My Current Nonfiction TBR

This time last year, I had one bag with books in it that I wanted to read. Since then, the list has grown even though I read some of the books I had. I bought a few books with the money I got from my parents for my graduation (one by Kelly Bishop, and one by Eleanor Roosevelt), and I went through the books I already had around the house (mostly books that I had for some class or another and only read certain chapters). As this collection grew, I grew more excited to read them. I got a bit behind on my reading goal for a while because I was so busy with the internship, but I am back on track to succeed by the end of the year. 

You may ask how I decide which book I will read and when. That is a difficult question to answer. I have tried to put the books into a specific order, but it doesn't work for me. I am not always excited to read the next one that was preplanned. I basically read the next book that I'm excited to read and hope to be inspired from it in some way. It's not a perfect system, but it works for the most part. Over the past few months, I have chosen some books because they were short and I needed to catch up to a goal that I made for myself that no one even sees unless they follow me on Good Reads. Those were enjoyable enough, but my heart wasn't in them. The books that I feel inspired to read have brought me joy and made me really think about how I can incorporate the lessons learned into my life. What can I say, the more I read nonfiction, the more inspired I am to make changes here and there. 

In case you are wondering, I do read fiction as well. Most of those books I read on my Kindle because It is less distracting for Chad when he is trying to sleep. This year, most of those books have been books either Chad or I acquired through the years in one way or another that I haven't read yet. I found a new author that I really like this way: Lucinda Berry. There is a good possibility I will go back to the series I was reading last year because I really like it and want to finish it and find the other series by Nancy Warren, but now I know I can look for a book by Lucinda Berry along with a few others that I liked in the past if I need a break from witches and vampires. 

My reading likes and dislikes my change as I go, but one thing remains the same: I will not stop reading as long as I have the ability to do so. 

You Learn by Living - Book Review

 

I recently finished You Learn by Living by Eleanor Roosevelt. This was such an amazing book! I talked to my sister and husband about it every chance I got. This book is full of practical advise on how to improve your life mixed with stories from her own life. As I read it, I was amazed at how much a book originally published in 1960 (only about 2 years before Eleanor Roosevelt died) was still applicable today. There were a few things mentioned that reminded me how far we have come in certain things, and I couldn't relate to things that she enjoyed because of her wealth and station in life. However, I didn't let that take away from the amazing messages of wisdom that poured out from the pages. 

Here are a few quotes I particularly liked:

Today, learning and living must go hand in hand. Each new bit of knowledge, each new experience is an extra tool in meeting new problems and working them out. It takes everything we can acquire to help us understand the new situations, new problems that are arising on all sides. (page 17)

 A mature person is one who does not think in only absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with circumstances of life, knowing that in this world all of us need both love and charity. (page 63)

I think one of the basic things to recognize is that the only valuable development is the development of an individual. If you try to change that individual so that he loses his personality, you have done something that he loses his personality, you have done something that has destroyed the most important thing about the human being, his essential difference from anybody else. (page 69)

If it is essential, though difficult, to learn how to deal with various kinds of people in one's own environment, it is equally essential, and much more difficult, to learn how to deal with various kinds of people from a totally different environment, people of many races and cultures, people whose customs and patterns of thought are altogether unlike our own. At this moment, it is quite possible that the future of the world and of life on this planet depends on our ability to mast the technique of getting along with the many different peoples who inhabit this globe. (page 143)

The last quote I listed is my absolute favorite from this book! It ignites in me a spark I haven't felt for a long time. This book makes me want to get out and meet more people and do something in my community that will make a real difference. I think that this is what I am here on this earth to do.  

 

Need to Make a Change

 

I went to the temple yesterday and took a picture as I was leaving to post on social media, but I didn't post. There were two problems with this picture. First, the wind was so strong that I made a goofy face that slightly resembled a smile. I hate when I do that, but that alone wouldn't have stopped me from posting. The second problem, the one that made me think twice, was I looked so fat. I know I have gained a lot of weight since I started working from home, but I didn't realize how much it showed in my face. I need to make a change. I want to be confident enough to post a picture leaving the temple no matter what the wind make my face do. I don't know exactly what I will be doing yet, but I know I can't keep going in this direction with my health. 

How has personal revelation drawn you closer to the Savior and to others?

(Talk given in church October 26, 2025)

As I think about this question, the one thing that comes to mind is that revelation is kind of a cyclical thing. As we grow closer to the Savior, we are more apt to be in tune with the revelations we are being given, and as we listen to and follow revelations, we continue to grow in this relationship. In my life, I have waxed and waned in my faith, but one thing has always remained true: when I have made the effort to reach out to my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, I have been given peace and direction when needed. In the scriptures, we are told more than once, “Ask, and it shall be given unto you…” In fact, when I searched this exact phrase in the Church Library app, I found it in the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine and Covenants. I have found comfort in knowing that my Heavenly Father loves me so much that He is willing to help me as needed and as He sees fit, and all I have to do is ask. In his conference talk, Hear Him, President Nelson said, “...when we seek to hear - truly hear - His son, we will be guided to know what to do in any circumstance.” I may not always understand why I am being led in a specific direction, but I have been blessed when I have depended on the personal revelation I have been given. 

When my daughter, the youngest of three children, was a baby, I felt the need to further my education, but I thought that sending my husband at the time to school was more importan since he was the breadwinner. A little over a year later, I sat in a General Relief Society meeting at the Denver North Stake Center (I even remember where I was sitting) and felt this prompting stronger than I ever had as I listened to President Monson speak. His talk, “Three Goals to Guide You,” spoke to my soul in a way no other talk has before or since. The words that penetrated my heart were, “Often the future is unknown; therefore, it behooves us to prepare for uncertainties…I urge you to pursue your education…that you might be prepared to provide if circumstances necessitate.” I was denied the opportunity at the time, but a few years later, as I was facing divorce,  I signed up for online classes and eventually earned an associates degree. That degree eventually led me to a job that better suited my family’s needs and allowed me to work from home at a time when my teenage daughter needed me the most. There was no way for me as a young mom to know that this sweet little girl, who was almost 2 when I heard President Monson speak that Saturday evening, would need me in the way she did about 14 years later, but I am thankful for this revelation that persisted in me for so long. I am thankful for that degree as well as the bachelors degree I have received since then, and I don’t think I will ever stop learning whether it be formally or informally. 

For me, personal revelation is rarely this obvious, but when I am listening, it is clear. President Nelson said, “...our Heavenly Father communicates simply, quietly, and with stunning plainness that we cannot misunderstand Him.” I have learned that as I am diligent in doing the simple things such reading my scriptures, going to church, attending the temple, and going to the Lord in prayer, I am more in tune with the Holy Ghost and ready to listen to His promptings. In Doctrine and Covenants 64:33, we read, “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.” We are not asked to know everything all at once. We aren’t even asked to believe everything at once. In his book, The Rock of Our Redeemer, Elder Bednar tells us, “Obtaining answers for ourselves is the pursuit of a lifetime.” We are asked to do our best to learn by doing as it says in Doctrine and Covenants 88:118, “...seek ye out the best books words of wisdom; yea, seek learning, even by study and also by faith.” As we seek for spiritual knowledge and grow our testimonies, we grow closer to our Savior and are more open to the personal revelation He sees fit for us to receive. 

About a year and a half ago, I felt prompted to read a book I had heard about but never wanted to read: The Miracle Morning. I am not really a morning person, and I knew that if I tried to follow the habits laid out in this book, I would have to get up even earlier than I already did. However, I ordered the book as I told my husband that it was worth a shot to read about habits other people use to further themselves in life. As I worked my way through each chapter, I found myself getting excited and thinking about how I could implement these habits into my life. I started getting up earlier and quickly decided that for the mediation part of the morning, I would start with prayer. I had been wanting to read my scriptures more regularly, so that was the obvious choice for reading material. As I did these things, my journaling became more meaningful and a regular part of my morning routine as well. As I searched for daily affirmations, I found myself adding scriptures to the list. Visualization has always been difficult for me, but I have found that the more I am focused on the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the more I spend this time thinking of ways to grow closer to Him. This morning routine that I was sure I was not going to fully implement in my life, has blessed it in immeasurable ways. For example, a few months after starting this process, the call went out for temple workers. Chad and I felt strongly that we needed to work in the temple. Through this calling, we have learned more about the covenants and ordinances performed in this sacred place, drawing us closer to the Savior, and I know we, and all who serve in the temple, have grown closer to the people we serve on both sides of the veil. 

One last story I want to tell happened just a few weeks ago. I have a dear friend who I have been friends with since we were pregnant with our oldest children. She has since moved from state to state over the years, and our correspondence has lessened as time has gone by. We, now, mostly send messages through Facebook Messenger here and there. On a random Wednesday, she sent me a message saying, “Hey! God put you in my head. How are you?” We exchanged quick updates about our families and let the conversation go where it needed to go. After a while, it led into a conversation about the influences of angels in our lives. I told her about feeling my mom, grandma, and other ancestors in the temple. Then, she told me of some small miracles that had happened in her life in which she knew it was the influence of God’s angels. She also sent me a conference talk and song about this topic. This may not have been the conversation that either of us expected when she sent that simple message that morning, but it was the conversation that I needed in a year that I have struggled with the death of my mom and brother more than I have in a while. We had not talked in over a year, and there was no way that she knew I needed this talk and song to comfort me. I am thankful that this dear friend listened to the personal revelation she was given that morning to reach out to me. 

President Nelson taught, “As we seek to be disciples of Jesus Christ, our efforts to hear Him need to be ever more intentional. It takes conscious and consistent effort to fill our daily lives with His words, His teachings, and His truths... We…hear Him more clearly as we refine our ability to recognize the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. It has never been more imperative to know how the Spirit speaks to you than right now.” As we strive to learn of Jesus Christ, we become closer to Him which allows us to feel the Holy Ghost more in our lives and receive personal revelation that can bless us and those around us. Elder Bednar said, “To face the future with faith, hope, and power, our lives need to be anchored to the ‘rock of our redeemer’ (Helaman 5:12). We are connected securely to and with Heavenly Father and the Savior as we worthily receive ordinances and enter into covenants, faithfully remember and honor those sacred commitments, and do our best to live in accordance with the covenant conditions we have accepted. And as we accept the invitation to ask, seek, and knock for the spiritual gift of faith in Christ and strive to learn for ourselves eternal truths, we further strengthen our bond to God and the Savior. And it is through that bond that we receive spiritual strength and stability." 

The Lord wants to bless us. He asks us to do so little compared to the blessings we are given. I know as we do the “small and simple things” he has asked of us, we will be blessed with the personal revelation brings us closer to Him and those around us. 

Feeling a Certain Way

I have this Facebook friend who continually brings up the death of anyone he has ever been friends with. I often find this insincere and a bit creepy. Most recently, it was a coworker that he continually said something about it being weird he was not going to get a call or text from anymore. About a week later, he said something about a falling out they had a while back. To me, it made all of his previous posts about this person seem ingenuine. I am hoping this post doesn't feel that way.

This week, the husband of a former friend announced that his wife, who had been battling cancer for a little over a year was entering into hospice. This made me sad. I know she is a good person with a good heart. I don't know if I am sad that she specifically is dying or if I am sad that a good person is only a year younger than me is dying of cancer, leaving her husband and kids behind. All I know is that I am sad, and I find myself wanting to do something for her sister that lived in my town. 

Honestly, I haven't seen this couple since at least 2009. It wasn't that we had a falling out. We each moved, and the mutual friend that we hung out with moved to a different state. I am sad that her loved ones have to face a future without her knowing that there was little chance that the person who taught me to crochet would have been in my life again either way. I hope that doesn't make me a hypocrite.

Being Useful

Lately, I have been reading You Learn by Living by Eleanor Roosevelt. I've learned a lot! I love this book. For people who question how much you could learn from a book like this that was published in 1960, I challenge you to read it and find for yourself how much it is still relevant today. 

Yesterday, I read a chapter about being useful. In this chapter, she points out that we cannot have true happiness by sitting around waiting for other people to do everything for us. When we get out into the community and do things for other people, it can bring us happiness. This chapter starts with her saying, "Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product. Paradoxically, the one sure way to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively. After a short time, a very short time, there would be little that one really enjoyed. For what keeps our interest in life and makes us look forward to tomorrow is giving pleasure to other people...Usefulness, whatever form it may take, is the price we should pay for the air we breathe and the food we eat at the privilege of being alive. And it is its own reward, as well, for itis the beginning of happiness, just as self-pity and withdrawal from the battle are the beginning of misery." She gives examples over being useful (giving service) throughout this chapter. She speaks of helping less privileged boys who needed someone to love and believe in them. She also talks about teaching our children to participate in family responsibilities and in the community. This coincides with the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in which we are taught to serve our neighbor. 

In Mosiah chapter 2 in the Book of Mormon, King Benjamin teaches the Nephites the importance of service. He explains to them that not only is he asking them to serve each other, he does it himself. In verse 12, he says, "I say unto you that as I have suffered to spend my days in your service, even up to this time, and have not sought gold nor silver nor any manner of riches of you." Then, he goes on in verses 16 and 17 to say, "Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God. And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." He is teaching us that no one is above serving; not even the king. This a commandment of the Lord; not a commandment of men. 

I love learning from people who have really lived life. Eleanor Roosevelt was a wise woman who we can still learn from if we take the time to do so. The Book of Mormon, as well as other books of scripture, are filled with examples of people we can look up to and follow their examples. The more I read good book filled with wisdom, the better person I want to be. For now, I am going to look for ways to be useful by serving those around me. 

Mom and Sean Day 2025

 I made a tradition of having a day with just the birthday kid around the time I married Chad because I knew that at least one of them was having a hard time with all of the changes over the previous year. it actually started with me taking Eric with me to court for an expired license plate ticket. I called him out of school and told him he could spend the day with me. It was a simple thing that meant a lot to him. When Sean's birthday came around 8 months later, he wanted a day with me, too. I have made a point to spend a time with them for their birthdays ever since. Now, we get to do something more, and they each get to pick what we do. I am glad that they still enjoy this. 

This year, I was unable to talk off work for Sean's birthday because work was crazy in September, so we made the plan to do something the first weekend I was free. I told him to choose what we would do, as usual. At first, he said he would look to see what movies were showing. There was nothing (not too surprising). Then, he came to me asking if we could go to the escape room nearby. I booked us an appointment for this past Saturday for the room with a dragon theme. 

We had so much fun! Some of the puzzles were harder than others, but we worked together as a team and finished with 9 seconds remaining. 

Then, we went to McDonalds, as we always do for our day together. Overall, it was an enjoyable morning/afternoon. I hope he knows how much he is loved. 

Sean's Birthday

 

Sean is officially 22! We celebrated on his birthday by going to Village Inn just as we have done every year since he turned 9. He used to get funny face pancakes. Now, he gets a chocolate pancake breakfast (a bigger version of the same thing, basically). Then, we went back to the house for chocolate cake, a game of UNO, and have him open presents. I hope he had a good birthday. I'm just going to try to come to terms with the fact that he is already 22. 

Grand Junction Weekend

On September 20, Chad and I took a trip to Grand Junction for the weekend with the plan to do two main things: go to the temple open house and see some waterfalls. 

On the way up, we stopped at Rifle Falls and hiked around to see the water falls and caves. It was beautiful! We loved it so much that we decided we will go camping up there next year. 

Next, we headed to the Grand Junction Temple open house. This temple did not disappoint. It was filled with decor based on a desert flower known in that area (I don't know what it was called). It was slightly bigger than the Fort Collins temple (our home temple) but smaller than the Denver Temple (the temple we grew up going to). Going to this open house made the trip completely worth the drive across the state!

Then, we went to our Air B&B, walked around the area to take in the scenery and get food. The following morning, we went to church before heading home. The ward we attended was small but had the nicest people I have met in a long time. We waited until about 5 minutes before sacrament meeting started and sat in the back hoping that we didn't draw attention to ourselves. At least 10 people walked up to us and introduced themselves and welcomed us. I have never had this experience, but it was nice. I hope that more people have this kind of experience when they attend any church. 

Searching for Peace

There is no way to ignore what is going on in this country.  People are hurting and angry and want someone to blame. In doing so, they blame people who are non the opposite end of the political spectrum. They do this with so much hate that they don't seem to care who they trample in their path to prove their point. In reality, all this does is create more anger and more hate on both sides. Sometimes, I wish they would sit down together and actually listen without cameras or the goal of proving their own point. I think they would see what the rest of us see if they did this. They are two sides of the same coin. 

This morning I woke up and opened Facebook before starting my day. (This always seems to cause more harm than good.) The first thing I see is someone's "fill Facebook with..." post which of course spewed hate in one direction. As I scrolled down, I see something just as bad spewed in the opposite direction. Both memes hurt my heart. I know there is nothing I could do or say they would change their minds. 

Then, I went to do my Miracle Morning as I should have done before opening anything on my phone. For the meditation part of it I prayed as I always do. This time I prayed for the comfort I needed from the hurt I have been feeling that has been growing over the past however many months or years. Then, I sat I silence and opened my scriptures to 2 Nephi 32. This short chapter gave me direction starting in verse 3. "...feast upon the words of Christ; behold the words of Christ will tell you all things what you should do." This tells me I need to change my focus away from the world and towards Jesus Christ, my rock and redeemer. Then in verse 9, we are told, "But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint..." This tells me that I need to pray more often. I am so thankful that this chapter happened to be the next chapter I was going to read!

As I took my short, morning walk, I thought about this chapter and considered what I need to change to draw closer to the Lord so I can feel His peace. I will be off of Facebook for at least a week, maybe longer. I will not be on TikTok longer than needed to continue my streak with my daughter. (I know it is silly to make that streak important, but it's just something to share with her.) I will watch conference talks in the morning. When Chad get home from work tonight, I will ask for a blessing to calm my mind. I hope that by doing these things, I will be able to heal my mind, body, and spirit. It at least won't make it worse. 

Deep(ish) Thoughts

Last Friday, Noel and I went to see Hamilton in the theater. We both loved it, but it made me think. Do I stand up for my beliefs or do I stay quiet while grinning and bearing the world around me? I was worried about this for a few days and eventually asked my husband if I was the kind of person who didn't stand for anything. He said that I stand for things when they matter to me. 

I have strong opinions about things. Most of the time I don't share them online because when I did in the past, the comments from both sides towards me were brutal. I share some religious quotes here and there, but mostly I just share pictures of my family and other things I do to keep the memories. Do the religious quotes count as standing for something? I believe it does. 

I believe that love is the answer to many of the problems in the world. I don't like the political world in this country because it is filled with hate. One side hates the other because they think and believe differently. Then one of the leaders from the opposite party is killed. (At least that is what this year has been like so far.) I have been saying that the two-party system is corrupt for many years. I even voted for a third-party choice that I hoped could at least rock the boat in 2016. I believe that if the higher-ups in each party were to show a little kindness and love towards people with different beliefs and strongholds, there could be less blood and carnage in the world. 

Melissa Hortman was a democratic leader in Minnesota and killed for that reason. I don't know much about her politics. I only know what party she belonged to. From my understanding that was the only reason she was killed in her home. I also know that she was a mother. When someone decided to execute her, they took a mother and father (her husband was also killed), they took parents from these children. I don't know how old they were, but it doesn't matter. There was not a good reason for this. 

Charlie Kirk was a conservative activist that was shot this week because someone hated what he stood for. I only know a little of his public opinion and don't necessarily agree with everything I have heard. However, he was also a parent. Unlike Melissa Hortman, he was not hunted down in his home. He was shot at a public event on a college campus by someone who was too much of a coward to even look him in the eye. Just like Melissa Hortman, Charlie Kirk leaves behind children who now have to live without a parent. 

There have also been school shootings. A few weeks ago, children were killed while at a church service in their Catholic school. Some were killed. Many were injured. Why? Hate. The same day Charlie Kirk was killed, there was a shooting at a school. This one was in my home state, Colorado. Two kids other than the shooter were injured, and the shooter killed himself. What was his reason? Hate. 

We have a president that promised revenge against those who voted against him, and he is doing it. He holds federal funds, fires federal employees, sends the National Guard into cities, and often bashes the opposing party when speaking about anything. He seethes hate almost every time he speaks or posts online. 

Recently, a governor from the other party has taken to acting like the president with the cheers of his party as he does so. This is not the answer. Weren't we all raised being told, "Two wrongs don't make a right?" If he had a different message, I may lean more towards this party. Instead, it just proved my theory that these parties are two sides of the same coin. 

In contrast to the hate being spewed all around us, President Nelson had an op-ed published in Time magazine ahead of his 101st birthday calling for peace and dignity to be offered to everyone. In it he said, "Love your neighbor and treat them with compassion and respect...anger never persuades, hostility never heals, and contention never leads to lasting solutions...Imagine how different our world could be if more of us were peacemakers - building bridges of understanding rather than walls of prejudice - especially with those who may see the world differently than we do...There is power in affording others the human dignity that all of God's children deserve."

Last winter, I read a book by Steve Young called The Law of Love. This book made me feel more than any other book I have read. It made me look at people differently in a good way. I can feel the difference in how I view other people's actions. I have also noticed that I feel more deeply about how other people treat each other and want to find a way to spread love and joy even more than I did in the past. I honestly think that if more people were to read this book filled with quotes and examples of love and take the lessons to heart, the world would be a better place. 

I believe that everyone has some good in them even if I disagree with their public persona. I may not always be able to see it, but it is there somewhere. When we try to get along with them and show them love, we are often shown that softer side. I do have my boundaries and will not allow certain people in my life for the most part, but I am open to that changing if their behavior towards me/my family changes. (I have learned I need to protect my peace, too.)

I don't share these opinions very often out of fear, but I think it is time to do so. I am afraid of backlash, but I don't even know who will read this. I am not going to share it on social media because I know that I will make people I care about mad and will receive backlash. If someone cares enough to ask my opinion, I will share it. Thankfully, those who have actually taken the time to get to know me know this is who I am. I believe in love and acceptance no matter what you believe, who you love, your race, or anything else that makes you who you are.

September 2025 Bullet Journal

I am going to try to do a monthly bullet journal spread. A lot of people who do bullet journals do this, but I haven't tried it yet. I think it could be fun to have a theme for the month and just keep that theme going if I decide to add to it. For now, I have my main September page that I modified from an idea I found on Pinterest. I had fun making a fall theme because I am excited to be going to see the fall colors later this month. I took a picture of the main page before I filled in the boxes because I don't want to broadcast my weight or family birthdays. 

I really want to get back into doing regular exercise. For the last few weeks, I had a goal of 30 or 45 minutes a day, but I wasn't keeping up with it very well. I am hoping having a dedicated tracker will help keep me focused.

With the goal of reading 15 books this year and still needing to finish 6 books to make this happen, I made a page to track the book I just started. I am quite proud of how this one turned out. I didn't copy it from any specific idea that I had seen online, but I may have seen something like it in the past. Either way, I like how it turned out.

The last one I did was inspired by the potty-training charts I used to make for the boys many years ago. I just labeled the page and will put stickers on it anytime I eat a fruit or vegetable. 

I will likely add to this as the month goes on depending on my goals. I'm sure there will be at least one more book to track before the month is over. There could also be one to track my progress in finding a job that I can do with my degree because I don't know how much longer I can stand working in billing. 

Memories of Uncle Barney

My Uncle Barney passed away this week. He was one of my favorite uncles growing up. I have so many fond memories of him. He was the fun uncle that we liked to play with. 

My Uncle Barney was in a wheelchair because of on illness from his childhood. Back then, they didn't understand that when someone was bedridden, it was important to try to move their arms and legs to prevent atrophy. The thing is, when we were little, we didn't think about it. He was just the fun uncle that would give us rides in his chair. We could climb up on his lap, and he would wheel us around and pop wheelies. We thought it was the best thing ever. It wasn't until we learned about people with disablities in second grade that I really thought about him being different. 

Uncle Barney was a professor at the University of Alabama. I looked up to him for this reason and always thought of him as the smartest person I knew. Reading is obituary, I learned that he almost didn't become a teacher. After earning his bachelor's and master's degrees, he had wanted to stay at the University of Illinois to be a mentor for the disabled, but his professors encouraged him to do more. He went on to be a CPA before deciding to get his PHD in accounting and becoming a professor. He still advocated for the disabled, though. He even learned woodworking so he could make his own wheelchair ramps when needed. 

I haven't been able to see him much in adulthood other than for funerals because traveling to Alabama just hasn't been in the budget. I regret not making it a greater priority. I will miss Uncle Barney. 

Colonoscopy

About a week ago, I had my first colonoscopy. I was warned by the doctor's office and my sister warned me that the prep was torture. Honestly, it wasn't too bad until the day before the procedure. I won't get too graphic. I'll just say that I was very dehydrated and exhausted by the time I checked in. (I opted for the first appointment in the morning which meant I had to get up at 1am to finish my prep.) The actual procedure wasn't too bad because I was sedated and woken up in recovery with my husband by my side. 

I had one polyp. They removed it and sent it off to determine if it was cancerous or not. It was found to be not cancerous. I was originally told I wouldn't have to repeat the procedure for 10 years, but they called today and said they would actually like me back in 5 years because of where it was located. That's a bit worrisome for someone with a family line riddled with cancer, but I will listen to them and put myself through that torture in 5 years again. 

My mom had lymphoma. Her mom died of pancreatic cancer. My dad's mom died from the effects of many years of cancer treatments. At least one of my great-grandparents died of cancer. A former friend that I lost touch with announced on Facebook earlier this year that she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. I understand the importance of cancer screenings and will have as many done as are recommended for the foreseeable future. As scary as it can be to have to go back in for further testing (like I had to last year with my mammogram), this is an important part of creating a healthy life. 

Goals for this Week

 

During my internship, I threw a lot of my daily habits out the window because it was exhausting to essentially be working two jobs along with everything else that was going on. For the last few weeks, I have been trying to get back into doing the things that make my life better. It's a lot harder to get back to them than I thought it was. I decided the best thing to do would be to make a bullet journal spread to track my progress. It worked great when I was getting started on the Mirical Morning last year, so I figured it would be the best way to jump back into it and the other habits I have been working on. I am excited to get started on Monday!

Church this Week

 I absolutely loved church services this week. It started with Relief Society. We discussed the talk Draw Near unto Me by President Henry B. Eyring. I love this talk. In it, he talks about how we can draw closer to Christ. It goes along with Doctrine and Covenants 88:63:

"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you: seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

I love this verse! Even when I struggled with my testimony, I believed in the power of prayer. Whenever I struggle spiritually, mentally, physically, etc., I know I can turn to prayer. I know that my Heavenly Father is always there for me and listens to my prayer. I have gone through enough difficulties in my life that I know He will not always pull us out of them immediately. We have to trust His timing. I can't say my life is perfect, but I can it is better than it was in the past.

Another way that I draw closer to my Savior is reading my scriptures. I have struggled with this in the past. At a particularly hard time in my life,  I sat in my stake president's office and told him that I struggled with my testimony because I didn't understand why I had to go through another trial. I felt like I had a harder life than anyone else around me. (I have learned since that was not always true.) He asked me what spiritual habits I had. I told him I personally was fasting with a purpose on Fast Sundays, praying and journaling about it daily, and reading the Doctrine and Covenants daily (the scriptures we were studying in Sunday School that year). I explained that I didn't understand how the Doctrine and Covenants applied to me and thought trying to study it was making things worse for my testimony. His simple response was to tell me to stop reading it. He didn't judge me for my struggle, he plainly gave me practical advise that would help. Since then, I have grown to love the scriptures, all of them. We are studying the Doctrine and Covenants again this year in Sunday School. I read through it by the middle of the year for the first time, and I could feel the Spirit as I did so. As I have progressed in the gospel, I have learned to love my time spent studying the word of God. 

I have also learned to love my service in the temple. I liked the temple when I was younger, but when I stopped going, I was more worried what other people would think of me not going than what I was missing out on because I didn't really understand what I was doing. I memorized what I needed to as an ordinance worker, but I didn't know why it was important. I am at a different place spiritually. I love the changes that have been made that make the ordinances more clear. I love going with my husband. He has become such a spiritual person and makes me want to continue to grow. The more we go to the temple together, the more I want to be there. One of the best decisions we made on our recent trip was to go to a temple at each stop. I hope to be able to do that on more trips. 

I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am thankful that He made a way for us to return to Him and our Father in Heaven. The way to learn of Him and return to Him is simple and hard at the same time. When we are willing to take the time and put forth the effort to learn of Him and draw nearer to Him, we receive blessings. I am thankful that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me so much that He sent His son as a sacrifice for my sins. It was pointed out in Sacrament Meeting that Christ was part mortal, so he truely felt the pains and sorrows of mortality. When we reach out to Him in prayer, we can know that we are not alone. We can be lifted up by Him and through Him. I love my Savior!

She Scared Us

 

A couple of nights ago, Aqua scared us a bit. It was a hot day. Even with the widow air conditioners and the swamp cooler going, the house was warmer than I would have liked. Chad and I took Sophie for a walk as part of our daily exercise. When we returned, he decided to take the other dogs around the block. A little while after he got back with Aqua, she came into our room panting heavily, drooling, and whimpering. We thought maybe she got hurt on the walk. She has had issues with her paws on the back porch in the past. He took her after dark, but we didn't think of checking the temperature of the sidewalk especially since the other dogs didn't have a problem. As we observed her more closely on the bed, we realized she was overheating. I sent the kids to get the frozen meatballs (we keep them on hand in the summer to help the dogs keep cool). She seemed too disoriented to even know we were holding it in front of her. Then, we all got more scared. I laid next to her on the bed to try to keep her calm. Sean and Noel turned on the shower, and Chad tried to lead Aqua to the bathroom. She wouldn't budge and seemed to be getting worse. Then, he grabbed a towel, through it across the room to the kids, and told them to bring him a cold towel. Sean came back with a cold, wet towel and tried to cool down her paws knowing it is center for temperature regulation for dogs. When that wasn't working fast enough, Noel soaked the towel even more and draped it over her head and neck. Her breathing started to clow quickly and the drooling dissipated almost right away. A few minutes later, Chad went back to the kitchen to get the meatballs. When Aqua heard the freezer open, she shook off the towel and ran to him. Our girl was better! 

I don't know how to prevent this completely in the future. I will be giving the dogs meatballs periodically the rest of the summer when it is close to 100F. Chad will wait until later to take her for walks knowing she is more sensitive to the heat than the other dogs. If she starts acting disoriented, we will get her in a cold shower before she starts whimpering. Hopefully, these things will help her. (For anyone wondering, the water was full of cool water, and she drank some of it after the meatball.)

Graduation Trip - Third Leg

 On Friday, Chad and I headed on our way to Provo to visit with my parents after doing an endowment session at the Rexburg temple. I wish I had remembered to take pictures at this temple. I loved it there! Going to Provo from Rexburg was our shortest drive (about 4.5 hours). This stop was also the most relaxing of all of the stops. We mostly stayed at the house hanging out with my dad and stepmom. The first night, I just laid on the bed exhausted for an hour or two waiting for a migraine to subside. Then, I got to talk to my dad for a few hours before going to bed. 

The next morning, my dad made us breakfast before we headed to the Provo City Center Temple to do another session with my dad this time. I love this temple. It is so unique because it was a historical building that had fire damage. There are elements of this building that are original to the building making it one of the most beautiful buildings I have had the pleasure to be in. 

Later, Chad and I finally had ice cream at the BYU Creamery. It was ok. Ice cream is always good, if you get the right flavor. I just didn't understand the hype. Now, I know it is just like any other ice cream place, so I don't have to keep wondering.

We left to go home on Sunday and stopped to see my dear friend at her new house on the way. We finally arrived home around 6:30pm, just in time for dinner. 

I am so thankful that I was able to make this trip! It was a long trip. The stops were further apart than I would have wished them to be, but I don't regret doing it. It was a good way to celebrate me receiving my Bachelor's degree. 

Graduation Trip - Second Leg - Day 2

Thursday was graduation day! Upon arriving at campus, I put on my cap and gown and found the perfect spot to take pictures: the chapel. 

The next step was graduation! I got to have my name called as I walked across the stage. It was such a surreal experience. I had worked on this goal for almost 10 years. I couldn't believe I was finally on stage getting my degree. As my name was called and I shook hands with various professors, tears welled up in my eyes. I deserved this. I officially have documented proof that I am smart!

After graduation, we took pictures and went to lunch before Marleah and her kids made their way home, and Chad and I headed back to the hotel room to rest a bit and plan the rest of the day. 

Later in the day, Chad and I went to Bear World. We heard of Bear World from my sister's co-worker. Originally, we were supposed to go with her family, but it was too pricey for them. It sounded like fun, so we went before dinner. Bear World is a sanctuary of sorts in which we drove a windy path at 5mph and watched the bears sleep and play. It took about 5 or 10 minutes to driver through. When we were done, we went to the petting zoo and gift shop (we are suckers gift shops). Overall, I would say that it was fun, but it was not worth the price. If it had been about $30 per car, it would have been totally worth it but charging that much per person was a bit of a rip off. I'm glad we didn't have anyone else with us, making it cost even more. 

Graduation Trip -Second Leg- Day 1

 Our next stop was in Rexburg, Idaho, which is a small town that really only has BYU-Idaho and a few other things in it. We stayed in a hotel just on the other side of the highway from the town. It was nice, simple, small town. 

The main thing in Rexburg is the university. That was ok because the main reason for our visit was to visit the BYUI for graduation activities. On Wednesday, we started the day going to the school to pick up my cap, gown, and sash as well as verify my address. This was my first time on campus. I was so excited to see it and walk around the campus!

After leaving, we went to a place that I have heard of many times and wanted to see what all of the hype was about: Swig. We don't have places like this really other than a coffee place that sells dirty sodas. I ordered a Cherry Bomb which was a Pepsi with coconut water and cherry syrup. It was ok, but I was a bit disappointed. For something called "Cherry Bomb," it tasted nothing like cherry. There was so much coconut in the soda that it was all I could taste. I'll go back to Ziggy's any day before I go back. I guess it would have been wonderful had I wanted something specifically coconut flavored. 

Around lunch time my sister and her kids arrived in Rexburg, and we went for pizza. Then we went to the Legacy Flight Museum.

We were there for about an hour before heading back to the hotel to nap before dinner. We had a quick dinner at Applebee's before going to Grad night in which the president and his wife spoke to us and answered questions. At the end, we were able to get a picture with them. As we walked out, Chad got a big cinnamon roll that was almost as big as his head! Then, we headed back to the hotel. I dropped him off and picked up Marleah to have dessert and one on one sister time. 

Marleah and I went to Chocolate Plunge, a cute little dessert shop in which you can order a variety of things dipped in chocolate and covered in things such as nuts and drizzled with sauces like caramel or marshmallow. I had a soft serve ice cream cone, dipped in chocolate, rolled in peanuts, and drizzled in caramel. It was very good! Unfortunately, it was so big that I had to throw some of it away. Marleah had cheesecake dipped in chocolate. I'm not sure what else she had on it. We agreed that we wished there was something like this in each of our towns. When we were done, we went back to the hotel and agreed on what time we would meet for breakfast in the morning. 

Graduation Trip - First Leg

This week, Chad and I are doing a trip for my graduation in which we are going to St. George, Utah, to visit his mom and uncle for the dirty part. Then, we will head to Rexburg, Idaho, for my graduation and to see my sister and her kids. Lastly, we will go down to Provo, Utah, to visit my parents and see my stepsister before heading home and stopping to see one of my favorite people. 

St. George is a bit different than I had imagined. I thought it would be a lot more open with less people. However, it is beautiful! We drove in Sunday night, arriving around 8pm at Chad's uncle's house. That night we got settled, had a bit of ice cream, and went to bed. Monday morning, we did the tourist thing and walked around the St. George temple grounds. 

Then, we went to see Chad's mom at her apartment. She took us on a tour of the community, introduced us to her friends, took us shopping for my birthday, took us swimming in the fitness center, and took us out to eat. It was a full day, and we were ready to go to bed early. This morning, we went to the Red Cliffs temple with Chad's, aunt, uncle, and mom to do sealings. 

Then, we went on our way to head up to Rexburg, taking a detour to a ghost town about an hour away which was totally worth the time it took to get there and walk around.