I am feeling like I am sending my kids to whoever will take them this weekend. According to the parenting agreement I have with their dad, I have them this weekend. I have to work on the weekends though. Yesterday, my regular babysitter watched them until I got home around 7pm. I, then, had only about an hour to an hour and a half before they went to bed (yes, I am one of those mean parents that make my kids go to bed when it is still light out in the summer). This morning, they got to watch one cartoon before they had to get dressed, packed, and off to my sister's. I had to drop them off early enough for me to be to work by 9am. They are spending the night at her place tonight because it is easier for her than me dropping the kids off at 6am tomorrow so that I could be at work by 7am. Tomorrow, I work a split. I will be with my kids for church and a little while after. Then, they will be going to another babysitter's until I get off (I am scheduled until 9:30pm, but my be sent home earlier if the call volume is low). Monday, my regular babysitter will be back, and there is a chance I won't get home until bedtime. I hate this. As school gets closer and closer, I am realizing how little I will see my kids once they go back and I start classes.
I know that I need to work, and I need to go to school to support my kids now and in the future. I want to be a good example for my kids. I want them to understand that having an education and willingness to work is important. I want them to know that I love them and will do whatever I need to do to give them a future. Knowing all of this stuff in my head doesn't make me feel less guilty when they ask me when I can do something with them or why they have to have a babysitter.
4 comments:
I can understand the guilty feelings. I often feel bad about not spending enough time with my kids, yet I have to work - both financially & for my own sanity. I have no great words of wisdom or solutions, but I do know how you feel...
Thank you, Tara! You are a true blessing in my life!
Don't feel guilty. You are doing what you have to do right now to provide for them. It may be hard for them to understand now, but they'll appreciate it later when they look back and see how hard their mom worked to make sure they had what they needed.
Not to mention, they had fun and it was good to be able to have them play with Tommy. He loved having kids to play with since he is no longer able to play with the neighbors. Oh, and... it makes me feel like I am actually able to help.
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