So Tired

I am so tired lately! I am probably not getting enough sleep. I don't get home from work until midnight, and then I just want to spend time with John. I get up aroud six (most mornings) so that I can spend time with my husband before he goes to work since I am not home when he gets home.

Homework is kicking my butt. I do still like the learning part, but it seems like most of my free time is taken by doing school work. I guess I shouldn't complain. I could be doing this much work and attending classes. Instead, I am doing this much work and turning it in online. Not so bad I guess.

My kids would be the other reason I am so tired. I love them. They really are good kids. The thing is, these boys need to get into school. They are driving me crazy. They need some structure. I am not a hugely structured person (I guess I could list that as reason number 4). I am sure that once they are in school, things will calm down at least a little bit around here. Only one week for Eric and a week and a half for Sean. Then, they will be in school. Not that I am counting or anything...

General Update

As Jami was so nice to remind me, it has been a while since I updated my blog. This is not because I don't want people to know what is going on with me. I just plain haven't had the time. It is hard to juggle kids and school and work. A lot harder than I thought it would be. I am hoping that once I get into the groove it will be a bit easier for me to find time for my hobbies like blogging and sewing and knitting.

School is going pretty good right now. I have a 99% in both classes. That is great. I had a hard time trying to find time to fit in my school work, but I did eventually get my assignments and quizzes done. By eventually, I mean I just got finished. It's OK. I had five and a half more hours to get the stuff in. It is not completely last minute.

Work is, well, interesting. I am in a class of 12 new hires. We get to sit and learn all about Dish Network most of the time. Sometimes we get to sit for an hour or two and listen to live calls. As boring as that sounds, I actually am having fun most of the time. I like most of the people in the class. I find it interesting that adults are just as clicky in that kind of situation as high school kids. There seems to be 2 obvious groups with a few of us that are, for the most part, accepted by both groups.

The kids went camping with John's family the last few days. It sounds like they had a lot of fun. John and I didn't go, so the kids went up with Rachel. I'm glad that she was willing to do that. The kids looked forward to going on vacation without Mom and Dad. We are lucky to have someone who was willing to aid in that effort.

I think that is all that needs to be updated right now. I'm sure if I left anything out, someone will ask questions....right?

I Know What ____ Is Made Out Of

This is Noel's favorite saying lately. Just about every time I give her food or drink she says, "Mommy, I know what (fill in the blank) is made out of." Sometimes she gets it right. Sometimes it is just so cute or funny that I have to laugh.

Here are some of the things she has said lately:

"Mommy, I know what milk is made out of. Cows"
"Mommy, I know what crackers are made out of. Crack." (My personal favorite.)
"Mommy, I know what corn dogs are made out of. Bread and hot dogs."

Messy Dog

I washed my dog yesterday. She was really dirty! I was so proud of myself for actually remembering to not only wash her, but brush her as well. She was so pretty.

Well, that was last night. This morning she came in from...well, you know...covered in MUD! I was so upset. It was way worse that what the kids would have done. It was almost the same feeling I get when I finally get "all" of the laundry done just to have a child pee in their pants as I fold the last towel. UGH! I would share picture of her, but I was so frustrated I didn't thing about it until after I sent her back out and went to take a shower.

Legos: The Best Invention Ever

I Got The Job!

After playing phone tag with the HR department at Dish Network, I finally talked to Brandy yesterday. I will start my training as a CSR2 (customer service representative, level 2) on Monday. I am so excited and nervous at the same time!

I get to start as a level 2 because I already had 2 years in a call center (it was over 8 years go, but it counts). All that I can tell that means is that I get paid more than the people who have no call center experience. That works for me.

My training sift is going to be 3:00pm to 11:30pm. That means that I can at very least drop my kids off at school, and I don't have to completely miss Sean's first day ever of school or Eric's first day of second grade. That makes me happy.

I am a bit nervous about the fact that while our relationship is so fragile, John and I will only see each other about 2 hours a day on the week days while I am training. It is only for 5 weeks, but it is going to be really hard.

As far as getting the children cared for, my wonderful sister-in-law,, Rachel, will be watching them for a few hours a day. There are still some things that have to be decided on when school starts, but I will have a few weeks to figure that out. I thought that the kids may not like having to go somewhere else to be watched so much, but they are really excited to be going to Aunt Rachel's on Monday.

When I am done with training I will be on graveyards for at least 8 weeks with Tuesday and Wednesday off. That will be hard as far as finding time to sleep, but I will get that figured out. I'm just happy that I will be still able to to be with my kids.

Week Two at Everest

The second week of school is over for me. I can tell that I am already leaning a lot.

The good news is that I still have A's in both classes. I have 100% in Strategies for Success and 98% in Medical Terminology. I took my first Medical Terminology quiz on Wednesday and got a 93%. I was excited! I could have had 100%, but there was one trick question, and I got it wrong. I am hoping to continue to get 100% on all of my other work so that the grade will get even better . (Does that make me a nerd? Oh, well. I'll take that as a compliment if it does.)

I made the mistake a few days ago of actually looking though the syllabuses to get an idea of what my assignments will be for the next few months. It overwhelmed me so much. I had to remind myself that I just need to take this one week or unit at at time. I may even go as far as saying one assignment at time.

The only thing that is really irritating me is the group work. I don't want to have to work as a group to complete any assignments. I guess I will just have to suck it up and do it for the next few months though. I am sure that I will have to do group work in other classes, too. Hopefully, I will be put into a better group though.

A Common Goal

Our marriage counselor suggested that John and I have a common goal to work on since we had been running almost separate lives for so long. It took us a while, but we finally have one. We have started working out together in the morning. For the last three days, we have been trying to get up at 6am and turning on an exercise video and exercising. OK. The videos that we have been doing have only been about 10 minute workouts, but we have got to start some where right?

Dear George

I thank you for buying the tile that I posted on craigslist. I thank you for not only paying my asking price, but doubling it. I am, however, irritated at the way this transaction has been conducted. On Saturday, you said that you would be sending me a check overnight. I expected the check to be in my hand Tuesday at the latest. When you sent me an email stating that your secretary had sent me the wrong check by mistake, and you would like for me to transfer the difference of the funds to your mover, I was understanding. I understand that you are nervous about sending me so much more money than we agreed, but you really need to stop sending me you emails with the subject in all caps. I don't like being yelled at in person or virtually. I have been conducting myself in a professional manner, and I expect the same out of you. I sent you an email stating that my bank would not give me the cash I needed to take to Walmart to do the Moneygram transfer until tomorrow to make sure that the check cleared. Why did you send me an email back telling me to send you the info from the Moneygram receipt today? That would take some kind of miracle. Really, Dude, calm down! I am not the one that made the mistake. maybe you should have a serious talk with the secretary that sent me the amount she was supposed to send the mover. I am an honest person (at least when it comes to stuff like this). I want to get rid of the tile as much as you want to get the tile (maybe even more so).

Thank you,
Rosa

***I feel so much better now!

Torn

I'm torn. I have pretty much been hired on a Dish Network. (I just have to pass the background check and drug screen.) I know I need to work. That part is obvious. The thing is, now that it is becoming more of a reality, I am freeking out.

I was told that I can't miss any days in the first 5 weeks. Sean's first day of school ever (we did preschool at home) will be within that time. John assured me that he can get the day off of work. I am greatful for that, but it is just not the same. I want to be there when he goes into the school for the first time, and I want to be there to pick him up and get his reaction first had as he comes out of school. I am his mommy. It is breaking my heart.

Noel came to me Monday talking about the boys not going to school yet. I told her that they would be in about a month. Her little face lit up, and she said, "Then it will be just me and you til Sean-Sean has a school trip. Then I can go to Melissa's house." That broke my heart too. I had to tell her that it probably wouldn't be that way. She was probably going to have to go to day care. He little face dropped. I told her that we would try to find one that was like going to school (a day care center). She seemed a bit happier, but not as happy as when she thought that her days would be filled with being alone with just Mommy. It broke my heart.

I love my kids. I would do anything for them. I need to get a job so that they can be provided for now and in the future. With the uncertainty in this world, we never know how stable any job is. I hope that in the future that my kids will understand that me getting a job now was for them. In the meantime, I hope the transition is smooth and doesn't upset them too much.

My First Week

My first week of school is done! I can't believe it. I love it so far. I feel like I am actually doing something useful for my family now. I know that in a few years I will be able to work in the medical billing and coding profession and really make a difference in the quality of life for me and my family. That gives me even more drive to do my work.

I am taking two classes this term, Medical Terminology and Strategies for Success. So far, Medical Terminology is a bit hard, but still fun. Strategies for Success seems to be about goal making and prioritizing. I admit that I do need to do this more in my life. At first, I thought this was a horrible class to require student to take, but now, after starting week two, I am thinking that it is great. If I don't get an A in this class, I will scream though.

I am happy to report that so far I have 100% in each class. That actually surprised me. One of my answers on a paper was seriously, "I can't find this anywhere." The teacher still gave me a 20/20 on that paper. I would have to think that either she hadn't posted the information that was needed for that question yet, or she was just being nice since it was the first assignment. Either way, I will be trying harder to make sure I have read everything available for my assignments from now on. I didn't like the worrying about the assignment from Monday (the day I turned the paper in) until Sunday (the day the grade was posted).

Warning! Vent Alert!

This week has been really stressful. I know some of the reason, but not all. I know that when I am looking forward to something it makes the days leading up to said event (in this case going out for my birthday this weekend) a lot harder to handle. I, also, know that when the kids are looking forward to something, it makes them ask when that event is going to happen (in this case spending the night at Uncle Asher's and Aunt Rachel's tonight). There are other more obvious reasons that, as promised before, I will not discuss on my blog.

Why am I writing about this? Well, I have noticed that it seems to be coming to a head this morning. John left for work early this morning. Not as early as he did with he last job, but early for us to be getting up lately. I couldn't bring myself to go back to sleep, so I got up, took a shower, and expected to have some quiet time all to myself for just a little while. I was wrong.

As I came out of my room this morning, Sean came out of his room too. Noel was soon to follow. They both wanted cuddle time. (The mark of the mornings first fit.) I started with Sean, and then cuddled Noel because we determined a while back that going in the order they got up was the most fair way. While cuddling Noel, Eric woke up and wanted breakfast and to be cuddled too (I hope he doesn't decide he is too big for that anytime soon). To get Noel off my lap I told her and Sean to go look in the dishwasher for a cup and a plate for breakfast. There was only one small plate in the dishwasher, and I don't like them climbing on the counters to get stuff out of the cupboards (welcome fight number one). I got up and got plates out for the two remaining children when I was done with cuddling Eric. Then, they were loud and obnoxious through out breakfast. Normally, I interact with them through breakfast, but I just didn't feel like it today because of my already sour mood. After breakfast, Noel got dressed right away (I probably wouldn't have chose that as an outfit, but she is happy, I won't fight her on it). It took Sean about an hour to get dressed, and Eric took about 2 hours to get dress. In the mean time, they continued to be loud. ARGH!

The highlight of my morning so far? John called me just to see how I was doing.

Pierced Ears

On July 3 we took Noel to the mall and got her ears pierced. She was so excited to be able to wear earrings like Mama and Brynna (a girl her age at church). She had decided before going that she was going to get pink earrings and was very excited that they had pink flower ones!

We're Working it Out

John and I have decided that we will be working out our problems and saving our relationship. We both know and understand that there is a long road ahead of us, but we are up to the challenge. What does this mean for me? It means that I don't have to be facing single motherhood. Yay! It means that I don't have to face living without him. Yay! It means that I am learning to be more assertive. It means that A LOT of my time and energy are being taken with these efforts. I can honestly say that I never saw myself in this situation, and I hope to never be again. I feel that this is the right decision for me and my family. The last month (about) has been a roller coaster to say the least. I don't see that going away anytime soon. Life is hard. It is a lot of work. My life has been filled with lots of ups and downs. I have a tendency to dwell on the downs. I seem to look at other peoples problems and wish that they were mine instead. Of course there are problems that other people have that I wouldn't imagine wanted, and I am glad for my trials when I hear about theirs. Then I go back to feeling sorry for myself. I know that only a few of you really know what has been going on, but I want it to stay that way. I don't think it would be good for anyone involved in the mess that has been going on for it to get out. I love my husband. That is what matters. He and I are going to be fine. We are going to get though this and be happier for it. I not only have to believe that, I do believe it.

I know this kind of jumps all over the place. I just felt that I needed to get it out. I needed to let everyone that I am doing fine. I know I have been keeping to myself a lot lately. Just give me some more time. I will back to being social again. I just can't say when right now.

I Changed My Mind

I have been changing my mind a lot lately. It drives me crazy sometimes, but I have learned to deal with it.

I was sure yesterday morning that I wanted to go to school online at National American University. Well, I will still be going to an online school, but I have decided to go to Everest University Online. Through Everest I can get an associates degree upon finishing the medical billing and coding program and then move onto a bachelors program if I so choose. With National American I would have received a certificate upon completion. I feel better about the idea of having a degree. I think it would get me farther. I could be wrong, but at least it is what feels right.

School

There have been and are going to be a lot of changes in my life. Some of them are good. Some I may see as good later.

I have been wanting to go to school for a log time. When I finished high school, I was ready to go to college, but that was not the path that was right for me at that time. About 2 years ago I felt very strongly that I was to go to school. When voicing this need to my husband, he told me that he didn't want me to do that. Like a "good" wife, I listened to him and didn't go.

Now I am facing the big "D" and needing to find a way to provide for myself and my kids. I am still looking for a job, but I have also decided to apply to National American University to start school as soon as possible. I have prayed about this decision and feel that is the best choice for me and my family. My plan is to get my certificate in medical billing and coding. When I finish that program, I will decide if I need/want to continue my education through them.

I have a strong desire to work in the medial field. I would prefer to get into a radiology program, but I know that I need to be home with my kids as much as possible, and I can't complete a radiology program online. Some day I will get into a radiology program and then an ultrasound program. For now, I will do what I feel is best.

Yuck!

Well, the good news is that I am not pregnant. Why would I say that you ask? I was so sick from the stress that I was feeling too sick to my stomach to eat last week. My first worry of course was that I was pregnant. My periods are so far apart that I really can't judge by that. In fact my last two pregnancies the due date had to be determined by ultra sound because that is the only way to judge with me (and those stinkers were STILL a week and a half late).

The bad news...I started my period last Sunday night. For most women this is an inconvenience for about a week. For me, I have deal with this "minor" pain for about two weeks. I know that this only happens to me about every 3-10 months (which means it actually came a month and a half early at least) , but I would prefer for it not to come at all. The way I see it, I am not having any more kids, so why should I have to deal with this grossness. I guess I should feel lucky that it doesn't come as often as it is supposed to, but seriously...two weeks!

Sorry if that was too much information. I just needed to get it out. hehe

The Brute

We went to the park with some friends a few days ago, and I decided to bring the dog along. Eric and Sean thought it would be fun to get Lexie to go up the stairs and drag her down the slide. They were successful the first 3 or4 times. Then, Lexie decided that she wasn't going to do it anymore. She pulled in the opposite direction. Sean was wasn't strong enough to hold her as she pulled. He got pulled instead of the other way around.

Sean getting pulled across the platform.

Where he stopped.

The brute, Lexie, now comfortable.

My Little Hams

I Will Not Be Your Piece of Gossip

I have many reasons that I am shutting down my FaceBook account. One of the biggest reasons is that I feel like I have become the subject of people's gossip. I get that some people care and want to know what is going on, but there are those that just want that juicy piece of gossip. Well, I am not willing to give that to you. I am a person with real feelings, going through a really tough time. I am going through the biggest roller coaster of emotions of anytime in my life that I can remember. Does that mean I have not been through harder times? No. It means I don't remember how I handled my last big trial. Do I think that no one cares about me? No. I just am having a hard time discerning who is sincere in their efforts. Do I not want people to help me? That isn't it either. I just have a hard time asking for/accepting help. Please, give me some time. I do appreciate the concerns of my friends and family. Just understand, if I don't know what I am going to be doing to get through today, I can not make concrete plans for October.

Dear Mr. President

"Dear Mr. President"

(feat. Indigo Girls)

Dear Mr. President,

Come take a walk with me.

Let's pretend we're just two people and

You're not better than me.

I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly.

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?

Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?

What do you feel when you look in the mirror?

Are you proud?

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?

How do you walk with your head held high?

Can you even look me in the eye

And tell me why?

Dear Mr. President,

Were you a lonely boy?

Are you a lonely boy?

Are you a lonely boy?

How can you say

No child is left behind?

We're not dumb and we're not blind.

They're all sitting in your cells

While you pave the road to hell.

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?

And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?

I can only imagine what the first lady has to say

You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine.

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?

How do you walk with your head held high?

Can you even look me in the eye?

Let me tell you 'bout hard work

Minimum wage with a baby on the way

Let me tell you 'bout hard work

Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away

Let me tell you 'bout hard work

Building a bed out of a cardboard box

Let me tell you 'bout hard work

Hard work

Hard work

You don't know nothing 'bout hard work

Hard work

Hard work

Oh

How do you sleep at night?

How do you walk with your head held high?

Dear Mr. President,

You'd never take a walk with me.

Would you?

[Thanks to swarner@bankexcel.com, Sweetsongstress14@comcast.net, Keir Lewis for correcting these lyrics]

The Gambler by Kenny Rogers

On a warm summers evenin on a train bound for nowhere,

I met up with the gambler ; we were both too tired to sleep.

So we took turns a starin out the window at the darkness

til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said, son, Ive made a life out of readin peoples faces,

And knowin what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.

So if you dont mind my sayin, I can see youre out of aces.

For a taste of your whiskey Ill give you some advice.

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.

Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.

And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.

Said, if youre gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,

Know when to walk away and know when to run.

You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.

Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

Now evry gambler knows that the secret to survivin

Is knowin what to throw away and knowing what to keep.

cause evry hands a winner and evry hands a loser,

And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

So when hed finished speakin, he turned back towards the window,

Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.

And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.

But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,

Know when to walk away and know when to run.

You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.

Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,

Know when to walk away and know when to run.

You never count you r money when youre sittin at the table.

Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.
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It May Take a While

Many of you have noticed that I have not been blogging much this week. Well, there is a reason for that. My life has been turned upside down. I don't think I am really ready to post the details yet. I don't know if I will ever post the details the worst day in my life. Just know that I will start blogging again. I will be OK. I will get through this a stronger person. I have no choice.

A Good Sign?

I lost 2 pounds this week. The funny thing is that I wasn't even really trying. I haven't been counting my calories, and other than walking the dog, I haven't exercised. I am hoping that this means that I am actually learning how to give myself limits. It either means that or I am just going to be fluctuating between 167 and 170. (That was really hard to admit!)

Noel's "Magic Wand" Picture

I'm thinking the story must go with this picture. Yesterday, my kids were driving me crazy, and I needed to get things done. My solution was to go to one of my favorite kid websites and print up pictures for the two that just like to color and let the other one draw his own picture. I let Sean and Noel pick the pictures that they would like to color. Noel saw this one and very excitedly said, "I want the one with the magic wand!" I asked her to point to it for me because I didn't think I saw one with a magic wand. She pointed to this one.

Sean's Contibution For The Day

From: Eric To: Eric

My Pedometer

I got a pedometer at Target Saturday. I have been wanting one for a while, and I found one that was only about $5.00. I went ahead and got it.

I got it out on Sunday, and by the time I took it off for the night I had almost 4000 steps counted on it. Not great, but considering I spent a lot of time sitting in church, not bad either.

Monday, I put it on and by dinner I had about the same amount of steps counted as I did for the whole day Sunday. I was feeling pretty darn good about that. Then, later when we sat down to watch a movie I decided to take it off for a bit and look at it. The darn thing said 1 step. YUCK! I was so upset. I didn't put it back on that night.

Yesterday, when I went to weed whack my back yard, is said about 300 steps. I thought the number looked low, but then remembered that I had been sitting in front of the computer for most of the morning. The low number then made sense. When I was just about done with the part of the yard I was going to do, I looked down at my new gadget to see how many steps I had done. It said 75. WHAT!

All I can figure is that I keep pushing the reset button while I am doing stuff. How frustrating though. That reset button must be really sensitive or I lean on my right hip a lot. Either way it is making it really hard to get an accurate count so that I can challenge myself farther.

So Mad At Myself!

I am so mad at myself! I gained 3 pounds this week. I only lost 1 pound a week for the last two weeks. That means that one week of not watching what I eat and not working out much cost me more than 2 weeks of weight loss. I have got to reevaluate what I am doing. I need to stop eating out of boredom and stress. I keep telling myself that it would be easier once I get a job, but that job hasn't come to me yet. I need to find something for me to do to keep my mind off of food all of the time. Of course not buying Chex Mix just because there is a good deal on it would probably help too (he he). Today is supposed to be my off day. I am going to enjoy the food tonight without counting it. Since tomorrow I will be fasting for religious reasons, maybe that will help me refocus and get the junk out of my system. Tomorrow starts a new week, and I will be starting all over again.

Lego Lexie

Eric made our dog out of Lego's yesterday. What do you think?

Girl's Night At My House

I know this is short notice, but I was waiting to find out what was going to happen with the job thing first.

John will be going out of town this weekend. I was going to try to plan a girls night out, but I am getting short on funds. So I was thinking it may be fun to have a girls night at my house on Saturday night. I have been dieing for a reason to use my fondue pot anyway. I would like it if no one were to bring their kids if possible. I have a small house. I will have to have my kids here of course, but they will be going to bed eventually and can be distracted by a movie in my room. I was also thinking that maybe anyone who comes could bring their favorite thing to dip in fondue to share. If not, I'm sure I will have some stuff. Any other ideas are welcome. I am hoping for a good turn out.

Please, let me know if you are interested. (Jami and Krista, I have a feeling that you won't be wanting to make the voyage. lol)

My Exciting Purchase

First off, I have to say. I am addicted to shopping. There I admitted it. Are you happy? The funny thing about that is that if you had asked me this time last year or maybe even six months ago, I would have said different. Yes, I shopped, but I was pretty good at getting the essentials and not feeling a void. Then, I got a high of sorts from seeing the balances on our debts go down. Every time another thousand dollars was paid off I considered it a personal victory. Now, I have a hard time going more than a few days without buying something for myself, I start going crazy. Sometimes I even feel depressed if I can't go spend money.

OK. No more depressing. Now for the exciting. Yesterday, I went to Target on my way home from my interview (for those of you not in Brighton, Target is down the street from Kohl's and you would have to drive past it to get back on the highway). John had described a shirt that he wanted and there used to be a dress there that I REALLY wanted but hadn't bought yet (surprisingly enough). I got the shirt for John, but they no longer had the dress. I was sad, but I continued to look through the clothes until I found a shirt that I just couldn't live without (I didn't used to be like that either). Then, I went across the aisle to the lingerie (I love lingerie). I have this secret obsession (not so secret now I guess) with buying pretty panties and bras that match. Of course it help that John loves to see me in them (I know too much info). My favorite color is lavender. They now have lavender bra and panties at Target! Even more exciting than that, I got the bra one band size smaller and one cup size bigger than all of the bras I had bought before, and the panties were one size smaller, and they fit! That means that as I am getting smaller, I am not losing my boobs! Yay!

Goal Check

I know I didn't do this last week. Let's face it, I didn't have much to report. I am also worried about people getting bored reading about how much I fail at the same goals I have had since right after Christmas week after week. I guess if that is the case, those people don't have to read the goal checks. Oh, well. Here goes nothing.

Book of Mormon- Believe it or not, even with school being out, I was able to accomplish this goal three days last week. I have a feeling that this one will be a bit harder over the summer due to the fact that the kids aren't eating breakfast at the same time every day. I may try to move this to lunch time. We'll see.

Exercise- Even with a schedule I only got a work out in 4 days last week. I did however put everything I had into those workouts. I credit the workouts that I did get to the 1 pound I lost last week. Just imagine how much I could lose if I were to keep up on this one. I have a new workout schedule for this week that I am more excited about. If you want to see that click here.

Journals- I wrote in both journals 4 days last week. Not bad compared to the week before. (I know I didn't report on that. There was a reason for that.)

I am going to try to work extra hard this week on my goals. I am determined to accomplish them 5 days this week. I am going to try to tap into the enthusiasm that I had the first few months of the year.

I Guess I'll Take It

I lost one pound this week. I have to say, I am a bit disappointed in myself. I know it is my fault that I didn't lose at least 2 pounds. I had a few binges this week. I went way over on my calorie allowance. The worst part is that it all started with the happy news that I was losing inches. It was like I had to celebrate or something. I am noticing that the more I sit at the computer, the more I eat. Hmmm....I'm not totally sure I'm ready to give up the computer. Yesterday, I made myself do housework before I was able to get on the computer. I did really good at not thinking about food most of the day. Then I went to Taco Bell for dinner. (I have actually learned to be good at Taco bell.) The bad part came after Taco Bell though. I went to a church activity and ate a lot of cheese ball with crackers. I knew that wasn't good for me. Now, those of you who saw me eat last night may not think it was much of a binge. It was for me lately. I have noticed that my binges are getting smaller. For example, a few weeks ago I felt like I had totally binged on cookies. I had eaten 5 that day. In the past I would have eaten 10 or more without counting them or batting an eye. I guess that means I am getting better. I just wish I could stop and eat those kind of foods in moderation. The pounds would start to melt off again if I did.

I'm So Excited!

On January 28, I took my measurements and put them aside in a notebook somewhere. Since then, whenever I thought about taking measurements again, I talked my self out of it. I figured that nothing would have changed or I may be even bigger no matter what the scale said.

Today, I was reading some journals on this site. One girl updated her measurements each week. I noticed that she was losing those inches pretty fast in some parts of her body. I thought to my self, "I wonder if anything has changed in my body." Then, I took my tape measure into the bathroom with me and shed my clothes (no need to add anything from clothes). I proceeded to write down my measurements.

I will have to admit that I cringed at some of the numbers until I found the ones from January and compared. I am so excited that I just have to share. I still don't like the numbers, but I love the progress.

January 28:

Around belly at belly button: 42 3/4 inches

Around Hips: 43 1/16 inches

Around Left Thigh: 25 1/2 inches

Around Right Thigh: 25 1/4 inches

Around Chest Under Breasts: 37 1/8 inches

Around Chest Including Breast: 40 3/4 inches

I didn't do a butt measurement.

Today (May 28):

Around Belly at Belly Button: 38 inches (4 3/4 in. loss)

Around Hips: 41 1/2 inches (1 9/16 in. loss)

Around Left Thigh: 24 3/4 inches (3/4 in. loss)

Around Right Thigh: 24 1/2 inches (3/4 in. loss)

Around Chest Under Breasts: 33 1/2 inches (3 7/8 in. loss)

Around Chest Including Breasts: 39 inches (1 3/4 in. loss)

Around Butt: 43 inches

Total Inches Lost: 13.1875 (not sure on the fraction for that one)inches

I Let The Kids Take Pictures Again

I have let my kids take pictures with my old camera a few times. Now that I have a better camera (thanks to my hubby), I don't have to worry so much about if the kids will break it.

Workout on a Schedule

I have been slacking in the workout department. Due to a lack of funds, I can't join a gym. I used not want to join a gym, but now I can't wait until the day that I have enough debt paid off to be able to pay for a membership somewhere nearby. For now, since I do like to workout, I am using workout videos. I have quite a few that I collected in the past 10 years or so. My problem is that I am having a hard time motivating myself to workout at night lately, and I am just not coordinated enough in the morning before my kids wake up to workout then. I have decided that I need to make a workout video schedule. I will make it on Sunday or Monday so that the schedule is varied each week.

Here is my plan this week:

Monday: The Firm
Tuesday: Pilates
Wednesday: Tae Bo
Thursday: 30 Day Shred
Friday:Pilates
Saturday:Kick Boxing
Sunday: OFF

Our New Addition

We have a dog! My wonderful husband finally caved and got me a dog. He did his research and found out what bread that he would feel comfortable with. He decided that a Beagle would fit our family the best. He looked on Craig's List and found a good candidate.

Now, we are the proud owners of Lexie, a 7 year old Beagle. She is a very sweet, loving, good dog. She fits right into our family. Noel was a bit afraid of her at first, but she is getting used to her already. The only creature that doesn't seen to like her is Lady (the cat), but she is even getting better.

Surprise!

I was pleasantly surprised when I weighed in this morning. Despite my lack of exercise (I'll post about that on Monday), I still lost a pound. I did pretty good at counting my calories in my food. That was enough for that pound, I guess. Of course, it could just be that my cycle is FINALLY done (stupid thing lasted a week and a half). Whatever it is, I'll take it. Today is was off day, so I get to eat whatever I want. Good thing too! I have a baby shower to go to and some ice cream in the freezer that is just waiting for me to eat more than half a cup (it would probably be just a bit more, but that isn't the point).

Where Druciana Came From

I don't know if anyone is wondering this or not. I just feel like blogging and can't think of anything more interesting. That means that anyone reading this will just have to deal with it. Don't worry, it's not a long story.

Anyone who knows me knows that Druciana is not my real name. It is, however, my Internet name. I use it for longing into just about everything (credit card accounts, twitter, ravelry, checking account, GMail address, calorie counting site, you get the point). I use this name because I know that no one else will. How do I know that? I made it up.

You see, Druciana is my D&D name. It all started with Icewind Dale (a D&D based computer game). My husband wanted me to play with him and I got hooked. The main character that I used was a cleric. I wanted to come up with a name that sounded magical. Somehow, I just typed this name into my computer and decided on how to pronounce it.

After that, anytime I played a D&D based game, I used Druciana. Sometimes she was a cleric and sometimes she was a wizard. She was always something magical.

Now you know my geeky secret.

Just Not The Same

I bought some turkey bacon at the store yesterday because, well, it was on clearance and I was curious (my curiosity gets me in trouble sometimes).

It is advertised as a good, less fat, lower calorie substitution for bacon. It is lower fat. It does have far less calories than regular bacon. It even has less salt than regular bacon. However, it is not bacon!

I cooked up the package today. It stuck to the pan horribly. It didn't have that nice bacon aroma. Then, I tasted it. Are you ready for this? It tasted like...warmed up sandwich turkey. Yep. That's right folks. On a sandwich with ham, the crunch was a bit like bacon. I would have to say that is where the similarities end. I don't think I will be able to use this a substitution for bacon.

The good news. I told the kids is was bacon, and they all ate it. They even wanted more! To them, it was called bacon, so it must have been bacon. Of course, we are talking about a couple of 5 year olds and a 3 year old.

My Music

Tara did this one, and it appears that I was tagged due to the fact that I read it. It, also, sounds like fun.

The question of the day is: What kind of music do you listen to that you are embarrassed to admit?

This one is a bit of a stumper for me, but I think I have an answer. I like to listen to Kenny Rogers. Mostly just "The Gambler." I blame my first job. It was at Kenny Rogers Roasters. For the first few months, we listened to only his music. I didn't like it at the time. Now it brings back such good memories of a job that no longer exists.

OK. So if you read this and you are not Tara, your it!

Goal Check

I have had a difficult week mentally. I am proud of what I did get done though.

Exercise- I got some kind of work out in 4 days. I guess 5 is you count my walk on Friday. It was a slow walk, but I did walk a lot.

Journals- I wrote in my journals 4 days last week. That is one day more than the week before, so I am counting that as an improvement. I am also going to print my blog entry from yesterday and put it in my personal journal. I guess that make it 4 days last week for my scripture journal and 5 for my personal journal.

Book of Mormon- I did good on this one. I turned on one chapter a day Monday through Friday. We just finished Words of Mormon today, so I guess the last few days I could say that we did one "book" each day. hehe

I am feeling pretty positive about the things that I DID accomplish last week. I am, also, feeling pretty confident that I can do all of these goals 5 days this week.

Why Is It So Hard?

For those of you who don't know by now, I am looking for a part-time job. I would be working after John gets home from work, so the issue of child care will be taken care of. I figured that it wouldn't be that hard to find somewhere in Brighton that would hire me. I guess I was wrong (or I am too impatient).

I started applying for jobs the day after talking to Tara (my good friend for whom I watch her daughter 3 days a week). Thankfully, Tara was understanding to my situation, even agreeing to let me use her as a job reference since I haven't worked outside the home in about 8 years. I applied at Lowe's, Wal-Mart, Target, Home Depot, Dish Network (actually in Thornton), Quiznos, Auto Zone...(you get the picture). I am planning on applying at Kohls tomorrow. The thing is, I have only heard back from one place, Target. That was a nicely worded email stating that they weren't hiring (even though the signs on the door say they are). The manager at Quiznos acted excited until I told him my availability was after 4 on the weekdays and no Sundays.

The thing is that I need a job. I feel like getting a job is the right thing for me to do right now. I want a job outside of the home for now. I thought, for some reason, that it would be a quick and easy process. I guess being 30 with not much work experience in the last 5 years (which is what most of these places are asking for) makes me less qualified than some high school kid with no work experience.

Oops!

I gained .5 pounds this week. I know that isn't much, but it isn't a loss. I am so disappointed in myself!

I can blame it on two things. First off, I started my period this week. It is such a rare thing for me. I don't know how my body reacts to such things. Secondly, I made chocolate chip cookies on Monday. That means that while trying to be good and not binge on them, I still ate a lot of cookies. In the past I wouldn't bother to count. I would have just eaten them and dealt with John's disappointed face when he learn that I only saved one or two for him.

I guess I should feel lucky that was all I gained!

My Mother's Day Card

My sweet little first grader made me this card for Mother's Day. I was told the teacher questioned whether or not to make him redo it. I'm glad she didn't because this truly shows his personality.

Of Course!

I have been spending a lot lately due to the excitement of a new credit card. I decided yesterday that I would go this week without spending any money unless it was for paying bills (the water bill is due this week).

Of course today things have come up that makes this goal difficult. Fist of all, I actually start a period. I know who knew my body could even do that? I haven't had a period since February, and before that it was June or July. Then, when cleaning the bathroom, I ran out of bathroom cleaner. I do have other cleaner, but I really don't like having to scrub. Oh, well. I guess I can pray that I have a light period so that I won't go through what I have from the last time, and use the yucky bathroom cleaner until next week.

Noel's Tidbits

I over heard Noel saying these things to her "baby" as we were walking Eric to school this morning.

"Zoe, you are getting really heavy!"

"You can't tickle me. I'm your mother."

Goal Check

I would have to say that this week I did good and not-so-good.

Exercise- I got some kind of exercise 5 days this week! This is including gardening on Friday. That is hard work. I was just planting flowers, but I was stinky and sweaty when I was done. Plus, it was more than an hour.

Book of Mormon- I did remember to have my kids listen to a chapter of the Book of Mormon a day Monday threw Friday. The chapter on Friday was long, but we got threw it.

Journals- This is where I faulted. I only wrote in my journals 3 days this week. I had said that i was going to do this first thing in the morning, but Sean has been getting up while I have been in the shower lately, and I am useless until I get my morning shower.

I am going for the same goals as last week. I will get some form of exercise, listen to the Book of Mormon with my kids, and write in my journals at least 5 days this week.

Another 2.5 Bites the Dust!

Wow! That is all I could think when I weighed myself this morning. I am 2.5 pounds lighter than last Saturday. It sure is nice to know that all of this hard work is paying off. I have noticed that I am feeling less hungry as I control my portions. I am enjoying eating healthier too. I don't know if it is that or the exercise or a combination of the two, but I feel amazing! I have more energy. I am not as irritable. I have a more positive out look.

I am on my way to my goal! According to the website I have been using to track my progress, I should meet my goal around the end of January. I'm not sure I can even imagine myself with that much less weight, but I can't wait to see I what I will look like.

Chalk Drawings

Eric's Battle droid. It is saying, "destroy the Jedi!"
Noel's drawing. I'm not totally sure what it is, and yes she is wearing jammies.

Sean drew Noel.

Silly Boy

OK. First of all...doesn't Sean have the BEST morning hair? He is just so adorable. Now on to my story...

Sean refused to wear his scarf and mittens that I made for him most of the winter. Even when he went out to play in the snow, he would go out with nothing on his hands most of the time just because he didn't feel like it. He rarely complained that it was cold, but he didn't stay outside for very long either.

This morning was a different story. He was absolutely convinced that it was cold outside when I told him it was time to get ready to take Eric to school. He didn't like that we were going to walk. He went quickly to get his scarf from his closet and tied it around his face (you know like it was 10 degrees outside or something). Then, he was frantically looking for his jacket. When he came out of his room he was not only wearing his jacket and scarf, but his mittens as well. When I asked him why, he just said, "What? It's cold." He was so convinced that is was cold, Eric was almost late to school because we had to stop and let Sean adjust his scarf every time it slipped off of his nose and mouth. I would like to point out that I was wearing shorts and Noel was wearing a skirt. After all, it felt like it was about 60 degrees outside this morning!

Goal Check

I think I am getting back on track. I am still not perfect on my goals, and I think that I wouldn't even work on them if I wasn't making myself accountable by reporting on them each week.

Exercise: I actually worked out 5 days last week! Who knew I could get back on track with that so quickly.

Journals: I got my 5 days on this one to! I guess it helps that I enjoy writing in my journals.

Book of Mormon: By golly, I remembered to listen to one chapter at breakfast with my kids 5 days. I must be getting good at this goal stuff...

My goal for this week is to have it match last week. That is accomplish all three goals 5 days. That gives me 2 days to forget (we all know I forget a lot of things).

Down by 2

I weighed myself this morning (I have decided that Saturday is my official weigh in day), and I was down 2 pounds! I was so excited!

My goal is a pound a week. I know that doesn't sound like much, but according to my doctor's office and other stuff I have been reading, one to two pounds a week is the most healthy way to lose weight, and it makes it easier to maintain after the weight is off. Plus when I think of the fact that if I do lose a pound or two a week, by mid-February next year I will be 40 pounds lighter. That doesn't seem very far away considering how fast the last few months have past.

Obviously what I have been doing works. I am having a hard time keeping my calories in around 165o, but I have boosted my calories out to make up for my lack. It is not like I am eating McDonald's every day. I am just not used to eating that little food.