The More I Learn

After telling a friend about my faith journey, I was told about the Come Back Podcast. In this podcast, a lady who left the Church in the past and came back after fighting some serious demons interviews others who left and came back for various reasons. I have watched at least one episode a day for several days. There are people who left because they felt their studies showed things contrary to what they had been taught through their lives, people who got involved in drugs and alcohol, a guy who had joined a gang, and more. Each person has their own personal story of coming back, but the common thread is that came back because it is true and it makes the most sense. 

I have my own "come back" story. There was a time when I was making decisions that I came to regret. There was a time that I told myself I was only going to church because it was good for my kids. There was a time that I could never see myself going back to the temple, reading (listing to) scriptures daily, or holding a calling. The thing is that I never lost my testimony of prayer, but I had lost my testimony in other ways. I just couldn't see why I needed to be different from other people. I couldn't see how it would benefit me. After all, I had tried "doing everything right." I ended up with a dead mom and brother, divorced, and barely able to pay my bills. This was not the life I thought I would have. It was not the life I felt I had been promised. What changed?

I had to come to the realization that my faith and actions do not always determine my wealth (or lack thereof), the life expectancy of my friends and family, or how other people treat my children, my husband, or myself. I do not get to choose how my life is blessed or the trials I face. What I can determine is how I see the world, my testimony of Jesus Christ, and how I serve others. 

The reality is that the more I learn both secularly and spiritually, the more I believe in the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know there are not explanations for everything within the gospel. I also know there not everything can be explained by science or other academic ways. Each science and social science class that I have taken has helped my testimony grow. I know that there are many things science can not explain which takes me to the conclusion that there is a God that knows all who created the earth and everything in it. 

I will not debate with someone who is only looking to put me down or argue, but I will have a conversation about my beliefs with anyone who is willing to do so in a respectful way. I have done so many times and will continue to do so. The more I learn, the more I want to share.