Couches

The church is being updated (new carpet, paint, and couches) which means they were giving away the old furniture from the foyer. My friend found out and went into action to get them for me. First, she had to convince me that I was worth the trouble. Then, she asked the bishop to hold them until we could find someone to help us get them (we only have small cars). She even set up a backup plan which we ended up needing. 

Friday after I got home from my doctor appointment, I texted her to see if  everything was still going to work out. She was not available anymore that night because of work stuff, and the people who were going to help move the couches had their daughter surprise them for the weekend, so they weren’t available either. She told me the backup people, and I texted the one I knew best of the two. He quickly brought his son to the church and had the couches loaded in his truck before the kids and I could meet them to help, so we just met them back at my house. He, his son, and Sean were able to bring them in quickly. 

Now, all we need to do is figure out how to get rid of the old couch and a recliner. They are not in the kid of condition that I would give them to anyone else. Most likely, we will end up getting a dumpster and clean out the garage a bit at the same time. 

Through this process, I learned a bit about myself. I do not feel I deserve nice things. (I know these are not real nice, but they are nicer than any couch I have had for most of my adult life.) I need to get past this. It was ok that we bought the Kia in 2016. It was a nice car at the time that was only a few years only with kind of high miles since to used to be a rental car. It was paid for out of Chad’s paycheck as is the Jeep we got in August. I shouldn’t have let anyone make me feel guilty for buying a reliable car especially since it was the only car we had as a family. I should allow myself to buy new clothes that aren’t on the clearance rack. I love getting deals at thrift stores, but brand new jeans could be nice. One of these days, maybe I’ll even have as many bras that fit properly as my daughter. I am allowed to have glasses that have the proper prescription. I don’t need to always be last priority as I was told I was growing up and in my last marriage. I work hard for my income. Why do I let the ghosts of relationships past dictate my life? 

These couches may be ugly, but they are mine. Right now, they will serve as a reminder that I am worth something. My friends can see it. I would see it, too.