I know I am usually bragging about Eric's writing, but today it is about my own. I wrote an essay for school about my mom's and brother's death and how it affected my life. The assignment was to write a narrative essay about a significant even that change me in some way. I turned it in November 7, and just hoped that it was good enough (I have never seen myself as a good writer). This is the comment that I saw from my teacher when I went to check my grade today:
"Your paper is the only one in our class that earned a perfect score. Your essay is just wonderful, Rosa. The writing is clear, precise, and well-constructed. The paragraphs are focused. And the paper as whole is seriously deep and engaging. I'm sorry for your loss; your brother and mom would be proud of how well you write, I guarantee. Take care, and keep up the great work."
So, I guess I need to share my essay to really finish my bragging. Before you read it I want to warn you that it is a bit sad. I didn't write it to get sympathy. It is the easiest topic for me to talk about considering the assignment.
"I had always identified myself as the second child in my family. I had a mom and a dad like most kids. My brother, my sister, and I often talked about what we wanted to be when we grew up. We laughed together. We fought with each other. We protected each other. One day my happy bubble burst. My mom and brother were suddenly gone. I could no longer call my mom to ask her to call me in for this class or that class at school. I could no longer joke with my brother about my boyfriend being better than his girlfriend. That was all taken away from me the day my mom’s roommate fell asleep at the wheel.
I had said upon starting my senior year of high school that it was going to be a year I would never forget. That became true only a week later. August 30, 1996, was the day half of my family was killed in a tragic car accident. I will never forget that day or the impact it has had on my life. I have lived my life doing normal things that most women look forward to sharing with their mom alone or with my sister. I have given birth, gotten married, and celebrated 13 birthdays since then.
August 30 started off as a typical school day with one exception; my brother’s obnoxious dog was at our house until my brother and my mom were to return from their fateful trip to Arizona. I went to school complaining about how loud that dog was and how I didn’t get any sleep. I proceeded with the mundane task of going to my first three classes of the day. Then, I was called down to the office to see my dad. I could never have even imagined what happened next. I walked in and saw the heavyhearted look on my dad’s face. He took me into a small room with my sister and told us the news. “Mom and Anthony have been killed in a car accident.” My heart fell into my stomach. I was beyond feeling. Wasn’t I just talking to my mom the night before?
My mom had looked forward to many things about the future. The December before she died, she had come to a choir concert for my sister and me. Since it was a December concert, naturally it was very Christmas oriented. At the end the highest choir in the school invited all alumni and parents of the students in that choir to come on stage and join them in the Hallelujah Chorus. My mom loved that song. It may have been her favorite, but she wasn’t able to go up that year because I wasn’t a good enough singer to be in that choir. The good news was that my sister, who was a sophomore at the time, was on track to be in that choir when she was a senior. My mom was so excited that in two years she would be able to not only go up and sing that song with my sister, she would be able to sing alto with her. When my sister was a senior and they invited the alumni and parents up, I went in my mom’s place and we stood there and tried to sing, but mostly cried, as we remembered my mom’s simple dream of singing this special song with her youngest daughter.
My brother and I were friends growing up. Even as teenagers, we had some of the same friends and enjoyed being around each other. My junior year of high school he was in the group that I went to prom with. We had planned for three or couples to get a limo together and go to a nice restaurant together and then head over to prom. The limo reservations didn’t work out, so we all showed up separately in the nicest cars that our parents’ had; me in my dad’s, him in my mom’s. We had fun laughing and joking with each other. We had planned that the next year we would get a limo with another company and go together again. The next year, I still went in a group with my best friend. We both had different dates. There was still no limo. There was also no Anthony.
I grew up expecting that my mom and brother would be a part of my life for a long time including my wedding, the births of my children, my milestone birthdays, my joys and my sorrows. They died when I was the tender age of 18. They didn’t get to share these things with me. It is amazing how one day can change so much."
9 comments:
That is a beautiful and touching essay. Thanks for sharing it. I'm glad your teacher realized how good it was as well!
Thank you for sharing your story with me, Rosa. As a follower of your blog, I have always thought of you as a good writer. It must feel wonderful, though, to be recognized by someone in a teaching position. Keep writing! I'll keep reading!
Beautiful and tragic. In defining moments like that, we measure our lives with "before" and "after" a tragic moment. I'm sorry you missed out on having your mom be with you during so many important milestones.
Wow. No wonder you got such a wonderful comment on your work. That is indeed touching and well-written. And that makes yet one more thing we have in common. I lost two members of my immediate family tragically, too, and I share the feelings you still hold over the loss of your loved ones. The pain and loss changes over the years, but the hollow feeling never really goes away. To let go of those feelings somehow feels like letting go of the ones you lost. I commend you for being able to express your feelings so well.
That is beautiful Rosa. I have never felt the loss of someone close. I cannot even imagine the pain you must have felt and the emptiness I know you still feel sometimes. You must be a very strong woman.
There is nothing wrong with sharing a job well done. You earned it.
That is a great essay! I only wish I could write as well as you.
Really beautiful, Rosa. They always say "write what you know". I know it could not have been easy, but you did a fantastic job. Congrats.
Go you! That was really well-written! What a great confidence boost that must've been! :) Well done!
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