Need to Make a Change

 

I went to the temple yesterday and took a picture as I was leaving to post on social media, but I didn't post. There were two problems with this picture. First, the wind was so strong that I made a goofy face that slightly resembled a smile. I hate when I do that, but that alone wouldn't have stopped me from posting. The second problem, the one that made me think twice, was I looked so fat. I know I have gained a lot of weight since I started working from home, but I didn't realize how much it showed in my face. I need to make a change. I want to be confident enough to post a picture leaving the temple no matter what the wind make my face do. I don't know exactly what I will be doing yet, but I know I can't keep going in this direction with my health. 

Making Weight Loss Goals Again

I have rewatching Biggest Loser lately after watching a podcast episode on YouTube where Jillian Michaels interviewed some of her past contestants that have continued to be successful. I loved listening to them talk about their time on the show and decided to search out old episodes after they said they are available to watch. I found seasons 10 to 17 on Prime. It looks like the rest may be available to purchase on there, but I'm not willing to do that. 

I am very inspired by this show. I know that losing as much weight per week as they did is not healthy, but watching what I eat and exercising is healthy. This show gives me hope that weight loss is possible. 

I finished season 11 last week. For about the last month or so of that season, the girls were getting to be smaller than me and losing 3 or more pounds per week. So far, this is the most inspiring part of the show. I think I can lose 2 or 3 pounds a week if I really try. 

Another inspiration from this show came from one of the men. Each week, he wrote his goal weight of the week. Each week, he met or surpassed his goal. I have decided to follow this example by putting my goal for the week on my hand. This is not going to be an easy goal to meet, but I think I can do it through a lot of hard work. 

I know I have tried to lose weight many times just to gain it all back. I hope to be able to create the habits necessary to lose weight and keep it off. 

Smack in the Face

 Chad found a documentary series on Max called The Weight of the Nation. It is an HBO original that originally aired in 2012, and it is very eye opening. This 4 part series goes through the risks of being obese, what we can do about it, and how to help kids on the path to obesity. To me it was all information I had heard here and there, but having it all in one place was a bit scary. 

I have been overweight most of my adult life. When I was in my early 20s I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism a bit after the weight gain started. As I had kids, it got a bit worse. At least one point, I started counting calories and exercising with friends which was fun. (That's right. I wasn't doing it to please my husband at the time like he claimed.) Then, I really started to lose weight once he was gone. Unfortunately, I have gained it all back plus some since being married to Chad. 

In 2017, I was diagnosed with fatty liver disease, and I freaked out. I got very serious about tracking my food and exercising. Each time I went in for a follow up, I had lost weight. However, I also kept getting diagnosed with more issues while my thyroid was not being given the priority I thought it needed, so I switched to a different doctor that I had seen that was further away. They said I had no indication of having a fatty liver. I was relieved and went back to my old way of eating. 

I am now close to my heaviest weight in my life. I don't like it, and I'm uncomfortable a lot more than I should be. I already read a book about a fasting regime and started a workout routine. However, after watching this documentary, I am back to feeing scared about my health. I feel the urgency to take off as much weight as is healthy. I don't want to have a heart attack. I don't want diabetes. I don't want cirrhosis. I am making changes. I just hope it isn't too late.