My New Baby

Jasper

Jasper is a full bread Chihuahua. The kids love him.  The best part for me is that he is a little over a year old, so he is young enough to be puppylike, but old enough to be potty trained.

The Boys at Bedtime

My Pretty Girl

I made this dress 2 years ago.  It finally fits!

She loves to have curly hair.

The prettiest little girl ever!

Getting Back on Track

I have made some decisions lately that make me feel like I am getting my life back on track.  I think that if I can get me straightened out, it will make life easier for my kids. These are the decisions I am starting to make:

1. I am going to pay tithing.  I have struggled with this my entire adult life.  I fee like it is something I need to do however.
2. I starting having family home evening with my kids.  I am realizing that they don't remember the basic stories that they learned when they were little.  They seem to not remember how to be reverent during prayer either.  I am also using it as a time to play with the kids and answer questions that they may have (last night was all about them wanting a puppy).
3. I am putting more effort into my job.  I don't want to be there forever, but since I don't have another job in sight, I am trying more and hoping for a promotion or schedule change.
4. I am trying to find more time for alone time with each kid.  They need the attention and are asking for the alone time.  It is the least I can do for them.
5. I am scheduling my personal chores throughout the week so that I make sure everything gets done.  My poor dog doesn't get bathed as much as she should be and I am not good at keeping track of what I have and haven't done.  Most people would probably say that this is simple and easy to do, but I have never been the best at keeping my house the way I really want it.
6. I am going to budget each paycheck and pay attention to my spending.  I have done a lot of listening to Dave Ramsey's pod cast in the last year or so.  I wanted to implement changes in the out goings of money before, but didn't get much cooperation.  I now have no one else to answer to or someone that would have to answer to me.  The more healthy my budget gets, the better I can get the things for my kids that they need like clothes and food.

I am hoping that by making these changes life will get easier for the kids and me.  I am feeling positive about the changes I have already put into place and the ones that I am just starting. My kids are more important to me than anything in the world, and I know if I take care of me, I will be able to better take care of them.

My Poor Girl

Last week, Noel had the flu.  She was running a fever off and on for a few days and had a cough. She went without a fever for three days (Saturday, Sunday, and Monday). Then, yesterday when I was making her lunch and getting her ready for school, all of a sudden she had a fever again and the cough was worse than it was last week.  I took her to the doctor and found out that she now has pneumonia. I was quite concerned when I was told this and felt awful for not taking her to the doctor last week.  The doctor assured me that the wouldn't have done much last week because she had the flu, which is a virus, at that time. They gave her a nebulizer treatment to see if her oxygen levels could get up to a more acceptable level.  When that worked, they gave me prescriptions for two antibiotics and one for the nebulizer (thank goodness I still have one from 2 years ago when she was sick).  Last night was difficult, but she seems to already be perking up.  I am hoping that when I take her back in today, they will say that she is improving at the rate they want or better.

The fun part for Noel is the dinosaur mask they gave her for the nebulizer.

The End of an Era

When I was 16, my mom had a Toyota Tercel.  She bought it earlier that year brand new.  In October, she decided that she couldn't make the payments and told me that if I could pay for it, I could have it. I worked a lot for the rest of high school to make the payments on my little car. 
Now, here I am, 32, with my little car sitting in my driveway, not able to run safely. I have put about $2000.00 into it to try to get it to run properly (I have a suspicion that the mechanic may have something to do with that).  I gave up on trying to get it to run almost a year ago.  Due to my emotional attachment to the darn thing, I talked about selling it, but never did anything about it.

 Last night, a man came to my door to ask me about my car.  He said that he used to have one and would like another one.  I told him how long it had been sitting and the reasons why.  He still wanted it!  Before I knew it, my precious little car was sold.  I am more excited about that than I expected!  It is one big step to getting rid of more clutter.

Valentine's Party

Noel was sick today and very upset that she was going to have to miss her Valentine's parties in school and daycare.  I told her that we could have one just the two of us.  We went to Target and found pink frosting with Valentine sprinkles, went home, and made cookies.  It was a lot of fun!  I miss spending this kind of time with my kids.

More Fancy Noel

Eric Gets His Wolf Badge

Last month, Eric earned his wolf badge and enter the bear den.

Noel's Picture

Noel made me a picture this morning. She said that the one on the left is Daddy, the one on the right is Mama, and the one in the middle is Noel.

When Times Were Simpler

Eric was very excited to have a new sister in 2005.

Sean had the best "curlies."

Noel made a mess of everything she ate.

Super Bee, Superman, and Pebbles costumes were made with imagination.

Super heroes were often found in my kitchen.

Of course, the goofy poses for pictures is something that will never change.

Sean Wins

I didn't even know there was an awards ceremony until Sean got home from school last Thursday and showed me the awards he got with a proud smile.  I couldn't have been more excited for him though!

Fancy Noel

Noel loves Fancy Nancy books.  She lately has been wanting to be "fancy" as well. The result is her being picky about her hair and wearing a lot of dresses or skirts.

Dinner at My House

A week from Saturday my kids will be spending the night at their grandma's house.  That means I get to have a night without children!  I have to work the next morning, so I can't do a big girls night out/in.  I am going to have a dinner at my house though. Just us grown-up girls.  I will make the main course and take care of drinks.  I would like anyone coming to bring either a desert or side dish (please no chocolate since I am allergic to it).  Here is your official invite:
When: Saturday, Jan. 22 @ 6pm
Where: My House 

Please, let me know if you are planning on coming so I know what to plan.

The Faith of My Girl

I must start this off by explaining that about 2 weeks ago a family member (I'm not sure if I am still allowed to call him my nephew) lost his battle with cancer.  Since the funeral, the kids have asked me several questions about death and his illness.  I have done my best to let them know that they can ask me any questions about it or anything else that is going on around them.
Just now, while eating lunch, my sweet girl says, "Mom, I know what a casket is."
I calmly responded, "Yes.  Unfortunately, you do."
She looks at me seriously and says, "What?  Jesus will resurrect him."

Eric's Birthday

Eric got what he wanted

and frosted and decorated his own cake.

Happy Birthday, Eric!

Christmas Pics

I didn't even realize that I had forgotten to post Christmas pictures until I was getting the pictures of Eric's birthday from my camera and the Christmas pictures were still on the camera.  Oops!

So Far...

So far since John told me he was leaving I have lost 6 pounds.  Most of that was from not really eating for the first week.  The last 2 pounds were just a miracle.  I have tried to do my Biggest Loser game a few times.  It gets hard.  The fact that I have a broken toe that was not healed very well yet and did jumping jacks with the game didn't help.  (I never realized how important my little toe was until about a month ago.)  I am doing my best to try to get at least some exercise done once a day.  I accomplished at least 5 minutes 3 days this week, so I am counting that as an improvement.
I have found that I am getting worn out and cranky earlier lately.  I think I am pushing myself too hard, but I guess I have no other choice.  I have to work and life as a single mom is now my reality.  The funny thing is that when it comes to home life, it isn't a whole lot different.  In some ways it is less stressful because I am not worrying about where my husband is and what he is doing.  It is a bit easier to push myself to do certain things like cleaning and putting the kids to bed because there is not another parent in the house who should be helping do it.  I am starting to feel overwhelmed by all of the responsibilities that I have, but I think that once a routine is in place that feeling will calm down.
I have days where I am so depressed it takes all I have to get out of bed.  Other days I feel so good about my future that I am upbeat and energetic.  I don't think I will get off of this roller coaster anytime soon.  I hope it gets better once we have filed for divorce and especially once it is final.
I will have something less depressing next time I post.  Eric's birthday is coming up, so be ready!

The Future Me

I got a Wii for Christmas with The Biggest Loser game. I am feeling more motivated to get up and move.  I set up my avatar for a 12 week program.  I know it will be hard, but hopefully I can do it for that long.  I am going to try to concentrate on one week at a time.  I hope that by the time I finish the 12 weeks, my divorce will be final, and I will be ready for a new life and a new me.  I am starting to feel more positive about my future the more and more I am away from him.  I have noticed that when he is around that I am more stressed out and beat up.  I know I have to have dealings with him for the rest of my life because we have kids together.  With any luck, however, I will either find a new job or get a schedule that is more conducive to being a single mom in the next few months.

Pizza With The Kids

Sean's pizza (top), Eric's pizza (bottom)

My pizza (top), Noel's smiley pizza (bottom)

Monday night I decided to do something fun with my kids for dinner.  I went out and got stuff to make pizzas.  We each got to make one.  Then we had a picnic in the living room and watched the old version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  We all had a good time!

Excuse Me

I would just like to clarify something.  My kids don't know totally what is going on.  All they know is what they have figured out on their own.  At least two of the three are upset enough by that.  Talking to me about my problems in front of them will make me mad.  Even if they did know completely what is going on, coming up to me at church and talking to me about my husband leaving is inconsiderate especially in front of my kids.

What's Going On

Well, life knows how to through me a curve ball.  Perhaps it is not as unexpected as I would have hoped however.  I will post more later, but for now I will just say that John is moving out.  He will not tell me where he is going, but I know already.  I am not stupid.  I know how to pick up on enough clues to draw a fairly accurate conclusion.  I have been turned into a villain when he is speaking to his friends.  He knows the truth.  I have done things I am not proud of.  I think he knows now that I will NOT take how he treats me.  I will not sit in the dark anymore.  I do need him when it comes to the kids because they adore their father and I don't want to traumatize them or have them go without the necessities in life.  Other than that, at this point there is not a way for us to have even a friendship.  He would tell you it is because if what I have done, but we both know it goes beyond just me.  I know he doesn't read my blog, but I do suspect that he has friends that spy on my blog.  Maybe they will tell him what the evil witch has posted about him.  I don't know.

Book of Mormon

As some people know, I have been having a very hard time with my testimony lately.  I won't go into all of the reasons right now.  About a week ago the missionaries visited our family and gave us the first discussion.  They challenged us to read at least part of the Book of Mormon and pray about it.  This morning, as I was getting the kids breakfast, I decided it was a good time to look for the mp3's I have of the Book of Mormon and turn it on.  I think I am going to do this more often.  I am going to make a goal right now to listen to the Book of Mormon on the way to or from work at least 3 days a week.  This means putting off my Dave Ramsey pod casts, but I am up to this challenge and Dave can wait for a little while.  I'm not sure this will help, but it couldn't hurt. Right?

Decorating the Christmas Tree

Loving Siblings

Noel was having a hard time finding a seat that she liked for watching TV.  Eric decided to share his.

Now if I could just get them to act like this more often...

Crazy Dog

When I bought this trash can, the idea was that one with a lid would keep the dog out of it.  She has since learned how to get the lid open long enough to start pulling out stuff near the top (at least enough to start licking it).

Noel's Lunch

Bacon and Slim Fast...mmm

3rd and 4th Grade Play

Our star

Eric has a speaking part this year.  Apparently the loose tooth was a bit distracting while waiting for his part.

Of course there was singing and dancing!