2 Nephi 9

As those who read this blog know, I have been studying the Book of Mormon for a class I am taking this semester. Our reading assignment this week was 2 Nephi 9-16. Some of these chapters were difficult to understand because they were chapters from Isaiah. However, I really liked chapter 9 which explained the Atonement and what we need to do or not do if we want to be saved through this wonderful gift. It is a long chapter, so I'm not going to go trough the entire chapter, but I would like to go over some of the highlights.
Verses 5 and 6 explain  "...the great Creator that suffereth himself to become subject unto man in the flesh, and die for all men, that all men might become subject unto him. For as death passed upon all men, to fulfill the merciful plan of the great creator, there must needs be a power of resurrection.." This is interesting to me because it explains the purpose of Christ coming to earth and dying. We are told that he was subject to men and now we are subject to him. I didn't think of it this way before. I had not thought of Jesus be subject to the laws of man, but we know that he was because he was careful of how he worded things like when he was asked what the greatest commandment was he responded in Mark 12:30-31, "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. and the Second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is non other commandment greater than these." By doing this, he had broken no laws and satisfied the will of God, his father. He was also crucified because of the corrupt laws of man. Because of this great sacrifice, we are now asked to be subject to Christ. He paid for our sins and he wants us to come unto him.
Further in the chapter, we are advised of Spiritual death which is the complete separation, both physical and spiritual, from our Heavenly Father. We that if we make the wrong choices we will have "perfect knowledge of our guilt," but if we choose righteously we will "have a perfect knowledge of (our) enjoyment" in verse 14. I would rather remember the joys that I had through life rather than the things I would need to feel guilty about. I don't know about you, but I don't like that guilty feeling. This is because of the atonement as well.
I think the best part of this chapter is verse 18 where we are given our goal for this life, "But , behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed int he Holy one of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world,and despised the same of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be forever." This is a great goal for us with a promise from our loving God! We are old if we follow Christ as we endure the challenges of life, we will have eternal life with our Father in Heaven. Not only do they want us to have this gift, they have a place saved for us. That is even better than walking into a ward party and having a friend save seats for me and my family (which is a great feeling). They want us to succeed. They are waiting for us to come back. To put the icing on the cake, we will have eternal joy. What more could we ask for?
Christ came to this earth as a man. He suffered many things for us and was subject to all of the evils of the world. He knew joys and pain while he was here. He suffered and was crucified for us. All he is asking in return is that we follow His example. If we do so, he has a spot reserved for us where we will not feel pain and sorrow. He knew we wouldn't be perfect, but if we do our part by repenting and listening to and following  His counsel, he has already paid the price so that we can still claim that spot. Isn't that a wonderful promise?
Please, take the time to REALLY study 2 Nephi. It is an amazing chapter of scripture that spells out all we need to know about the Atonement.

Straiten Through Afflictions

I have been studying 1 Nephi 15 to 22 this week. I have learned some important lessons. The main one that I have learned is that we are given trials, struggles, and afflictions to make us stronger and to gain the blessings that the Lord has in store for us.
I started learning this lesson as I was reading chapter 17. In this chapter, Nephi is commanded to build a ship, and the Lord shows him how. His brothers mock him and call him a fool for thinking he can build a ship and cross the vast waters. They didn't believe that the Lord had commanded him to build a ship and was showing him how. He stood up to his brother and told them that if the Lord could bring the children of Isreal out of bondage, He can help him build a boat saying in verse 37  to 40, "And he raiseth up a righteous nation, and destroyeth the nations of the wicked. And he leadeth away the righteous into precious lands, and the wicked he destroyeth, and curseth the land unto them for their sakes. He ruleth high in the heavens...And he loveth those who will have him to be their God..." He continues on to say that the Lord "did straiten them in the wilderness...because of their iniquity" in verse 41. I looked up straiten because I wanted to see why they would use this spelling of the word. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary online, straiten means to make narrow. According to dictionary.com, it means" to put into or bring into difficulties or distress." To me this means, he is telling us that the Lord was giving them difficulties and narrowing their options because they are not following the commandments.
Now, I am going to skip to chapter 20. This chapter is like Isaiah chapter 48. I want to concentrate on just a few verses: 10, 18, and 22. "For behold, I have refined, thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction...O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments - then had peace been as a river, and they righteousness as the waves of the sea...there is no peace, saith the Lord, unto the wicked." We are being told that the Lord is refining us with afflictions and if we follow the commandments we will have peace and a greater influence on others. Also, if we don't listen to Him, we will not have those blessings. Afflictions are not fun. Dictionary.com defines affliction as, "a state of pain, distress, or grief." We are not given peace automatically. We have to go through the "pain, distress, and grief" while obeying the Lord and following his plan for us. As we do this, he will bless us with peace.
In the Hymn book for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are taught "Sweet is the peace the gospel brings to seeking minds and true," in Hymn 14. As I have been studying the scripture over the last few weeks, this hymn has brought more and more meaning into my life. It has calmed me when I am scared, it has helped me in my studies, and it has helped me be more patient with my family. I know that the Lord brings us to Him through our trials and obedience. I am so happy that I have the opportunity to truly study and learn from the Book of Mormon!

The Example of Nephi

This week in my religion class, I had the opportunity of studying 1 Nephi 1- 5 in the Book of Mormon.This is the first time in a long time that I have really studied the Book of Mormon. I learned lessons that I hadn't realized were in these chapters.
In these chapters Lehi prophesied that Jerusalem would be destroyed and takes his family to the wilderness as directed by the Lord. Then, he is given the commandment to send his sons back to Jerusalem to get the brass plates from Laban, the king. Laman and Lemuel murmur. Nephi tells his father that he will do it because it is a commandment of the Lord. After two failed attempts, they obtain the plates and a new traveling companion, Zoram, Laban's servant. Upon returning to their parents, they discover that Sariah, their mother had complained about her sons going back and had worried that they had been killed. Lehi calms her by telling her that he knew that he was asking a lot, but these were the Lords directions. When the brothers returned, their parents rejoiced and thanked the Lord. Then, they read from the plates of brass.
In the class we were provided with clips of General Conference talks that go along with these chapters that I have taken for granted because, as most Mormons, I have read them more than the majority of the book. There were two that talked about murmuring. These clips opened my eyes to the negativity that I have been spreading. Elder Neil A. Maxwell explained that murmuring is a half complaint and that we do this because we want the Lord to accept us on our own terms rather than His. Elder Jeffery R. Holland explained that when we murmur people don't like to be around people that negative. My favorite quote from his talk, "The Tongue of Angels," was, "No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse." He relates this to Laman and Lemuel in chapter 3 where they are striking Nephi and have him tied up. He says that Nephi may have been more accepted of the beatings because it meant they were not murmuring while hitting them. He then quotes Ephesians 4:29-33 which says, "Let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth...be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
From these scriptures and talks, I learned that I need to be more willing to follow God's plan for me with our complaining (murmuring). It, also, taught me that it is better to forgive others as Nephi did after the angel rebuked his brothers in chapter 3.

And Then There Was One

The kids started school August 12. They are now in 8th, 6th, and 4th grades. This means I have only one left in elementary school. It seems like just yesterday Eric started kindergarten, and I was walking him to school with Noel in a stroller and Sean slowly wondering behind.

Going Back to School

schoolclipart.biz

I remember saying I wanted to go to BYU in middle school. Now is my chance! I have enrolled in the Pathway program where I can go to school online along with having a group to meet with once a week. This is a less expensive way to earn my bachelors degree with support from reputable university. I get to start in September. I can't wait!

Freedom or Cost of Being Annoymous

clashdaily.com

A few weeks ago, I noticed that I was becoming more and more negative. I was able to trace this bad feelings to my experiences on Facebook. Having a variety of people on the friends list, I was bombarded with ugliness towards people who have differing opinions. I didn't like how I was feeling, and I needed to find a way to feel better.

The last Sunday in June, I went to church feeling so negative, I didn't know how I was going to make it through three hours with a lot of people. My Heavenly Father knew I needed help. The opening song was "The Star Spangled Banner." As we stood up and sang, tears ran down my eyes. I was reminded of my rich family heritage and the freedoms we truly enjoy. I felt peace as my eyes were opened to the changes I needed to make.

I made the decision to take some much needed time away from Facebook and spend more time researching my family history. I have found the record of an ancestor in the Revolutionary War. This was an exciting find that I don't think I would have found if I had continued spending my time reading the debates on Facebook. 

We live in a great country where we can voice our opinion on decisions made by government officials without fear of being prosecuted. To go along with that freedom, we have online forums where we have a way to express our feelings and have that opinion "heard" by more people while remaining semi-annoymous. With this wonderful freedom comes responsibility. We have to think about how other people feel about the things we are saying. I am all for standing up for your beliefs, but why do we have to do that by belittling others?

Many Helpers

http://gregburdine.com/

I am so thankful for the many people who helped me when I was in the hospital and a little bit after I was released.
As soon as I found out that I was going to be admitted to the hospital, all I could think of was making sure the kids were taken care of. One of the first calls I made was to my kids' dad. He agreed to to pick up the kids from school, take Sean and Noel to their concert and record it, and take the kids home with him for the night (I called them in to school to dismiss them for a family emergency the next day). The following day, he printed up the papers need to sign the boys up for scout camp and to them to their scheduled appointments. The best part was he brought the kids to see me when he stopped by to get their insurance cards. He kept them one more night and dropped Eric off at a friend's birthday party and dropped of the other kids at home. He didn't have to agree to do any of this. He wasn't even going to have them this weekend, but he did it any way.
Another person I called right after being told I was not going home right away was my mother-in-law. I was pretty sure that Chad would not have been able to leave work to be with me since he had only been working at that job for about a week and a half. My mother-in-law is a nurse, and I felt like she would bee able to be my advocate if need be. She and my father-in-law came down as quick as they could. They also came down the following day and were there for me when I was taken to surgery and when I was brought back from recovery. I was nice that I didn't have to be alone.
After my husbands parents came to the hospital, I asked my father-in-law for a blessing. He agreed and asked me to find a second person for the blessing. I called the Tandbergs. Not only did he agree to assist with a blessing, she agree to sit with my primary class on Sunday. They were at the hospital quickly, and the blessing was giving right before the MRI that I had to determine if there was a blockage in my liver as well that would need to be cleared up prior to the gallbladder being removed.
After my in-laws left, the hospital chaplin stopped by and said a prayed for me that helped ease my nerves. He, also, stopped in real quick to make sure I was ok as I was getting ready to go to surgery.
My husband has been amazing since the text I sent him (before calling anyone else). He called as soon as he could. He tried to figure out if he could leave work to be with me. When he got off work, he took his work truck home, grabbed his car, and came to be with me as quickly as he could. Even though the fact that I had very little sleep and was made even more tired from the pain meds made me sleep on and off most of the time he was there. The day of the surgery, he came to get me as soon as possible as well. He got my meds from the pharmacy, went grocery shopping, and sacrificed sleep to take care of me.
After leaving the hospital, I have had ladies from church call or send facebook messages to check on me, meals were brought for three nights, and someone from church came by the house to pick up the papers to make sure the boys are all signed up for camp.
It is easy to sit and feel sorry for myself because my mom can't come to help me, but Heavenly Father has blessed me with many people in my life.

Bad Timing

I couldn't have chosen a worse week to get sick. My kids have a lot going on that I have to miss. Thursday night, instead of going to Sean's band and Noel's choir concert, I was lying in a hospital wondering if I was having surgery in the morning or having a blockage cleared to have surgery the day after. This morning, instead of going to see my daughter's cheer competition, I will likely be sitting at home in pain knitting and watching tv. I also had planned to help with Sean's 5th grade continuation bbq in a few days. I have a feeling I won't be able to do much there either since I have a 5 pound weight limit for the first few weeks.
I hate this. I love watching my kids perform their musical talents. I have put a lot of time and money into cheerleading. I missed Sean's first day of school because I had to work. I don't want to miss this too. I just want to be there to celebrate my kids' accomplishments.

After Surgery

Here I am lying in a Lazy Boy chair sore with an upset stomach. My gallbladder was removed at about 11am yesterday. I was able to go home last night. I just took my Vicodin to help with the pain and I took it with food, but I still feel ill. I don't want to wake my husband because I know he didn't sleep well last nigh because he was so concerned, and he had to work yesterday sine he is in only his second week of training (his parents stayed with me at the hospital). I know he would be willing to help, but I don't know what I need.

Waiting

Yesterday morning, I went to the emergency room in a lot of pain. I was told that my gallbladder needed to come out that afternoon. I was admitted quickly and didn't hear much for hours. Finally, the doctor came in to let me now what was going on. I had to get more testing done to find out if there is a blockage that needed to be cleared prior to surgery. The testing was done about 3:15 pm. I still don't know if I'm having surgery today or if I have a blockage to be cleared today and surgery tomorrow. The longer I have to wait, the scarier this gets.

Shocked (Not in a Good Way)

On our way to the Mammoth (lacrosse) game on Saturday, I decided that since we were going to be very early, I needed to us the restroom, and I have been dealing with kidney pain for some time, I would turn right on the Spear Boulevard exit instead of left to search out a bathroom (there are shops and restaurants that direction). I got out in the rain at Subway to discover that I had to be a paying customer and ask for a key to use the bathroom. I drove a bit further down the street to Walgreens and once again braved the rain to be told that since the pharmacy was closed so were the public restrooms. I decided to wait until we met up with Chad's brother at the Pepsi Center and hope we could get in quickly (not only did I have to pee, it was raining very hard). On our way to the Pepsi Center, I saw something while sitting at the stoplight I hadn't seen since September 1996 at the corner of Federal and 29th (apparently when turning right off the highway, you are on 29th). I saw the funeral home that my mom and bother were taken care of after their death. I honestly had forgotten where it was and had no need to be there since the viewing. This shocked me. My heart sank. On the eve of Mother's Day I was reminded of the loss of my mom. I sure do miss her!

Knitting

knitgrrl

I have been knitting off and on since I was 11 and my mom asked her friend to teach me. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I made most of the baby shower gifts I gave and some wedding presents. I, also, made all the dish cloths in my home. When I went back to work, my knitting slowed down a lot. About a year and a half ago, my husband sat down with me when I was stressed out and needing to find an outlet and helped me to think of hobbies other than watching movies or TV. I mentioned that I really enjoyed knitting and would like to really start doing it again. He has been so supportive in me pursuing this passion.
A little over a year ago, I lady I worked with was making a wedding shawl. It was beautiful. I thought I could never make something like that. I didn't think my knitting skills were good enough. When I found out that she had only been knitting for about a year. This got me working more on expanding my knitting skills. I have yet to make a big beautiful shawl, but I have made two nice shawls, scarfs, hats, and started on a blanket and a pair of socks.
The more I knit, the more I love it!

My Family Tree

I have a new addiction, ancestery.com. We were introduced to it by the missionaries to this wonderful tool a few months ago, but I didn't really get started until last Friday (April 24). Once I started, I was hooked. I have spent most of my free time researching and learning about my ancestors and their families. I even downloaded the app on my phone so I can work on it during the down time at work. 

I just figured all of the research had been done and there was nothing left for me to do. When I was little, my dad and grandma put together a Book of Remembrance full of pedigree charts for both sides of my family. When I was a teenager, my dad would spend his Tuesday nights in the Family History library at church while my sister and I were at our youth activities researching and getting names ready to do temple work. After my mom passed away, I found out that my aunts and uncles were doing a lot of the work as well. 

With so much already done, I didn't know where to start. By linking my familysearch.com profile to ancestery.com, I was able to get a good start. 

The best part about it is that these people are becoming real! I am able to find draft cards, enlistment records, census record, pictures, and more. These people are more than just names and dates on paper to me now. They are PEOPLE. 

My Friend

I have a wonderful friend who has seen me through many of my struggles as an adult. She is the greatest example of service of anyone I know. When I was lonely, she somehow just knew to call or stop by. When I had my first baby, she took me to the store and helped me know what I would personally need for after the baby was born (hygiene products). When I was struggling to feed my kids and considering potty training my oldest, she showed up with food from her food storage and stuff for potty training. When my last marriage was falling apart she was there for me (when I let her be).  There are so many things she has done, I can list them all.
I wish I had as much to give her as she has given me. I can only hope to be the great example of service and sacrifice as she has been to me. She has now moved to another state, but I will always cherish our friendship.

My Sweet Kids

When I got home from work yesterday morning, I was in pain. Not a good kind of pain either. My stomach hurt so bad that I was considering going to the ER to see what was wrong with me. My poor kids had to hear me crying in pain until they went to school. This concerned Sean and Noel. They each made me a "Get Well Soon" card. Sean even had his entire class at school sign it. I am so lucky to have such caring kids!

Be The Change

I have decided that I need to stop expecting people to change around me to make me happy. It isn't that I am completely unhappy. I love my husband and kids. The problem has been I have issues with being depressed. I have decided to be the change I need in my life. 

I know that it is a bit late to make resolutions, but I have decided that this year is going to be about me making the changes in  my life that I need. I am going to get back to the temple this year. I am going to read my scriptures and write in my journal at least 3 times a week. I am going to keep track of what I eat and eat healthier (my first goal is to increase my water intake). I am going to increase my physical activity. 

This is my year of change. I have the family I want. I need to be the wife and mother I want to be.

The Transformer

As I looked though Facebook this last few weeks, I saw many pictures of friends and family members making Halloween costumes for their kids. In the end, you could always tell what they had made (the nerve of these crafty women). I was SO jealous. I wanted to be the mom that desired to make my kids' Halloween costumes. In reality, I would rather buy my kids' costumes which is a good thing because I don't have the time or patience to make costumes.
I tried making a cardboard Transformer costume for my oldest that had working parts this year because that was what he had his little heart set on. We had about 2 weeks from the time he decided on this costume to Halloween. The frustration level as we got closer to Halloween was intense! We finished it the morning of Halloween after the bus has already left. He was happy with the result. (The cute kids in the costumes from Amazon. They were happy, too.)

I loaded him into the car, and took him to school where said costume disintegrated. I am not going through that again! It was not fun!

He went trick-or-treating in a ski mask, black pants, and a black shirt and called himself a bugler. He was happy with the result of both costumes. He impressed his friends at school and went trick-or-treating his last time in a more comfortable costume.
For the moms who enjoy this kind of thing, more power to you. Keep doing your thing. I will be buying my kids' costumes or crafting them out of clothes they can wear on a daily basis when we are done from this point on. I'm just THAT mom.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

About a year before my mom died, she excitedly told me that President Hinckley had read a proclamation in the Relief Society broadcast. She was so excited that this had been introduced to the women of the church first. Little did we know at that time how important it would be as the years went by. At the time of her death, it was still a new thing that was being read here and there if someone found a copy of it. 

In a short time, we were given pamphlets that had this important proclamation printed in it in our church meetings, members were buying nicer copies and framing and hanging them in there households, and parts of it were being quoted in talks about families and parental responsibilities. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (a.k.a. Mormons), this one page document became an integral part of our doctrine.
When my ex-husband decided to leave the Church, I started struggling with this simple doctrine. I felt like it was telling me there was little hope for me and my family. When the marriage was ended, it felt like I was doomed. Even after I married a wonderful man who could help me realize the true blessings of marriage, I still struggled with this simple document.
In August, during a Family Home Evening lesson taught by the missionaries, my eyes were open to the beauty of this proclamation. We read this in its entirety. I am not sure I had done that in the past(if I had it had been a part of a Sunday School or Relief Society lesson where there were many distractions).
As the missionaries, Chad, and I read paragraph by paragraph, I really paid attention. We got to the second to last paragraph:
    We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disinigration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
All of a sudden, I felt a release. I felt like this paragraph was telling me that the decision to file for divorce was the right decision for my family.
This simple small paragraph gave me permission to do as I knew in my heart I needed to do for my family without the permission of the kids' dad. I no longer had to feel guilty for bringing my wonderful husband into our family. He is the husband and father figure this family needs. He is the male role model my kids need. 

Associates Degree? Yes, please!

I finally got it! I finished classes in July, and a few days ago this was delivered by UPS:

I went trough a lot in the process of earning this degree. It took me 5 years to complete. In that 5 years I faced a lot of trials and triumphs. This degree is physical proof that I can overcome what is put before me. There are people who encouraged me and kept me going, of course. Without them, I would have given up. My sister was my cheerleader from the day I told her I signed up for classes and even gave me a place to study  on the lonely weekends after my divorce when I needed it. My friends, Melissa and Suzi, continually told me I was smart enough (the words I REALLY needed to hear prior to and during my divorce). My wonderful husband encouraged me and supported even before we started dating to continue working even though I didn't think I had it in me. He was there for me when I was kicked out due to my grades, and when I decided I would fight to get back in and finish. He was there for me when it was getting late on Saturday nights (the nights my assignments were due) to remind me that I was good enough and deserved to finish. Many times he told me that I was too good to give up. I frustrated him, he frustrated me, but he never let me quit. 

Birthday Week for My Boy

Chad will be working out of town for most of the week. This means he will be getting home late on Sean's birthday (Thursday). Since Chad was so excited to see Sean's face when he opened his presents, we let him open the gift we got him as well as the gifts Chad's parents and brother gave him today. Later this week, we will take him out for his birthday lunch/dinner and he gets to pick our family activity for the weekend. (We only get them one or two weekends out of the month, so we try to make them count.)