We Are Not Alone

https://mormonsoprano.com/2015/04/11/home-the-movie-and-life/

We were never meant to navigate through this world without guidance. We have a loving Heavenly Father that not only is willing to help us when we are struggling, He is waiting for us to ask him for help and follow His commandments. If you think about it, our part is easier in comparison. (We do not have as many people to talk to.)
Look at the story of David and Goliath. David was facing a daunting task. He did not run from it. He trusted that the Lord would guide him in his fight to the death. When his abilities were questioned he said, “…The lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine…”  By following the guidance of the Lord, David was able to kill Goliath with is first shot (he used a sling shot and smooth stones).
Later in life, David needed direction on where to go in battle. He once again relied on the Lord. In 2 Samuel 5: 23, it says, , “And when David inquired of the Lord, he said Thou shalt not go up, but fetch a compass behind them, and come upon them over against the mulberry trees.”  
 I can honestly say, I have and probably will never have to fight a real giant to the death, but I have had to struggle with problems I thought were too big to face including divorce, financial struggles, and the death of my mom and brother. One thing that I learned from these struggles was that I can't get through them on my own. I have to rely on my Heavenly Father. I know that I will not always get specific directions like David did in 2 Samuel, but He will direct me in the way that is best for me and the situation I am in at the time. 
I am so thankful to have a loving Heavenly Father who is willing and able to help me navigate though life when I am willing to ask for help and choose the right.

Answer to My Prayers

I have learned a lot this week as I have worked on being more like Christ and studied the Old Testament. This semester, I have been working on being more prayerful. It has been working wonderfully. I have gotten back into the routine of praying in the morning on my own and with my family at night. I have noticed that the more often I pray personally, the less scripted my prayers feel. I am able to really reach out and ask for help and tell my Heavenly Father the good and rough things that have been going on. This brings me to a big lesson I learned while reading my scriptures this week.

https://1956msbess.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/wpid-img_20150306_090726.jpg

I have been struggling at work with the way some people talk about Christians. A week ago I left feeling defeated and worthless because of the things a few people were saying. One guy was brave enough to speak up for himself. I wished that I had been brave enough as well. 

One morning on the way to work, I prayed for help. I knew that I needed to change something in me to make my anxiety about the situation better. I asked my Heavenly Father to help me be the example to my coworkers that I needed to be and to have the courage to stand up for my religion. 

When I got home, I started to read the assignment for the week looking for principles that I could apply to my life. I was shocked to see the answer to my prayers not long after I started reading (this kind of thing rarely happens to me)! 

• "...be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whithersoever thou goest." (Joshua 1:7)

The Lord was telling me that I need to be strong and courageous. I need to keep the commandments. I need to not turn away from my struggles. He will help me not matter where I go. 

When I read this it reminded me of my seminary days (more years ago than I want to admit) and the scriptures that I had memorized. 

• "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:14-16)

I am not going though the same struggles as Joshua and the children of Isreal when though. I have a home and plenty of food. I have not been wondering around most of my life waiting for the Lord to tell the prophet where the promised land is. However, I can still learn from the same teachings that they were given.

He Will Send Help/Do Not Complain

I enjoyed reading in Numbers 11 this week. In this chapter the children of Israel are all complaining to Moses about the difficulties of wondering around in the wilderness. For example, they complain that they are not able to eat meat like they were when they were in Egypt. These complaints had more than one result.
First of all, Moses became overwhelmed. He was trying to lead the people and take care of their needs and wants. He goes to the Lord with his problems. In verse 11 he says, "wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me." Then in verse 14 he continues, "I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me." The Lord does not turn away from Moses in his time of need. Instead, He tells Moses, "Gather unto me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom thou knowest to be the elders of the people,and officers over them...(Numbers 11:16)" Moses was then able to have some of his burden lifted because he could delegate some of his responsibilities to the seventy men that were chosen.
The other result to the complaints Moses brought to the Lord was that the people were finally given meat to eat, but there was a catch. They were given so much that they had more than they needed. At that time, the Lord used the meat to make the people sick with the plague (Numbers 11:33).
I really liked reading this chapter of the Old Testament. If you have been putting off reading this great book of scripture, stop reading what you have been reading and read this instead.

Only One God

This week, as I was reading in Exodus, I payed attention to how many times we are told to only worship the one true God. I started reading this week in Exodus 20. This, as many people know, tells us the ten commandments given to Moses.
The first commandment given was, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me (Exodus 20:3)." The fact that this is the first commandment given by God means that it is the most important. Then again in Exodus 34: 14 he says, "For thou shalt worship no other god; for the Lord...is a jealous god." When looking at the footnotes, I was also directed to Deuteronomy 6: 14. This verse says, "ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which are round you about you." The Lord repeated this direction several times because it is important. He wants to make sure that we understand that He is the only God we are to worship.
I think that the commandment to not covet (Exodus 20: 17) goes hand and hand with this commandment as well. In the Topical Guide, it says to "see also desire; envy; greedily; greediness; greedy; jealous; lust." When we are jealous or lusting after objects that other people have, we are in a way worshiping those items. For example, if my neighbor had a really nice car and I wanted that car so much that it was all I could think of. In a way, I would be worshiping that car.
One of the more shocking things that I read concerning this topic was in Exodus 22: 20. The Lord says, "He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the Lord only , he shall be utterly destroyed." Could you imagine what would happen if this law was still in place? I think that maybe the world could be a better place if people would worship our Heavenly Father rather than the opinion of others.

My Brother and My Son

Yep, they're related!

Our Summer of Fun

This summer, my family and I made plans to have a lot of fun. My scheduled had changed from working overnights to working early in the morning and getting home around 2pm. We made a list of things we wanted to do: hiking, fishing, camping, going to a water park, swimming at the rec center, roller skating, and going to see a movie. We actually accomplished most of the items on our list and added a few more. I think Eric actually accomplished doing everything.

At the beginning of June, Eric went on a 50 mile hike/camping trip with the scouts. He was very excited and had attended most of the preparatory hikes they planned. He had a lot of fun and came back with some beautiful pictures on his phone.

While he was gone, we had a hail storm that tried to kill my rose bush. Some of the buds survived, and the bush is actually looking better now than it has for a long time. It was a blessing in disguise.

Then, we finished making our first garden box. Very few plants have survived my brown thumb, but I have hopes to get enough pickles off the the ones that are thriving somehow to make my grandmas pickles. Next year, I will plant earlier.

Sean went to Camp Chris Dobbins for the first time with his scout troop. He loved it. He got to ride horses, shoot a gun, and work of game design. 

The first week in August, we went camping as a family with my sister's family. We went to Lake Jackson. It was beautiful. The lake was perfect for swimming. My brother-in-law caught a fish. The dogs loved being outdoors. The first night and following day were wonderful! Then it rained and hailed. After sticking it out for a few hours we decided it was best to just go home. It took two trips to get everything and everyone there. Somehow, we go everything back in one, extremely uncomfortable, ride home. 

That Friday, before the kids woke up, Chad and I went to a small fishing pond in Hudson and caught our first fish since we started fishing together two years ago.

That Saturday, Chad's brother took us and the kids to the Wierd Al concert. It was a blast and the perfect way to end the week.

Now, the kids are back in school. Hopefully, we can continue to make good memories.

A Great Treasure

In my earliest memories, there were six members living in my family: Mom; Dad;, Anthony, my older brother; Marleah, my younger sister; Grandma; and me. I have few memories before the age of ten when there weren’t six of us sitting at the dinner table, going on vacation, or going to church. We loved each other, and I could not imagine my life any different.  

When I was ten, my grandma went to visit my aunt for my cousin’s missionary farewell. Instead of coming home later that week as planned, she went into the hospital because her skin and eyes were mysteriously yellow. A few days later, my brother, sister, and I lined up on the couch as my mom delivered the tragic news, “Grandma is very sick. We don’t know when or if she will be able to come home. She has cancer.” I wanted her to come home and keep taking care of us. I prayed every night pleading for her to get better. Two months later she came home, and I thought everything would be back to normal. I was wrong. My mom flew with my grandma back to Arizona to see the doctors who had originally diagnosed her cancer a few months later. Three weeks after that, May 29, 1989, my dad received a phone call from my mom informing him that my grandma had passed away. After he told us, I didn’t want to eat. I just wanted to go back to bed.  I didn’t understand how we could live without her.

Later that year, mom my struggled with depression and mental illness triggered by the loss of her mother. By the end of the year, she was admitted to a mental hospital. The following years were difficult. My mom was in and out of the hospital due to suicidal thoughts. Then, she left home without telling anyone where she was going. Two months later she was found back in the hospital. We had been abandoned; we only found out where she was because the health insurance was though my dad.

The next few years brought more challenges to my relationship with my mom. When I was sixteen, my parents were divorced, and my mom moved about 20 miles away. I did not understand why my mom left or why she did not want to live with my brother, sister, and me. Finally, when I was seventeen, I realized the problem was not me or her, it was her mental illness. I forgave her and our relationship grew stronger as I visited her whenever my schedule allowed.

The summer of my eighteenth birthday, I felt life could not be better. I had the relationship I had always wanted with my mom, my brother had just moved into his first apartment, and my sister and I were starting our junior and senior years of high school. As my mom worked on her relationship with her children, she came to the conclusion that the best way to feel closer to her mother would be to do temple work for her parents. After a few weeks of talking to her sisters and making plans, she decided to visit her sister in Arizona to do the work and be sealed to them. One night my mom stopped by my job to let my sister and I know she would be leaving early in the morning as planned. She gave us each a hug and said, “Goodbye, I will see you when I get back.” We did not know that would be our last hug. When my sister and I got home from work, we saw our brother’s dog locked up in the kitchen as our exhausted dad explained Anthony had decided to visit our aunt in Arizona with our mom and her roommate, and they had left around midnight instead of early morning because my mom’s roommate believed they were being stalked by her ex-husband. Then, we went to bed not knowing how much our lives would change the next day.

The following morning, Friday, August 30, 1996, is a morning I will never forget. My sister and I woke up and went to seminary and school as usual. While I was in the second class of the day, a note from the front office was brought to me telling me my dad was waiting for me. I walked into the office and saw my dad standing there looking sick and expressionless. When my sister arrived, we were taken into an empty room. “Mom and Anthony were in an accident this morning,” he managed to choke out. When we asked how badly they were hurt, he explained the circumstances of the accident: since they didn’t sleep before leaving Denver, Mom and Anthony, were sleeping in the car when my mom’s roommate feel asleep at the wheel and crashed into the guard rail. My mom was wearing her seat belt, but was crushed by the guard rail. Anthony was not wearing a seat belt and was thrown out the back window with such a force that he didn’t survive the impact. My whole world had changed in that instant. How could life go on without Mom and Anthony? My head was spinning. I had no idea how I was supposed to feel. As we stood questioning why, we were taken into the counseling office to wait for our bishop to arrive and help us go safely home.

The next task was to plan a double funeral. By Sunday, we had most of the plans in place. As we walked into church, it felt different than the previous weeks. It was announced Mom and Anthony passed away followed by the opening hymn, “Families Can Be Together Forever.” I sat expressionless for the rest of the meeting as people bore testimonies of the sealing ordinance and talked about memories of my mom and brother.

Through tragedy and grief, I learned the greatest treasure we have on earth is our family. There are many things people take for granted when their loved ones are still on earth: talking to family members on the phone, wishing them a happy Mother’s or Father’s day, celebrating birthdays, telling them happy news such has marriages and pregnancies, having a mother help with the new babies, getting advice, hearing them laugh, and seeing them smile. Embrace these moments. You never know when they will be gone; leaving you mourning the experiences you are not able to share with them.

Defenders of the Family

https://pondsguidetopersonalprogress.wordpress.com/tag/bonnie-l-oscarson/

As the world defines family with less and less standards, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are to defend the sanctity of marriage in a loving and caring way. By doing this, we share the greatest blessings possible to a family (being sealed for eternity). Even if we are not formally called to serve a mission, we can still share the gospel by teaching those around and being good examples. As the hymn says, we should "all press on in the work of the Lord."

Heavenly Father's Plan

https://blogs.bencrowder.net/mormon/2006/plan-of-salvation/

"Gender is an Essential Characteristic"

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/317574211200664155/

We are not born either male or female by accident. We have always been male or female. We were made that way to complement each other in marriage. In his talk "Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan," Elder David A. Bednar said, "For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinctive, and complementary...By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fullness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other."
I am glad to know that I didn't just happen to be born a girl for no reason. I am very happy to know that I was not meant to do everything on my own. God put me on this earth as a woman with characteristics specific to women. My husband has characteristics unique to men. Together, we can do anything! There is no need and no way for me to compete with him.

Scared

http://www.fearfuladventurer.com/archives/6873

My new assignment for my English class is to write a personal narrative essay. We are supposed to answer the following questions:

• Why is this important to me?
• Why do I still remember this?
• How did this change me?
• So what? What might others take from this experience?

The topics I thought of are: my divorce (I am getting sick of talking about this), the car accident that took my mom and brother from this life, or my mom's many trips to the hospital for depression. I am leaning towards the car accident. Just thinking about talking about it THIS in depth scares me. I think I am mostly scared of bearing this part of my soul to class members. What if I show how weak my testimony is? What if people think I am some kind of wierdo because I this is still so painful after 20 years? At the same time, what if writing this essay heals my heart a bit more? What if this is what I need to do to continue to move on?

Quality Time

To My Chad

I am thankful that I am blessed with three wonderful children. I am blessed to be sharing them with the best example I could ask for. He may not be their father by blood, but he is the one who puts Noel to bed at night, helps lead our house, encourages them in everything they do to the best of his ability, and shows them how to work hard for what they want. 

My Divine Roll

about a month before Noel was born

When I was growing up, the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up was a mommy. I got my wish January 10, 2002; September 25, 2003; and November 22, 2005. Eric, Sean, and Noel are my greatest blessings and my biggest responsibilities. Heavenly Father has entrusted them into my care. As a mother, I am to nurture, love, respect, and teach them. 

If I don't do my part to teach them how to live the gospel, I will be held responsible. That is overwhelming at times. When they were little, they loved to share their testimonies, go to church activities, and say prayers. Since their dad put aside his beliefs, it has been a struggle. I am not going to stop trying though.

Mosiah 4:14-15 "And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil...But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another."

Eternal Marriage

I too this from my friend's Facebook page.

You Are Not Alone

This reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Michael McClean.

Your not alone
Even tho' right now you're on your own.
You are loved in ways that can't be shown;
You're needs are know;
You're not alone.
And when you cry
You're just letting go a heartache deep inside.
So tomorrow there'll be sunshine in the sky-
And love close by:
Your're not alone. 

This artist and this song have helped me through many trials including the tragic death of my mom and brother when I was 18. He does an amazing job of writing songs that speak to my heart.

"We Believe As We...Make and Keep Sacred Covenants"

When I was a 12 to 18 years old, I was in a wonderful organization called Young Women. In my early 20's, I had the privilege to serve in the presidency with the best girls ever. Every Sunday for the years I was either a girl participating or a leader assisting, we recited the theme of the Young Women. It has changed slightly since then, but the lessons I learned from it remain the same.

http://robbygurlscreations.blogspot.com/2011/03/young-women-manual-2-lesson-41-optimism.html

Making and keeping sacred covenants is near the end, but that doesn't mean it is not important. A covenant made with God is sacred. It is a two way promise; we promise to follow His teachings; He promises to give us blessings. The wonderful part of these covenants is that He doesn't break his part of the promise. In Doctrine and Covenants 82:10, the Lord promises, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

When we perform ordinances in the temple, we make covenants with the Lord. In The Power of  Covenants, Eler D. Todd Christofferson says, "If we are faithful to the covenants make there, we become inheritors not only of the celestial kingdom but of exaltation, the highest glory within the heavenly kingdom, and we obtain all the divine possibilities God can give." Isn't this amazing! By making and keeping sacred covenants, we can receive the ultimate eternal rewards. Can we really ask for more? 

Yes, Eric Clapton. I Will Still Be The Same If You Saw Me In Heaven

http://thelivingtruthfellowship.org/jtltf/bible-teachings/articles-by-topc/life-and-death/121-will-christians-really-live-in-heaven-forever

When I was much younger, Eric Clapton's song, Tears In Heaven, asked though provoking questions.

Would you know my name
If I way you in heaven?
Would you be the same
If I say you in heaven?

This song was written shortly after his son had passed away in a tragic accident. He missed his son dearly.
As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints, we have answers. In Finding Happiness, a talk given by Elder Richard G. Scott, we learn, "...we willnever lose our identity or memory of cherished relationships..." As someone who has lost loved ones, this is a comfort.
If we live righteously and make and keep sacred covenants, we will be with our families in the eternities, and we will know each other because we will still be the same.

Gospel Truth

http://whymormonism.org/3066/truly-liberated-mormon-wife/pinocchio-truth-free-jm

"The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth.
  Light and truth forsake that evil one." Doctrine and Covenants 93:36-37

My favorite parable to illustrate truth was told by President Uchtorf in a C.E.S. devotional titled "What is Truth." In this, he talks about a poem in which six blind men are lead to an elephant (something they have no previous knowledge of). They each feel a different part of the elephant. One feels the leg and describes it to be like the trunk of a tree. The next one describes the tusk to be spear-like. Then, one man describes the tail to be like a rope. A fourth man says that the trunk is like a large snake. Then, they fight about the truth. As you and I know, they are all right in a way. Since there is not a way for them to know what the entire animal looks like, their truth is based on their individual knowledge (the part of the elephant they can feel).

How can we know the REAL truth if it is that subjective?

We can listen to our church leaders. We have general conferences twice a year. The talks given in those conferences are published for us to read over and over again if we feel the need. (My favorite is "Three Goals to Guide You" by President Thomas S. Monson.) The Lord told us:

"What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself...whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it it is the same." Doctrine and Covenants 1:38

The best part about our search for the truth is not only do we have modern prophets to guide us, we are encouraged to search for the truth. In the 2010 Friend, we are taught,"We receive a marvelous gift when we are baptized adn confirmed. this is the gift of the Holy Ghost...If we follow His proptings, we can return to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ again." ("The Holy Ghost Testifies of the Truth of All Things" by Sandra Tanner and Cristina Franko) We are also challenged in the scriptures to ask for confirmation of the truth.

"Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them...and ponder in your hearts.
And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ,he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." Moroni 10:3-5

I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am glad that the Lord knows me and teaches me more truths when I am ready to learn them.

A Mother's Love

http://aaliyahem.blogspot.com/2014/10/a-mothers-love.html

I believe that a mother’s love never dies. It continues on even after she is gone from this earth through her children, friends, sisters, brothers, and other loved ones.

            A mother has the ability to love her children no matter what they have done. I remember one night when my mom snuck into my room and climbed into my bed crying because of the choices my brother was making. She never once said that she did not love him because of these choices; her reaction was quite the opposite. She was crying because she loved him so much and wanted to help him make better decisions in his life. I knew at this point that I wanted to love my children as much as my mom loved my brother.

            A mother takes the time to show her children that they are loved, not just tell them. I have a special way of showing my son, Sean, that he is loved. Whenever we get a moment to have a long hug, I sing to him. It is not just any song. It is our song, “You Are My Sean-Sean” (an adapted version of “You Are My Sunshin

e). It is one quick song sang to a sad boy, who struggles with depression, but it means the world to my precious boy, and he knows he is loved.

            A mother is selfless. She would give up her last bite of food to make sure the needs of her children are met first. She would make sure her children have adequate clothing while wearing clothing that she has been wearing for more years than the kids have been alive. She will sacrifice sleep to help a child who has a homework assignment due the next day.

            My mom passed away almost twenty years ago, but her influence is still felt. My sister and I take care of each other when help is neeed. During the heartache of learning my first husband no longer wanted to be married, my sister was always willing to help me whether I needed a phone call, help with my kids, or even home repairs. She did exactly as our mother taught us to do; she did more than just tell me she loved me, she showed me. I could feel my mom was near us and happy my sister was helping me.

            Another way that my mom’s love is still spread is how my sister and I have adopted some of my mom’s traditions of love with our kids. For many years, my kids enjoyed “cuddle time” just like we did as kids before getting ready for school. They would each get about five minutes to cuddle with me in the living room chair with no other distractions. My sister and I, also, read with our kids and play with our kids just like our mom did with us. By doing this, my kids are enjoying the legacy of love that my mom left when she died.

            More than just saying she loves her children, a mother shows them she loves them. She cries for them, sings to them, sacrifices for them, and teaches them to love others. By teaching her children how to love, this love can be felt long after she is gone.

*An essay written for English class.