Me Reading

 

I used to hate reading. I wanted to like reading, but I just didn’t. I was a slow reader, and I always had to read books that were boring. Were there books that I liked? Yes. I loved Judy Blume books, 1984 (I know I’m one of the few), and a few others here and there, but I didn’t have the time to read these books very often because there was so much that I HAD to read for school. Therefore, I saw reading as something I had to do. 

In my early 20s, I finally was able to discover the joy of reading whatever I wanted to read without a deadline. I rode the express bus to work and wanted something to do while riding. (This was in the late 1990s, so I didn’t have a cellphone/smartphone to play games.) The person I was married to at the time suggested that I read and even had a few books that he thought I would like, so I tried it. Guess what? I like it! For the rest of our marriage, he often bought me books. 

Now, I find myself with reading mostly nonfiction with a bit of fiction sprinkled in. I am grateful to the person who help me find the joy of reading. I thankful that Chad indulges me in this hobby even when it means that I have a stack of books next to my bed waiting to be read. Mostly, I’m so thankful for the authors that write in a way that draw me in and keep me reading  

Miracle Morning Ready?

I have decided that I want to work on the Level 10 Life again. I tried and blogged about it in the past, but I stopped doing it when I struggled with keeping the bullet journals going for a while. I have realized that I have let a lot of things in my life slip and missed my goals because of this, and I need goals to feel like I am moving forward in life. 

To get ready, I found a bullet journal I bought a few months ago that had been barely used and pulled up Pinterest to remind me how it was done. As I as reading through the articles I found, I was reminded that the Level 10 Life came from Hal Elrod's book, The Miracle Morning, so I bought the book. While I read it, I will do as the blog posts I found on Pinterest suggest. My hope is that I will get back on track in the various things in my life I feel are lacking and better my mental health. 

BOLDERBoulder 2024

 Yesterday, Chad and I did the BOLDERBoulder (an 10K race), again. We have been doing it since 2018 with only 2020 and 2021 looking a bit different. Last year, we were both under trained. This year, I was far worse off than him but better than last year. I am using this race as the kick off to the marathon we are doing in October. 

This was the first time we have ran completely separate, and I think I actually liked it that way. I love doing these kind of events with Chad, but I think I pushed myself harder than I would have otherwise knowing he would be waiting for me at the finish line. I was also able to take progress pictures along the way without worrying about how it would affect his times. 

We started off excited and ready to go:

He left me behind right away as we had discussed in advance. When I got to the first mile, I was still feeling pretty good:

Then, it started getting hot, and there was no cloud coverage. I was feeling the heat by mile 2:

By the third mile, I had drank some water and Gatorade and was feeling a bit better. I was also excited to have basically be at the halfway point:

Getting to mile 4 was a bit of a struggle. There was a lot of uphill running and the Gatorade was not doing well in my stomach. I was happy to pass another mile, though:

The next mile was the hardest. I didn’t eat enough before the race, and it was starting to affect me. I had also had Gatorade twice by this point. This meant my stomach was upset and I was getting light headed. For the first time in the course, I felt like giving up. I was sure Chad was done and almost called him to help thinking I was going to pass out. Then, a nice, cool breeze hit me and I saw the 5 mile marker:

That gave me enough umph to finish. I still had to walk most of the remaining course, but I knew I could finish. All I had left was 1.2 miles. At the 6 mile mark, I could almost see the stadium and knew Chad would be there waiting for me:

Finally, I got to the stadium and was ready to do the run around the track. To my surprise and delight, Chad was in the stands in front hanging over the wall looking for me as I entered. He cheered me on as I gave him a high five and finished:

Was this my best time? No. Was it a good finishing time? Also, no. I had fun, though. I will continue to do this race until I can’t anymore. I love it that much. Next up is a 5k at the end of June. Then, the marathon in October. Wish me luck!

Replacing Grass

I have wanted to replace the grass in the front yard with xeriscaping for a while. In 2020, I started the process of killing grass which in hindsight was dumb because it just left more space for the weeds to grow. last year, we bought weed barrier and a small amount of rocks thinking that we could get rid of the weeds and grass and slowly buy enough rocks to fill in the areas where we didn't want plants. This idea didn't get very far because rocks are expensive and we got distracted by other things. This spring, as Chad and I talked about homesteading, we considered the state of the front yard again and knew things had to change. 

We are working on gardening in spots in the front yard (the garden boxes next to the driveway, the former flower garden in front of the front porch, the corner by gate, etc.). However, we still need to beautify the rest of it. (Thankfully, I have a small front yard.) A few months ago, there was a link in the town newsletter for xeriscaping plants to replace grass and lower water needs. I looked through the options and found one that covered a decent space that we could afford. Chad agreed that this was a good idea and aligned with our plans. I ordered a package that was created to attract butterflies and should cover about 60 square feet when full grown. They were ready for pick up last week and have been sitting in my house since Noel and I got them. 

Yesterday, I had a grad plan of clearing enough of the yard to plant the flowers and grasses, put down a weed barrier, and plant everything before we had to leave for Noel's graduation. This was a foolish plan. The weeds have taken over the front yard and have big roots. Chad and I worked for a few hours on it. We were able to clear it for the most part after marking off the area. This morning, I finished pulling the weeds, mixed in some gardening soil, and placed the weed barrier. Then, I pulled out the planting guide they provided and a measuring tape and carefully planned out where each plant would go. I was able to get about half the plants planted before it got too hot. After dinner, I planted the rest. Tomorrow, I will spread out the mulch. Next week, I will place some stepping stones around it to finish it off. I am excited to see this plan come to fruition. 

My plan is to continue doing this each year until the grass is completely replaced with each section separated with stepping stones to make it easier to pull weeds and water when needed. I can't wait to see what it looks like when I'm done creating my dream!

She Did It!

 

My baby girl graduated high school today. I am so proud of her! She had to overcome a lot of challenges to get to this point, and I had the privilege of watching her every step of the way. She had to work extra hard this last year, and she stepped up and accomplished more than I would have been able to in that time period. I could gush over her for days. She is just that amazing! 

Happy graduation day, Princess! I know you will accomplish all of your dreams. 

Not Bad

 

Dr. Pepper has a new, limited edition flavor: creamy coconut. I love Dr. Pepper and the flavors they have come out with haven’t been too bad (Coke should take notes). I made one mention to my husband, and he picked up a 12 pack last time his went grocery shopping. 

Yesterday, I had my first can. It isn’t too bad. It’s actually just like one might imagine it would be. It tastes like coconut waster and Dr. Pepper. I don’t know if will get it again since we have stopped buying 12 packs of soda, for the most part. However, if I happen to see it at a gas station before they stop selling it, I might grab it. 

Middle School Closing

 

I went to Moore Middle School for half of 7th grade and all of 8th grade. I have some good memories of doing so. The friends I made those years distracted me from the unsettling home life I was face with at the time. Now, it is closing due to low enrollment, and they are making my old high school a jr/sr high. (How weird is that in such a highly populated area?) in a way, it feels like one more part of my childhood dying. It kinda sucks, but I know things like this happen. Eventually, everything I loved as a kid or teenager will be gone. That’s just a fact of life. 

Weed Killer

 

I have been wanting to make weed killer for a while. We have a crazy amount of weed in our yard. Conventional weed killers can get expensive, and we can’t use them in the back yard because of the dogs. I have seen links to make weed killer with vinegar in many places. It appeared to work really well. 

Today, I decided to give it a try. I mixed one gallon of white vinegar with a quarter cup of dish soap and two cups of salt and put some in a spray bottle. After spraying a good sized area in my front yard, I walked away for a few hours. Most of the weeds jut look white from the salt. It’s quite disappointing. I’ll keep trying until it is gone, but this does not look like a viable option right now. 

Mini Bonfire

 

A bout a month or two ago, I decided I wanted to burn the rest of the candles I had in the cupboard rather than buy a new one. I did this in the jar from the last candle I bought. In the process, the jar filled up with everything that didn’t burn off of each candle. Then, I had a jar of wax and no wick, so I grabbed some cotton yarn and tried to make wicks. Unfortunately, the yarn was not strong enough to stand when the wax was liquid, I I just kept cutting more “wicks.” When it got to the bottom, there were a bunch of little pieces of yarn at the bottom. I put them all in a pile and set them on fire. The fire ended up getting to big that I couldn’t easily blow it out and had to get a pan lid from the kitchen to smother it. It probably wasn’t a good idea to play with fire on my desk next to my bed. 

I feel like I need to add something to this story. The picture was taken before it got out of control. However, it was amazing how fast that happened. 

Love

My brother’s girlfriend (is that what I should still be calling her almost 30 years after his death) posted this on Facebook:

We fall in love with 3 people over the course of our lifetime. Each one has a specific reason. Let me explain...

Our First Love usually happens at a young age and we eventually grow distant or call it quits over the dumbest things.

When you get older and more mature you look back and think it was not love. But it actually was.... It was love for what you knew love to be at that point in time.

 You have to always remember there are different depths of love. 

 Now our 2nd Love and this is the hard one....

You get hurt when you fall in love with this person. This one teaches us lessons that we learn from and makes us stronger as a individual. 

This love includes a substantial amount of pain, betrayal, abuse, lies, and emotional damage.

 But believe it or not, this is the one where we grow the most. We realize what we truly know about love and what we don’t know about love.

 So now we put our walls up because we are extremely protective of what the future might hold for us when it comes to relationships. 

And naturally we become closed off, suspicious, very careful and slightly scared. But now we know exactly what we want out of a partner and what we definitely do not want. 

 Our 3rd and final love.

This one comes out of nowhere. No warning. No sign whatsoever. You don’t go looking for this love. It actually finds you. You can put up all the walls in the world, and they will come crashing down just as fast as you built them up in the first place. 

You’ll find yourself caring about that person without even trying. 

They look nothing like your usual type, but you get lost when you look in their eyes. You don't see any flaws. You see flawless imperfections. You find yourself telling them everything about you and what has molded you into the person you are today. 

You want a life with them. You want slow dances in the kitchen, you want walks on the beach under a starry night sky, you want to marry them and have beautiful children that resemble the both of you perfectly.

And every night when you close your eyes before you go to sleep, you catch yourself praying to God and thanking him for the reasons why it has never worked out with anyone else before.

-  Cody Bret

This rings so true to me. My first love was the boy I started dating around Christmas my freshman year of high school. I loved him so much! My mom knew it and encouraged this love. She even said she would sign the papers for me to marry him if I wanted. That scared me, and I started pushing him away. My second love was my ex husband. It was the love that hurt me. The one that made me feel broken. Now, I have my Chad. He is the one I wasn’t looking for, the one I want to spend the rest of eternity with, the one I tell everything to. He is all of my dreams come true. He helped heal a heart he didn’t break and has given me more mentally and spiritually than anyone has ever cared to give me. I could not say enough good things about this man. He is my everything! 

Book Store Haul

For date night, Chad and I decided to go to Barnes and Noble. It’s a bit of a drive, but very worth it to be able to walk amongst the books rather than buying them online. We are both in a self-improvement phase of life, and some our books reflect it. 

My haul:

His haul:

Defining Me

With my baby graduating this month, I am finding myself a bit lost. I need to figure out who I am with all of my kids out of traditional school. I know I still need to mother my children. That will never change, but how I mother them is already changing. As this happens, I am on the hunt to find me again. 

What do I know about myself that I don't want to change?

• I love my family. I will always be willing to help my husband and kids when needed. 
• I am deeply religious. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. I struggled with my faith for a while, but I have gone through too much to waiver in my belief at this point.. 
• I want my bachelor's degree. I am one class and an internship away. I am working with a partner this semester to make sure that I pass my class this time. I will be a college graduate!
• I love to knit. Knitting is my happy place. I have so many good memories around knitting and love how much it has taught me. 
• I am going to keep working towards a homesteading-ish lifestyle. I love making bread, and I am excited to grow a garden and learn to can this year. The idea of having our own bees is growing on me, as well. 

How am I working on myself?

• I am reading a lot. Right now, I am reading The End of Mental Illness by  Daniel G. Amen, MD, and following some of his suggestions by taking certain supplements and adding more exercise to my routine. When I am done with this book, I have another running book to read. 
• I will be running a marathon this year. Chad and I made the goal of doing one the year he turned 50 in 2018. This year came faster than we imagined it would, but we are going to keep this commitment we made with ourselves. That means that I will be running more consistently again. 

Honestly, I don't know what else I am going to do as I find myself. I have been remembering the girl with ambition and drive to succeed, and I miss her. I don't know when she left or where she went, but I want her back. 

50 Years of Pomona

 

My high school had a 50th anniversary carnival today, and I brought Sean along for the fun. There were a bunch of booth seeking things, a few food trucks, a car show, and an open house in the school. It was fun looking at the cars while joking with Sean about some of the more unique designs. I loved walking around the school and showing Sean where I went to school. I ran into some of my good friends and enjoyed catching up with them, as well. We also had ice cream, and I bought a yearbook from my senior year since the dog ate it mine a few years ago. 

I was glad I went and was able to share it with one of my kids. There is something special about doing things like this with the people I love. 

Sesame Bagels

 

A few days ago, I made bagels. The recipe was made with sourdough starter and was very easy to follow, and I’m very happy with how they turned out. 

I remember trying to make bagels very early in my first marriage that turned out so poorly that they basically sat in a container until they molded which only takes a few days since there are no preservatives. I’m not sure what I did wrong back then, but I have a lot more baking experience now. These turned out a lot better. They are even eatable. 

She Was Little

 

As I have said to my friends lately, Noel getting ready to graduate is hitting me a bit different than it did with the boys. I know it is because she is my baby, and I’m not sure I’m ready for this chapter to end. I miss her being so little and innocent. I miss the days of walking her to and from school on my days off. I miss her obsession with pink, sparkly shoes. 

I know this kid will do big things with her life. She is a fighter. She will continue to do everything in her power to  make all of her hopes and dreams come true. 

For now, she is still my baby.