Vitamin Regimen

When reading The End of Mental Illness, I decided I needed to start a regular vitamin regimen. Each time I read about a symptom that seemed like something I could be dealing with, I added another supplement. I am now taking a multivitamin, magnesium, ginkgo biloba, fish oil, and iron. For the most part, I have taken these supplements for four or five months.

I don't know if it is making a difference because this book was the start of my self-help journey. The thing is that I don't really care if it is the changes I'm making with each book, the supplements, my greater concentration on spiritual matters, or everything combined. I have been feeling better, and I can't afford to send myself and my child to therapy. I am going to keep doing what I've been doing as long as I continue healing and progressing mentally and spiritually. 

Homecoming 2024

Noel's boyfriend is still in high school which means she gets to do some high school things she missed out on the year she was home schooled. This week, she joined him for several homecoming activities such as the peach fuzz game, bonfire, and the dance. 

She has been wanting to have someone really back her to homecoming instead of just the assumption she would go for a long time. She told her boyfriend this, and he delivered! 

She once again made her dress. This time, she got a bit of extra material to make him a matching tie, too. She did such a great job! I am in awe at her talent!

21 Already!

 

My precious Sean turned 21 today! It seems like just yesterday he was climbing on my lap with "blankie" and "arrr" (his security blankets) and a sippy cup. He still love to give me hugs even though he can't climb on my lap anymore. I can't wait to see what the future hold for this boy. I love him more than words can describe. 

Current Trackers

I currently have 3 things I'm tracking in a bullet journal. I'm sure more will come eventually, but I feel this is a good way to get back into it without getting too overwhelmed. Why am I getting back into it? I want to. It's fun. It's a good creative outlet. I missed it. 

First, I am doing a 30 day walking challenge. When I started, my sister was going to do it with me, but between her job and family life, she wasn't able to fit it in. I totally understand. Small children take a lot of time and energy. She has been a supporter for me doing it, however. I am happy to say that even though I am doing this challenge solo, I am doing it constantly and only have 5 days left. I have learned from this one that my highlighter doesn't work well with the markers. I probably won't use it for this kind of thing again. 

Next, I have a tracker for paying off my credit cards. My goal is to pay an extra $20 each time I get paid on top of the monthly payment I'm already making. Will this completely pay them off? Probably not, but it will make a significant dent. Once my heater is paid off, I should be able to allocate more towards my goal to pay them off each month and more than one hexagon can be colored in each time. 

Finally, I have my Miracle Morning tracker. This is one that I made this morning because I filled the last one I made. It will last 35 day. Then, I can make another one. Maybe, I will look for new stickers for the next one. I love the stickers I have, but it is always fun to get new designs for stuff like this. 

I know I will be adding more as time goes on. A page dedicated to Christmas presents for my family will definitely be happening again. The time I did that was my most organized and least stressful Christmas. I will also be making something for my 5k training leading up to the ColderBolder, but that would most likely be displayed on the other blog is I choose to share it. 

Soap Day!

 

I made soap today! I love the process of making things, and soap is definitely one of my favorites. I started making soap for when I had an Etsy shop thinking that people would love to buy handknit washcloths and handmade soaps. I was wrong. My sister was the only one that bought them. After closing my shop, Chad and I decided to use the soap as hand soap in our bathroom. I loved it and have made it a lot since then. 

I use a recipe from The Spruce Crafts that I love. It is easy to follow and comes out good each time. I have made it with peppermint, tea tree (my favorite for soap), and cinnamon (crossing my fingers it works). I prefer making it in molds rather than a block that I have to cut because molds are fun and pretty and don't have to be cut. I have bugs, flowers, and dog prints. I don't think I will ever make a block as long as I can keep buying chocolate molds. 

Scripture Bag

I have been studying in my scriptures a lot lately. I read in the morning as part of my Miracle Morning, and I listen/watch a scripture study podcast on YouTube called Don't Miss This later in the day. As I have dove deeper into them, I have accumulated some colored pencils and a pen to mark important passages and note insights as I go. The problem was that they kept falling out the flap that snaps down, and I didn't have another way to keep them with the scriptures. 

One day I came up with a solution; I would put everything in a scripture bag. I looked online several places for the perfect bag. I found several that would work but none that I loved or could see myself carrying around. (I am one of those weirdos that likes to bring and use paper scriptures instead of using the app on my phone.) After looking for a few days, I decided I would make one. 

The idea I came up with was to use the left-over yarn from a sweater I made earlier this year to make a modified version of a bag form the same pattern book. The original pattern was a bag that lied flat, but I wanted it to fit around the book, so I made sides for it. Also, the original pattern was twice as tall as I needed it, so I just made it shorter. Finally, I wanted the handles to be shorter because I wasn't looking to have one that went over my shoulder, so I made them shorter. Other than that, I basically used the pattern as written. 

Within two weeks of starting it, I had a bag for my scriptures that I love. It is big enough for the book, gum, and my colored pencils and pen. It was harder than I thought it would be, but it was totally worth it!

Miracle Morning Update

I have been doing the Miracle Morning for about 3 months now, and I can feel the difference in my day-to-day life. I have become more active, calm, and organized. I feel like since I am accomplishing 6 goals first thing in the morning, I am motivated to do more with my day. 

In my day planner (I still use an old school paper planner), I have many daily goals outside of my Miracle Morning routine. I have a cleaning goal (dishes plus one other task), an exercise goal (for now it is a walking challenge I'm doing with my sister), a goal to get rid of at least one thing, and anything else that needs to be done that day. I get the sense of accomplishment that I have been missing for about four and a half months, and I love it. I feel like nothing can stop me from becoming the person I need to become. It is amazing how small tasks can lead to bigger things. 

Just Not Good

 

I went into this book kind of excited and ready to learn. A lot of people seemed to like it, and the title is just fun. The problem is that it is just not a good book. 

My issues with the book started in the first section. She talks about frequency and source energy as if the reader is already familiar with these terms. I was not. I learned more about it as I read the book, but I was lost at the start. Then, she acknowledged that she had been an atheist who found God but would refer to Him in more ambiguous way throughout the book. That rubs me wrong. I understand trying to make the material universal, but this crossed a line in my opinion. 

As I moved into the remaining sections of the book, it got better, and I was starting to enjoy it a bit. I even underlined parts that felt significant (I do this in a lot of books). The problem: each chapter has a list of things to do. That can be a bit overwhelming. I can't make that many changes in how I operate my day to day all at once. Also, there was little to no flow from chapter to chapter. She explained why this was so in one of the chapters saying that she sat down with note cards and wrote down chapter headings/ideas then tackled the one by one in random order. I kind of felt done with the book at that point but wanted to push through because I paid money for this book and didn't want to feel like it was a waste. 

I had to stop reading it the chapter about money (the longest chapter). She give no practical advise. She basically just tells people to stop believing money is evil and they deserve to have enough to live and help others. Not bad I guess if that is your problem. It's not mine. I just need to create better habits around money. I can't go out and buy a fancy car because I believe I am worth it and hope to make enough for the payments. I also can't quit my job to chase a dream. These are totally irresponsible behaviors! Why would a self-help book recommend them? 

What did I get out of the book? Believe in yourself. Take a leap of faith from time to time. Don't be afraid of everything. If I have positive energy, I am more likely to receive positive energy. The thing is, I can/have learned those lessons from multiple sources. 

Overall, I did not like this book. It can be confusing and overwhelming. If you want to learn and develop yourself, you can get the little that can be learned from this book just about anywhere else. 

Food Organization

A couple days ago, I went through my pantry and other food cabinet to purge expired food as well as organize them. It took about an hour to pull everything out as I looked for expiration dates, wipe the shelves down, and organize it all. I do this about once a year and am always excited about the results. 

Preparing for Next Year's Travels

Within the last four years, I have been traveling a bit more than I ever have. Most of the trips have been within Colorado, and I have thoroughly enjoyed being a tourist in my own state. I know there is more to see, but I also want to branch out more. 

I have exciting plans underway for next year. First, we will be going to Florida for our anniversary in February. Chad wants to do something big for lucky 13, and we have friends that just moved to a lakefront property that have asked us several times to come visit them. Since Chad works for Comcast and can get free tickets, we will also be going to Universal Studios while we are there. Then, we will be going to Utah in June. We will visit his mom for a few days in southern Utah before heading North to visit my dad and (hopefully) run a marathon. Later that month, I will be going on a cruise with one of my best friends. She got some kind of killer deal through her job and has invited me to go along. I'm sure we will fit in at least one camping trip later that summer, but that is yet to be decided. 

I am so excited for next year! Now, all I have to do is save the money to make all of this happen. Wish me luck!

Why I Don't Post as Much

I have obviously stopped posting as much on this blog. It hasn't been a conscious decision for the most part. A big part of it has been because I have been journaling daily as part of my Miracle Morning. Also, I was struggling with knowing what to post and what not to post and had stepped back a bit while trying to make those decisions. 

A paper journal has many advantages. I love sitting down and writing. There is just something cathartic about it that I can't fully explain. I can spill my guts out without judgement or backlash and just sit in the moment. Also, if some server crashes, the journal is still preserved. Having lost my mom at a young age, I see the value in having these records of my innermost thoughts, too. I have no idea if they will have any kind of sentimental value to anyone other than me, but they will be in existence if someone wants to learn about the real me. 

A few years ago, it had become obvious that a few people I didn't really want to know certain things were reading my blog. When I vented about this, the backlash directed at one of the children was horrible. Since then, I have been trying to make sure not to post things that could have those results. It's exhausting and a reminder of the controlling crap I endured in a past relationship. A bout 4 or 5 months ago, a comment left on here made it obvious that at least one of these people are still reading what I post. (Hi!) I went into a spiral of fear and depression that I didn't know how to get out of myself. This sent me into a deeper dive of self-help books than I have ever gotten into, and it is helping. It has also lead me to journaling on paper again. I guess you can say that those who have been doing what they can to cyber stalk me have helped me find the parts of me I didn't even know were missing. Thank you, I guess.

Am I going to continue posting? Yes. I just won't be doing so on a consistent basis. I will still post about books I love, my testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel when I feel inspired to to so, major life events, my knitting or crocheting, and any other time I feel the need to do so. I just won't be posting nearly every day like I had been for a while. My sanity is more important than the $0.03 I earn off of this per month. 

Temperature Change

There is a saying, "If you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes." It may have taken more than 5 minutes, but there was a significant weather change this week. In Sunday, it was hot. The high for the day was 102. Being someone who struggles with extremes, I was miserable. I went to bed that night feeling very sick from the heat. The last few days have been much better. The temperatures have been comfortable. We have even been able to open up the windows and turn off the window air conditioners. This means that the nights have been quite cool. In fact between Sunday's high and today's low, there was an over 40 degree difference. You've got to love Colorado weather!

Feeling Her Presence

 

Last night, Chad and I did sealings at the temple. This time, we didn't seal any of our ancestry. We helped other people seal together from theirs. It was a wonderful experience, and it felt so good to be back in the temple after being gone for several months. 

At the end of this session, we went into the Celestial Room. As we sat in silence, I prayed for my cousin. Then, I let the peacefulness of the temple wash over me. This was a wonderful reminder as to why I need to do this more often. 

As I went into the dressing room, I was stopped by one of the ladies for whom we did sealings. She told me that when Chad and I sat in front of the sealer with the light streaming in through the stained glass window, I smiled and was absolutely gorgeous. The thought came to my head, "Just like your mom." At this point, I could feel her presence. All I could do was smile and thank her as I felt my mom beaming with pride, standing beside me. 

I am so thankful for the opportunity I had to do this service for other people in the temple. I am thankful we took the time to go into the Celestial Room. Most of all, I am thankful to the sister who took the time to give me a compliment that brought me closer to my mother. I miss her very much and know there will be a day when we will see each other again. 

Time Changer Sweater Update

 

Now that I have passed the German short rows and increases for the yoke of the sweater, I am working on the color work section and loving it. Have I messed up a few times and had to tink back a bit? Yes, but I have stitch markers in and don't have to go back too far to fix it. Each row is a bit more time consuming than knitting with one color, but after only 6 of the 19 rows done, I am already seeing the time changer take shape. I love watching things take shape as I knit or crochet. That's why I keep doing it. 

Day at the Beach

 

Friday, was a good day. We started at the beach and light house in South Haven. I was obviously more excited to be there than the kids, but I expected that because I'm the one that grew up going there periodically. We lakes down the pier to the lighthouse first and took pictures (a must when in South Haven). Then, we walked over to the shore, waded in the water, and played in the sand as we waited for my cousin, Sherry and her husband. 

Then, we went to a tavern for lunch with Sherry before walking around to the shops.

This was followed by another trip to Sherman's Ice Cream where we met up with my cousin, Clint, and his family. Then, we went to Kids Corner (a well known playground out there) and walked back over to the lake.

 At this point, it was finally time to go swimming. I took the kids back to our hotel (only 10 minutes away), left Sean there (at his request), and took Noel back to the lake. We swam and jumped into and over the waves for about an hour before heading back to shore to make dinner plans as Noel and Clint's girls played in the sand and weather a bit more. Then, I went back to the hotel room to shower and change before heading to dinner. 

We met at a brew pub by the harbor for one last meal before going our separate ways. 

I am very thankful to have had this day with my cousins making new memories. It was the best day of the entire trip!

Cemeteries in South Haven

Yesterday, we met up with my cousin, Sherry, and her husband. We met at the lighthouse and headed over to Clementine's, a restaurant my grandpa liked, for lunch. Then, we headed over to the cemetery to visit our grandparents' grave. (They are in a small cemetery not too far from South Haven.) 

Then, we looked up where our great grandparents were buried and found the Flemings were in the same cemetery, so we headed across the grounds to find them. As we did, we saw this really fun unicorn grave marker. 

Then, we made it over to the Flemings. Not only did we find our great grandparents, we also found our great-great grandparents. Their grave markers were covered with moss, and Sherry did her best to wipe it off. There is only so much one can do without the proper tools, though. 

Next, we looked up where my other great grandparents were buried and found that they were in a cemetery on the way back to South Haven. After quite a while of driving around a considerably larger cemetery, we were not finding them, and we each called our parents. My dad said that once we found the Wheelers, they would be to the northwest. The Wheelers were found, but we never found the Mitchells. We eventually had to abandon our search because it was raining. Maybe some day it will happen. Just not on this trip. 

We ended this part of the day with the world's best ice cream, Sherman's.(Seriously, if you are ever in South Haven, this is a must.)

Our Second Destination

Last night we made it to our second destination (the third being home). We are officially in South Haven, MI, and I could be more happy. I thought I would not be back after my grandpa's funeral, but I made it a priority and found a way. 

We dribble about 6 hours from where we were in Illinois to our hotel. I drove the first half and Noel the second half (Sean didn't want to drive). She did both state line crossings in rush hour/vacationer traffic. (We were close the residual traffic from Chicago and drove past a few resort town.) 

I am so happy to be here. It feels like I'm finally home!

MY Cousin

 

When we were kids and visiting our grandparents or each other's house, we were rarely seen apart. We have always click in a special way. When my family moved to Colorado, one of the hardest parts was that we couldn't see our cousins very much. We have spent most of our adult lives apart, raising our kids and living. Of all of my cousins, it has been hardest to be separated from her.

Now, she is most likely dying, and I changed my vacation plans to spend time with her. Even with her health struggles, we still click. She is still MY cousin. We will always have a special bond that none of our other cousins share.