Someday, I will get professional help again. It’s not the budget right now, and I’m ok with that. Even though I go into a downward spiral at times, I know it can be worse. It has been worse. Last time it scared me, I got help, and I am working on the coping mechanisms I learned three years ago. It is more important for my kids to be taken care of for now. One of these days they will all be gone, and I will be able to put more into myself at that time.
What am I doing now? I am exercising more and have started to read fiction again before I go to sleep at night. I am reading in the Book of Mormon more consistently again and listening to conference talks while I work. I switched to watching Heartland instead of intense police and medical dramas. I have cleaned my desk a bit and am looking for more things to get rid of. I have had a few conversations with my husband to tell him what I am stressing out about.
All of these things are helping a little bit. I think that it will help more as the habits develop. I am working on having hope for the future again.
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