how much longer I can stand working in billing.