I'm torn. I have pretty much been hired on a Dish Network. (I just have to pass the background check and drug screen.) I know I need to work. That part is obvious. The thing is, now that it is becoming more of a reality, I am freeking out.
I was told that I can't miss any days in the first 5 weeks. Sean's first day of school ever (we did preschool at home) will be within that time. John assured me that he can get the day off of work. I am greatful for that, but it is just not the same. I want to be there when he goes into the school for the first time, and I want to be there to pick him up and get his reaction first had as he comes out of school. I am his mommy. It is breaking my heart.
Noel came to me Monday talking about the boys not going to school yet. I told her that they would be in about a month. Her little face lit up, and she said, "Then it will be just me and you til Sean-Sean has a school trip. Then I can go to Melissa's house." That broke my heart too. I had to tell her that it probably wouldn't be that way. She was probably going to have to go to day care. He little face dropped. I told her that we would try to find one that was like going to school (a day care center). She seemed a bit happier, but not as happy as when she thought that her days would be filled with being alone with just Mommy. It broke my heart.
I love my kids. I would do anything for them. I need to get a job so that they can be provided for now and in the future. With the uncertainty in this world, we never know how stable any job is. I hope that in the future that my kids will understand that me getting a job now was for them. In the meantime, I hope the transition is smooth and doesn't upset them too much.
9 comments:
I'll do daycare for you. We could work something out.
That would be great! I'll let you know when I officially get hired.
I think anything I have to say will just make things harder for you... ;) (me and my opinions...lol) But if you need an ear, call me. :)
I used to work for the State and know all the good and bad day cares...call me and I will hook you up!
Awesome! Thanks!
That has got to be so hard to think about leaving Noelle and all the things you'll miss. So sad.
From the viewpoint of a working mom - it is hard sometimes. There's no denying that. But I also find benefits for me and my family. I'm sure that whatever you do, you will make things work out for the best for your family!
I was waiting for your comments, Tara. I knew you would understand my dilema. :-)
It is SO HARD to leave your little ones at home, I know I have been there too. I worked from the time Sarah was 6months old until she was four. I was able to be home through most of Brad's being little but then worked for a year when he was 2. I missed 6 months of Owen being teeny when I was working full time at Skywest.
I can say that while it is not the "ideal" situation and certainly heartbreaking for us as moms on some days, my relationship with my kids has NOT been affected. There is some awesome research on quality time vs. quantity time that I'll send you.
The bottom line is that part of being a parent is understanding when it's time to make the tough decisions and do what needs to be done. :-) You know we're here for ya!
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