Need. To. Lose. Weight.

Ok. So I need to work harder at this losing weight thing. I think I may have gained back all of the weight that I lost since the wedding plus some. That is not good news for a girl that barely fit into her wedding dress in February and has to fit into it again in less than a month. Every time I make a goal that would help, I get lazy or do things like earn a gift card to McDonald's at work. I didn't do well at five minutes of exercise a day this week. I kept telling myself that I could do it later because, after all, it was only five minutes. Before I knew it, I was too exhausted to do even the five minutes. I swore I wouldn't drink anymore soda. Then they started giving out 5.00 gift cards at work for good customer satisfaction surveys (they are a lot easier to get when not working retention). Of course the doughnut fascination (see below) that I have had doesn't help. Ugh! I am so weak. I have been thinking about my habits lately. I think I need to use exercise as my "therapy" like I did both times I was separated from Mr. Wrong. I was losing weight and feeling good about it. I don't know why I stopped. My hubby is willing to work out with me or at least keep me company when I would out. He encourages me as much as possible. When it comes to eating, I have never had good eating habits for more than a month or two. Well right now, I only need to do it for a month. Hmm. I need ideas, good ones that I can do to lose at least 10 pounds by June 23.

Time to Make the Doughnuts

When Chad and I got married, we registered at Target for a lot of fun stuff and stuff to decorate our home that I have always wanted. (We weren't really in need of a lot because we were combining two established homes. In fact we had so much of the basics that we had a yard sale last month that went pretty well.) A big part of what we registered for was kitchen gadgets (I LOVE kitchen gadgets!) My favorite one by far that we have received is the doughnut maker. It looks like a Homer Simpson doughnut (who wouldn't want that in their home?) When we first started using it, I was using the recipes that it came with. One day my husband came up with a great idea, using muffin mixes instead. It works great. I can have fun making doughnuts, the kids get to have doughnuts more often, and everyone is happy. I don't remember who gave this wonderful toy to me...I mean us, but I love it!

4 Day Weekend

I am so excited that I have a 4 day weekend this weekend. I was scheduled off today, tomorrow I am taking a paid day off, and I was scheduled the next 2 days off. I am so glad, and I so need it. I, also, get to spend all 4 days with my kids (added bonus). We aren't doing anything hugely exciting just spending time together. The only thing that would make it better would be if Chad had all 4 days off as well.

A Bit of Motivation

In case you haven't noticed, I have been having a hard time accomplishing my goals. I think that I just need to have more motivation. When explaining this to my sweet husband and telling him that the last time I was really motivated to get moving was a few years ago when I was in a goal competition with some friends. He thought that competition sounded like fun, so we are going to have a friendly competition between the two of us. Whoever can drink at least 4 cups of water, do at least 30 minutes of homework, exercises for at least 5 minutes, and do our one daily chore each day. We both know that we have no reason for not getting at least these things done each day, but they just are not happening. Whoever completes the tasks the most wins. The loser has to clean the bathroom. I am determined to not lose. I HATE cleaning the bathroom!

UGH! This Teacher!

There has been something about Eric's teacher that has bothered me for quite some time. The problem is she doesn't seem to know how to tell the truth, and she is really good at cutting me down and making me feel like I don't do enough for my child. (Didn't I get divorced from someone who treated me that way?)
At parent/teacher conferences she acts like there are no problems at all, and then a few weeks later asks to meet with me to discuss the fact that Eric has many missing assignments that were supposed to be done in class. I have had a few before or after school meetings with her (mostly after school because she flags me down as I am picking up my kids on my days off). The solution has always been that I need to bring him in early (which is hard to do because that means getting all of my kids ready a half hour early) or for him to stay late (which she has actually only done once or twice).
Last October, he was sent home with a stack of papers so large that needed to be finished that I could see how he may be overwhelmed. Heck, I was more than overwhelmed just looking at it and trying to figure out how I was going to get him through all of it. I did his homework packet with him and a few more worksheets each night.
Back in November she had the nerve to tell me that she understood I was going to school for myself but I needed to think of my kids right now. At the time, I was in training and having to work a very late shift for that training class, depend on my ex-husband and boyfriend (now my husband) and a few wonderful friends for childcare, live on very little sleep to make sure that my kids still got to school on time everyday, and try to fit in time to do school work (I got F's in both classes that term). Eric has rarely had problems getting his actual home work done, but his classwork has been a different story.  When his dad started helping with nighttime childcare, I made sure that Eric had what I felt to be a reasonable amount of worksheets to do in his backpack everyday.
At the end of the first semester, Eric made the honor roll. Instead of praising him for the effort he did put in, his teacher pulled him aside and told him that if he had actually tried, he would have made the Superintendent's list (that in and of itself caused problems this semester). By this time, I was working my regular shift. (I don't like the shift because it is a closing shift, but that is not the point to this rant.) I now had a bit more time with my kids. I get up with them in the morning, get them ready, and take them to school. I get home at about 8:30 which gives me about a half hour to do homework with them, get them ready for bed, and read to them before they go to sleep (see why I don't like the shift). I have about an hour and a half to two hours with my kids most days (it kills my heart, and hopefully will change soon).
The teacher started sending home five to ten pages of worksheets on top of the two that have to be done for homework each night. My babysitter won't do homework with the kids. My husband does his best. That really leaves me to get all of that done with him and make sure the before school or bed routines are done and make sure the other kids don't feel neglected in the process. Eric is a smart kid. When he knows his stuff and feels motivated, he can get it done quickly, but not that quickly. If the motivation isn't there, forget about getting anything done.
About two weeks ago, Eric's teacher flagged me down after school, like she has done several times before. She said that Eric has not been turning in anything that she has been sending home. I explained that we have been getting an additional two or three papers done each night to go with his homework pack. She pointed out that he had one past due homework pack (it had one or two pages not completed and it was already determined that he was behind on it because I was told that he didn't have one for a few weeks which was not really true). Then she jumped all over me about the one that was due that Friday (it was a Tuesday and he had the Monday night work done already) saying that not enough had been done in it yet. She pulled two papers out of his backpack that had not been completed that day in class and said something to the effect of me not making sure it would be done for another month (yes, I said IN CLASS). I looked and her and said that I was confused as to how she expected me to get him to do the work in my two hours a day I had with him if she, a professional, couldn't get him to do it in the seven hours she had him. She then turned the to a place that it should have not gone. She asked me if I would consider retention. I immediately told her know. He is too smart, doesn't need it, and would be bored out of his mind if he had to stay in the forth grade. She said that she didn't feel that he was mature enough to continue on and that he would struggle even more next year with getting his assignments turned in on time. I completely agree that he is a bit immature for his age, but I don't think at this stage in the game it is a reason to retain my child. She also said he just wasn't organized enough an asked is there were problems at home. Well, of course there are some problems at home for him. He is a ten year old little boy whose parents were divorced last year, and this year his mom got married to someone else. It is difficult for any kid. Heck, it was hard for me and I was older than he is. She suggested maybe he needed to be medicated. Um...NO! She told me that two or three worksheets per night were not enough and that she was going to send home at least seven per night that she expected to be done the next day and asked if it was ok for Eric to stay after school on Mondays for about a half hour. The babysitter said that she didn't mind so I said that was fine.
About a week later a friend was watching the kids for me and her son helped Eric complete about TEN pages of homework which was only half of it. That was the day that Eric's dad started his concern about Eric getting his work done. I talked to him an told him what was going on. We agreed that I would call and make an appointment with the principal. My next week day off was today, so we scheduled it for this morning at 9:35.
The meeting was mostly about how to get Eric to show that he knows his stuff without making him do all of the worksheets since his test scores are showing that he knows what he is doing. The thing is that we are so close to the end of the school year that there are only a few days even left of classwork before the grades get turned in. The teacher kind of agreed to back off on the worksheets. The principal and I also decided that we will have a meeting a the beginning of next school year with whatever teach he has to make sure she understands that Eric needs other ways to show he knows what he is doing without all of the busy work that he refuses to do anyway. When the principal asked if I felt that my concerns were address I explained that I didn't feel the threats of retention were addressed. He explained that if retention was a consideration, we would have started talking about it in December, not now. I explained how she had talked to me. She denied it. She said that she was sorry if that was the impression that I or Eric got from recent conversations. I again went over the basics of the conversation, and said that I am concerned if she is talking to me that way how is she talking to my kid. I don't want him in forth grade to think that he is a failure and not accomplishing anything. I don't feel that is the a good foundation for the future. I want him to be more successful in life than I have been. I don't want him to drop out of school or wait until his is in his 30's to go to college. I have tried very hard to make sure that he knows he is extremely smart for his age for as long as I can remember. All she could do was say she was sorry about the impression that she gave me and lie about the rest. Over all I think I got somewhere with the principal but no where with the lying teacher.
 I will continue doing what I am doing as a mom. I do my best. I work so they can have food and clothes and be able to go to the doctor when they are sick. I read a chapter of a book to them every night that I have them. I snuggle them when they are feeling lonely or sad. I wash their scraps and give them ice for their bumps. I make their lunches almost every morning. I put together a dinner for my husband to make them when I can. I am a mom. I live for my kids, and refuse to let ANYONE make me feel otherwise!

A Game Plan

I am sick of being broke (I believe my husband is too). We are going to set a game plan. Our first step has already started. We borrowed Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University from some good friends. And we have started listing to the lessons and taking notes. I think after the struggles that we have both gone through before we got married and in the last few months since we got married have made as angry enough to take action. I am determined to never go into debt again. Getting collection calls all day every day sucks. Worrying about losing the house sucks. Trying to explain to the kids that we can't go out to eat any more sucks. I have listened to his pod-casts in the past but didn't have the drive or determination to set a budget and stick to it. I am declaring right here, right now, I will make it though to the other end of this struggle with my husband and be happier in the end. We will win!

Goal Update

I had four goals for this last week. I did a good job this week. FINALLY!

My first goal was to walk the dogs at least 3 times. Chad and I went on two walks with the dogs and walked Jasper when picking Noel up from school the day after my last blog. I know that I can't attribute any weight loss to a few walks, but I am getting out and moving. Hopefully, I will be able to find the time to exercise soon, but for now walking the dogs is better than nothing.

My second goal was to my assignments Monday. I started reading one chapter for one class on Monday. I struggled to find time to read all week, and I was still up late finishing my assignments. I am going to have to revisit this area so that I am not struggling on Saturday night to get my assignments done and turned in by midnight.

My third goal was to read the scriptures to my kids every night. I am happy to say that I only missed one night that I had them (they go to their dad's  most Friday and Saturday nights). I am really hoping that the kids are getting something out of it other than it is cool when Nephi cuts of Laban's head. Either way, I am doing what I feel I need to do to teach my children the gospel.

My forth and final goal was to get at least one more show booked. I honestly didn't get this one done. I am having a hard time getting the courage up to call people and ask them if they want to host a show.

My goal for this week:

1. Walk the dogs 4 times
2. Read a chapter a day until they are all read
3. I will continue to read scriptures each night
4. I will make at least one contact a day for Pampered Chef

I know that I can accomplish these goals!

Yard Sale

Ok. I don't do this a lot, but I feel the need to advertise the yard sale my sister and I are having this weekend. It will be at her house (if you need the address let me know). We will both be selling tons of movies, some furniture, bikes, kid stuff, and much, much more! If you are interested, come on over. We will also have a lemonade stand ran by my adorable nephew if that helps persuade you...

Stressful Day

My day was so frustrating today.

It started with my 8 year-old being angry with me for making him a sandwich for lunch instead of packing cereal for him. It got to the point that he was yelling and screaming and crying because I made him pack the cereal for himself if he wasn't going to pack the lunch that I had made for him specifically. Once he calmed down from that fit, I got all the kids loaded up in the car. Then, the same child realized that he forgot his homework folder and book that he needed to bring to school. He demanded that I go get them off of the kitchen table. I calmly explained to him that he needed to go get them fast. He said I was a bad mom. The kids, then, ended up being late to school because of Sean's humongous fit.  My decision after dropping them off at school was that he will not be playing video games until his attitude gets better.

Work wasn't horrible for the most part. About a third of the way through, I got mad. I have been working hard. My stats are good for the most part. I have earned rewards. Someone who I feel didn't deserve a privilege that I have been trying to get, got that very privilege again. I was furious! My team leader agreed with me. I am going to go in a bit early tomorrow and talk to him again and make it known that I would like to be noticed for my sales at very least.

I vented to my wonderful husband on my way home from work and let it all out. I think I freaked him out a bit when I started crying. I am glad he just let me vent though. I kind of wish I was home when I was crying. I love being in his arms, and I know I would have felt better faster if i were in his arms instead of driving alone.

The good  news is that if these are my worst problems of the day, my life is better than it was 6 months to a year ago.

Don't Know What to Do

I find myself in need of money in a short amount of time (I won't go into details online). I have so far planned a yard sale with my sister and scheduled two Pampered Chef shows. (I will be making calls through this week to try to schedule more.) My wonderful husband who I clearly don't deserve is donating many things such as movies and video games to the yard sale as well as selling some of his gadgets online. I don't want to nor can I go farther into debt to bail us out this time. All I can think of to do is work my butt off and sell, sell, sell. I just hope it is enough.

Goals

It is no secret that I struggle when it comes to reaching goals. There are so many things that I want to do in life. The problem is that I don't have the time to do it all now. I do have time to do a few things though. I know I have to concentrate on the things that are most important right now. I have decided the important things to me right now are finishing school, teaching my children the gospel, building my Pampered Chef business, and losing weight.

I have been working on losing weight. I have been walking the dogs more often with my husband. I have been eating less. My happy news about my weight is that last Friday when I weighed myself, I finally got down to 170! I have been working towards this goal for about a year. Somehow I was able to get down to 171, but then I would start gaining back. Now I am down to 170.  Woo! Hoo! Now on to 165!

I successfully completed my last term without giving up. That is a big step for me. When I got to the point that the classes were getting harder and more overwhelming and I wasn't sure if I could do it any more, my wonderful husband encouraged me and let me bounce ideas off of him for the papers I was writing. I am on Spring Break this week, so I get to rest my mind for a bit before I start my new classes on Monday. I would like to get B's or better this time around. I tried for it last term, but fell short of my goal. I am going to work harder this time to succeed on my goal.

My kids are being given messages about how bad religion in general is, especially my religion. I can tell by the way the act when at church or when church matters are brought up. I have the kids most of the time. I need to have a greater influence on them. I need to do my job as a mother to tech my children about Jesus and what He did for us. I hurt my heart on Sunday while the speakers were talking about the resurrection, my oldest child told me he didn't believe any of it was true and there was no point to what they were saying. The gospel has always been a part of my life. I need my kids to learn the things that I hold so dear to my heart.

When it comes to my Pampered Chef business, I had gotten discouraged last month and let it get me down. I need to get it built up so that I can stay home with my kids and give them the attention that they deserve. I am tired of working to pay for daycare and gas and insurance. I really don't feel like I am making any money once those things are paid for. In fact, my husband I I think that it may cost more for me to work than it would for me to quit, but I need to build up my business before I can quit my job because I have to make the money to pay for gas and insurance at very least.

I am going to do my best at updating my goals still. I believe that the things that I am concentrating on are what are most important to me and my family.

My goals for this week:

1. Walk the dogs 3 times
2. Start my assignments Monday
3. Read scriptures to the kids before their nightly story
4. Book at least one more show

Morning Adventure

This morning, while taking my kids to Grandma's and Grandpa's house so that I could go to work, my wheel started wobbling. I stopped the van, got out, and checked the tire that seemed to be the problem to see if it was flat (I thought that was a reasonable conclusion). The tire was not flat, so I decided to continue my journey. As I got closer to my destination, it shook more and more. I slowed down and hoped that I would make it to the Crumpleys' house so I could explain what was going on and, hopefully, be on my way to work. About a mile away from my safety point, I heard a very loud pop and my front driver's side wheel flew past my window as the car skidded slowly to a stop. All of the kids were in the car (which is what made it more scary). Noel's response from the back was, "What was that?" Eric started shaking and talking about how scary it was.  Sean had the more humorous response. He said with all of the enthusiasm imaginable, "Did you see how high that went?" I, then, proceeded to call Rob to rescue me. As he was on his way, I called my loving husband who offered to call in to work to help me. Luckily, Rob was able to make arrangements to get me to work and offered to work on my car while I was working. Chad picked up the kids after work (have I mentioned how much I love that man). Marleah (the best sister EVER) picked me up from work and let me hang out with her until Chad could pick me up. My day started out interesting, and became a lesson in how much I am loved by many people.

Goal Update

Ok. I know I am way late on this, but life is happening. I won't go into the specifics right now.

So exercise is not something that happens much. I have walked once or twice to pick up the kids when off of work. I say that totally counts. I'll do better. I just have to make the time.

When it comes to school work, I am doing good. I am not getting the work even started until Saturday, but I am getting everything in on time. So far, I have brought one grade to a B and the other one is really close.

This week I will go on a walk at least 2 days, and I will get all of my assignments in on time and do my best on them. That means I need to start them tonight!

Goal Update

Yep. It is that time again. Time for me to share how I have been doing on my goals.

I am going to start with my school goals. I didn't meet them all this week, but I did get my assignments turned in on time. I can't blame anyone but me. I didn't really get started on any of it until Friday night. I was finished around 11:30 Saturday night. I just checked my grades. I got good grades on the assignments, only missing a few points for not siting my reference on one assignment. So my grades so far are: 78.86% in Introduction to Business and 70.91%  in Principles of Management. I have 5 weeks left of this term. It will be a lot of hard work, but I can pull B's out of these classes!

When it comes to my goal of working out, I am not doing well at all. I have felt so overwhelmed with life the last week that I have not wanted to add anything to my daily routine. I need to. I know that . Not only will working out help with my appetite and weight problem, it will help with my moods. I am far less depressed and overwhelmed when I work out.

With how overwhelmed I have been feeling, I have added something else that I am quite excited about. I truly believe that it will take a lot of pressure off of me when I get into the groove of it. I am now an independent consultant with The Pampered Chef. I am so excited about it. I am going to work hard on building my business so that I can make it my only job and work my own hours.

Ok. Now for my goals for this week. I am going to have my Intro to Business chapter read by Tuesday night. I am going to have my Principles of Management chapter read by Thursday night. I am going to have my assignments started by Friday night and turned in on time Saturday night. I will work out at least 3 time this week (this time I'm serious). I will get at least one solid booking for this month. I will fill my prescriptions so that I am sane again (that one is more for my sister and husband that have to listen to me complain).

Jackpot

I think I hit the jackpot! I married a great man this time. He loves me for me. He constantly reminds me of that, too. He steps in and helps with the kids when I need him. He lets me cry when I am overwhelmed with life. He helps clean the house. He lets me know that the things I do are good enough. He understands me more than I do. He loves me more than I deserve!

I have the most beautiful little girl! She is smart and adorable. I love when I get the chance to spend time with her.

My boys are so special! They are the smartest little boys I have ever known. They are so loving. They always tell me that the would rather be with me than at anywhere else.

I love my family!

It All Costs Money

After finding out that my oldest child once again took the time to grind a bar of soap into the drain, I explained that everything in this house costs money. They looked at me like I was crazy. Noel, in her cute 6 year-old way, said, "You mean even my toys?" LOL

Feeling Like a Failure

I have been working outside the home for almost 3 years now. I have one child that really remembers when I was able to stay home with him, one child who kind of remembers, and one who only remembers that she could pretty much do anything she wanted while Mom slept because of working the graveyard shift. I don't want to work outside the home all of the time. Don't get me wrong. I like working. I just don't like the stress it puts on my kids, me, and my new husband.

I currently work until 8pm. That means that I take my kids to school in the morning and come home in time to put them to bed at night. I see my kids maybe 2 hours a day, and pay someone else to see them a lot of the other time.

Due to this work schedule, Sean has been acting more depressed, Eric was flat out refusing to go to school today, and Noel has been a lot more clingy. I started trying to set a side more time to spend with Sean on Sundays. Most Sundays I can do this, but the last few weeks have been hectic with trying to clean out Chad's apartment and the washing machine breaking. I don't even know what to do about Eric. I got him to school about an hour and a half late today. The poor kid seems like he has the wight of the world on his shoulders. I keep trying to tell him that all he needs to do is be a kid, but it doesn't seem to help. Noel is just reacting to every thing the only way she knows how. I have started reading to all of the kids at night lately. When I read to her, I sit next to her on her bed and let her pick the book. It seems to help. I just wish I could do more.

Any one who says that working moms are selfish and don't really love their kids are wrong. I work because I have to. I have bills to pay. All the love in the world doesn't keep a roof over the kids heads and food in their bellies.

Goal Update

Ok. I know I'm a day late. Yesterday was a crazy day. I'll get into that on another post.

For my weight  loss goal. I sucked at this one this week. I was having problems motivating my self to do anything. In other words, I didn't work out at all. I need to start running sometime this week so that I can be ready for the Boulder Boulder and Color Run this May. I know I am crazy for doing both of them so close together, but I have always wanted to try the Boulder Boulder, and the Color Run is for a good cause and something I think the kids can do.

As for school work, I got all of my assignments turned in on time! Woo Hoo! I didn't meet my goals of having the chapters read by Wednesday, but I was close. They were finished on Thursday. Since that was a day late, so was the goal of getting my assignments started. They were started on Friday. The good news is that I was able to get them done on time though. I had a team assignment that I ended up doing on my own. I got 100% on it! I now have brought both of my grades up to C's with 6 weeks left in this term. I know I can get them up to B's in no time.

Ok. Goal time. I am going to start running this week. I will start tomorrow morning after I drop the kids off at school (I have errands to run today before work). I am going to follow the Couch to 5k program. I know the Boulder Boulder is longer than that, but I need to start somewhere. For school, I am going to keep the same goals. I will have the chapters ready by Wednesday night and the assignments started by Thursday night. By reading on my lunch breaks and before I go to work, I shouldn't have a problem with this. Wish me luck!

Goal Update

It is Sunday, goal day.

My first goal for the week was to exercise at least 20 minutes three times. I was concerned taht this wasn't going to happen. Then I went to Chad's apartment to help him clean it up and get everything moved out. Yesterday, I spent at least 20 minutes going up and down the stairs twice. Today, I spent even more time going up and down the stairs. This apartment is on the third floor. My butt, legs, knees, and back hurt so much. It totally counts!
My other goal for the week was to get all of my assignments done and turned in on time. I got half of my assignments in. I was foolish enough to procrastinate my homework until Saturday, the day they were all due. By the time we got back to the house last night, it was about 10pm. I can usually get my work done on time within the 2 hours. I probably could have last night had I not been so exhausted.

I am going to keep my exercise goal for this week. I will get exercise for at least 20 minutes 3 times. When it comes to homework, I read the chapters needed for each class by Wednesday and start the assignments by Thursday. Wish me luck!

Complement From the Teacher

I worked hard on a paper for my Introduction to Business class last week. I even went through the heartbreak of my paper disappearing into the abyss. Luckily, I had most of the work in my head, and I was able to re-do the paper and get it turned in only a half hour late (I have online classes). When I opened the grade book I found that not only did I get a perfect 80 out of 80 points, I got a great compliment from my teacher.

"You did an excellent job on this paper in many ways.  I was truly impressed by the way you expressed yourself in this paper.  It is obvious to me that you not only understand the material but put a lot of effort in making this a successful paper.  I especially liked how you integrated into a descriptive paragraph all of the components that Eric needs in order to build a successful business plan.

Your APA style is good. Please continue to use the same format for the rest of our class.

I am sure that you can tell from your grade that your efforts really paid-off! 

Thank you again for this truly enjoyable submission.

Professor Shaps"

I love being rewarded for my efforts!