Halloween Pizza

I love getting holiday shaped pizzas from Papa Murphy’s. Getting heart shaped pizzas on Valentines Day was one of the few traditions I kept after the ex left. I don’t know why, but a heart pizza for Valentines Day and Jack-o-lantern pizza for Halloween just tastes a bit better. 

Today, I ordered a Jack-o-lantern pizza online around 2:30 to pick up at 4:45 as I took Noel home from school. When I got there, the line was going out the door and a bit down the sidewalk. I called to see if the pizza was ready, and they told me it would talk another 30 to 40 minutes. I went home and sent Chad back a half hour later thinking it would be ready to pick up. It was not. 

We hen Chad got there, he was told to stand in line but not where to stand. The first line was apparently only for people who had yet to order. When he got to the front, he was sent to the other line, so he called me to tell me what was going on. After 10 or 15 minutes in that line, he called again wanting to just cancel the order. I was fine with that as long as we got out money back and he came up with a backup plan for dinner. At this point, an employee told the people in this line that they could cancel the order the next day and wait 2-3 days for the refund. I didn’t like this idea. They already charged my card because it was an online order. He agreed with me and stayed in the line. Once he got to the front of the line, they started the order. Apparently, even though I ordered 2 hours in advance and checked in when it was scheduled to be ready, it was not ready yet. In fact, they were making the pizzas that were ordered in person first. Chad was finally home an hour after he left. 

I have never had issues with this Papa Murphy’s in the past. They were definitely overextended. The point of irritation for me is that online orders are usually a high enough priority that this shouldn’t have happened. We were able to get our pizza, but it was a pain to get. I may have to make it myself in the future. 

Ready for the Lights

 

Noel finished the puzzle today. All of the missing pieces were found in shoes, on the floor, and with all of the other pieces. 

When I said I may not mount it with the lights, Noel was sad because she wants to see it with the lights now that she put so much work into it. I told her I would work on it, but I ram into a small issue; the puzzle glue that cam with the puzzle is solid. It will have to wait until I can get some glue. I guess we will just cover it up for a few more days. 

Matthew Perry Gone

Photo credit: https://www.google.com/amp/s/pagesix.com/2023/10/28/photos/matthew-perry-through-the-years-the-friends-stars-life-in-photos/amp/

I am not the kind of person who is saddened by most celebrities’ deaths, but there have been a few that have gotten to me: John Ritter, Robin Williams, Luke Perry, and now, Matthew Perry. I am not the type of person that cries over the death of people I don’t personally know, but I do feel sorrow for the loss of these talented people. 

The loss of Matthew Perry feels a bit different from the others. I watch Friends every night when I go to bed, so I see a younger version of him daily. I also read his memoir earlier this year which made me feel like I knew him better than other celebrities. I was rooting for him to continue to straighten up his life and fulfill more of his dreams. I honestly hope that he was able to continue to stay sober for the rest of his life. We may not currently know how he died, but I have a feeling it was something to do with the abuse he put his body through for so long. I will miss hearing about the good he was doing through his book as he tried to raise awareness about what addiction can do.

This week, I will be sewing together the Friends sweater that I have been working on. It kind of feels like the one thing I can do to show my support in a small way. 

Halloween Costumes

 Yesterday, Noel and I went to the Trunk or Treat at the church. She came up with cute ideas for costumes that we put together. Mine is mostly stuff I had at home other than the shirt and wand. Noel’s is mostly stuff from the thrift store. 

On Monday, Noel and I went the the only thrift store in town to get her things to put her vision together. (She has been talking about being a pirate for a while.) She settled on a dress she could modify, a corset-like belt, and a lot of jewelry. Then, we went to Walmart yesterday morning where she found tights, a bandanna, and a scarf with gold, dangling trinkets. Then, she worked on the dress by removing the collar, ripping the sleeves at the ideal length, and changing the length without changing the shape of it with the sewing machine. The result is amazing. Who knew this would come out of stuff found here and there. She is so good at making her vision come to life. 

My costume was put together in a few hours. I didn’t have a plan until Noel suggested I create a tooth fairy costume and gave me some suggestions. Yesterday morning, I bought a plain black t-shirt, white material, and sticks made for mylar balloons while we were at Walmart. I drew and cut out a tooth pattern for the wand and shirt when we got home. I sewed one on the shirt and made one to stuff to glue on the balloon stick along with some ribbon I found in my sewing kit. I already had wings and a sparkly tutu from past consumes and added matching leggings and slippers. 

Overall, I think our costumes turned out really good. She is so good at coming up with ideas like these and executing them!

Puzzle Update

 The puzzle is coming along decently. Noel has done most of the work, of course. I put in a few pieces and got yelled at for daring to want to do the mountains/plateaus before the sky was done. We’re past that past now, so I will probably work on it a bit more. I’m now sure what order she wants to do it, but technically it’s my puzzle…right?

We did hit a few small snags. First, we are most likely missing at least two pieces. We bought it at a thrift store and knew that was possible. Second, it is on our kitchen table, and eating around it can be difficult. We have covered it a few times, but we mostly just have every one get their food in the kitchen and sit down. 

With pieces missing, I’m not sure I will be able to Mount it with the lights which makes me a bit sad. Maybe, I can use the lights for something else. Christmas is coming quickly…

Foggy Memories

 

This morning, I drove Noel to school in dense fog. We get fog like this often in the spring and fall, and it brings a few memories to mind; one good and one bad. The first one happened when I was a teenager, and the second one was in 2018. 

As a teenager, I went to a class at church before school with my sister. One morning when we were driving, we had the worst fog I had ever driven in, and it was dark which complicated the situation. I was fairly inexperienced and quite scared. As we got closer the the church, I finally had something to fix my eyes on to help me get there, the taillights of one of the teachers. This was a real life lesson for me of the importance of following someone with the experience to get me through tough things. 

Then in 2018, we had a foggy morning a lot like today. As I drove to work I couldn’t help but think how dangerous it was to be out driving and said a little prayer in my head for my kids whom I had just dropped off at the bus stop. I am thankful to this day that the prayer was answered. It did not turn out that way for everyone, though. The following day I found out that a friend of mine was in an accident as she took her son to school. He died on the scene; her son died upon arrival at the hospital; one of her daughters died a few days later; and her youngest came out of it with a broken leg. Her poor husband had to say goodbye to his wife and two of his children while taking care of an 18 month old with broken bones. Had her son son not missed the bus or the road she normally would have taken not been closed or the fog not been so dense that she didn’t see that stop sign, they may still be here. Instead, we went to a funeral for a 29 year old mom and her 6 and 3 year old children. 

Fog is more powerful that we think. It can teach us life lessons and take away our friends. I will never forget the relief I felt as I followed those tail lights or the wonderful person and her children that were taken too soon.

***I was completely stopped when I took the pictures.***

Confirmation

“We have a loving Heavenly Father who will see that we receive every blessing and every advantage that our own desires and choices allow. We also know that He will force no one into a sealing relationship against his or her will. The blessings of a sealed relationship are assured for all who keep their covenants but never by forcing a sealed relationship on another person who is unworthy or unwilling.“ Dallin H. Oaks, October 2023

When I filed for divorce, I was told by someone who did not have all the information that I was breaking my covenants. I held this guilt for a while even though I knew I was doing the right thing. Years later, I came to terms with this as a learned more about the covenants I had made because I knew that I was not the one who had broken them. 

When I went through the process of having my sealing to my first husband cancelled so I could be sealed to Chad, I felt a sorrow greater than I had felt with the divorce. Not because I wanted to be connected to my ex husband. I wanted to be sealed to someone who honored and respected the relationship we had and someone who truly loved me for who I was. I’m not sure I can explain why I felt the way I did other than I was once again worried I was doing something that was wrong for many people including my children. When the process was complete, I I was able to say that Chad was mine for eternity, and all of these feelings were worth it. 

This morning, I was listening to President Oaks’ talk from this last conference, and I felt a confirmation that I had done the right thing in 2018. The ex and I have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship with each other (we have both remarried). He does not live by the teachings of the Church. I strive to keep my covenants I have made. If I had not gone through this process, we would not be forced to be with each other for eternity. That would be torture! 

I am thankful for this talk and the other teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that have confirmed to me that I have made the right choices. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to be happy. 

Weaving the Ends

 

On the back of my office chair, I have 2 shawls, a scarf, and a lap blanket. These are all projects I have finished over the past few months. They are not there because I get cold easy. It hasn’t been cold enough for such things for the most part. They aren’t there for decoration even though the lap blanket will probably stay for that reason. They are all there because I still need to weave in the ends. 

I love knitting and crocheting. Working with yarn to make something beautiful or useful is a stress relief. The problem is that I hate weaving in ends. I do it fairly quickly when I make hats or when I am making something for someone else. However, when it is something for me that I know I won’t be able to use for a while, I’m in no hurry to complete this dreaded step. I know that I will be kicking myself when I want to wear one of these or when I decide to sit down in front of the tv to do it all. For now, I will just adjust my “decorations” when they slide down each day. 

Working on It

Someday, I will get professional help again. It’s not the budget right now, and I’m ok with that. Even though I go into a downward spiral at times, I know it can be worse. It has been worse. Last time it scared me, I got help, and I am working on the coping mechanisms I learned three years ago. It is more important for my kids to be taken care of for now. One of these days they will all be gone, and I will be able to put more into myself at that time. 

What am I doing now? I am exercising more and have started to read fiction again before I go to sleep at night. I am reading in the Book of Mormon more consistently again and listening to conference talks while I work. I switched to watching Heartland instead of intense police and medical dramas. I have cleaned my desk a bit and am looking for more things to get rid of. I have had a few conversations with my husband to tell him what I am stressing out about. 

All of these things are helping a little bit. I think that it will help more as the habits develop. I am working on having hope for the future again. 

This Feeling

 I have been walking around with the worst feeling of dread for quite sometime. I don’t sleep much, and I have a lot going on in my life right now. I stress about money, raising the two kids still at home, my job, and Angeles that may pop into my head. 

Exercise seems to help with this feeling of dread, but that wears away after an hour or two. I wish I could have that natural, post workout high more regularly. 

I have come up with a few things that should help. First, I told Chad that we need to not get Door Dash at all until at least after Christmas. The other thing is asking my husband for a blessing. He is nervous todo so, but I fully believe it will help. Once tgese two things are in place, I will look at myself again to figure out what I can change or do to better organize my life. 

Hash Brown Casserole

 

Did you know there are recipes on the back of the large bag of Kroger brand cheese. I didn’t even think about it until I noticed this one last week. It sounded good and easy to make, so I planned to have it this week. 

This hash brown casserole was our dinner last night. I was pleasantly surprised how easy it actually was to make. I needed up mixing it in a gallon size bag because I didn’t have a mixing bowl big enough. This was a perfect solution. I may do it for other recipes. 

The feedback I got from the family wasn’t too bad. Chad and Sean both said it needed more sausage, and Noel said it wasn’t too bad. I can’t expect much better from them. I thought it was good enough to have leftovers for lunch today. I think I am going to try to make this more often. 

Tommy’s Hat

 I finished Tommy’s hat today. It felt good to finish something again. This was a really fast knit! Funny thing is that I have made this pattern twice for Eric, but it has never knit this fast. I am obviously getting faster when I knit, but I also think knitting in church helped. 

Now, I need to decide which yarn to use for Chris’s hat and make another one. (I am leaning towards the leftovers from Noel’s hat.)

Back to Hats

I have finished the back, left front, right front, and 1 1/3 sleeves, and I have to stop crocheting for now. My right thumb is not appreciating all of the work I’m putting into this sweater. It doesn’t seems to care how much I want to finish and wear it. It doesn’t care that the more I finish, the more in love I am. It just wants a rest. 

Now, I am going back to my first love, knitting. I don’t need my thumb for that as much. I even have two projects that need to be finished by mid November. Today, I picked up Tommy’s hat and got a lot done in it without causing further pain. I expect it to be done by the end of the week. Then, I will start a hat for my brother-in-law. I am fairly confident that I will be able to finish it in a week or two. Hopefully, my thumb will be better by then. I am considering making one for my dad, too. I need stuff to knit in church, and hats are perfect for that. I just need to find enough people who will wear them. 

New Hook

 

For my Friends sweater, I need two hook sizes. For the most part, I use the larger hook (the one I already broke and had to find a replacement for). However, I needed to use the smaller one for the cuff of the sleeve a few days ago. I was excited to go back to a pretty, sparkly hook, but I quickly realized it was flimsy and worried about breaking it without a backup. I didn’t want to have to go to a boring one. Thankfully, I don’t have to. Through the magic of Amazon, I was able to find a pretty hook with a rubber grip. For only $5 I was able to order it and have it delivered today. I am excited to use it for the next cuff and both frames! 

Puzzle Time

 For date night, I thought it would be fun to get a puzzle from the thrift store to put together. I was a bit shocked at the selection. There weren’t so many that it was hard to make a decision, but there were enough that there was a decision to be made. We ended up buying two: one that lights up and one with a pretty winter scene. 

When we got home, we decided to started with the light up puzzle which has to be put together before mounting it with lights. We spent about two hours trying to do the edges, but didn’t get too far. Then, Noel took over after we went to bed and almost finished the edges. I have a feeling she will be the one to do the majority of it, but we will all work on it until it’s done. 

Entertainment? No!

I have been watching Grey’s Anatomy for a while, and I was enjoying it until recently. It got too political. I don’t mind things here and there like it was for the first 10 or so seasons, but it got a bit out of hand by season 17. 

Season 17 aired during the pandemic and highlighted the worst parts of it. This was a bit to be expected since it takes place in a hospital, but not to this degree. This was not a fun time to live through, but we did so because there was no option. I turned to movies and shows as an escape and still do. This show has brought up memories and feelings that I would rather not deal with right now. I feel like it is re-traumatizing me during a time that I struggle to watch the news because of the horrible things that are going on now. 

Maybe some people can watch stuff like this and be ok with it or even appreciate that they addressed the many things that were going on at the time. I am not one of them. I need my entertainment to be an escape. This is not. I need to not be reminded of the awful way people can be towards each other. I live in a bit of a bubble because I work and go to school from home, but I do watch the news and know what is going on around me for the most part. 

I will not be watching this show anymore. I can’t handle it right now. I hate that I won’t be finishing what is left of it on Netflix, but I have to draw a line somewhere. I can’t have the show I’m watching affect me in this way. Fiction needs to be entertaining. 

Being Watched

Dexter likes to sleep against the wall just outside my bedroom. This morning he was doing this as I started the laundry during one of my breaks. Sometimes, he jumps up and moves out of the way as I walk through the door. Not this time, though. This time he just watch me as I walked around. The way he turned his head and body looked totally uncomfortable, but he had no problem doing it. 

Feeling Accomplished

 

I’ve been trying to concentrate on my small victories lately because I was feeling like a failure for various reasons. Today, I had more than one victory. 

First of all, I finished the left front side of my Friends sweater. It only took about a week to do compared to the week and a half for the right front side. I am so extra have started the first sleeve. 

Then, I got the kitchen more under control. It’s Chad’s week to do dishes which means the rest of the kitchen has been a disaster. I did some dishes and cleaned counters while I cooked. 

Lastly, the washing machine cleaner was delivered while I was out. When I got home I started the cleaning cycle before sitting down to finally relax. 

I feel so alive and so accomplished. I want to feel this good more often. 

Chicken Socks

Last summer, Noel and I bought matching chicken socks before heading out to Utah because we thought it would be funny to walk into my dad’s house wearing them. Then, we forgot to wear them until we were getting ready to leave. I haven’t worn them since. 

Tonight, I looked for socks to wear for date night, but my athletic socks seems to be disappearing. The only socks I could find that matched were fuzzy socks and knee high socks. The two pair at the top of the drawer were chicken and Wonder Woman. I picked chicken this time. 

Knee highs will be great in the winter, but I really need to buy new socks. 
 

I Love Nature

 I planted Xenia seeds this summer, and they are at their peak right now. I have never planted them before, but I will definitely do it again. Today, and Sean and I were leaving the house, I saw that one of my darker flowers has one light petal. I wish I had noticed a week ago before this flower started to get brown, but it is still really cool and pretty. I hope to find more unique, pretty mixes next year. 

Ghosts!

A few months ago a friend asked if I could make these ghosts for her. Then, she went out of the country for a few weeks, and I forgot about them. As people put up Halloween decorations this week, I suddenly remembered and sought out the pattern. They were very simple to make. I had fun with the sparkly yarn and colored eyes. I would make them again for anyone who asked. 

Meow Wolf Denver with Sean

I have a tradition with my kids for their birthdays in which they get a day with me to do something of their choosing. (Eric decided he grew out of this when he was 18.) I won't get into all of the reasons it started because they don't matter now. What does matter is that this one day they get to have my attention and have fun doing something they want to do without anyone else's opinion on what that is. The only time this didn't work so well was in 2020 when we had to find an alternative for Boondocks. 

I know it is almost two weeks since Sean's birthday, but today was my day with Sean. He has finally decided that he has outgrown Boondocks, so he chose to go to Meow Wolf. He already went with he grandma and wanted to show me around. There were a lot of things to see and a storyline with the Q card. After about an hour, he was overwhelmed with all of the people and mentioned several times how there weren't as many people last time (in the middle of a weekday). I was overwhelmed with all of the sounds, and I assured him that I would not be upset if he wanted to leave. We made a quick stop at the gift shop before heading to Cold Stone and going home. 

Overall, it was a good day. I'm so glad that I have this tradition with my kids. I am sure they will all eventually grow out of it, but I will enjoy it while it lasts. 

Should I Drop It?

I am in week 4 of 14 for this semester. I have two classes that are very hard (Social Psychology and Teaching Family Life Ed) and one easy 1 credit elective. I have an A in the easy class, a C in the psychology class, and an F in the other one. I can redeem the psychology grade. I missed one assignment a few weeks ago, and I know that the grade will go up the as I turn in more work. I don’t know if I can redeem the other class, though. I need to make a decision if I should drop it and take it next semester which would push back my graduation until July. Honestly, this is what I’m learning towards. There are only two things keeping me from doing it: I can’t drop under 6 credits without having to pay student loans from my first degree, and I don’t want to ouch back my graduation again. I just don’t know if it is worth trying to figure out. 

Struggling is Okay

When I was growing up, I was lead to believe that I would have very little struggles if I were to be faithful. I understand where this advice was coming from, but it is dangerous advice and not true. There were time in my life when I felt on top of the world spiritually, doing my very best to do what was right, but my world came crashing down on me anyway. 

Life is not easy no matter who you are and what path you choose to follow. There was a talk during this last conference that addressed this very issue. (I don’t remember who was speaking or if it was from the Sunday morning or afternoon session.) When we struggle, we are not alone. Jesus Christ suffered all, and we can draw on His strength when we need it the most. He is there to comfort us when times are hard. 

Does this mean everything will get better just by praying, reading scriptures, and going to church? No. We have been given access to get help when it is needed. There is no reason to be ashamed of reaching out to a professional or taking medication for these struggles. My mom did it, and I’m glad she did. I’ve done it from time to time and should probably do it more often. When we use these tools in combination with being faithful to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, we can be made whole. 

“…peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.”

Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-9

Marleah’s Hat

 

I finished Marleah’s hat yesterday while watching conference. This hat was so much fun to knit! I’m a bit sad I’m done and have to go back to knitting a biting one for my nephew. I may do this one again for myself even though I try not to knit the same thing more than once unless it is socks. Of course, I broke this rule when I made the beanies for the kids this summer. We’ll see if I still feel this way when I finish the other projects I have planned. 

Conference Rolls

A while back, a lady at church talked about her tradition of making cinnamon rolls for her family for General Conference weekend. I knew people had this tradition but wasn’t too concerned with doing it myself. However, Chad had not heard of this and got very excited. I couldn’t tell him know when he was that excited about a new tradition, so I started making cinnamon rolls for conference a few weeks later. Most of the time, I make them from scratch. When I have a stressful semester, it’s Pilsbury to the rescue. This time it is a Pilsbury conference. My husband and kids are happy, and I can keep my sanity.