You Learn by Living - Book Review

 

I recently finished You Learn by Living by Eleanor Roosevelt. This was such an amazing book! I talked to my sister and husband about it every chance I got. This book is full of practical advise on how to improve your life mixed with stories from her own life. As I read it, I was amazed at how much a book originally published in 1960 (only about 2 years before Eleanor Roosevelt died) was still applicable today. There were a few things mentioned that reminded me how far we have come in certain things, and I couldn't relate to things that she enjoyed because of her wealth and station in life. However, I didn't let that take away from the amazing messages of wisdom that poured out from the pages. 

Here are a few quotes I particularly liked:

Today, learning and living must go hand in hand. Each new bit of knowledge, each new experience is an extra tool in meeting new problems and working them out. It takes everything we can acquire to help us understand the new situations, new problems that are arising on all sides. (page 17)

 A mature person is one who does not think in only absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with circumstances of life, knowing that in this world all of us need both love and charity. (page 63)

I think one of the basic things to recognize is that the only valuable development is the development of an individual. If you try to change that individual so that he loses his personality, you have done something that he loses his personality, you have done something that has destroyed the most important thing about the human being, his essential difference from anybody else. (page 69)

If it is essential, though difficult, to learn how to deal with various kinds of people in one's own environment, it is equally essential, and much more difficult, to learn how to deal with various kinds of people from a totally different environment, people of many races and cultures, people whose customs and patterns of thought are altogether unlike our own. At this moment, it is quite possible that the future of the world and of life on this planet depends on our ability to mast the technique of getting along with the many different peoples who inhabit this globe. (page 143)

The last quote I listed is my absolute favorite from this book! It ignites in me a spark I haven't felt for a long time. This book makes me want to get out and meet more people and do something in my community that will make a real difference. I think that this is what I am here on this earth to do.  

 

2025 Reading Goal

 At the beginning of 2024, I set a goal to read 6 books through the year. Little did I know, I would  end up in a self-help deep dive. Between nonfiction and fiction reading, I achieved my goal by the middle of the year and upped my goal to 10. As I spent at least 10 minutes a day on self-help, read my fiction series when I went to bed, and found other moments to read here and there, I finished the year having read 14 books. I know this isn't a lot to some people, but it's significant to me. 

This year, my goal is to finish at least 15 books. I think I can go over that goal, but I will be happy to have read more than last year. Right now, I am working on three books: Fast Like a Girl, Garters and Gargoyles, and Standing for Something. My bag of books has 7 more books in it that I will finish by the end of the year. I also have books here and there around the house that I read a few chapters from for classes but didn't finish that I will pick up and books in my Kindle that I will start when I finish my fiction book to get me to and past my goal. 

I have the goal of not buying any new books this year unless I have read everything I have that I haven't read. I don't think I will be buying any new books. Although, there is a possibility that I will get a library card...

I Have This Bag

I have this bag of books under my desk waiting for me. It's full of nonfiction books that I want to read. Each time I finish a book, I lay these books out on my bed to decide which book I want to read next. These are all books that will help me become the person I want to be and heal from my past. The only problem that I have is that I keep adding to it.

The last book that I pulled out of my bag was The Law of Love by Steve Young. I started this book a few weeks ago and read it for about 10 minutes each morning before my bath. I am loving this book so far. It talks about the importance of loving God and other people fully without expectation of reward. As we learn to love as God loves, we naturally become the type of person I aspire to be. In this book, he quotes scripture, church authorities, and religious leaders from other churches. The chapter I finished this morning talked about the lessons in love that he learned through football. I have enjoyed this book from the beginning and am thinking of giving to the ladies I minister to for Christmas. I am fairly certain that the next book I will pull out of my bag will be the companion book The Law of Love in Action.

What other books do I have in this bag? 

• A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson 
• Habits of a Peace Maker by Steven T. Collis
• Standing for Something by Gordon B. Hinckley
• The Rock of Our Redeemer: Facing the Future with Faith, Hope, and Power by David A. Bednar
• Old-Fashioned on Purpose: Cultivating a Slower, More Joyful Life by Jill Winger
• The Doctrine and Covenants / The Pearl of Great Price Journal Edition (for next year's scripture study)

I am excited to read all of these books, but I won't rush myself because I want to savor them. I will keep reading at the same pace and soak in every concept. I will probably continue to add to the bag, too. 

Thankful for Women of History

As much as I would like to see more women climbing the social ladder, I can’t help but see how far we have come. There was a time when women were nothing more than the property of their husbands. They were expected think and act as they were told to do. If they didn’t, there were consequences to be paid. Some of these consequences were done behind closed doors and others were more public. 

For the past few weeks, I have been reading about Elizabeth Packard. She dared to publicly have different beliefs than her husband. As a result, she was committed to an “insane asylum.” At the time, all it took to do this was a signed affidavit from the husband. Then, the fact that she no longer wanted to live with her husband, along with her trying to stick up for herself and other women, were used to keep her there. 

The book that I am reading goes into the general treatment of women who were deemed “insane” in the 1860’s. It was appalling and disgusting and inhumane. There have been times that I felt physically ill as I have read this book. 

I am thankful for women like Elizabeth Packard who fought for women’s rights, going against the grain. We don’t learn about them individually in school. I just happened to come across this book when I took Sean to Barnes and Noble last month. 

I am not one of those people who will say that we need to halt the progress of men/boys to let the women/girls rise above. However, I do believe that women should have the chance to excel if they choose to do so. We should be listened to as equal contributors and be paid equally for the same work. We should have our strengths celebrated alongside the strengths of men. 

We have come a long way in giving women the rights and dignities they deserve as members of the human race. My hope is they we continue to do so in a way that honors us as women.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing - Review

 

I finally finished Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing. In some ways I loved this book. I have read the reviews. Some are good, and others are not. It seems that people who just want to know more about Matthew Perry love this book. Then, there are the people who seem to expect it to be perfectly written and edited. 

I bought this book in December as soon as I heard about it because I have a slight obsession with Friends, and I love to learn about people’s backstories. I wasn’t able to start it until January, but for those reasons, I eagerly dove into the book knowing the time I had for reading personal books was limited. 

This book tells Matthew Perry’s life struggles in raw detail. I think it would have been a disservice to him had it been perfectly edited. For the most part, he tells his life story in a linear way. He talks of his upbringing following his parents' divorce, his rise to stardom, his struggles with addiction and dating, his love of God, and his road to recovery. 

Matthew Perry starts with what should have been the story of his death. One would think this would have been the wakeup call needed for him to get clean once and for all. ***Spoiler alert***It was not. 

If you want to read a literary work of art, this is not the book for you. If you want to learn the story of Matthew Perry's life and how he overcame the impossible, you will like this book.