He's 14

I am trying to do better at documenting things that happen in my family, but I am failing. I missed an important day.
Sean turned 14 on the 25th. He was able to enjoy 4 days of off and on birthday celebration. On Friday, September 22, I took off work and went to Boondocks with him. We played laser  tag, bowled, drove go-carts, and played in the arcade. It was a lot of fun! I was so happy that he chose to spend a day with me. The next day, we gave Sean his presents (a hamster from Noel and a board game he had been asking for from Chad and I and the Link hoodie from Eric a few days later when it arrived) and ate at Village Inn. My sister and her family were able to join us which was an extra special surprise since she has not been able to come up to this part of town since the baby was born in March. Sunday we went up to Chad's parents' house to celebrate his birthday and Chad's mom's birthday. We had another delicious dinner and some desert. They spoiled him by giving him an Eco Dot which he got set up the same night and has not gone a day without using it yet. Monday (his actual birthday), I made him a cake and we finally got to play the game he was given on Saturday.
I am so lucky that Sean is a part of our family. He is such a special boy, and I could not imagine my life without him.

Have to Get it Off My Chest

I am taking a break from Facebook. Why? Because when someone posted a meme comparing NFL players refusing to stand for the National Anthem to Rosa Parks, I was livid. My first thought was (and still is), "How dare they compare a group of millionaires that received a free ride to college to a true American hero who was actually oppressed?" I will not post this opinion on Facebook because I am a coward and fear the backlash of the people who post such memes. I do feel that the men who earn millions of dollars showing their talents to the world do deserve the income that they make, and I hope they are smart enough with that money that they will be able to live comfortably for the rest of their lives, but I do not think that they are oppressed in any way. Is this me being naive? Maybe. It will take a lot of convincing with many examples to change my opinion. Until either that happens or my poor brain calms down, I will stay away from Facebook and the claims that this is more than just a bunch of pampered stars having a fit.

They Grow Too Fast

I am sitting here looking at the pictures on the wall. The ones that look back at me are the kids' school pictures from last year. All I can keep thinking is how much they have grown in the last year. Sean especially looks a lot more grown up. I know that he has been maturing more lately, but I don't normally think about how much he has actually grown. I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

Piano Done

The challenge is complete!

Piano Cleaning Time

Unfortunately, this is what my piano area currently looks like. It WILL be cleaned this week. 

Scared for a Bit

I went to long into my other blog to post about my lack of success this week and saw a very scary screen saying that the blog had been deleted. Then, I went to try to long onto this blog. Again, I saw the same screen. I quickly went to my son who had just spent some time on the Nintendo website on my laptop and ask repeatedly what he did, if he deleted my blogs (including his blog). He said he didn't know. I may have yelled a bit about all of the family history lost.
I, then, grabbed my laptop to see what had happened. Apparently, he had accidentally disabled my Google account. This included my email, blogs, and other Google products. (I really only noticed the blogs at the time.) I went through the process of enabling my account. It is all back now, thank goodness. I comforted my then bawling boy. Life is now back to normal...as normal as it can be anyway.

Proud of My Boy

As many people know, my boys have been hesitant to accept the priesthood. Last week my oldest, Eric (15), decided he was ready to be ordained as a Teacher in the Aaronic priesthood. He, of course, didn't tell me. He tols the Young Men's president and a counselor in the bishopric. I was told by the counselor because he was also called to the presidency of the Teachers' quarm in our ward.
Today, Eric was ordained by his grandfather. I was so happy that tears came to my eyes. I didn't know if this would ever happen, but I am glad that my son not only made this decision, he made it on his own.

Making Grandma Mitchell's Pickles

I have been making my grandmother's pickles for the past 2 weeks (it is a 14 day recipe). As I started making the syrup, many memories that have come to my mind. The smell is such a wonderful reminder of the woman that I remember when I was young.
To me, it is the smell of Sunday dinner. On Sundays, she would make roast with all of the fixings. In the middle of the table were pickles. The best pickles anyone has ever tasted. Pickles that only Grandma could make. The next day she would serve the leftovers to make sandwiches and pickles.
Yesterday as I worked on the syrup, I thought of being a child in her home in Milford, IL (this is not where she lived for the last 20 or so years of her life). I could remember being in her kitchen "helping" her get dishes to set the table. The kitchen usually smelled like the smell I will always associate with one person, Grandma.
As I thought about this great lady, I remember how much love she had for her grandchildren and great grand children. I remembered that last time I visited her in Michigan (I have good memories of her there. Just not as many.) My boys were very small. Sean was 10 months old, and Eric was 2.2 years old. I remembered her taking my baby on her lap and reading to him. She was so amazed that he would just sit on her lap and let her read to him. Sean is now 13 and loves to read. I like to think that he got that love from her.
I hope that one day I will be able to make this recipe as good as my grandmother. I hope to be able to pass this recipe down so that the family recipe and memory of my grandma will continue on.

Tender Mercy

https://www.obu.edu/rotc/tribute-to-the-american-flag/

When considering the tender mercies in my life, I was having a hard time this week. Then, I was overcome with the spirit as we sang "The Star Spangled Banner" in Sacrament Meeting today. I am privileged to be a citizen of the most wonderful country in the world. I have the freedom to worship as I see fit. I have the freedom to vote. I have the freedom to speak out when I feel that thing are not right. I have many other freedoms that some people take for granted. I am honored to be chosen to be born in and be able to continue to live in such a wonderful country.

Tender Mercy

My tender mercy this last week was a wonderful talk that was given in Sacrament Meeting last week. It really made me think about the things that I needed to do differently with my kids to try to continue to teach them the gospel in the home. It seems like the older they get, the more resistant they get to the teachings of the gospel. I knew I had been lacking on a few things like Family Home Evening and scripture study, but I needed the reminder. I have talked to my husband,and we decided to start having Family Home Evening again. I think this will really make a difference in my family.

The Lord Will Find a Way

When the Lord has a message that needs to be shared, He will find a way for that to happen. In Jeremiah 36, Jeremiah is not able to go into Judah to preach to and warn the people. The solution was that he dictated his message to Barauch and these prophesies are made into a book. The king responds to this by destroying the book. Rather than giving up, Jeremiah dictates to Barauch again. This time he adds to his message. (Jeremiah 36)
We have seen this in modern times as well. Joseph Smith dictated the 116 pages in the Book of Mormon. He allowed Martin Harris to take them temporarily, and Martin Harris lost the manuscript. Joseph Smith was instructed by the Lord to not re-translate the pages because those who were seeking to destroy the message of the Book of Mormon would alter the words (Doctrine and Covenants 10:10-11). Luckily, the Lord had known this would happen when the Book of Mormon was being written in Nephi's days. Nephi had been instructed to write some of the same things as his father (1 Nephi 6:1).
These are examples of how the Lord will find a way for his message to be taught to those who need it at the time they need it. We are privileged to have a prophet on the earth today who continues to receive revelation for the Church. Elder James E. Faust told us in a conference talk, "The prophets, seers,and revelators have had and still have the responsibility and privilege of receiving and declaring the word of God for the world." Once great thing about living in our day is that when these revelations are revealed to us, we can hear the prophet tell them to us in conferences. If for some reason we miss those conferences or want to refer to them again, they are published the following month in the Ensign which we can access online and though apps on our phones/tablets.

https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/quote-meme-uchtdorf-1222045?lang=eng

When I was 17, my mom told me excitedly about a proclamation that was revealed to the women of the Church at women's conference on September 23, 1995. This proclamation has continued to be used to teach us about the divine nature and purpose of the family. My mother loved this doctrine. She passed away less than a year later. I truly believe that the timing of this revelation being given to the church prior to my mother's death was not a coincidence. She needed to learn this doctrine in this life, and she needed to feel the excitement she felt about the gospel in that moment.

Tender Mercy Research

I found an article/conference talk about tender mercies by Elder Bednar from the February 2012 issue. He pointed out that we are are able to have tender mercies in our lives. There is not a qualification process. My favorite quote from that article is, "I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord's timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them."

Fasting

http://www.relatably.com/q/fasting-quotes-christian

Isaiah 58 has so much packed into the 14 verses it comprises, I would suggest everyone read it. The principle that stuck out to me was in verses 5-8, fasting. 

Growing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was taught to fast the first Sunday of every month. I do not really remember being told until I was older what the purpose of the fast was. It was a continued struggle for me to follow this principle. When I was pregnant and nursing, I thought it was great that I did not "have to" fast for a while. It was not until June of 2009 that I was taught the true meaning of the fast. 

The first part of 2009 was very difficult for me. My husband at that time was more interested in talking to a girl online than spending time with me or the kids. He even took a month off of work to "write," but ended up chatting with her most of the time instead. In June he went on a trip to meet his "writing friends." While he was gone, I talked to my friend about the troubles I was having in my marriage. She suggested that I fast and pray about it that Sunday which just happened to be fast Sunday. She told me to read an article in the Ensign to help me know how to have a more meaningful fast. I followed her advise. I read the article. Then, I fasted. I remember praying and crying to know what to do to save my marriage. A few days later, it was confirmed that my husband had been cheating on me while away with his "friends." I was so confused. 

About a month after the revelation that would later change my life, the man I was married to and I decided through counseling that we were going to try to work things out in our marriage and stay married.  About an year and a half later, he moved out for good. I questioned why we got back together if it was going to end up in divorce anyway. When I prayed about it, I was reminded of my righteous desire that I had fasted and prayed about. The Lord was trying to help me.

http://keywordsuggest.org/gallery/261065.html

Asking for help is not the only reason to fast, though. As a classmate of mine pointed out it also helps us feed the poor. When we fast, we donate money to the Church. It is called Fast Offerings. We are asked to donate the money that we would have spent for the meals we went without. That money is then used to help feed people in need. 

I have struggled with this principle most of my life. I am going to try harder to follow it in the future to have an honest fast that will help lift the burdens of myself or others. 

Two Tender Mercies

I have been listing to the scriptures as I get ready for work, and it has made a big difference in my day. I can really see how my mood is better, and I am more ready to deal with the challenges that life puts in front of me. I did not realize what a difference it would make.
I have continually been able to see tender mercies in my life. This week the main one was the change I recently had with my job. I was miserable working in the call center at work and stressed out by all of the changes and with not knowing if I would have a job by the time they were done with the restructuring. I prayed for help a few months ago daily because I was so stressed out and depressed that I did not know what to do with myself. I had also been applying for jobs because I though that a change was what was needed. One day, a supervisor came over to talk to my supervisor to see if he knew anyone wanting to work in the billing department. I overheard the conversation and knew that this was meant for me. That day, I started the process of contacting the supervisor in the billing department and made sure he knew I wanted the job. I have now been working in that department for about three weeks. It has made a big difference in my life at home as well as at work. I have been getting back on track with my school work,and I have more patience with my kids.

Tender Mercy of this Week

I have been looking for more tender mercies in my life. As I have done this, I have not only been able to recognize the tender mercies in my life now, but also some of the tender mercies I was given in the past. Yesterday, while I was facilitating a self-reliance class, the circumstances of my divorce were revealed because I was explaining why I had to go back to work when my daughter was so young. As I explained this, I realized that meeting my current husband when I did and getting married when we did was a tender mercy. He is completely a different person than my ex-husband. He loves me unconditionally and respects me. For many years in my first marriage, I wished my husband would treat me the ways that my friends' husbands treated them. I longed to feel loved no matter if I finished my "chores" that day or not. I have that now. Meeting him and becoming friends with him as I was going through the divorce, and then marrying him about a year after filing was what I needed. I did not have the skills needed to take care of myself and three kids. Even though I was working, I needed him to help me learn to be the strong person I am today.

Missionary Work

First of all, I have to say that I got something different out of this scripture than one of my classmates. Isn't it wonderful how the Lord will speak to us in different ways depending on what we need at the time?
We are commanded to be missionaries. Not just if/when we are set apart to serve, but always. In Isaiah 6, we are told, "...Go, and tell this people..." (verse 6) He continues on in verse 9 to say, "Make the heart of this people fat, and make their ears heavy, and shut their eyes; lest they see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart and convert, and be healed." Isaiah is not telling us to "go, and tell this people" when you are called to a full-time missionary. In fact, there is not a provision added to that.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/238620480229538626/

In more recent times, we have been commanded to teach the gospel to those around us as well. When I was a child in primary I learned the saying, "Every member a missionary." This means that we are all to teach those around us the gospel. In the November 1997 Ensign, Richard G. Scott addressed the need for every member to be a missionary. He told us to prayerfully seek for missionary opportunities. He says that we start today to find the joy and excitement of doing missionary work. This can be scary, but if we pray for help, He will help us. It could be as simple as answering questions when ask. It could be as intimidating as correcting the wrong information that people have. Years ago, when I worked in a doctor's office, I had a friend that was searching for help with her children. I did not have children yet, so I really did not feel I had the answers for her even though I wanted to help. The visiting teaching message for that month had the answers that she was looking for. I made a copy of that page out of my Ensign, and gave it to her one day before work. As she read it, she had tears in her eyes as she thanked me for the help she had been praying for. I do not know if she ever joined the Church or searched out any other information about the Church. What I do know is that I was prompted to help her, and I followed that prompting. I know it is not always that easy.
For those who think that they are not able to perform missionary service, Elder Scott advised us, " There are other ways you may not think of as missionary service. For example, a young mother can teach each growing son to prepare to be a missionary to preach the gospel and share his testimony of truth. As a mother and father cultivate that thought through his growing years, he will be a missionary. that is excellent missionary service." This is something I did not even think of as being missionary service. We are told that service starts in the home. Elder Scott shows us in this example that missionary service starts tin the home as well.
We have also learned that doing work for our ancestors in the temple is also temple work. In the same talk, Elder Scott tells us, "...identify your ancestors and arrange for ordinance work to be done for them in the temples..." This may be a less intimidating way to serve those searching for the gospel. We need to remember that they are real people, and did not have the chance to learn the gospel in this life. This is their chance to accept the gospel in their lives.
We have been promised that if we bring one soul unto the Lord, our joy would be great. (Doctrine and Covenants 86:15) We all would like to have joy. Sharing the gospel may be scary at first, but that fear would not continue. The Lord gives us that promise. How often do we know what the blessings are going to be for our obedience to the Lord's commandments?

My Tender Mercy This Week

I feel that I must explain. I am working on being thankful for the tender mercies the Lord has shown me for  a class for school. I chose to work on this because I have once again found myself plagued with depression and anxiety. I think that if I can not only recognized the tender mercies in my life, but show gratitude for them as well, I can pull myself out of this at least a little bit.

https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/images/magazines/ensign/2015/08/woman-praying_1496213_inl.jpg

Psalms is so full of the tender mercies of the Lord. The best part about studying Psalms was that it made me feel normal. I have been struggling with my mental health and begging Heavenly Father to help me. My tender mercy for this week was readying Psalm 13: 2 when David says, "How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?" I could feel David's pain. I have been there. I have been depressed daily, begging for my Heavenly Father to rescue me. There is comfort in knowing that I am not alone in this.

The Lord Will Help

http://radiopielgrzym.pl/images/Aktualnosci/nowe/oboz%20warowny.jpg

I have learned a lot as I have been reading in Ezra and Nehemiah this week. There is more than one story that shows how the Lord will help us to do as he as asked.
As primary children, we learn about Nephi's courage when he was asked to go back to Jerusalem to get the brass plates. Even though he older brothers do not want to go back and are afraid to ask Laban for the plates, Nephi boldly tells his father:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e3/4d/e3/e34de3aa4ffa2252bb4c959ba3b7033b.jpg

We, however, do not hear of stories like this in the Old Testament very often as children (or as adults who teach these children). In fact, this week was the first time I had heard of these stories.
In Ezra 4, a temple is being built. The "people of the land" offered to help them, but hindered the progress instead. They reported back to the king and chancellor who then wrote a letter forbidding the people of Jerusalem to continue building the temple. Rather than giving up, they wrote their own letter to explaining why they are building the temple. They started with saying, "...We are the servants of the God of heaven and earth, and build the house that was builded many years ago, which the great king of Israel builded and set up." (Ezra 5: 11) As a result of this letter, they were aloud to continue building the temple.
Next, in Nehemiah 4, we are given another example of how the Lord will help us do what He as asked of us. The Jews are trying to rebuild the walls around Jerusalem. These efforts are not seen as a good thing by their enemies. They are mocked and attacked. The people of Jerusalem "made (their) prayer unto (thier) God and set a watch against them day and night, because of them."(Nehemiah 4: 9) The people were brave and trusted the Lord to help them keep out the people who were trying to hurt them.
These are such great examples of doing what is asked of them and trusting the Lord to help them find a way to do it.
In today's world, we are not generally writing government leaders to allow us to build a temple. (I know someone has to get permits, but that is not my point.) Also, most of do not have to fight to keep our home safe or build a wall to keep people out. We are asked to fight other "enemies." We fight pornography. We fight media with foul language and loose morals. We fight the bad influences of peers. We fight to keep temptations out of our homes. How do we fight? We stand up for our beliefs. We turn off the TV. We teach our children the gospel.
I am not the expert in this, of course. To learn more you can read President Henry B. Eyring's talk from October 2010 titled "Trust in God, Then Go and Do."

My Eric

I am not sure if I have ever shared this story with many people. My oldest child was a great blessing in a time of sorrow and grief. I had been trying to get pregnant for about two and a half years. The only thing that the doctor could figure out before I lost my health insurance was that I had hypothyroidism. I had been told that once I had my hormones regulated, I would mostly likely be able to have a baby. I wanted this more than anything.
A few months after I started trying to get on the right dosage of thyroid replacement medication, I walked out on my job and lost my health insurance. I stopped taking the medicine and figured that I just wouldn't be able to get pregnant until we got insurance again and went back to the doctor for the prescription. I was wrong. About two months later, I had a positive pregnancy test! I was both excited and scared. How were we going to afford a baby with just one of us working and no insurance? What if I miscarried (so many people did)? What if something was wrong with the baby?
I worked in the temple at the time. One day as I sat in the chapel, I prayed to know if this baby was going to be mine. I was given a definite answer that the baby not only be mine to raise, he was going to be health and strong and grown to be an adult. This was such a great revelation!
This kid is now 15. He is finishing up his freshman year of high school. He is growing into an amazing young man that surprised me every day.
I had the privilege of watching my son this week play percussion with his high school band. I could see the passion and excitement in his eyes as he played. This brought great joy to my soul. Tears streaked down my face as I remembered that this boy continues to be one of my greatest blessings.

We Are Not Alone

https://mormonsoprano.com/2015/04/11/home-the-movie-and-life/

We were never meant to navigate through this world without guidance. We have a loving Heavenly Father that not only is willing to help us when we are struggling, He is waiting for us to ask him for help and follow His commandments. If you think about it, our part is easier in comparison. (We do not have as many people to talk to.)
Look at the story of David and Goliath. David was facing a daunting task. He did not run from it. He trusted that the Lord would guide him in his fight to the death. When his abilities were questioned he said, “…The lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine…”  By following the guidance of the Lord, David was able to kill Goliath with is first shot (he used a sling shot and smooth stones).
Later in life, David needed direction on where to go in battle. He once again relied on the Lord. In 2 Samuel 5: 23, it says, , “And when David inquired of the Lord, he said Thou shalt not go up, but fetch a compass behind them, and come upon them over against the mulberry trees.”  
 I can honestly say, I have and probably will never have to fight a real giant to the death, but I have had to struggle with problems I thought were too big to face including divorce, financial struggles, and the death of my mom and brother. One thing that I learned from these struggles was that I can't get through them on my own. I have to rely on my Heavenly Father. I know that I will not always get specific directions like David did in 2 Samuel, but He will direct me in the way that is best for me and the situation I am in at the time. 
I am so thankful to have a loving Heavenly Father who is willing and able to help me navigate though life when I am willing to ask for help and choose the right.

Answer to My Prayers

I have learned a lot this week as I have worked on being more like Christ and studied the Old Testament. This semester, I have been working on being more prayerful. It has been working wonderfully. I have gotten back into the routine of praying in the morning on my own and with my family at night. I have noticed that the more often I pray personally, the less scripted my prayers feel. I am able to really reach out and ask for help and tell my Heavenly Father the good and rough things that have been going on. This brings me to a big lesson I learned while reading my scriptures this week.

https://1956msbess.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/wpid-img_20150306_090726.jpg

I have been struggling at work with the way some people talk about Christians. A week ago I left feeling defeated and worthless because of the things a few people were saying. One guy was brave enough to speak up for himself. I wished that I had been brave enough as well. 

One morning on the way to work, I prayed for help. I knew that I needed to change something in me to make my anxiety about the situation better. I asked my Heavenly Father to help me be the example to my coworkers that I needed to be and to have the courage to stand up for my religion. 

When I got home, I started to read the assignment for the week looking for principles that I could apply to my life. I was shocked to see the answer to my prayers not long after I started reading (this kind of thing rarely happens to me)! 

• "...be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whithersoever thou goest." (Joshua 1:7)

The Lord was telling me that I need to be strong and courageous. I need to keep the commandments. I need to not turn away from my struggles. He will help me not matter where I go. 

When I read this it reminded me of my seminary days (more years ago than I want to admit) and the scriptures that I had memorized. 

• "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:14-16)

I am not going though the same struggles as Joshua and the children of Isreal when though. I have a home and plenty of food. I have not been wondering around most of my life waiting for the Lord to tell the prophet where the promised land is. However, I can still learn from the same teachings that they were given.

He Will Send Help/Do Not Complain

I enjoyed reading in Numbers 11 this week. In this chapter the children of Israel are all complaining to Moses about the difficulties of wondering around in the wilderness. For example, they complain that they are not able to eat meat like they were when they were in Egypt. These complaints had more than one result.
First of all, Moses became overwhelmed. He was trying to lead the people and take care of their needs and wants. He goes to the Lord with his problems. In verse 11 he says, "wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me." Then in verse 14 he continues, "I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me." The Lord does not turn away from Moses in his time of need. Instead, He tells Moses, "Gather unto me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom thou knowest to be the elders of the people,and officers over them...(Numbers 11:16)" Moses was then able to have some of his burden lifted because he could delegate some of his responsibilities to the seventy men that were chosen.
The other result to the complaints Moses brought to the Lord was that the people were finally given meat to eat, but there was a catch. They were given so much that they had more than they needed. At that time, the Lord used the meat to make the people sick with the plague (Numbers 11:33).
I really liked reading this chapter of the Old Testament. If you have been putting off reading this great book of scripture, stop reading what you have been reading and read this instead.

Only One God

This week, as I was reading in Exodus, I payed attention to how many times we are told to only worship the one true God. I started reading this week in Exodus 20. This, as many people know, tells us the ten commandments given to Moses.
The first commandment given was, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me (Exodus 20:3)." The fact that this is the first commandment given by God means that it is the most important. Then again in Exodus 34: 14 he says, "For thou shalt worship no other god; for the Lord...is a jealous god." When looking at the footnotes, I was also directed to Deuteronomy 6: 14. This verse says, "ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which are round you about you." The Lord repeated this direction several times because it is important. He wants to make sure that we understand that He is the only God we are to worship.
I think that the commandment to not covet (Exodus 20: 17) goes hand and hand with this commandment as well. In the Topical Guide, it says to "see also desire; envy; greedily; greediness; greedy; jealous; lust." When we are jealous or lusting after objects that other people have, we are in a way worshiping those items. For example, if my neighbor had a really nice car and I wanted that car so much that it was all I could think of. In a way, I would be worshiping that car.
One of the more shocking things that I read concerning this topic was in Exodus 22: 20. The Lord says, "He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the Lord only , he shall be utterly destroyed." Could you imagine what would happen if this law was still in place? I think that maybe the world could be a better place if people would worship our Heavenly Father rather than the opinion of others.

My Brother and My Son

Yep, they're related!

Our Summer of Fun

This summer, my family and I made plans to have a lot of fun. My scheduled had changed from working overnights to working early in the morning and getting home around 2pm. We made a list of things we wanted to do: hiking, fishing, camping, going to a water park, swimming at the rec center, roller skating, and going to see a movie. We actually accomplished most of the items on our list and added a few more. I think Eric actually accomplished doing everything.

At the beginning of June, Eric went on a 50 mile hike/camping trip with the scouts. He was very excited and had attended most of the preparatory hikes they planned. He had a lot of fun and came back with some beautiful pictures on his phone.

While he was gone, we had a hail storm that tried to kill my rose bush. Some of the buds survived, and the bush is actually looking better now than it has for a long time. It was a blessing in disguise.

Then, we finished making our first garden box. Very few plants have survived my brown thumb, but I have hopes to get enough pickles off the the ones that are thriving somehow to make my grandmas pickles. Next year, I will plant earlier.

Sean went to Camp Chris Dobbins for the first time with his scout troop. He loved it. He got to ride horses, shoot a gun, and work of game design. 

The first week in August, we went camping as a family with my sister's family. We went to Lake Jackson. It was beautiful. The lake was perfect for swimming. My brother-in-law caught a fish. The dogs loved being outdoors. The first night and following day were wonderful! Then it rained and hailed. After sticking it out for a few hours we decided it was best to just go home. It took two trips to get everything and everyone there. Somehow, we go everything back in one, extremely uncomfortable, ride home. 

That Friday, before the kids woke up, Chad and I went to a small fishing pond in Hudson and caught our first fish since we started fishing together two years ago.

That Saturday, Chad's brother took us and the kids to the Wierd Al concert. It was a blast and the perfect way to end the week.

Now, the kids are back in school. Hopefully, we can continue to make good memories.

A Great Treasure

In my earliest memories, there were six members living in my family: Mom; Dad;, Anthony, my older brother; Marleah, my younger sister; Grandma; and me. I have few memories before the age of ten when there weren’t six of us sitting at the dinner table, going on vacation, or going to church. We loved each other, and I could not imagine my life any different.  

When I was ten, my grandma went to visit my aunt for my cousin’s missionary farewell. Instead of coming home later that week as planned, she went into the hospital because her skin and eyes were mysteriously yellow. A few days later, my brother, sister, and I lined up on the couch as my mom delivered the tragic news, “Grandma is very sick. We don’t know when or if she will be able to come home. She has cancer.” I wanted her to come home and keep taking care of us. I prayed every night pleading for her to get better. Two months later she came home, and I thought everything would be back to normal. I was wrong. My mom flew with my grandma back to Arizona to see the doctors who had originally diagnosed her cancer a few months later. Three weeks after that, May 29, 1989, my dad received a phone call from my mom informing him that my grandma had passed away. After he told us, I didn’t want to eat. I just wanted to go back to bed.  I didn’t understand how we could live without her.

Later that year, mom my struggled with depression and mental illness triggered by the loss of her mother. By the end of the year, she was admitted to a mental hospital. The following years were difficult. My mom was in and out of the hospital due to suicidal thoughts. Then, she left home without telling anyone where she was going. Two months later she was found back in the hospital. We had been abandoned; we only found out where she was because the health insurance was though my dad.

The next few years brought more challenges to my relationship with my mom. When I was sixteen, my parents were divorced, and my mom moved about 20 miles away. I did not understand why my mom left or why she did not want to live with my brother, sister, and me. Finally, when I was seventeen, I realized the problem was not me or her, it was her mental illness. I forgave her and our relationship grew stronger as I visited her whenever my schedule allowed.

The summer of my eighteenth birthday, I felt life could not be better. I had the relationship I had always wanted with my mom, my brother had just moved into his first apartment, and my sister and I were starting our junior and senior years of high school. As my mom worked on her relationship with her children, she came to the conclusion that the best way to feel closer to her mother would be to do temple work for her parents. After a few weeks of talking to her sisters and making plans, she decided to visit her sister in Arizona to do the work and be sealed to them. One night my mom stopped by my job to let my sister and I know she would be leaving early in the morning as planned. She gave us each a hug and said, “Goodbye, I will see you when I get back.” We did not know that would be our last hug. When my sister and I got home from work, we saw our brother’s dog locked up in the kitchen as our exhausted dad explained Anthony had decided to visit our aunt in Arizona with our mom and her roommate, and they had left around midnight instead of early morning because my mom’s roommate believed they were being stalked by her ex-husband. Then, we went to bed not knowing how much our lives would change the next day.

The following morning, Friday, August 30, 1996, is a morning I will never forget. My sister and I woke up and went to seminary and school as usual. While I was in the second class of the day, a note from the front office was brought to me telling me my dad was waiting for me. I walked into the office and saw my dad standing there looking sick and expressionless. When my sister arrived, we were taken into an empty room. “Mom and Anthony were in an accident this morning,” he managed to choke out. When we asked how badly they were hurt, he explained the circumstances of the accident: since they didn’t sleep before leaving Denver, Mom and Anthony, were sleeping in the car when my mom’s roommate feel asleep at the wheel and crashed into the guard rail. My mom was wearing her seat belt, but was crushed by the guard rail. Anthony was not wearing a seat belt and was thrown out the back window with such a force that he didn’t survive the impact. My whole world had changed in that instant. How could life go on without Mom and Anthony? My head was spinning. I had no idea how I was supposed to feel. As we stood questioning why, we were taken into the counseling office to wait for our bishop to arrive and help us go safely home.

The next task was to plan a double funeral. By Sunday, we had most of the plans in place. As we walked into church, it felt different than the previous weeks. It was announced Mom and Anthony passed away followed by the opening hymn, “Families Can Be Together Forever.” I sat expressionless for the rest of the meeting as people bore testimonies of the sealing ordinance and talked about memories of my mom and brother.

Through tragedy and grief, I learned the greatest treasure we have on earth is our family. There are many things people take for granted when their loved ones are still on earth: talking to family members on the phone, wishing them a happy Mother’s or Father’s day, celebrating birthdays, telling them happy news such has marriages and pregnancies, having a mother help with the new babies, getting advice, hearing them laugh, and seeing them smile. Embrace these moments. You never know when they will be gone; leaving you mourning the experiences you are not able to share with them.

Defenders of the Family

https://pondsguidetopersonalprogress.wordpress.com/tag/bonnie-l-oscarson/

As the world defines family with less and less standards, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are to defend the sanctity of marriage in a loving and caring way. By doing this, we share the greatest blessings possible to a family (being sealed for eternity). Even if we are not formally called to serve a mission, we can still share the gospel by teaching those around and being good examples. As the hymn says, we should "all press on in the work of the Lord."

Heavenly Father's Plan

https://blogs.bencrowder.net/mormon/2006/plan-of-salvation/

"Gender is an Essential Characteristic"

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/317574211200664155/

We are not born either male or female by accident. We have always been male or female. We were made that way to complement each other in marriage. In his talk "Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan," Elder David A. Bednar said, "For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinctive, and complementary...By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fullness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other."
I am glad to know that I didn't just happen to be born a girl for no reason. I am very happy to know that I was not meant to do everything on my own. God put me on this earth as a woman with characteristics specific to women. My husband has characteristics unique to men. Together, we can do anything! There is no need and no way for me to compete with him.

Scared

http://www.fearfuladventurer.com/archives/6873

My new assignment for my English class is to write a personal narrative essay. We are supposed to answer the following questions:

• Why is this important to me?
• Why do I still remember this?
• How did this change me?
• So what? What might others take from this experience?

The topics I thought of are: my divorce (I am getting sick of talking about this), the car accident that took my mom and brother from this life, or my mom's many trips to the hospital for depression. I am leaning towards the car accident. Just thinking about talking about it THIS in depth scares me. I think I am mostly scared of bearing this part of my soul to class members. What if I show how weak my testimony is? What if people think I am some kind of wierdo because I this is still so painful after 20 years? At the same time, what if writing this essay heals my heart a bit more? What if this is what I need to do to continue to move on?

Quality Time

To My Chad

I am thankful that I am blessed with three wonderful children. I am blessed to be sharing them with the best example I could ask for. He may not be their father by blood, but he is the one who puts Noel to bed at night, helps lead our house, encourages them in everything they do to the best of his ability, and shows them how to work hard for what they want. 

My Divine Roll

about a month before Noel was born

When I was growing up, the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up was a mommy. I got my wish January 10, 2002; September 25, 2003; and November 22, 2005. Eric, Sean, and Noel are my greatest blessings and my biggest responsibilities. Heavenly Father has entrusted them into my care. As a mother, I am to nurture, love, respect, and teach them. 

If I don't do my part to teach them how to live the gospel, I will be held responsible. That is overwhelming at times. When they were little, they loved to share their testimonies, go to church activities, and say prayers. Since their dad put aside his beliefs, it has been a struggle. I am not going to stop trying though.

Mosiah 4:14-15 "And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil...But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another."

Eternal Marriage

I too this from my friend's Facebook page.

You Are Not Alone

This reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Michael McClean.

Your not alone
Even tho' right now you're on your own.
You are loved in ways that can't be shown;
You're needs are know;
You're not alone.
And when you cry
You're just letting go a heartache deep inside.
So tomorrow there'll be sunshine in the sky-
And love close by:
Your're not alone. 

This artist and this song have helped me through many trials including the tragic death of my mom and brother when I was 18. He does an amazing job of writing songs that speak to my heart.

"We Believe As We...Make and Keep Sacred Covenants"

When I was a 12 to 18 years old, I was in a wonderful organization called Young Women. In my early 20's, I had the privilege to serve in the presidency with the best girls ever. Every Sunday for the years I was either a girl participating or a leader assisting, we recited the theme of the Young Women. It has changed slightly since then, but the lessons I learned from it remain the same.

http://robbygurlscreations.blogspot.com/2011/03/young-women-manual-2-lesson-41-optimism.html

Making and keeping sacred covenants is near the end, but that doesn't mean it is not important. A covenant made with God is sacred. It is a two way promise; we promise to follow His teachings; He promises to give us blessings. The wonderful part of these covenants is that He doesn't break his part of the promise. In Doctrine and Covenants 82:10, the Lord promises, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

When we perform ordinances in the temple, we make covenants with the Lord. In The Power of  Covenants, Eler D. Todd Christofferson says, "If we are faithful to the covenants make there, we become inheritors not only of the celestial kingdom but of exaltation, the highest glory within the heavenly kingdom, and we obtain all the divine possibilities God can give." Isn't this amazing! By making and keeping sacred covenants, we can receive the ultimate eternal rewards. Can we really ask for more? 

Yes, Eric Clapton. I Will Still Be The Same If You Saw Me In Heaven

http://thelivingtruthfellowship.org/jtltf/bible-teachings/articles-by-topc/life-and-death/121-will-christians-really-live-in-heaven-forever

When I was much younger, Eric Clapton's song, Tears In Heaven, asked though provoking questions.

Would you know my name
If I way you in heaven?
Would you be the same
If I say you in heaven?

This song was written shortly after his son had passed away in a tragic accident. He missed his son dearly.
As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints, we have answers. In Finding Happiness, a talk given by Elder Richard G. Scott, we learn, "...we willnever lose our identity or memory of cherished relationships..." As someone who has lost loved ones, this is a comfort.
If we live righteously and make and keep sacred covenants, we will be with our families in the eternities, and we will know each other because we will still be the same.

Gospel Truth

http://whymormonism.org/3066/truly-liberated-mormon-wife/pinocchio-truth-free-jm

"The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth.
  Light and truth forsake that evil one." Doctrine and Covenants 93:36-37

My favorite parable to illustrate truth was told by President Uchtorf in a C.E.S. devotional titled "What is Truth." In this, he talks about a poem in which six blind men are lead to an elephant (something they have no previous knowledge of). They each feel a different part of the elephant. One feels the leg and describes it to be like the trunk of a tree. The next one describes the tusk to be spear-like. Then, one man describes the tail to be like a rope. A fourth man says that the trunk is like a large snake. Then, they fight about the truth. As you and I know, they are all right in a way. Since there is not a way for them to know what the entire animal looks like, their truth is based on their individual knowledge (the part of the elephant they can feel).

How can we know the REAL truth if it is that subjective?

We can listen to our church leaders. We have general conferences twice a year. The talks given in those conferences are published for us to read over and over again if we feel the need. (My favorite is "Three Goals to Guide You" by President Thomas S. Monson.) The Lord told us:

"What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself...whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it it is the same." Doctrine and Covenants 1:38

The best part about our search for the truth is not only do we have modern prophets to guide us, we are encouraged to search for the truth. In the 2010 Friend, we are taught,"We receive a marvelous gift when we are baptized adn confirmed. this is the gift of the Holy Ghost...If we follow His proptings, we can return to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ again." ("The Holy Ghost Testifies of the Truth of All Things" by Sandra Tanner and Cristina Franko) We are also challenged in the scriptures to ask for confirmation of the truth.

"Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them...and ponder in your hearts.
And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ,he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." Moroni 10:3-5

I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am glad that the Lord knows me and teaches me more truths when I am ready to learn them.

A Mother's Love

http://aaliyahem.blogspot.com/2014/10/a-mothers-love.html

I believe that a mother’s love never dies. It continues on even after she is gone from this earth through her children, friends, sisters, brothers, and other loved ones.

            A mother has the ability to love her children no matter what they have done. I remember one night when my mom snuck into my room and climbed into my bed crying because of the choices my brother was making. She never once said that she did not love him because of these choices; her reaction was quite the opposite. She was crying because she loved him so much and wanted to help him make better decisions in his life. I knew at this point that I wanted to love my children as much as my mom loved my brother.

            A mother takes the time to show her children that they are loved, not just tell them. I have a special way of showing my son, Sean, that he is loved. Whenever we get a moment to have a long hug, I sing to him. It is not just any song. It is our song, “You Are My Sean-Sean” (an adapted version of “You Are My Sunshin

e). It is one quick song sang to a sad boy, who struggles with depression, but it means the world to my precious boy, and he knows he is loved.

            A mother is selfless. She would give up her last bite of food to make sure the needs of her children are met first. She would make sure her children have adequate clothing while wearing clothing that she has been wearing for more years than the kids have been alive. She will sacrifice sleep to help a child who has a homework assignment due the next day.

            My mom passed away almost twenty years ago, but her influence is still felt. My sister and I take care of each other when help is neeed. During the heartache of learning my first husband no longer wanted to be married, my sister was always willing to help me whether I needed a phone call, help with my kids, or even home repairs. She did exactly as our mother taught us to do; she did more than just tell me she loved me, she showed me. I could feel my mom was near us and happy my sister was helping me.

            Another way that my mom’s love is still spread is how my sister and I have adopted some of my mom’s traditions of love with our kids. For many years, my kids enjoyed “cuddle time” just like we did as kids before getting ready for school. They would each get about five minutes to cuddle with me in the living room chair with no other distractions. My sister and I, also, read with our kids and play with our kids just like our mom did with us. By doing this, my kids are enjoying the legacy of love that my mom left when she died.

            More than just saying she loves her children, a mother shows them she loves them. She cries for them, sings to them, sacrifices for them, and teaches them to love others. By teaching her children how to love, this love can be felt long after she is gone.

*An essay written for English class.

Family Structure

http://www.debate.org/opinions/should-marriage-be-constitutionally-defined-as-between-one-man-and-one-woman

May 4

This semester, I am taking a class called “Eternal Family.” In this class I am learning about the divine institution: the family. This week I read a case study about two college roommates. One taught a lesson in Relief Society about family relationships. Afterwards, the other roommate sent a text saying that The Family: A Proclamation to the World was not doctrine, but rather a feel good story. As it turns out the girl who sent the text was raised by a single father due to her mother’s death when she was young. This girls family situation made her feel like she was inadequate when the first girl said that a family was to comprise of a mother, father, and children.

We know that in the world today our beliefs are different from those around us. It is important that we are sensitive to people who live in differences in circumstances, but not excuse ourselves when speaking of the gospel. We are to “anchor ourselves to the word of God, contained in the scriptures and teachings of modern prophets…we must anticipate that our conclusions will differ from persons who do not think in that way. But we are firm in this because we know that this puts us on safe ground eternally…our explanation of why we think in this way will give others a better understanding of our position.” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, As He Thinketh in his Heart)

With that being said; The Family: A Proclamation to the World proclaims, “…marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God…family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” In his talk No other Gods, Elder Dallin H. Oaks explained, “marriage of a man and woman is necessary forth accomplishment of God’s plan. Only this marriage will provide the approved setting for mortal birth and prepare family members for eternal life.” This is how God intended for us to live, married as husband and wife. The family created by this man and woman, is the center of God’s plan of happiness. Elder D. Todd Christofferson said in his April 2015 talk, Why Marriage, Why Family, “A family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplied the best setting for God’s plan to thrive…families built on such marriages is vital for societies to survive and flourish.” However, the proclamation does also say, “Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.” This is not ideal, but the Lord understands that even when a family starts the way He intended, situations such as the death of a family member may change this dynamic.  I would have let the girl who sent the text message know that Heavenly Father knows of her family difficulties. Her family is still ordained by God and follows his plan. The death of her mother does not exempt her and her family to the blessings that the Lord has waiting for them.

This proclamation is not just a suggestion. It is the word of God. In Doctrine and Covenants 1:38 we are told, “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.” This means since The Family: A Proclamation to the World was given to us by servants of the Lord, the first presidency and council of the twelve apostles, it is doctrine, it will always remain the same. There is no expiration date. We need to follow it to the best of our ability.

My kids have to live in less than ideal circumstances. Their father left the church and then us. His decisions have caused many difficulties in our family, but we are going to make it. With Chad now supporting and loving the kids and me, we can have the family the Lord wants us to again. 

What Is Marriage?

From 1886

I found this gem on Facebook today:

https://www.facebook.com/GottmanInstitute/photos/a.469547105864.241581.149200885864/10153929482935865/?type=3&theater

Mom's Day

Mother's Day is a bittersweet day for me. I love my kids, and I love being reminded that I am a mom. It is also a harsh reminder that my mom is no longer with us. As I get older, it gets a bit easier, but it is still one of my most dreaded days of the year. Today I was holding my emotions together quite well until the closing song in Sacrament Meeting, Love At Home. The memories of my mom flooded my head. Most Sundays these are welcome, comforting memories. However this Sunday, Mother's Day, it reminded me of how much I miss my mom. I know I will be with her again, but today it hurts that she isn't here with me laughing, crying, joking, and loving. I love my mom. I was blessed with the best mom in all of the eternities.

http://www.kalynskitchen.com/2012/05/mothers-day-2012-and-missing-my-mom.html

End of School

It is that time of year again, the end of the school year. This means that my next two weeks will be busier than usual. This week the boys have their only band concert of the year (the winter concert was canceled due to snow) and Noel has her band and choir concert on the same night. This means that Chad and I will have to split up and record each group. Next week, Eric has a choir concert on Tuesday and 8th grade continuation on Thursday. (I will have to miss my classes this week and next to accommodate this schedule.) I also have Girl Scouts still on  Tuesday night and home work to get done. The weekend after school lets out Noel has her cheer competition and parent demo night. I am sure there is more going on that we don't know about. The kids love to tell us about things last minute.