The Morning After

I knew today was going to be hard because concerts get out past our bedtime. I didn’t know I was going to wake up with food poisoning. I ended up having to clock out of work after about two hours because I was throwing up so much. (I don’t drink, so it wasn’t a hangover.)

After the amazing show last night, Chic-fil-a had tents set up to sell sandwiches once we had climbed the stairs out. I had been slightly hungry and very thirsty, and Chic-fil-a is so good. Chad bought us each sandwiches and sodas that we had when we got back to the car. The sandwiches were premade and prepackaged and kept in warming containers. It wasn’t unlike some of the food we have had at running events. This was the only unusual food we had. Chad had no adverse reaction. I, on the other had, was sick all morning. I couldn’t keep anything down until about 3:00 other than the ginger ale Chad got me. 

The good news is that I have an understanding boss and plenty of sick time since I haven’t used it in over 3 years. (I either take vacation time or make appointments after work when needed.) I’m thankful my husband took the day off knowing he would be too tired for work. I’m thankful he was willing to get things done and run errors for me while I was sick. I’m thankful that I have the privilege of working from home so that I wasn’t trying to drive this morning. It was not a fun morning, but it did help me see some of the blessings I have that I take for granted. 

Mother's Day

 

I have a love/hate relationship with Mother's Day. I have never experienced a Mother's Day as an adult with my mom. She died with I was barely 18. I am jealous of women who get to celebrate being a mom with their mom. It's not something I thought about prior to her death because the idea of me becoming a mom was sometime in the future. 

I spent many years celebrating with a mother-in-law. My first husband's mom (the better mother-in-law) was never offended by my foul mood on a day that reminded me my mom was gone. She was always very understanding. My current mother-in-law is not understanding of anything. My first Mother's Day with her she told me that I would eventually get over it and enjoy the day. (I hate when I am told to get over it.) I am glad I don't have to pretend to enjoy the day around her anymore now that she live in a different state. The thing is that even when I was with my first mother-in-law, the pain of the reminder of my loss made it difficult to enjoy the day.

Over the past few years, I have come to enjoy being celebrated by my husband and kids. Chad has bought me flowers almost every year since we were married. It is all I ever wanted as a gift. I am so thankful for a husband who listens. Since Eric moved out, he has made a point of coming over for dinner which is all I expect of  him. Seeing him an playing games with him is the greatest present he can give me. (I know he comes over at least once a month. Can't I consider it a gift each time?) This year Noel even bought me something with her own money. I know she doesn't have much, so that makes me feel incredibly special that she would spend some of what she has worked hard to earn on me. All of these things to not take away the sadness of what I don't have, but they have helped me finally learn to love this day. 

My Girl

 I knew I would have an amazing daughter one day. She and I would have a better relationship than I had with my mom. She would be smart, beautiful, and funny. She would be loved more than I ever was or would be. 

Noel is everything I imagined and more. I am so blessed to have her. I hope she knows how much I love her.  I hope she knows I will always fight for her. How could I not? She is one of the most important people in my life and always will be.